


Saving You

by Snowy38



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alcohol, Belly piercing, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Conflict, Danger, Drug Abuse, Dry Orgasm, Ex punter, Facial, Falling In Love, Feminisation (minor), Finger kissing, Forever, Hand Jobs, Harry gives up the day job, Harry in Lingerie, Harry was disowned, Hot Tub, Hungry Harry, Hurt Harry, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Louis, Jealous Louis, Louis buys Harry, Louis doesn't like being called Daddy, Louis has a sister, Louis was rejected, M/M, Make Up, Millionaire Louis, Musician Harry, Oh and fluff of course, Overdose, Pink pants, Pole Dancing, Pretty Woman sorta thing, Private lap dance, Prostitution, Protective Louis, Rimming, Scared Harry, Sexy kissing, Shopping, So is Niall and Liam at the end, Spiked drink, Spooning, Stripping, Sub Louis, Threats, Top Harry, Top Louis, Zayn is a security guard, blow backs, cocaine addiction, kidnap, meeting parents, sexy talk, showering, thigh fucking, zayn is a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-05 04:59:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 90,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3106970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowy38/pseuds/Snowy38
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles works in a seedy strip club in Las Vegas and uses the big 'C' to get through his mediocre existence. Once he's done dancing he goes home with whoever bids the highest and the lifestyle leaves him feeling empty and alone.</p><p>Louis Tomlinson is a successful businessman but hasn't had the best time with friends and love so he's become a lonely recluse who puts business before pleasure...until he hears about a guy who looks like a girl and visits a little strip club in the city.</p><p>Harry is being bought by Louis not for the night but for good and his testing ways push Louis to the limit...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So here is my new story, sorry for the delay (again) I had to make my own cover photo and it's crap but I wanted something up :) If any of you want to make me one I have some pictures I wanted to use but Photoshop hated me so...
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading my other stuff (if you have) and thanks for trying me out (if you haven't) and let me know what you think!!
> 
> Thanks to Kit and Jess for their betaing!!
> 
> artwork by @BestLarrieFics
> 
> Ang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork by @BestLarryFics

** CHAPTER 1 **

 

Harry Styles considered his reflection in the disgustingly large mirror that adorned the changing room wall.

 

He was tall- having had a growth spurt at sixteen-his body was muscular but soft, his skin was pale and he didn’t bother to tan it- he didn’t need to. His soft look was alluring to his audience.

 

His upper body was larger than his slim legs; but the weight in his muscular thighs balanced him a little. And he’d never be able to disregard the mop of black curls on his head. His hair was getting long- too long, if truth be told. But he liked it this way. If he widened his eyes and pursed his lips just-so, he almost looked like a girl. He liked messing with people’s heads that way.

 

His cheeks were a little sunken; but he had good bone structure, good skin, not classically handsome, but he was striking all the same. Kind of lanky-sexy-dangerous somehow.

 

His eyes shouldn’t be glassy. That was more to do with the line of coke he’d just snorted to get through tonight. And he’d probably be doing the same to get through tomorrow night- and every night after that, he mused.

 

They were green, his eyes; smoky sometimes and sometimes bright. The occasions they filled with humour, delight or awe had grown fewer. At twenty years old, he felt twice his age.

 

He could move. He’d always been able to. Maybe it was the gay-gene or maybe some other unknown talent he’d inherited from god knew where (certainly not his preacher-ish parents), but his dancing was his income.

 

His face creased with the knowledge that this wasn’t exactly the dream. At a painfully awkward and enthusiastic sixteen he’d come to Las Vegas to get into dance school. Only that didn’t exactly work out and the parents who’d disowned him for his choice didn’t want him back so he’d just stayed here, falling into the cracks of the seedy lifestyle.

 

It started with bussing tables but that was never going to pay enough to rent his own place and whatever else Harry had going on, he really needed his own space. Being cramped into a dorm-like house-share wasn’t his idea of fun so he’d gone the next step up- topless waiting.

 

Of course, once he was on that slippery slope, it all fell so easily into place. Next it was serving in just his pants, then it was dancing on the side, soon he was promoted to his own show and now he was a favourite of sorts.

 

His soft, feminine looks and plush but strong body were a winning combination. And then there was his charm. His charm was more famous than he was. He was a seductress, a tease. And tease he did. Very well. Well enough to earn his very own penthouse.

 

Sometimes it meant going without food, but what the hell? He looked good a little skinny and it made his audience want him even more- some kind of sick daddy-fantasy about fattening him up he recognized sourly.

 

Still, when he stripped his body of clothes and danced; he controlled every person in the room. And he danced. Not in a provocative, flashy way. Not in a thrusting, grab-your-crotch way. No. When the music began, Harry absorbed the beat. Every cell in his body responded to the call and he _performed_.

 

When he’d been asked to teach his routine to others, he’d always floundered. He didn’t _know_ how to teach his moves because he never _planned_ them, they just came to him, willing and flirtatious.

 

He grinned. His reflection grinned back; a dimple appearing, just small and cute but he knew if he widened his smile, those dimples deepened either side of his mouth. Yes, he was considered ‘cute’ when he smiled. It drove the men crazy.

 

All hot body, long limbs, muscle and grace and then he smiled and looked like a puppy. Harry couldn’t understand it. He kind of hated having to force a smile onto his face when most days he didn’t feel it. But a couple of hundred dollar bills had been tucked in his thongs for one of those horrible fake smiles, so he couldn’t afford to complain.

 

Tonight was no different, really. Harry was on show, was ready to be bought. And he usually was. His job was more than dancing, more than servitude. He was also a prostitute.

 

And he was clean, thank you very much. He had to be, he could never risk that. Risk HIV, AIDS and the rest of it. He needed this job. He needed this life. Otherwise he wasn’t quite sure what he’d do and that thought scared him.

 

“Harry,” his minder, Zayn called him.

 

Yes, he had a minder. Just for show nights. Sometimes things got a little wild out there and he’d had to protect his safety, no matter how he hated feeling vulnerable. Harry Styles didn’t do vulnerable.

 

Sure, he could act a little school-girl when he needed to but really, what shocked most of his clients was how well he topped. He loved dominating as much as he loved being dominated. An all-rounder, you might say.

 

“M’coming,” he mumbled, a little foggy-headed from the coke.

 

He straightened his wide shoulders and checked down his outfit. It was July 4th Weekend and he was in striped pants and a star-print vest. They’d be ripped off in the routine to reveal his sequin-star-spangled-banner thong. He smirked. Oh yes, they were going to get a show tonight.

 

He ran his hands under his trousers, around his thighs just checking. He was smooth, completely-so. He always checked, though, it was a soothing gesture to make sure his skin was baby-soft and beautiful.

 

He slicked on some red tinted lip gloss and swallowed.

 

The lights went up as he was introduced and the music was straining in the background. This was it, he mused, this was Showtime.

 

He sucked in a breath and strode down the walkway into the bright lights; ignoring the sea of faces, the whoops, hollers and screams. Instead he concentrated on his task ahead. He purposefully threw his weight forward as he saw the fixed pole at the end of the runway and his body swung around it with ease.

 

Yes, this was life, he realized with a grin. This was what he was born to do.

 

Harry Styles, 20, pole dancer.

 

//

 

 

The routine was exactly the same as all his others with the exception of the Independence Day uniform.

 

He was dragging strained breaths into his lungs as he ran off-stage; into the quiet lull of the changing room. It was always so quiet here, such a strange contrast.

 

“We’ve got a bid for you,” Zayn told him softly and Harry gave a nod.

 

Of course they did. Who wouldn’t want to fuck him tonight and be fucked in return? They just better have some coke lined up.

 

“He’s coming backstage, he wants to discuss the deal,” his minder added and this information did surprise Harry.

 

Normally his buyer would wait in a limo outside until he’d changed and he’d slip into the leather seat with an intrepid look, hoping his fuck for the night was somewhere near attractive. So far, he’d not had the best luck. His partners had been attractive on the whole, but they weren't that great in bed. He hoped tonight was different despite the strange request.

 

“I need to shower and change,” Harry said, moving with his heavy grace to do just that.

 

He was dressed in soft jeans and a t-shirt; his hair damp and curling into his neck as he came back through; frowning as he spotted Zayn.

 

“Where is he then?” He asked.

 

Zayn tilted his neck, gesturing for Harry to follow him so Harry grabbed his duffle bag and gripped it in a nervous hand.

 

Okay, he hated being vulnerable but he didn’t say he never got nervous. He hated this bit, the bit where he had to fuck a stranger and pretend he liked it, liked _them_. As nice as sex was; as accustomed to his lifestyle he’d gotten, he could really do without this part.

 

But if he did without it, he’d also do without his view of the strip and his beautiful apartment. He sighed. This was going to be no different than any other night, he assured himself.

 

He was taken in to Jack’s office- the club owner. He ducked his head instinctively in the doorway but really, his 6’1 frame could fit easily. He stared at Jack’s chair where someone was sat, facing away. He saw a head of beautiful chestnut hair.

 

“I’m here,” he offered flatly, desperately needing more coke to lift his spirits.

 

The chair turned. The man sat in it could only be described as stunning. He had an impish face, all thin lips and big blue-grey eyes. His skin was tanned- very tanned, unlike Harry’s lack of sunlight. And if Harry thought _he_ had bone-structure to die for-well, let’s just say that idea was shot out of the water.

 

He looked around thirty, which Harry considered was a boon because he’d had guys much older buy him. And he had this stubble that just looked so….inviting.

 

He tilted his head; wondering why that was. His frown deepened. He really needed more coke.

 

“Good evening,” the man greeted with a smooth husky voice, just a tad on the high side but Harry didn’t mind.

 

“Hey,” he pressed his lips together and lifted his brows in a disinterested greet.

 

“Thank you, Zayn,” the man said past Harry to the minder and Zayn looked to Harry to check it was okay to be dismissed.

 

Harry nodded and came into the room with his languid, fluid ease, folding into the chair opposite Jack’s desk. He’d been in this chair a few times but not with someone else in Jacks seat. It was weird how this guy owned the room, Harry considered. It didn’t feel like Jack’s office at all.

 

Must be rich, he assumed. He flicked his eyes over the guy’s outfit and took in his smart black suit which he wore over a black t-shirt. A hint of rebellion, he smirked. Good.

 

“My name is Louis Tomlinson,” the man introduced.

 

“Harry Styles,” Harry offered and the guy smirked.

 

“I know,” he accepted gracefully.

 

Harry lifted a brow. He was trying to be polite, there for no need for the guy to be an asshole.

 

“That is, I came here especially to see you,” he added.

 

 _Oh_. Harry rubbed the side of his index finger along his lips. What was this, some kind of weird fetish thing? _I heard you’re a guy who looks like a girl and dances like a slut?_

 

Harry ventured his eyes upwards to meet those blue-grey orbs. They were clear, capable of sparkling but not right now. He certainly didn’t have coke, Harry realized disappointedly.

 

“I hear you’re for sale,” Louis continued gently.

 

Harry swallowed. Was he? Is that how it was? He was a commodity to be bought? A possession, a _thing_? He didn’t usually have the mind to care but then he was usually back at a hotel fucking by now.

 

“I am,” he agreed to this fact, because he couldn’t exactly deny it, could he?

 

“I’d like to buy your time,” Louis said then, surprising Harry.

 

He was expecting ‘I’d like to buy you.’ Far more owning, claiming and well…usual. Not buying his _time_ for Christ’s sake. Who did that? They wanted to buy his body- maybe even his soul but he didn’t feel like he had enough of that left to sell.

 

“How much of it?” Harry enquired, wondering why this needed a discussion. What did this Louis guy want to do to him exactly?

 

“All of it,” Louis said then. “Apart from when you’re here.”

 

Harry couldn’t help his jerk up at that. _What?_

 

“Are you into weird shit?” He asked then, deciding not to fuck around. He needed to know this right away.

 

Louis chuckled.

 

“Define, weird?” He challenged.

 

Harry shrugged. “Anything that involves hurting me or hanging me up,” he stated to begin with.

 

“No,” Louis assured, putting his elbows to the table and steepling his hands together.

 

The smirk on his face was combined with an amusement lighting his eyes. Harry stared. How to feel amused? If only he could remember. The drugs were wearing him thin on the emotions front.

 

“Then why this meeting?” Harry wondered. “If you don’t want to lock me in your basement and whip the fuck outta me…” he muttered afterward, seriously scared but not knowing how to show it.

 

“I don’t have a basement,” Louis assured. “Nor a whip.”

 

Harry nodded.

 

“So, why this meeting?” He pushed.

 

“Because for more than one night, I had to ask,” he explained.

 

Harry frowned. “Jack told you that?”

 

He couldn’t imagine his boss giving up on the amount of commission he would get from this deal to demand such things as Harry’s permission. No, he imagined his boss rubbing his hands gleefully and putting up his hourly rate just to get a larger cut of the deal.

 

“No, I told me that,” Louis said.

 

Harry regarded him. He was kinda thin, but not unattractively-so. He looked on the small side but as his eyes appraised Louis, he stood and walked to his side of the desk, sitting back on it. Harry didn’t miss the shape of his thighs or the lovely pronounced curve of his behind. Louis was a hot little package that was for certain.

 

“You wanted my permission?” Harry checked. “To sleep with me?”

 

“To buy you,” Louis amended.

 

“To buy my time- with which you’ll use to sleep with me,” he rephrased.

 

Louis shrugged a shoulder up. “We may do other things than sleep.”

 

“Fuck me, then,” Harry countered.

 

Louis blinked, opening his mouth. He almost looked wordless.

 

“Other things than sleeping and fucking,” he added to accommodate Harry’s latest expression.

 

“Other things?” He frowned. “Not whipping, though?”

 

Louis couldn’t help his smile. It was wide and it crinkled his eyes.

 

“Who whipped you, Harry?” He wondered, then.

 

Harry shrugged, digging down into his chair. He winced, fidgeting as last night’s activities came back to haunt him. Some overly-enthusiastic football player had pounded his ass with no regard to his body whatsoever. He sighed. That’s what came with selling your soul, he mused; a sore ass.

 

“Nobody,” he confirmed. “And I don’t want anybody to, either.”

 

“I already assured you I wouldn’t,” Louis offered softly.

 

 _Softly_.

 

Harry squinted at him. Would he be the opposite in bed? All gentle now and then push him into the mattress and hold him there while he fucked him hard? He felt his dick twitch at the idea, even though he kept saying how he didn’t like the idea of being dominated.

 

Harry lifted his finger away from his lips where he’d been rubbing them to comfort himself.

 

“So how would it work?”

 

Louis smiled, relaxing.

 

“You come and live in my house. You have your own room. If I need a date for a function, you’ll attend. Jack has agreed to that. Otherwise you work as normal. I’ll come and watch you, we’ll go home together,” he said.

 

Harry’s eyes which had been twitching about the room fell on him.

 

“And I have to fuck you whenever you say?” He guessed.

 

Louis blinked again and Harry saw him swallow.

 

“We’ll negotiate that part,” he offered.

 

Harry screwed up his face, not getting it.

 

“So when do I fuck you then? Or you fuck me, whatever,” he added tiredly.

 

This conversation was seriously killing his buzz and he really didn’t get it.

 

“When you want to,” Louis said, and Harry barked out a laugh.

 

“Oh, you had me there!” He chuckled. His eyes would have twinkled if it was actually funny.

 

“I mean it,” Louis said.

 

Harry rolled his eyes. “So you’re paying Jack for my full services, full time, day and night for…however long…and you don’t expect to fuck me?” He checked incredulously.

 

“No, I do,” Louis clarified. “But you’ll want to.” He added.

 

Harry lifted a brow. Jeez, he was confident that was sure.

 

“If you bring enough coke, I’ll always want a fuck,” he promised darkly.

 

Louis made a face like he had a bitter taste in his mouth.

 

“If you want to make that part of the deal, I can arrange it,” he offered.

 

Harry sucked in a breath.

 

“Wait, what deal?” he asked. “I get paid; I do whatever you tell me. I don’t get to ‘negotiate’ or whatever you said.”

 

“You do,” Louis reached into his inner jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope.

 

He passed it to Harry.

 

“A contract?” Harry spluttered.

 

Oh boy, he really wished he had some drugs right now. Anything would do, even a beer or a drag on a joint would suffice. He couldn’t keep his head in this room, in this conversation.

 

“Why is that so unbelievable?” Louis enquired.

 

“Look,” he lifted his hands, applying his fingers in surrender while the letter hung from them. “I’m just a pole-dancer who sleeps with people that pay for it,” he said then. “I’m not sure about ‘making deals’,” he phrased.

 

Louis nodded, taking the contract back.

 

“Okay then at least make some rules,” he encouraged.

 

“Rules?” Harry repeated, feeling a headache coming on.

 

His long legs which were outstretched pulled toward his body, and he balanced one ankle on one knee, running his hand through his wet hair.

 

Louis nodded, waiting. Harry let out a long breath of air.

 

“Can we talk about rules tomorrow?” He wondered. “I just want to crash,” he admitted.

 

Louis blinked.

 

“So, you agree?” He asked, sucking in a breath. Harry almost thought it might be hopeful but he dismissed the idea.

 

He nodded. “Yeah, sure, man, whatever floats your boat…” he murmured, standing; slinging his bag across his body.

 

Stood up, he realized how he dwarfed Louis somewhat and he gave a smirk. Even if he was being paid, he couldn’t see the beautiful business-man pushing him around, least of all whipping him. He gave a lop-sided smirk.

 

“Okay, follow me,” Louis smiled and Harry did see hope there in his eyes.

 

He just didn’t know why.

 

//

 

The ride to the desert was fairly relaxed considering the circumstances. Right now, Harry would have either been locked in a passionate embrace with his buyer or sucking him off in the back of the limo.

 

Louis was on the opposite side of the seat, though as Harry looked thoughtfully out, lights whizzing in front of his eyes.

 

“Do you need to get anything from your place?” Louis asked.

 

Harry considered his manners. He was being ever so polite. It put him on edge. Sometimes the coolest, calmest guys in public were the ones that shunted you flat to the floor with their foot and humped you into the carpet, no mind for burns.

 

He flicked an intrepid look to his client.

 

“I can get my clothes tomorrow,” he offered.

 

He assumed that would be allowed. He wondered how it would feel, not going home after that for a few days. He might miss his place, he realized. He’d certainly miss his independence. But he didn’t know the set up at Louis’ place yet. He might have all the freedom in the world, but he doubted it. He would be a kept man, after all.

 

Harry began to run his finger across his lips again, deep in thought.

 

He heard the click of Louis’ seatbelt releasing, felt him scooch closer. He turned his face toward him, not sure what to do, what to say.

 

Louis’ hand came up and grasped his wrist ever-so-gently, as if not to scare him. Harry frowned at that, confused. He wasn’t scared. Although he probably should be.

 

“What do they feel like?” Louis asked.

 

Harry racked around in his brain as to what he was referring to and he finally clicked when Louis’ gaze came to rest there. His lips.

 

“Soft,” Harry supplied.

 

Louis’ hand was over his, just gently as his sat on his thigh. He didn’t feel uncomfortable since he’d done a lot more than hold hands with a guy but somehow this intimate touch was worse than a blinding fuck.

 

Fucking was emotionless, fucking was good. Touching was…strange.

 

But not altogether horrible.

 

“Can I feel?” Louis asked his voice husky.

 

Harry blinked. Oh god, here came the weird shit, the kink and the no-doubt-soon-to-be masochistic bondage…

 

He closed his eyes as Louis’ feather-light touch ghosted his lips. He was using his fingertip, just that small, smooth pad of flesh to run across his lips. He almost startled his eyes open at the nearly-innocent touch, expecting any minute to be bitten down on, pushed into the seat and fucked with no prep.

 

But nothing happened. Louis kept moving his finger across and back, entranced with his lower lip it would seem.

 

Harry opened his eyes then, feeling a tingle spread over his mouth at his gentle touch. He couldn’t fathom it, couldn’t work it out.

 

“Do you want me stop?” Louis asked.

 

Harry blinked.

 

“No,” he said, and as his lips fell open, Louis’ finger darted through the gap.

 

There was a pause. Harry’s mouth hung open slightly as he waited. Waited for Louis to push his finger in, to progress this little thing he’d started. He waited and waited, until he felt dribble start to broach his lips. He swallowed, inadvertently taking Louis’ fingertip against his tongue.

 

His eyes stared into Louis’, the intense blue-grey so confusing, Harry's mind couldn’t think straight.

 

“You have to push it in,” he said around Louis’ finger, thinking really, Louis did not look like a guy that needed instructing.

 

“Do you want me to?” Louis asked.

 

Oh here we go, Harry mused. Stupid mind games. _Only if he wanted to_ , he remembered quickly.

 

He swallowed again, taking Louis’ finger deeper, running his tongue around it. He parted his lips again; showing Louis what he was doing inside his mouth; letting him glimpse the pink wetness there, which he guessed is what Louis really wanted.

 

Sucking fingers was one of Harry’s specialty, really he could do this with his eyes closed but while Louis looked so fucking engaged, so awed and…well maybe a little bit turned on, Harry couldn’t concentrate at all. He made a mess of it, really, spit dribbling down his chin which he belatedly tried to lap up, but he lost his grip on Louis’ digit as he did so.

 

He wiped his chin off with his hand and felt a blush on his cheeks.

 

Fuck. He never blushed. Ever. Why was he now? He’d had richer and more sophisticated men watch him dribble a lot more than saliva down his chin. Why was Louis any different?

 

He was quiet beside him and Harry found the moment awkward.

 

“Do you want coke, then?” Louis asked his voice soft and deeper than before.

 

Harry glanced into Louis’ lap and saw the beginnings of a hard-on. So he could still bring some kind of reaction, he smirked. He might actually get to keep this job, after all. It was all kinds of hard work not fucking, he mused. He didn’t like to think about the implications of that.

 

He shook his head.

 

“You don’t seem like you’re okay with that,” he explained his decline.

 

Louis shrugged.

 

“I have a swimming pool, a hot tub and a sauna. I’ve never needed much else.”

 

Harry smirked.

 

“Lucky you,” he muttered.

 

“I can get you something if you want it,” he offered.

 

“Do you have whiskey?” Harry asked boldly.

 

Louis made an amused noise.

 

“Of course.”

 

“That’ll do,” Harry decided.

 

“Alright,” Louis moved across the seat back to his original position and Harry felt like the last few minutes had never happened.

 

He glanced over with a frown, watching Louis look out of his window with a soft sigh and he couldn’t explain it if he tried but in that moment, he got the impression that Louis was lonely.

 

He smirked at his ridiculous thoughts and knocked his head back for the rest of the journey.

 

//

 

 

Okay, so Louis’ ‘house’ was actually a mansion.

 

Harry hadn’t gotten around to asking him yet what it was he did for a living, but he was sure it paid plenty well and then some by the looks of this place.

 

Although he was partly excited about coming to stay here, two other thoughts jarred in his mind.

 

One, he looked like a down and out compared to the caliber of staff here- dressed so well it ached.

 

Two, he was trapped. There were huge locked gates at the front of the property and twelve-feet-high metal fences surrounding the property and grounds- all with an electric current.

 

He briefly wondered if Louis was a drug-lord, or crime-gang leader or something but he scotched that notion, not seeing the quiet, small and unassuming man being that kind of entrepreneur.

 

Louis was taking him to his allotted room. Apparently it was the one opposite Louis’ and ‘had a lovely view’. When Harry was let in; he knew it wasn’t just a room at all but probably the grandest suite he’d ever seen in his life. Grander than any of the hotels on the strip, grander than the private houses he’d been taken to on rare occasion, grander than life itself, he mused.

 

He circled around, head up staring at the ceiling; getting a bit dizzy as he reached the window where he stumbled a little over his own feet. Well, okay. That was awkward. He never stumbled, normally; was the surest thing on feet, really.

 

He blamed the insanity of his night so far. He gazed out on the gardens- huge grounds surrounding the property and filled with nooks and crannies of secret gardens, topiary, vegetable plots, pools, golf courses and-

 

 _No fucking way_.

 

“Is that a heli-pad?” Harry asked.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“I don’t have one, though,” Louis added. “I hope you’re not disappointed.”

 

Harry shot him an incredulous look. Disappointed? Was he, fuck.

 

“Yeah, gutted,” he remarked drily.

 

Louis had the grace to chuckle.

 

“Whiskey?” He offered, moving toward what Harry could only describe as a mini-bar in the corner of the room. There was a fridge and everything.

 

“Why not?” Harry mused.

 

Louis watched him while he made their drinks, bringing it to Harry who stood at the window still.

 

“Is this okay?” Louis worried.

 

Harry flicked his eyes to the drink, then back to Louis. There could be something in this, he could drink this, pass out and be fucked into oblivion. He tried to decide if he cared enough not to drink it. He took a tentative sip.

 

“Fine,” Harry agreed huskily.

 

He really didn’t know what to do here. He was expecting for Louis to push him on the bed already and have his jeans down if nothing else by now. This _caring_ thing was all kinds of weird. He wondered if he’d have it in him to do the job now, knowing Louis was so goddamn… _straight_.

 

He smirked at the choice of word. Yes, he was very _straight_. Harry doubted he’d ever tried drugs, danced all night, gone to a music festival or even had a threesome. He liked that he’d done all of those things- well more than three, actually…

 

“What are you thinking about?” Louis asked.

 

Harry looked at him.

 

“The last time I had an orgy,” he replied candidly.

 

Louis blinked, his eyes hidden. He seemed to sigh out a little.

 

“It’s just that your eyes sparkled and I liked it,” he said.

 

Harry arched a brow.

 

“Care for an orgy, then?” He tested. Things were looking up. He could really dig that, he mused. In fact, right now, he’d probably kill for it. To fill and be filled. Jesus, he really needed something stronger than whiskey…

 

“No, I don’t,” Louis replied, almost primly. The reaction made Harry bark out a laugh.

 

He couldn’t help it; Louis was just so…different.

 

“You’re not from Vegas,” he stated more than asked.

 

“No,” Louis shook his head. “Born and raised in London.”

 

Oh. Now it was making sense. Harry smirked, sipping his drink. Louis had moved across the room, seemingly unhappy with Harry's mention of orgies.

 

“You’ve fucked a guy before, right?” Harry asked, just making sure he wasn’t with a completely unrescuable situation here.

 

Louis nodded curtly.

 

“And been fucked?” Harry added testingly.

 

Louis nodded again, his back to Harry.

 

 _Thank god for that_. Harry began to relax.

 

“Is there anything else you need for your room?” Louis asked, like a good hotel attendant might.

 

Harry frowned. “You?”

 

Louis turned.

 

“I’ll sleep over the way,” he said. “I’ll let you get to bed if you don’t need anything more…”

 

Harry shook his head, confused at the sadness showing on Louis’ face. He began after him as Louis went to leave and he almost called his name, but he didn’t.

 

Louis closed his door so gently he didn’t even hear it click.

 

Fuck. Now what? He mused.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for Kudos :)
> 
> Ang

** CHAPTER 2 **

 

Harry ventured down the grand staircase the next morning with apprehension.  He had enough experience to know that quiet tempered men were often the most controlling and he hadn't met a guy like that at work - because obviously his job didn't really allow boyfriends- but he'd met them before. Well one, really. His first love.  His first gay sexual experience and it had been awful. It had put him off being with guys for a while. He'd only ventured back into that territory when he was being paid for it.

 

And okay, he was still being paid for it, but the kind of guy that Louis seemed to be, was brushing far too close to his past for him to be happy about.

 

He was surprised to find the house empty apart from staff. The lady in the kitchen smiled at him warmly as he crept by it.

 

“Good morning, sir,” she greeted softly.

 

Harry was stooping he knew. He lifted his shoulders back and feigned a little of the assurance he normally obtained through sniffing a line of something white.

 

“Morning. You can call me Harry,” he offered.

 

She just smiled shyly.

 

“I’m not permitted, sir, but thank you,” she said.

 

Harry frowned.

 

“You are permitted,” he argued. “I’m not your employer so you call me Harry.”

 

She swallowed, obviously nervous at this confrontation.

 

“What would you like for breakfast?” She asked instead.

 

Harry sighed. Fuck knows.

 

“I don’t usually eat,” he admitted.

 

The lady looked surprised.

 

“Hey, what’s your name?” Harry asked, sliding onto a stool at the breakfast bar where he could see her work.

 

“Emma,” she offered.

 

“Okay, Emma,” he drawled with his lazy speech. “Can you make pancakes?”

 

She nodded and instantly went about it; whipping up batter and producing fresh pancakes with ease, offering condiments to accompany the rather lavish breakfast.

 

Harry gobbled down the food somewhere in the back of his mind thinking his thighs wouldn’t be quite so reedy and his hips not as blunt if he got to eat like this every day.

 

“Good appetite,” came a voice from behind, startling Harry.

 

He’d thought Louis was gone- working or whatever. He finished his mouthful more politely than before. Somehow, in this house, it felt like even eating messily was dirty somehow. He hated to imagine how he’d feel when Louis finally wanted to fuck him.

 

“It's amazing food, that’s why,” Harry said, then, “Can you please tell Emma that it’s okay to call me by my name instead of sir?”

 

Louis’ brows rose in surprise and he turned to his cook.

 

“Emma, you may use Harry’s name when addressing him,” he assured.

 

Emma smiled with a blush.

 

“I wasn’t sure…my contract states-”

 

“Yes, well,” Louis coughed to cut her off and Harry watched amusedly.

 

So they _all_ had contracts. How interesting. Was he supposed to be a part of the staff now? He wondered what his job title might be. Chief fuck? Head of Pleasure?

 

He smirked at his own imaginings.

 

“So, you said I could get something,” Harry ventured boldly.

 

Louis frowned, standing beside the breakfast table, leaning on it.

 

“Something?” Louis queried.

 

Harry flicked his eyes to Emma.

 

Louis looked her and frowned.

 

“Drugs,” Harry mouthed and Louis' face creased further.

 

“Coke!” Harry finally burst out with an annoyed sigh.

 

Louis straightened almost imperceptibly.

 

“I’ll arrange it,” he nodded, taking that as a command. Harry wondered who was in charge here, him or Louis? Since Louis hadn’t asked anything of him yet, he wondered if it were in fact him.

 

“What time do you need to leave for work?” Louis asked.

 

“Six,” Harry offered. “What do you do?” He asked.

 

Louis brightened at this question; an amused smile tugging at his lips. Harry had thought they were thin when they’d first met but he could see they were fuller than first impressions would have him believe. His stubble was still that enticing mess on his face; his hair messy but touchable. Too touchable. Harry didn’t do hair-touching. He fucked. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

“I work in stocks,” Louis shared. “Very lucrative.”

 

“Really, I couldn’t tell?” Harry sarked.

 

Louis ignored him.

 

“I have to go to the office,” he announced, somewhat unnecessarily since he was dressed in a sharp grey suit that matched his eyes.

 

Harry nodded. “Have fun.”

 

“Make yourself at home,” Louis extended. “Jake, my driver, will take you anywhere you want,” he added. “To get your things…”

 

Harry nodded.

 

Louis seemed to hesitate. Harry lifted his brows expectantly.

 

“I’d like to take you shopping,” he said, quickly and quietly like it was a sin to admit such a thing.

 

“Okay,” Harry agreed lazily, thinking he meant to a sex-shop to choose his weapon or toy.

 

“You dress perfectly, but maybe you’d let me,” he added, making Harry frown even harder.

 

Shopping for _clothes_?

 

“What about sex toys?” Harry blurted, making a face as Emma hurried from the room.

 

Louis gave Harry a patient look.

 

“You’ve just embarrassed her,” he scolded lightly.

 

Harry shrugged. “Guessed you had boys back here all the time.”

 

“No,” Louis said firmly with a swallow. “You’re the first.”

 

Harry tilted his head, again trying to guess Louis’ age. He couldn’t quite work up the courage to ask and really, he shouldn’t be caring anyway.

 

“When do you want to go shopping?” He wondered.

 

“Not yet,” was all he said in reply. “I have to go.” He added turning and disappearing from the room.

 

 

//

 

Harry took a ride with Jake back to his flat and packed a sports bag full of his clothes. He didn’t bother to chuck in his body wash or fragrance because he guessed Louis would dictate to him what he should be using to please him. He did grab his familiar toothbrush though, strangely fond of the cheap, worn plastic design. It was yellow and tacky but he didn’t care.

 

He may not have money like Louis, but he loved his toothbrush.

 

He wondered if he could score a hit before Louis found him the cocaine he’d asked for. He wasn’t sure how long he would take to come up with the goods and honestly- Harry expected an ass pounding in return for those drugs. He knew nothing came for free.

 

The line he consumed every night in the changing room was either courtesy of one of his admirers or sometimes Jack would bring him some, knowing he wouldn’t get through a performance without it.

 

Harry frowned at that. He _could_ get through a performance without it. He had in fact, several times before. Just some nights, he needed courage.

 

Once he’d collected his belongings and carted them back to Chez Louis (as he now fondly referred to Louis’ mansion), Harry got ready for work. He headed out, wondering if Louis would be in the audience tonight and wondering a little bit about his statement from last night, too.

 

_I came here especially to see you._

 

That made it sound like he had a penchant for men like Harry-maybe even a favouring for dancers-but whatever the kink; it didn’t sound good.

 

If he came out with a shopping list and somebody had found Harry for him; or even, if Louis had heard about him another way, that still made him prey. And he was still waiting for Louis to make his move in that regard so Harry could properly weigh up what he was getting himself into. It was as if Louis had sensed that when he’d presented him with a contract and expected Harry to sign it with no idea what he was letting himself in for.

 

He wondered if it included calling him sir.

 

//

 

The music was all-consuming. The lights were too bright; almost gaudy. Harry’s body contorted beautifully; shaping around the pole with muscled ease; his ever-so-slightly gaunt features jarring to Louis who watched him from below.

 

But still, Harry was his now. And he relaxed at that. None of these men would be taking Harry home tonight. Because _he_ was. And every night for as long as Harry permitted.

 

It was probably silly of him to mention that he had sought him out. Probably ridiculous to produce a contract. It was probably practical suicide to say Harry had a choice in what they did and Louis knew he’d given him the power by allowing that but he didn’t care.

 

Alright, Harry had ordered cocaine in the knowledge Louis would provide his every whim but Louis also got the sense that Harry was very smart. The guy knew what he was good at and he flaunted it.

 

His body was incredible; a long lean vision of controlled muscle and slightly-too-thin limbs. Louis was looking forward to that perfect white flesh filling out a little- just enough so that Harry didn’t look like he was starving himself to be here.

 

The lights were forgiving in that respect. Because his body could perform such beautiful, heroic arcs, dips and swirls, he could actually be forgiven anything. Even his deep mistrust and suspicious nature. Louis liked the sense of a challenge.

 

And although Harry had pretty much told him in his own words that he expected Louis to dominate him, to command him and order him about; that was so far from what Louis was about it almost made him laugh. Almost. His lips turned down sadly.

 

Harry was an exquisite sight to behold; a magnificent specimen, really. All eyes were on him and Louis could see him making this performance in another venue- on the strip at MGM; at Cirque de Soleil, even. Harry was breath-taking. His eyes hadn’t left him and they didn’t plan to. He happily watched the other men baying at the front of the stage, slipping notes into the strings by Harry’s hips. There was something inexplicably hot about watching him get tipped for his beauty, he realized.

 

He sat back and enjoyed the show.

 

//

 

Harry came out of the dressing room with his duffle bag across his chest and his jacket folded in his arms. It was warm tonight; he felt hot under the lights earlier and hadn’t been able to cool off in the shower.

 

His face was a little pink from where he’d bore light make up- some glitter and war-paint for his jungle-themed strip routine.

 

He didn’t know how Louis felt about him writhing around on a pole in just his pants, but Harry didn’t need to think about it as he came out into the cool evening air, his owner waiting patiently in the back of his chauffeur-driven car.

 

“Jake,” Harry grinned familiarly at the driver; clasping hands in a relaxed way.

 

“Sir,” Jake tipped his chin with a smirk.

 

Harry rolled his eyes, looking to Louis sat in the back seat.

 

“Louis, please tell him,” Harry sighed.

 

“Call him Harry,” Louis said to Jake.

 

Jake winked at Harry before he climbed in to drive.

 

“Where to?” Jake asked Louis.

 

Harry frowned. Weren’t they going home? To _Chez Louis_?

 

“The dock,” Louis answered and Harry couldn’t help but dart a look to him.

 

Whatever they’d lined up for him tonight to snort had him feeling edgy and paranoid.

 

“The dock?” He questioned.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“I have a boat.”

 

Harry didn’t have a response. At least not a polite one that made sense. And lest he forget, he was being paid. To be polite and to make sense. He really should steer off the lines, he mused belatedly.

 

“I have some coke there for you,” he added, tellingly.

 

Harry sucked in a breath.

 

 _Oh shit_. He probably got some good stuff, too. How was he meant to say no, now? Louis did tell him he should only do what he wanted? Did that include turning down snorting lines of coke after demanding it?

 

“I’ve had a bit tonight,” Harry swallowed heavily. He refused to be embarrassed about that fact.

 

Louis shrugged. “Then we’ll save it. I still want to go on the boat,” he clarified.

 

“Oh,” Harry nodded.

 

Really, after a show he was all kinds of tired. The most he could ever manage was a couple of hours of fucking before he passed out, dead to the world. He often slept with his mouth wide open; hugging pillows or sheets or anything in his reach; really. He’d managed to grasp a bedside lamp once and cuddle up with that. Hadn’t been pretty waking up with it, though…

 

“You don’t like boats?” Louis asked.

 

Harry shrugged. “Wouldn’t know.”

 

“You’ve never been on one?” Louis sounded surprised.

 

Harry was so grateful he didn’t gasp and exclaim over this. That would really piss him off.

 

“No,” he shook his head to punctuate his answer.

 

When they got there, Louis told Harry to wait while he got out. A few seconds later his door was being opened and Louis was offering his hand. Harry, by all rights, should have felt like a princess. Somehow-weirdly-he didn’t.

 

He took Louis’ hand and folded out slowly, almost shy of dwarfing his owner.

 

“I like tall,” Louis smiled up.

 

Harry shrugged in awkwardly. He liked a lot of things but he wasn’t sure he should define them because he was basically unable to choose his conquests, normally.

 

“What do you like?” Louis asked, prompting Harry to confront his inner musings as he took his hand to lead him toward the dock.

 

Harry frowned down, reminded that he didn’t do holding hands. He pretended he did for the sake of the gratuitous amount he was being paid to be here.

 

“I like guys,” Harry replied.

 

Louis laughed as they boarded a little motor-boat, not too showy but big enough. From underneath the boat, a captain appeared and Harry was hit with the knowledge that Louis always had people around him, always a staff-member, always someone watching, always chaperoning.

 

He wanted a night with Louis alone, just the two of them, facing the darkness of the night and the danger of their secrets.

 

He cleared his throat.

 

“You’re nice,” Harry offered as lightly as he could manage.

 

Really, Louis was _very_ nice. All slim and curvaceous and straight and all kinds of mysterious. He had thick, dark lashes and a pretty little mouth; a breath-taking handsomeness to his face and when he smiled- which wasn’t very often- well then Harry wondered how it was that Louis looked so damn lonely. His smile was worth a thousand admirers alone.

 

But he couldn’t think of him like that. He was just a client. Another daddy.

 

“You like guys like me?” Louis pushed as the boat pulled off and they sunk into two low seats at the back; admiring the night sky and the lights peppering the banks.

 

Harry nodded, just once.

 

“Tell me,” Louis husked and his voice had that silky quality to it again. The same as when Harry had tried to suck his finger and abysmally failed.

 

Louis had turned toward him; Harry was still looking away but tried to hitch around to join the conversation. He avoided Louis’ gaze.

 

“What do you want me to say?” Harry wondered.

 

For a moment, he felt all kinds of flustered. He’d never done this with a guy- told him what he found attractive. He wasn’t sure if Louis meant for him to talk about what he generally liked in a guy or what he liked in Louis specifically. They could be here all night if it were the latter.

 

“I want you to tell me what it is that you like in guys,” Louis clarified. “And since you think I’m like one of those guys, I’m intrigued…”

 

Harry wanted to answer his question with the truth. Gentility. He liked the way Louis seemed soft; but steely underneath, soft and hard all at once. Respect. He liked how Louis asked permission even though he didn’t need it, he liked that he hadn’t assumed anything here. Kindness. He liked how Louis brought him home, let his chef cook for him and offered him anything he wanted; all for the small return of his company. Harry felt Louis was getting a rotten deal for his money.

 

He didn’t tell the truth though; he answered the question exactly how he thought it should be answered.

 

“Small, nice ass, willing to top and bottom,” he supplied.

 

Louis reached over and caught up Harry’s hand with something that looked like an amused smile. He turned his palm upwards so Harry's lay atop his, where he began to stroke it, studying it and gliding his fingers over his soft skin experimentally.

 

“Anything else?” Louis asked.

 

Harry was having trouble concentrating. He felt like there was a million nerve endings alive in his hand right now and when Louis’ fingers ran over his finger tips in that way-

 

 _Oh_.

 

It felt like he had a line straight to his groin because the sensation was disturbingly erotic. Harry fidgeted, making to pull his hand away but he sucked in a breath, also wanting to see where Louis went with this.

 

He remembered he had a question to answer.

 

“Brown hair,” he added. “Nice smile…”

 

Louis leaned forward and his breath was warm against Harry’s hand. Harry actually jolted as Louis’ lips pressed to his now-incredibly-sensitive fingertips, one at a time.

 

His blue eyes peered at Harry even though his head was low. Harry imagined him looking at him under those dark lashes from being knelt, preferable before him, with his dick in his mouth. He swallowed. No, he didn’t get to have blowjobs he remembered bitterly. He just got to give them.

 

He sighed out, biting back a moan as Louis sucked on his fingertip.

 

“Tell me more,” Louis urged; his voice now sounding faint and hoarse, even to Harry’s ears. He wondered how one guy could get so ruined from sucking his fingertips but he followed Louis’ gaze to his lap and he realized he’d gotten hard, somehow.

 

His dick was his prized possession-probably the main reason hundreds came flocking from two cities over to see him swinging around a pole because even cupped in the safety of his thong; it was evident to all that he was blessed.

 

And Louis was watching his blessed body part strain against his jeans; sucking his fingertips as though he was sucking-

 

Harry did groan then, imagining Louis’ lovely soft lips over the head of his dick. Just small, little kisses; pressing him inside just an inch to tease. Harry sucked in a breath, trying to stop his body from advancing in this ridiculous arousal.

 

He wasn’t even being touched! Not there, at least. And he wanted to be, he realized. He wanted to be, so bad. He had a question, he didn’t know if he was allowed to ask it.

 

“Louis?” He panted voice husked and tight.

 

“Hmm?” Louis was now blowing his indexing finger, mouth up and down.

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

Louis pulled away; curled his fingers through Harry’s in a crazily juxtaposed sweetness.

 

“Alright,” Louis allowed, taking a breath and Harry wondered if he was nervous.

 

“When you said you’d only do things that I wanted to do…does that include to me?” He asked. “I mean if you want to fuck me and I want it too, I get that,” he said. “But if I want you to do something, how do I know if you want it?” he wondered. “And if I can ask?”

 

Louis eyes lit up with something that Harry couldn’t recognize.

 

“You can ask,” he instantly replied, then, “And I can promise you I’ll want it.”

 

“You don’t know what I might ask for,” Harry twinkled.

 

And he didn’t realise he was doing it because he was so out of practice, but his body was relaxing and his fingers felt comfortable threaded through Louis’ smaller ones which were warm and soft.

 

“I’ll want it,” Louis breathed and Harry swallowed, feeling just the tiniest bit creeped out.

 

“So if I asked you to suck my toes?” Harry plucked out of thin air as an example of something he could ask Louis to do.

 

“I’d do it,” Louis confirmed. “Now?” He checked.

 

Harry chuckled as he leaned forward, gently pushing against his shoulder.

 

“No, god, no, I was only joking,” he quickly explained.

 

Louis swallowed. He looked scared again. Harry didn’t know why.

 

“Anything else you want to ask for?” Louis wondered, eyeing his lap.

 

Harry was speechless, truly. Because he knew Louis would blow him if he asked him to and that was all kinds of fucked up. _He_ was the paid one here, the prostitute, the slut who gave blow jobs on command. Not Louis. Louis was his master, the one in charge. He shouldn’t be acting so _submissive_. And not that Harry did submissive particularly well but it was something he’d had to learn in his line of work.

 

He wanted to ask him to, though, he really did. His erection was pressing upwards now as if shouting ‘suck me suck me’ and Harry had to cup over that straining head with his other hand to block Louis’ gaze at it. It was just making him harder.

 

And although he had this opportunity- this fucking fantastic, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make Louis eat his dick; somehow he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to ask him because he knew Louis would do it. And he was on Louis’ page with the whole ‘let’s only do something because you want to’, thing. And he kind of didn’t doubt that Louis wanted to. But maybe not for the right reasons. And Harry didn’t know what the right reasons were, fuck, he didn’t usually need any reason to get sucked off, but fuck it if he didn’t want Louis to have a reason.

 

Other than playing sub.

 

“Is this your kink?” Harry asked finally. The boat had turned and was halfway back.

 

Louis licked his lips.

 

“Maybe.”

 

“You go to the seediest strip bar in all of Vegas to find me- the guy who looks like a girl- and you want me to dominate you?” He checked.

 

Louis didn’t answer. He went very quiet and stared out on the river-bank, as if mortified by Harry’s realization.

 

Harry curled his fingers deeper into Louis’ hand. He didn’t know what made him do it- reassurance, maybe? Sympathy?

 

Louis looked back to him.

 

“I don’t want you to dominate me,” Louis assured.

 

Harry felt there was more to that sentence but it didn’t come. If he was writing a movie-script, he would have added ‘I want you to love me’, but he wasn’t. He was a pole dancer on the back of a boat being paid to…being to what? Ask for a blow job?

 

“Then what do you want me to do?” Harry asked, not for the first time because he didn’t really get his job description _at all_.

 

Louis smiled, a plastic, empty smile and Harry was reminded of his sadness.

 

“I-I don’t know,” Louis finally admitted.

 

Harry nodded. Right. Well that was better than ‘I want you to fuck me while you’re being fucked’ or ‘I want to truss you up so you can’t move while I fuck your hole’, honestly; Harry had heard a lot worse than ‘I don’t know.’

 

“You’re gay, right?” Harry checked again, wondering if Louis was maybe confused, had maybe been lying before about his experience.

 

His mouth stretched into a wry smile.

 

“Right.”

 

So he didn’t know what else to do. He brought Louis’ hand to his mouth and licked his finger-tip, a small gesture of comfort or something, he wasn’t sure what.

 

Louis managed a weak smile and looked back out to the bank.

 

//

 

Harry’s second night was a lot easier than his first. He actually got to sleep and didn’t feel like a total wreck the next day. Probably because he laid off the whiskey this time.

 

The boat trip last night was a distant blur- a figment of his imagination he liked to think. Louis was eating when he came down the following morning.

 

“Hey,” Harry greeted casually first, running a hand through his long, curly hair. He was wearing boxer-briefs in a stunning shade of bright deep pink and a white vest his gay friend Frank had given him.

 

It was gratuitous, really. He didn’t know why he kept it but the words ‘Hot’n’heavy’ were printed in wide blue letters on the front and it had appealed to him. He wanted it to appeal to Louis, too.

 

Louis looked up and read the slogan, his cool expression flickering for a moment and then his mouth curved into a smile- a delighted smile if Harry wasn’t mistaking it.

 

“You wear that to bed?” He asked.

 

Harry gave his best crooked grin.

 

“You bet your ass I do…”

 

Louis nodded, impressed.

 

“Tea? Coffee?” He offered.

 

“Scotch?” Harry asked back.

 

He noticed the almost-imperceptible blink of Louis’ lashes to his cheeks- such long, lovely lashes he mused. He didn’t like Harry drinking- at least not at this hour.

 

“Joke,” he added with a sigh. No fun here, then.

 

Louis got up and got him his scotch. Harry drank it, slowly.

 

“What can I get you for breakfast, sir?” Emma asked, then blushed as Harry flicked her a scathing look. “I mean, Harry,” she adjusted.

 

“Some oatmeal would be awesome, thanks,” he requested, turning to Louis.

 

Louis lifted his brows.

 

“Why do you make them call you sir?” He wondered. “Your name is Louis. They all live in your house, work in your house, you see them more than your own family,” Harry guessed.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

“Emma?”

 

“Yes, sir?”

 

“You may call me Louis from now on,” he said.

 

Emma gaped for a moment, suddenly realizing how unprofessional she was being.

 

“O-okay si-erm…L-Louis,” she stammered.

 

Louis smiled pointedly at Harry in a smug gesture.

 

“Happy now?”

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“No,” he said, brave in his answer. He should have scotch for breakfast more often, he considered.

 

Louis looked intrigued.

 

“What else can I do to make you happy, Harry?” Louis wondered.

 

“Come out with me tonight, just the two of us. No staff,” he challenged.

 

Louis tensed up.

 

“No staff?” He checked.

 

“No car, no minders, no captains, no cooks- no offence Emma-" he added quickly.

 

Emma smiled shyly, pretending not to have heard.

 

“Just Harry and Louis,” Harry said.

 

Louis flicked him a look. He had that same expression on his face that he got sometimes- fearful, afraid, even.

 

“What’s the worst that can happen?” Harry asked.

 

“You spike my drink, have me beaten, steal my fortune and run away with a beautiful brunette,” Louis quipped, which considering his pro-face so far, Harry felt was something of an achievement.

 

“Excellent,” Harry grinned, and Louis wasn’t sure if he took that as an agreement or not, but it seemed like they were indeed going out tonight without any help from Louis’ team.

 

“I’ll see you after the show,” Louis slipped off his stool. He paused as he went to pass Harry and Harry wondered if he’d thought about kissing him.

 

It would be weird, since they hadn’t kissed yet, but still; this domestic set-up was making for all kinds of oddities.

 

Harry tucked into his oatmeal with gusto.

 

“Thanks, Em,” he appreciated warmly. “Hey, I couldn’t have some bacon and eggs after could I?” He asked.

 

Emma beamed and went about making his second breakfast.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much guys!!!!
> 
> Ang

** CHAPTER 3 **

 

Harry had been phenomenal tonight. Okay, maybe every night, Louis conceded. He couldn’t count the number of nights he had sat here, hiding in the crowd watching him before having the courage to ask to meet him.

 

He’d needed to form a plan in his mind, first, one that would work. Louis may be a brilliant stock manager but when it came to relationships- to wooing men, he didn’t fare quite so well.

 

That’s not to say he didn’t have his fair share of admirers; or folk to do a little more than admire with. But really, the day he’d seen Harry Styles he’d known he wanted him. In every sense of the word.

 

And technically, he could have him. His body was crying out with how unfair it was that he wasn’t having Harry. But his mind was made up. He’d only have Harry if Harry wanted him too.

 

And things on that front seemed positive. Harry had expressed that Louis was ‘his type’. He’d enjoyed his touches last night; he was becoming bold. Louis liked that. He also liked Harry’s acceptance, the way he sometimes asked questions and sometimes didn’t.

 

From watching the stunning looking boy command the pole; Louis had developed something of a deeper want. He wanted to know about him, his loves, his hates, why he never smiled except for when he wrapped his thighs around that tube of metal and fucked it with such conviction.

 

Harry was heading off-stage, his peachy butt showcased glaringly in his skimpy underwear. Louis was glad he didn’t go naked, completely. He knew Harry’s attraction was his impressive manhood stuffed into that pouch but he liked thinking only he’d be privy to that one day.

 

One day soon, he hoped.

 

//

 

Harry was holding Louis’ hand. It was a thought in the back of his mind as he strode through the streets determinedly, heading for his favourite club, tugging Louis behind him.

 

He’d put on jeans tonight with a thin navy t-shirt that had a crooked folded neckline and arms; giving it softness and edge simultaneously. Around his neck hung a silver chain; the pendant hidden below his neckline. He had pointed boots on his feet, walked in such a way that his ass swung from side to side in an almost effeminate way.

 

Louis was wearing his usual suit-tee shirt combination. His grey trousers tonight were particularly fitted; along with his black jacket- satin lapels and collar. His shirt was white, no collar, tight and crisp. His trousers came just before his ankles; bearing bare feet in brogues.

 

If he didn’t have dangerous lashes, intense eyes and just-fucked hair, he’d be a pretty little toy for Harry to tow around all night but Louis, he knew deep down, was made of stronger stuff.

 

He slowed his pace so Louis could catch up with his long strides and anyway, they were here.

 

“Styles,” the bouncer greeted him.

 

“Arnie,” Harry nodded, moving to head straight in.

 

“Entry fee,” Arnie said and Harry smiled tightly. He had hoped to get away without this, tonight.

 

He flicked a look to Louis, and then back to Arnie, cupping a hand around his neck to reach across and kiss him fully on the mouth; a thorough dueling of tongues that Harry felt awkward having Louis watching while he was still holding his hand.

 

Louis didn’t let go, though.

 

“Sorry,” Harry murmured as they were granted access inside.

 

Louis didn’t say anything so Harry led him to the bar where he finally gave up his hand.

 

It was dark there; womb-like. Red walls, heavy heat lying in the room, the faint smell of weed. The décor was aged; the feel hipster, but Louis felt a million miles from comfortable.

 

“Come on,” Harry shoved a glass in his hand; grabbed his other and led him further into the dark.

 

Louis felt his hand turn clammy and tried to tug it from Harry’s but his action just made Harry grasp it tighter, then he looked back as if realizing.

 

“Louis?” Harry said, flicking his eyes over his partner-in-crime.

 

Louis forced a smile. Harry could tell.

 

“Will you let me get us through this lot to show you why I like it here?” Harry asked.

 

Louis owed him that much, he thought. He nodded. Harry kept going.

 

Louis began to wonder how big this building actually was when Harry brought him through an empty doorway- empty not being something Louis expected to see here- and into a quieter room. There was a guy playing acoustic guitar back here, his raspy voice singing along in heavenly melody. The music was soft, edgy and…sexy.

 

Harry instantly beamed and gave the guitarist a thumbs-up.

 

The singer changed his songs to include a greeting.

 

“ _And I didn’t know- how could I know…_

_That Harry Styles would be here tonight_

_Hello…hello stranger…dance on my pole_

_Toniight?”_

 

Harry cackled loudly at the crude words and sank into one of the futon sofas, instantly reaching for the rolled cigarette that the singer wandered over and laid in front of him.

 

“Thanks, Mac!” His eyes lit up as he borrowed a lighter and puffed on the joint.

 

He looked to Louis, offering him a smoke.

 

“I’m okay, thanks,” Louis smiled tightly, sipping his drink.

 

“You need to relax,” Harry told him. “Have some.”

 

Louis met his gaze, showing his mistrust. It made Harry feel inexplicably at ease because he too bore a deep mistrust.

 

“I promise I won’t drug you and have you beaten,” he quipped.

 

Louis took the hand rolled cigarette and inhaled; blowing out smoke; inadvertently into Harry’s face.

 

“Sorry,” Louis frowned, hastening to pass it back.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“Take another drag… and blow it into my mouth,” he said.

 

Louis looked at him nervously, so Harry grinned.

 

“Want me to show you, first?”

 

Louis nodded and Harry took a drag, leaning toward Louis and placing his lips upon his, gently blowing out the smoke into Louis’ mouth which he sucked into his lungs and exhaled; equally slowly.

 

He felt kind of relaxed. Kind of warm and the tiniest bit fuzzy.

 

“Got it?” Harry checked.

 

Louis wanted to say no, he didn’t have it at all, just to feel Harry’s lips on his again. It wasn’t a kiss- Louis wanted it to be- but still, Harry's mouth was a sinful promise of sweet velvet and this may the stepping stone to finally tasting him.

 

Louis took the joint again, inhaling. He leaned across, placing his mouth to Harry's and blowing out. Harry breathed in; a happy smile on his face as the used smoke left his lungs.

 

“You’re getting the hang of it,” he commended.

 

He leaned back, his arm casual across the back of the seat. A drunk-looking guy plopped down next to Louis where there was no room at all and Louis subconsciously moved closer to Harry; glad of his arm, really.

 

Harry grinned at him, still puffing away, his arm curling around Louis’ shoulder protectively.

 

“Hey man!” He called across to the drunken guy. “Mind my stuff, yeah?”

 

The drunken guy got up and staggered off. Louis had a funny look on his face.

 

“Stuff?” He asked. “I’m stuff?”

 

Harry shrugged. “It’s urban slang,” he offered.

 

Louis frowned but didn’t say anything; instead he slugged back his drink and reached for Harry’s joint.

 

Harry passed it over with a giggle.

 

“Steady there, Louis,” he teased; still with an arm around him.

 

The guitar-player was taking a break. He came over towards Harry.

 

“Hey, you gonna sing tonight?” Mac asked.

 

Harry made a face.

 

“This is Louis,” he said instead of answering.

 

“Hi,” Mac greeted and Louis saluted him, still sucking on the joint.

 

Harry couldn’t help the laughter in his eyes.

 

“Go on, I’ve got a break, you know you want to,” Mac encouraged.

 

Harry fidgeted uncomfortably. Yes, he loved to sing and play. Yes, mostly in this club- in fact, only in this club or in the shower, usually. But did he want to let Louis see him doing that? It was a whole life away from his job and what Louis thought he was.

 

He looked over.

 

“Louis, would you mind?” He checked.

 

Louis smiled, handing Mac the joint.

 

“Go ahead,” he encouraged.

 

Harry stood and took Mac’s seat by the microphone, carefully adjusting it, hoping he wouldn’t forget the song lyrics in the haze of weed he’d just inhaled.

 

“This one’s for Louis,” he murmured into the mic, starting to strum.

 

_This time 'round how can I pretend_

_Th_ _at I'm not a bad bad man_

_Old haunts with new zeros_

_A fading view of adulthood_

_Swinging key parties_

_Well I hear it's a west coast thing_

_Don't play down your hopeless intrigue_

_Well not everyone's lawn_

_Gets mowed twice a week_

_What's that supposed to mean?_

_I_ _could be as faithful as a seahorse_

_And if you were a marine biologist_

_You'd know how tender that line was_

_Honey pick up on the bittersweet_

_The tragedy that's life's limbo stick '_

_Cause there's a tear jerker waiting in the wings_

_Well that's still no reason to be so devoid of feeling O_

_nce you were a trophy for me_

_And as luck would have it I a trophy for you_  
   


The song was by the band ‘The Brunettes’. Harry was ninety percent sure Louis wouldn’t have heard of them, or this song before. And actually, the song meant nothing it was just the fact the band were Louis’ hair colour that made him sing it. He segued into a second song; his nerves melting away as Louis watched him intently.

 

It may have been his imagination but he thought he saw Louis gazing at his mouth as he sang; and each breath he dragged into his lungs, pushing the words out only made him headier; lighter with ease. The music was in his veins, pumping around his body and it just had to get it out, sometimes it needed to escape. All the time, really.

 

His body twitched with the need to express, the urge to let out that sound; the melody wrap him up and fuck him slowly; he felt it, all through his body from deep in his ass to the tips of his nipples. He was probably getting hard in his jeans but he didn’t care; he just needed to expel this demon; to sing it out; to absolutely grind it into oblivion.

 

He sunk his head down as the song ended; laying down the guitar and standing with shaky unease.

 

He felt a hand cup his waist, another at his cheek, cool and soothing.

 

“You didn’t tell me you could sing,” came Louis’ lightly accusing tones.

 

Harry managed a lazy smile.

 

“I can’t.”

 

“I disagree,” he countered. “So does everyone in this room…”

 

Harry peered about. They were friends here, mostly, not that many of them remembered him. One guy on the couch had his hands down his pants, stroking. Harry wasn’t horrified- how could he be? He was numb to this, now- but he felt cheap, somehow, dirty.

 

He sighed.

 

“We can go now,” he told Louis.

 

Louis tilted his head but didn’t ask why. He just reached for his hand and led him out.

 

“Thank you,” Louis said as they waited in the chilly night air for a cab.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“You didn’t like it,” he guessed.

 

Louis regarded him. He shrugged out of his jacket and draped it across Harry’s shoulders. Harry hadn’t realized he’d been stood with his arms wrapped about himself.

 

“I loved it,” Louis assured.

 

“Not the smoking part,” Harry started on a tiny smirk.

 

“Only the part where I got to kiss you the smoke,” Louis offered with fond eyes.

 

Harry let his smile grow.

 

“That part was pretty good,” he agreed.

 

Louis lifted his brows, almost surprised at Harry’s words.

 

“You liked kissing me?” He checked.

 

Harry let his smile slip a notch toward filthy.

 

“Didn’t get to kiss you so I don’t really know…”

 

Louis gazed at him, blinking. He knew exactly what Harry was doing, Harry could tell. And he liked it. He liked that because he was goading Louis to kiss him that he would. And even if he didn’t, he was going to kiss him, anyway so what did it even matter. The point was that-

 

The point was….

 

What was the fucking point? He didn’t even know anymore. All he knew was that Louis had tipped up onto the front of his feet to reach his mouth and pressed his lips upon his; cupping his face so delicately with one had while his other grasped his waist lightly.

 

Harry hadn’t ever kissed like this before, not like this was a first kiss in school with his fourteen year old boyfriend. It was slow and sweet and…Harry groaned; wrapping him close. Tender. So fucking tender he just wanted to stick his tongue in Louis’ mouth and fuck the warm wetness inside with it, but he couldn’t. The magic of the moment was far too gentle to ruin it in such a gaudy way.

 

He thought he might actually be going insane.

 

Louis pulled away as the taxi pulled up and even though Harry looked into his beautiful blue eyes and saw conflict, he still didn’t get why. He let Louis take his hand and lead him to the car, not sure his brain or his limbs would work.

 

It wasn’t until he’d settled down in the back seat that Harry realized.

 

Louis had called a cab.

 

As though they were out on his date with no driver and no staff to beckon. He’d remembered. He’d remembered Harry’s request for ‘no staff’ and he’d called a cab because of it.

 

Suddenly the relaxing marijuana and insanest best-kiss mixed up in his head and made him grin goofily with a little girlish giggle.

 

“Harry?” Louis looked over.

 

Harry flicked his eyes sideways to him.

 

“Nothing,” he assured, still grinning. _Nothing at all_.

 

//

 

 

Boy, morning didn’t look so great, though.

 

Harry woke up with a drowsy weirdness and checked two things.

 

One, he was in his own bed- check.

 

Two, he had all his clothes on-check.

 

Well, boxers and his navy tee but that would do.

 

He crashed back down, regretting again his mixture of narcotics and alcohol, knowing he’d need the same cocktail to survive another night on stage.

 

He got up and showered; whistling as he headed through the upper floor of the house; a small towel clutched over his dick out of modesty in case he came across the maid, but what he didn’t expect to come across was Louis.

 

He was evidently working from home because he was wearing grey jog pants, a black t-shirt and a pair of glasses.

 

Harry’s throat seemed to go dry and his whistle evaporated. He relaxed his pursed lips into a press-lipped smirk.

 

“Hey,” he said.

 

“Hi,” Louis greeted, a little more relaxed than usual in his words.

 

Harry hopped from foot to foot. He had no reason to be embarrassed; he knew his body was great. He knew in fact, that Louis had seen every part of his body that was now exposed. Maybe not this close up, but still…he had no reason to be hot-footing around Louis.

 

Only, he did. Louis was unbelievably gorgeous in his soft clothes and work glasses. Harry recalled their kiss vividly. Wondered if there would be more. Wondered if they needed weed blow-back to instigate a repeat.

 

“Emma will cook anytime you want breakfast,” Louis offered into the silence.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“Thanks,” he said low and husky.

 

Louis nodded, as if to dismiss himself. Harry felt his shoulders sag. This arrangement was all kinds of weird but last night he’d felt like he and Louis could actually be _friends_. Which was all kinds of weird in itself because Harry didn’t fuck his friends but well- he’d give Louis a pass on that because really, since they hadn’t slept together that first night, it made things incredibly awkward now to just jump into bed together.

 

Harry didn’t do awkward.

 

He did brunettes, lithe ones, sometimes in their mouth if they let him but mostly, he did as he was told. Got on all fours and took it. He sighed.

 

Louis likened it to the sigh he’d given out the night previous when he’d seen the guy wanking himself to Harry’s singing. He wanted to reach up and cup his face again but that led to all kinds of trouble, he reasoned. Trouble that included kissing. He wasn’t meant to be kissing Harry. Not yet. It was far too soon. They had much more getting to know each other to do; far more awkwardness to wade through.

 

He wondered if Harry could bear the wait.

 

“Maybe we could have lunch,” Louis said after he’d walked away, before Harry had turned toward his room.

 

Harry nodded, long hair limp and wet around his face.

 

Louis nodded, too and went on his way.

 

//

 

Harry was making lunch with Emma.

 

The easy option of course would have been to let Emma make their lunch, call them in and they sit in awkward- or stilted- silence while they ate.

 

Harry so wasn’t down for that. He’d decided to take charge of this strangeness that surrounded _Chez_ _Louis_ and by that token, he’d decided to have a heavy hand in the lunch arrangements.

 

He chose to do a picnic basket, picked the sandwich fillings; decided on the extras to go in. He’d let Emma choose a wine- a fluffy white, she’d said- and he’d even baked brownies under Emma’s watchful eye.

 

Harry felt a million miles from his pole as he lifted his picnic basket with a proud smile when Louis came into the kitchen.

 

“I made us a pic-nic!” he sang gleefully.

 

Louis eyed him.

 

“Have you had scotch?” He asked suspiciously.

 

“No,” Harry frowned, a cute protruding of his lower lip occuring.

 

“Smoke?” Louis checked next.

 

Harry squinted, heading for the patio door.

 

“Just hurry up,” he sighed.

 

Louis followed him, shooting Emma a look. She smiled warmly and so Louis went.

 

//

 

“Perfect spot!” Harry flapped out a blanket and laid it on the grass in the orchard.

 

“I have benches,” Louis pointed out.

 

“Take your shoes off,” Harry instructed of Louis’ gym shoes.

 

Louis untied the laces and slipped them off.

 

“Get off the blanket and wriggle your toes in the grass…”

 

Louis looked at him. Harry lifted his brows expectantly.

 

Louis sighed and did as he asked. He felt his body soften a little.

 

“Okay, now you can sit down,” he allowed, crossing his legs as he sat.

 

Louis watched him unpack his hamper like a kid at Christmas and marveled at it. If it wasn’t scotch or weed, then he didn’t know what influence had brought Harry to be so unguarded today. This morning he’d seemed so tense and self conscious, not something Louis expected of the tall god-like man before him.

 

“…and pickles…and wine…oh! And I made brownies,” Harry set the food out as Louis went to unwrap the wine, popping the cork and pouring them a glass each.

 

“Would you like to make a toast?” He asked.

 

Harry smirked.

 

“To blow-backs,” he said.

 

Louis choked. “To blow-backs,” he repeated with an arch of his brow.

 

They sipped down the cool, bubbly liquid and Harry started in on his sandwiches with big, messy bites and loud appreciative groans. They were different than the sound he made last night, Louis measured. Far more boyish and controlled.

 

He was still getting over the groan Harry had let out while they’d kissed- all soft and slow and amazing.

 

“I’ll pick you up from work?” He checked.

 

Harry looked at him, finishing his mouthful.

 

“You look nice like that,” he said.

 

Louis swallowed his mouthful rather heavily, trying not to choke. He failed.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“All soft and-” Harry hesitated.

 

“And?” Louis prompted.

 

“Young,” he said, then.

 

Louis smiled wryly. “You’re only twenty, right?”

 

Harry nodded.

 

“I’m thirty-two, in case you wondered,” he supplied.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“Had older.”

 

“How old?” Louis asked keenly, softly.

 

Harry bit his lip.

 

“Fifty-six.”

 

Louis’ brows rose. He couldn’t forget, of course, how many men Harry had had before he’d gone into the club that night. But hearing about it was different than _knowing_ about it. He wondered if it was a good idea to keep asking questions.

 

“Anyone younger than you?” He wondered.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“Never?” Louis asked.

 

Harry smiled, bashful. “Okay, once. When I was nineteen this thirteen year old begged me to kiss him. It was educational,” he added quickly.

 

“For who?” Louis teased.

 

Harry laughed.

 

“Definitely me! If I knew thirteen year olds could kiss like that…fuck, I’d never have done it…” He recounted sagely.

 

“What did he kiss like?” Louis enquired, pulling off bread, eating it as nonchalantly as he could manage.

 

Harry pondered his words.

 

“Wet…warm…kinda messy but-but he was enthusiastic,” Harry remembered. “Like, it didn’t matter how much saliva he got on the outside of my mouth because he was fucking loving it- little sounds and whines…” he shook his head in fond memory.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“What was your first kiss like?” Harry asked back.

 

“That was your first kiss?” Louis asked back.

 

Harry shook his head. “No, his,” he amended.

 

“Oh,” Louis nodded. “Mine was awful.” He added.

 

“Come on, I told you my embarrassing stuff,” Harry urged.

 

 _Really_ , Louis thought? Too much saliva was embarrassing?

 

“I was ten. It was the boy next door. We were on the swings just looking at each other and then I went for it, pressed my lips to his. He bit my lip so hard it bled and thumped me in the nuts,” Louis recalled.

 

Harry gasped.

 

“Worst day of my life,” Louis added.

 

“Why?” Harry wondered. He’d faced rejection, he’d faced violence for being gay, he wouldn’t ever think of those days as his worst. His strongest maybe, for rising from the ashes.

 

“Because he never spoke to me again,” Louis shared.

 

Harry could suddenly see where Louis’ sadness came from. It came from losing people. Harry honestly didn’t know how it felt to lose his best friend because he didn’t have one. And it would stay that way so that he never knew how it felt to lose somebody like that.

 

“Asshole,” Harry muttered anyway, for good measure.

 

Louis flicked him a look. His face grew soft and the light brightened in his eyes.

 

“Can I try a brownie, then?” He asked shyly.

 

Harry handed him the whole box and gazed; drinking in Louis’ happy face. He watched as he bit into the sticky-soft dough and closed his eyes in bliss.

 

“Wow, amazing,” Louis nodded; opening his eyes to find Harry’s green gaze on him. He licked his lips self consciously.

 

“Is it all over my face?” He asked.

 

“No, but I want to be,” Harry muttered under his breath, shoving a whole brownie into his mouth in the vain attempt to stop himself reacting to the sight of Louis’ enjoying his baking.

 

Louis swallowed his brownie very deliberately.

 

“You want to come on my face?” He said.

 

If it wasn’t so serious, so soft and earnest, Harry would have laughed at those words in the warm summer afternoon, so candid and real.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“Never allowed to,” he sulked lightly.

 

“Never?” Louis frowned.

 

Harry shook his head, not wanting to talk about this, really but then he kind of _had_ to talk about so that Louis knew what he wanted. And they all knew how Louis only wanted to do things Harry wanted to do. Not that he was bound by a contract or anything. But still, this information was important to Louis so Harry tried to find the words.

 

“I’m sub, mostly,” he gave in with a sigh.

 

Louis sipped some of his wine.

 

“We can do that,” he said, so calmly, as though they were planning a day out and this was one of the activities that would be included.

 

“Now?” Harry frowned, amused.

 

Louis smiled. “Maybe when the mood is right?”

 

Harry nodded. Of course. _When the mood is right_. He had to learn this shit. Where he came from the mood was right all the time. At a click of fingers he could be expected to be hard, to be taking it, to be serving oral on his knees. He wasn’t used to waiting- to be made to wait. But for his own welfare, really. To not just be on demand to toss himself off and decorate Louis’ beautiful face with his load, but to do it when the _mood was right_.

 

“Okay,” he agreed.

 

“Do you miss having sex every night?” Louis asked then, genuinely intrigued.

 

Harry smirked. He’d been getting himself off every morning before getting out of bed. So no, he wasn’t missing sex all that much.

 

“Never got to put it in that much,” he countered crudely. He knew his words were jarring for Louis, he saw the other man wince and cringe at them. But what was the point in sugar-coating the truth?

 

“I see,” Louis said carefully.

 

“Don’t tell me, I can do that too?” He guessed, teasing really.

 

“Please,” Louis said his voice gruff and low with something. Maybe need, Harry couldn’t tell.

 

Harry was stunned. Of course, they’d already talked about this, about both ‘having a go’. But he felt all kinds of horny now and wanted to ravage Louis here in this little clearing.

 

Luckily for him then, that a maid came running out.

 

“Sir, sir, there’s an important call for you,” Sarah panted.

 

“Call me Louis, please, Sarah,” Louis said as he stood, brushing off imaginary dust before turning back to Harry.

 

“See you tonight,” he said, and it sounded like a promise.

 

//

 

 

 

Harry was a little high on coke. He didn’t know why he’d taken four lines tonight, really. He only needed one and four could get him deeply into an addiction he really had no inclination to fight.

 

His eyes were glassy, his body languid and his brain all but vacant.

 

When Louis picked him up, Harry knew he’d already have noticed his strange behavior. Even though his performance was flawless, Louis knew him, now. And it reminded Harry why he lived alone, slept alone, was alone. Because nobody at the club cared if he puked his lungs up backstage or drank the bar dry- as long as he got on that stage and did his thing, then they were happy.

 

Harry knew Louis wouldn’t settle for that, though.

 

As he approached the car in zombie-mode, he braced himself for reprimand. He slipped into the seat beside Louis.

 

“Harry?”

 

“Don’t ask,” Harry sighed.

 

“I want to,” Louis admitted, brushing hack his hair with a gentle hand.

 

Everything was so gentle! So calculated, so precise! Harry just wanted Louis to grab him and crush him against the window of this car; rip down his jeans, force his legs apart and sink into him, rough and unlubricated.

 

Did he really want that, he considered after? No. He shook his head, the action causing Louis to scoot over; putting an arm around his shoulders and what Harry thought was placing a kiss to his temple.

 

He figured he was tripping and his mind imagined that.

 

Louis got him home. He brought a large glass of water to his bedroom and sat on the bed while he drank it. He waited while Harry sat in stupefied silence; helping him to the toilet when he needed to pee. Not that he needed it, but Harry appreciated the company.

 

He curled up on the bed; seeing Louis hovering.

 

“Here,” Harry patted the space behind him, giving Louis permission to stay.

 

Louis slipped in beside him; cuddling into his back. It felt nice. Too nice, really. Too nice for a coke-head who couldn’t start breakfast without a scotch.

 

“What happened?” Louis asked gently, rubbing his arm.

 

“Too much coke,” Harry admitted straight-up. No use lying. Louis should know his whole, ugly truth.

 

He heard Louis’ sigh and matched it to the sadness he often exposed. He wondered why Louis was so damn sad all the time. Guy his age with his wealth should be living it up in Monte Carlo with models galore.

 

“Louis?” Harry husked into the dark.

 

“Hm?”

 

“What do you like?” He asked.

 

“What do you mean?” Louis asked back.

 

“In a guy…what do you like?”

 

It took Louis back to the day he’d asked Harry about his preferences. When they were on the boat.

 

“Told you, tall,” he answered sleepily.

 

“What else?” Harry wondered.

 

Louis hummed, thinking on his answer. He grazed his fingers through Harry’s hair.

 

“Long, curly hair- it has to be dark,” he described, like one would tell a story from a book. “Pale skin, nice-looking…oh dimples,” he sighed. “He has to have dimples…”

 

“Anything else?” Harry asked lazily.

 

“If he’s a good dancer and can sing, it’s a tremendous bonus,” Louis stated boldly.

 

Harry felt himself grin in that stupid little-boy way he did when he was drunk or giggly or-

 

 _Oh Jesus_.

 

When he _liked_ a guy.

 

Now, the idea that he _liked_ Louis was so preposterous that he found himself stifling a whole can of crazy over it. If he let that humour out, he’d go to the loony bin for sure. So of course, he knew it wasn’t possible to like a client because that never happened. Never. He never let it. It was impossible. And he wasn’t drunk. So he must just be giggly then. Yes, that was it.

 

“Sounds like someone I know,” Harry murmured; on the edges of sleep.

 

He wasn’t sure how he’d got there. Someone was weighing him down nicely, keeping his feet on the ground where his body and mind took off.

 

“I hope so,” he heard Louis reply before he finally fell asleep.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It makes me so happy that you are enjoying this!
> 
> Ang

** CHAPTER 4 **

 

Harry had to get out.

 

He’d managed somehow (he still wasn’t quite sure how) to scale the gates of Louis’ fortress and escape the confines of his home.

 

By rights he should be a little hungover from the night before, but he shoved his hands into his tight jeans pockets and walked quickly, his ass swinging side to side in that way it did.

 

It was still early. Earlier than Harry had ever been awake before. But it wasn’t the hour that really bothered him. It was more to do with waking up _not alone_ in bed.

 

And not just _not alone_. But in someone’s arms. Louis’ arms to be precise. Louis’ tight, protective, gentle, sexy arms.

 

Fuck, he had sexy arms.

 

Harry sucked in air, hoping for this natural drug of oxygen to give him what he needed right now- clarity and a fucking smack around the face. He slapped his own cheek for good measure.

 

He headed back to his flat, his safe, familiar flat where he could be alone and not with anyone.

 

Especially not with Louis.

 

And his fucking sexy arms.

 

//

 

Harry woke in the late afternoon; barely having time to eat before he left the flat for work. He managed to grab a banana and chomped it down obscenely while he walked. One of his friends made a lewd gesture as he passed them, flipping them the bird.

 

Inside the club, he felt more relaxed. He passed up the line on his dressing table and got ready for the show. Inside, his body felt like a jiggling mass of live-wires, all haywire and ridiculous.

 

He should take the line and calm that squiggliness but something in him felt like rebelling.

 

His show was on point as always. He felt accomplished afterwards. A guy ran up to the stage as he walked off; Zayn blocking him expertly from reaching Harry.

 

Harry turned, eyeing the young man. He was all of eighteen, probably in here illegally, actually, probably a little younger than Harry’s guess.

 

He flicked Zayn a look.

 

Zayn lifted his brows in silent question.

 

“Let him back,” Harry said, walking the rest of the way to his changing room.

 

Yes, he knew what he was doing. The young man was let into his room and Harry sat on his sofa, beckoning the boy down. The kid made no pretense of manners and straddled his lap, quickly attaching his lips to Harry’s in a deep, hard kiss that Harry returned; sinking his fingers into that soft brown hair and tugging; darting his tongue into his mouth.

 

He writhed; so did the boy and names didn’t matter here. Preferences didn’t matter. Harry just needed to get back to what he was, what he knew. And that didn’t involve sharing his bed and cuddling.

 

It involved hot, meaningless kisses and hard, even more meaningless sex.

 

And he was sure he would get it tonight. He lifted his hips, the boy in his arms lifted with him as he dragged the side of his thong down, over his hips. He quickly kicked it away, hands going to the guy’s zipper as their mouths mated furiously.

 

Somewhere between getting his zipper down and the kisses changing from mouth to neck; a thought entered Harry’s mind that he tried to shake free. He wrapped his hand around fresh, hard dick and stroked; opening his mouth to give the kid what he wanted- a view inside his wet, pink mouth. They were kissing again as Harry’s mind betrayed him once more.

 

 _He’s waiting_ , his mind reminded.

 

“Shut up,” he sighed, ripping his mouth from the brunette’s.

 

“Huh?” The guy panted.

 

“Not you,” Harry clarified, kissing his neck, biting his neck-fuck it, why not? He could really go to town here and nobody would know.

 

 _Louis would know_ , his subconscious needled.

 

“Fuck!” Harry swore, pushing the kid right off his lap and onto the floor where he fell with a thud.

 

His eyes lit up, though, thinking this was part of the game. Harry stood, naked and blatantly unaroused. Jesus Christ, he couldn’t even get a hard-on with a willing boy in his lap, this was worse than he thought. Why he hadn’t done that coke, he groaned in belated regret.

 

“Get out,” Harry said, hands to hips.

 

There was a little bit of flesh there, he ran his fingers across it soothingly. He liked his hands- how they were big and strong and capable. Some said they were gentle but there was that word again. Louis’ word, the word that Louis animated in just being.

 

Harry decided he hated that word.

 

The boy scrabbled off the floor and darted out of the room, leaving Harry to sink his head down and sigh. He was all kinds of fucked up and he didn’t know how to change that.

 

Apparently, Louis also knew how many kinds of fucked up he was because although Jake was there when Harry came out of the club- a lot later than usual-Louis wasn’t in the car.

 

He approached Jake.

 

“Am I in trouble?” He wondered.

 

Jake shrugged.

 

“You’re not allowed to say?” Harry guessed.

 

“No,” Jake confirmed.

 

“Please?” Harry begged.

 

He didn’t know why he was begging. Really, this was his life and he could do what he wanted. Including fucking little boys in his dressing room before going back to his owner. He briefly wondered if that was maybe in the contract somewhere, that if Louis was buying his time that he wasn’t paying for him to fuck other guys with it, but still. Harry felt a belligerent need to get back to some kind of normal.

 

He folded himself into the car when Jake didn’t answer and he let the chauffeur drive him home.

 

//

 

 _Chez Louis_ already felt like home, he realized belatedly. How fucking ironic.

 

He came into the house like an insolent teenager; making his steady way towards the liquor cabinet he knew Louis had in the kitchen and he quickly poured himself a couple of measures of rum.

 

He looked across the kitchen and saw a silver packet laid on the table and he knew right away what it was. His cocaine.

 

Fuck it, why not? He smirked to himself as he hunkered down, quickly and expertly cutting a line; closing one nostril to suck it up through the other, fast and clean and…

 

 _Oh fuck, yeah_. Sexy.

 

Okay, not sexy, he amended as blood dripped from his nostril. Not sexy at all. But a side effect of the lifestyle, he mused as he rose, pressing the back of his finger to his bleeding nose; heading upstairs to his room to make use of his en-suite.

 

The bastard thing wouldn’t stop gushing and he was about to lose his buzz from it. He grabbed a ream of toilet paper and went and sat on the bed, head back, a little dizzy and scared.

 

He liked being alone, but what if he bled to death? What if no-one found his lifeless body for days? In _Chez Louis_ , he’d be found at the very least, the following morning. But he had a feeling the maids worked overnight here, too because he often heard footsteps in the hallway at ridiculous hours.

 

Eventually, he fell back on the bed; cloud of tissue still in his hand. He regretted that idea when he began to choke on the blood dripping down his throat, though. He rolled over, feeling sorry for himself.

 

“You got home okay, then?” Louis’ voice sounded in the hallway.

 

It sounded distant and Harry wondered why he hadn’t pushed his already-ajar door further open.

 

He made a noise of agreement.

 

“Good fuck was he?” Louis enquired coldly.

 

Harry closed his eyes. _Oh god, what a mistake_. What had he done? He and Louis were just starting to be friends, too and now he’d ruined it. He reminded himself this was why he didn’t have friends. Because he was a slut.

 

He couldn’t answer, was too wrapped up in trying to find a part of his tissue that wasn’t already soaked in blood. There was quiet, then Harry heard his door push open.

 

“Harry?”

 

Harry blinked, prone on the bed, flicking his eyes lazily over to Louis where he could barely focus. This shit was good, Harry realized. Far purer than anything he usually had the grace to inhale. Only now his body didn’t know quite what to do with it.

 

“Harry, are you okay?” Louis gasped, hastening in and kneeling on the bed beside him, pulling away the tissue to see the trickle of blood fall to the mattress. “What have you done?”

 

Harry blinked, still trapped in his own body, unable to communicate his thoughts. _Get help_. No, don’t get help, let him bleed away. He didn’t deserve Louis’ help. He didn’t deserve sympathy or kindness or any of the amazing qualities Louis’ kept bestowing him with.

 

Louis was off the bed and on the phone. Harry wasn’t sure how much later; but a doctor came and applied ice to his nose and made him suck a cube of it, too until the bleeding stopped. He also took a pill he was given and drank a lot of water. The maid kept bringing it so Harry kept glugging it down, glassy-eyed, green turned to muddy embers.

 

He faintly recalled laying back; not bleeding anymore. He vaguely remembered blinking into Louis’ worried blue-grey gaze before his eyes closed tiredly. He definitely recollected the tender brush of Louis’ hand across his forehead, the way he stroked his hair. He was sure he had turned his face into Louis’ palm as it curved on his cheek.

 

One thought came into his mind as he fell asleep.

 

_Harry Styles, 20, drug user and slut._

 

//

 

The following morning broke slow and heavy. It was like the sun was weighing down the dampness and heating up the state with sauna-like quality and Harry woke feeling heavy and hot.

 

His skin was sweaty, he smelled of stale sweat and his hair, he was sure, was ruined.

 

He took a look down his body, realizing he was naked and his dick was grasped in his hand. The dried flakes of come sat on his thighs and he wondered what the hell had happened last night.

 

He slowly moved to the shower, washing away the nastiness although his overwhelming feeling of remorse wasn’t so easily dispensed of.

 

In all the years he’d been doing this, he’d never felt ashamed. Today was a first.

 

He got dressed equally sluggishly, putting off the inevitable somewhat. He really didn’t want to face Louis, to face what he’d done and to face this coming to an end. Because he was pretty sure that’s what was going happen today.

 

He knew Louis wouldn’t put up with a guy trying to fuck someone else followed by a cocaine nose-bleed all over his bed. Not when he was paying them, at least. He didn’t know what he meant to Louis, exactly, what his place was here. But he was sure it didn’t include pissing all over his hospitality.

 

He rubbed his lips together as he came into the kitchen in long shorts and a white t-shirt. He threw his fringe back- clean and annoyingly fluffy. He bit his lip as he sat next to Louis on a bar stool by the counter. He sighed, not knowing if words were enough.

 

“I’d like you to set some rules,” Louis greeted, surprising him.

 

Harry let out an amused chuck of breath.

 

“What?”

 

“Rules,” Louis repeated, twisting in his seat. “We talked about that when we met,” he added.

 

Harry frowned confusedly at him, distracted briefly by Emma asking what he’d like for breakfast (he figured nothing but tea and toast would be acceptable under the circumstances).

 

“Aren’t you mad?” Harry asked, perhaps the most unguarded he’d been since coming here.

 

Louis’ brows rose and he looked shocked.

 

“No.”

 

Harry tilted his head, studying the older man’s face. He couldn’t quite meet his eyes; his features looked drawn-almost gaunt. There was no light in his eyes, no hint of softness in his face. Harry began to realise the severity of his actions. Louis, too, had thought he was capable of more. He’d failed him and hurt him, he recognized. How the hell he’d managed to make Louis care about him enough that he’d actually be hurt by his actions, he didn’t know.

 

Harry swallowed.

 

“You don’t have to pay me for yesterday,” he said. “I broke the contract.”

 

Louis flicked him a look.

 

“We agreed to no contract.”

 

“That doesn’t make it okay,” Harry smirked knowingly. All too knowingly. “I was a prick and you didn’t deserve that.”

 

“Are you sorry?” Louis asked, then.

 

Harry met his gaze, held it.

 

“Fuck, yeah,” he nodded solemnly.

 

“Then say it,” Louis encouraged.

 

Say it and what? Be forgiven? Like kissing other guys and almost bleeding to death didn’t matter. Well, he’d give it a try…

 

“I’m sorry,” he breathed.

 

Louis nodded once.

 

“And thank you,” he added quickly, quietly. “For getting the doctor and putting me to bed…”

 

Louis blinked, his long lashes hitting his cheeks. Harry felt him slipping away and he didn’t know what to do. Something inside him hurt and he didn’t know what made him do it, but he snaked his hand out and grabbed Louis’ that lay on his thigh.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said again, emphatically. “Thank you.”

 

Louis turned their hands, curling his fingers through Harry’s; almost to test if he’d let him. He did.

 

“Are you okay?” Louis asked huskily, swallowing, giving away his concern.

 

Harry nodded, lifting Louis’ hand to kiss the back of it; another attempt to ingratiate himself.

 

“Will you make some rules?” Louis asked next.

 

Harry peered at him under his curly lashes; his fringe having fallen back toward his face.

 

“You don’t want to kick me out?” He wondered.

 

Louis shook his head.

 

“Buy another, better-behaved little slut?” Harry arched.

 

Louis jerked at his frank term, sighed out.

 

“Did you fuck him?” He asked.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“You’re not a slut then, are you?” He pointed out.

 

“No, but you have every right to be mad and end this,” Harry countered. “I’m sure you can find some other pole-dancing twink to fulfill your fantasies…”

 

“I don’t want to end this.” Louis clarified succinctly. “Or find someone else.”

 

Harry regarded him.

 

“Alright,” he agreed with a sigh, eating his toast with slow care. Every bite felt like it was breaking his teeth. He belatedly wondered why he selected toast.

 

“So, rules,” Louis pushed again.

 

Harry licked his lips.

 

“No other guys,” he supplied with a guess.

 

“Only if you want,” Louis assured.

 

Harry squinted at him. “Don’t _you_ want? Or do you want me to fuck other men while you watch? Or maybe _you_ want to fuck other men, but still, you can ask me not to since you’re in charge.”

 

Louis cleared his throat, unsure how to reply to this overload of candidness that Harry hurled at him. He was still getting over the sight of him curled in bed; bleeding heavily and drowsy from drugs.

 

“I don’t want either of us to fuck other men,” he supplied honestly.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“And if possible, keep the kissing to a minimum…” Louis added quickly.

 

“Okay,” Harry agreed. “I want that as a rule.” He confirmed, since Louis wanted him to set the bar here. He liked that there was a discussion about it, though.

 

“What else?” Louis asked, as though he were the employee.

 

“Sometimes I need to sleep in my own bed,” Harry offered.

 

Louis’ lips pinched together.

 

“Alright,” he allowed slowly, like he wasn’t happy but he was agreeing to fulfill Harry’s wishes.

 

“I can make sure I let you know if I’m doing that,” Harry added.

 

Louis’ eyes flicked up, all intense and beautiful, caged by thick, dangerous lashes.

 

“Please,” he breathed.

 

Harry blinked. Had Louis been _worrying_ about him?

 

“I’m not sure what else,” he shrugged.

 

“That’s enough,” Louis assured, standing, sliding his hand from Harry’s.

 

“Wait…” Harry called softly as Louis headed for the doorway.

 

He turned, his brows lifted hopefully.

 

“I’d like you to take me shopping,” Harry added as an afterthought.

 

Louis’ smile was worth the words.

 

//

 

Harry performed that night completely clean. No coke, no spirits, nothing but him, his talent and his adrenaline. It was still addictive, still mercifully painful and incredible throwing himself around the pole; easing up it, bucking down it.

 

The crowd loved the way he made love to that pole every night; the way his body writhed and curled and contorted. He was sure it gave his audience an idea of the shapes he could be bent into; the domination they could create over him.

 

Still. As he headed out in his jeans and tee; he never felt the same power dressed. Although seeing Louis sitting there, in the back of the car, waiting patiently told him there was at least one person out there willing to wait for him.

 

He wasn’t sure exactly what Louis was waiting for; sometimes it hurt his brain thinking about it so he mostly chose not to. If the guy was happy to hand out the money he was choosing to do so, then Harry would have to be happy with that too. Although he still felt far more comfortable having sex than having friendship.

 

“You did great,” Louis told him as he slid into the car after his usual fond greeting with Jake.

 

“Thanks,” Harry said.

 

“We never got to dance,” Louis said then.

 

“Huh?” Harry frowned.

 

“When we went out. We left before we had the chance to dance…”

 

“Oh,” Harry bit into his lip, not realizing Louis had been looking forward to a dance or he might’ve tried to stick the club a little longer after his emotionally draining performance with the guitar.

 

“Fancy it?” Louis asked.

 

Harry nodded.

 

They didn’t go back to his club, the womb of fury as Harry liked to call it. They went to this quiet little den off the strip; near to Louis’ house ( _Chez Louis_ ) and kind of not amazing in any way. It still surprised Harry that Louis chose the lesser things in life- his boat, no helicopter. He knew he could afford much more. And he knew of many better places than this little haunt but actually, it was beautiful.

 

He didn’t like how he was suddenly appreciating his surroundings and the effort Louis was going to bring him to them, but he disregarded his cynicism and enjoyed the meal he ordered.

 

He didn’t usually eat after a show, but he was hungry. He’d missed a few meals the day before and he needed to catch up. He wanted to get fat on Louis’ endless supply of food.

 

Dinner was quiet, thoughtful. Harry felt a little odd in his jeans and tee whilst Louis wore his suit. But Louis shucked off his jacket to reveal braces over his shirt; his pants fitted and tight across his ass.

 

Harry couldn’t help licking his lips at the sight as Louis stood, hanging his jacket on the back of his seat. He tilted his head as Louis stepped closer.

 

“Would you like to dance?” Louis asked.

 

Harry took his offered hand and stood. He should be all boyish energy and big, loping gestures, but he wasn’t. He blinked, letting Louis lead him to the dance floor.

 

It was kind of weird dancing with someone smaller than you, especially when they wanted to lead. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ shoulders and set the tone for a slow-dance; curling himself around Louis’ body so he could rest his cheek against the side of Louis’ head.

 

Louis seemed to fidget awkwardly and gave in; circling Harry’s waist with his arms.

 

“Hmm,” Harry hummed happily as they swayed; foot to foot, really, like in a school dance.

 

Louis hitched in a breath; afraid almost to settle against Harry’s body. Harry seemed to notice for he pulled him in closer; brushing his lips to his messy hair. The spiky ends brushed his mouth and he smiled.

 

“Mm-hmm,” he grinned this time, emphasizing his happiness, his pleasure.

 

Louis’ arms split, one reaching down to the bottom of Harry’s spine, one up to his shoulder. He clutched him, almost as if he didn’t want to let go.

 

Harry found it all kinds of odd that he couldn’t hear the music. It was there in the background and usually, he’d be immersed in it; taken over. Something about this petite brunette was blocking his music receptors. More than something. Maybe everything, in fact. He made a sour face. He couldn’t possibly like everything about Louis that was impossible. Nobody was perfect.

 

Louis had yet to show his truth, his real colours. Harry amended his unbidden thoughts.

 

Just the slow sway; the gentle tug of clothes; the press of warm flesh had Harry buzzing. His body had never felt this alive, had never had this closeness; this intimacy. It was still strangeness of the highest order, but it was also heaven in a bell jar.

 

He could literally seal Louis and he in this circle of bliss and never break away from it.

 

Louis’ mouth lifted to his ear. His hand lifted to his neck. He began to stroke, softly.

 

“So beautiful, Harry,” he husked, all warm breath tailed with a whimper he tried to cover with a throat-clear.

 

Harry shivered, his body hardening. Why was beautiful so alluring? Shouldn’t he be _sexy_?

 

Louis was mouthing his skin by his ear. He worked his way across, kissing his cheek as he pulled away a little. Harry regarded him, confused at this weirdly amazing moment and unsure of how to act.

 

Louis tiptoed; brushing his lips.

 

Harry didn’t need asking twice. He tilted his head and took Louis’ lips under his own; crushing him close with another pleasured groan, his throat purring out that noise unguarded. There was something about kissing Louis…it was all kinds of hot and not in the same way that Harry kissed that kid- no, this was deliberate strokes to please, slowness and exquisiteness. This was kissing because you wanted to, because you desired the person you were kissing. Not kissing to fill the gaps until you fucked.

 

Harry was addicted. He flicked his tongue, startled as Louis’ pushed against it, forcing it back into his mouth. He realized why when Louis’ own tongue swept across his lower lip, asking for permission, having it granted and Harry knew this was the sexiest way to kiss anybody… _ever_. He wanted to hold back all the time, never dive right in. He wanted to tease Louis’ lips the way he teased his audience with the removal of his clothes. Only he didn’t really know how.

 

But boy, was he learning.

 

Louis pulled away, clearing his throat; his hard body jutted up against Harry’s as he looked around for escape. Harry quickly drew him close again; back to their original position, hiding their hard-ons from the world.

 

“Mm-mm-hmmm,” he appreciated with a sexy grin that Louis couldn’t see.

 

He heard Louis let out an amused breath, felt him relax.

 

“Sleep with me tonight?” Louis husked in his ear.

 

Harry almost groaned at it, the way his voice sounded ruined. Just from one kiss. One majorly hot; unbelievably amazing kiss, though.

 

“Sure,” Harry agreed.

 

“Just sleep,” Louis added quickly, looking at Harry as he pulled back again.

 

Harry didn’t know what made him do it. He cupped Louis’ cheek and kissed his mouth, just once.

 

“Absolutely,” he agreed.

 

Louis nodded and stepped away, taking his hand to lead him back to the car.

 

//

 

If it was supposed to be weird, Harry didn’t feel it. To be honest, ever since that sexy-as-fuck dance with Louis, he hadn’t felt a lot other than the hardness in his pants, but still.

 

He eased himself into bed with a wince; ignoring that particular problem.

 

Louis came to join him a few moments later. He wore pajama bottoms and a t-shirt whilst Harry preferred just his boxers. Still. He curled Louis into his arms and sighed out into his hair.

 

Maybe Louis just needed a hug sometimes? Harry considered as his boss twitched in his embrace; settling shortly after. He ran a hand up and down his arm, dropped a kiss to the top of his head.

 

Was that weird, he wondered? Should he be doing that shit? Ah, fuck it. If he couldn’t cuddle his owner and throw the odd sweet kiss in, what kind of prostitute was he? He smirked. A crap one, clearly, since by rights they should be fucking by now.

 

Louis’ leg was overlapping his. He drew his thigh up, right over his and Harry tensed as his knee brushed his arousal. Louis stirred.

 

“Do you want-” Louis began, swallowing.

 

Harry could see him, propped above him on his elbow. He smiled.

 

“What do _you_ want?” Harry asked.

 

Louis blinked.

 

“Lots of things,” he mused quietly.

 

“Okay…but right now?” Harry tried to narrow it down.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

Harry knew exactly what Louis wanted, he just couldn’t ask for it. He rolled up; gently pressing Louis into the bed. He straddled his slim hips, shuffled up until his knees sat under his armpits. Louis wrapped his hands around the back of Harry’s thighs, gazing up.

 

 _Oh yes_ , Harry smirked. He had beautiful eyes. And gazing up at him…fuck, he was so horny.

 

He slipped the band of his boxer-briefs down, exposing his dick for the first time to his new owner. Louis was just as astounded as Harry hoped he’d be. He kept a monster in his pants and right now, his monster was full-sized and angry with need.

 

Louis licked his lips and Harry groaned, taking himself into his hand, slowly stroking. He often used both, such was his size and he added his other to fuck into them both.

 

Louis gasped, watching Harry’s arousal dart toward his face; opening his mouth in silent invitation. He could suck Harry off tonight, but no, this was way better, but he would, really soon, he decided.

 

Harry was getting there really fast. His head pushed through past the thumb he bent over the end of his hand tunnel and his breathing became laboured. He imagined Louis’ hands surrounding him this way. Imagined pushing himself into that small tight mouth, unable to coat himself fully in Louis’ spit, but he knew Louis would try. It was the fact Louis would let him fuck his mouth that made him shudder, groan loudly and quicken his pace.

 

“Oh, fuck, yeah…” he husked, jutting his hips to add to his friction.

 

Louis was speechless, it was almost unbearable the way he dragged in air roughly and expelled it out with little pants and whines and Harry couldn’t control his need as he brushed the underside of his dick over Louis’ lips, gaining softness, a little moisture, aiming past his nose where Louis had to shut one eye so as not to blinded.

 

Yeah, Harry could quite enjoy fucking his face, but his orgasm was rising and he had to concentrate. He had to aim, for fuck’s sake. If Louis would stop humping his hips off the bed and crying out with such wanton need, then Harry might even have half a chance.

 

He knew Louis was touching himself, he could see the darkening in his eyes, the way his pupils were blown like he was so gone for him- already, from such little contact and barely any foreplay.

 

“Say my name,” Louis whispered as Harry’s face contorted in a rage-like way. It was painful; riding this climax. So fucking pleasurably painful…

 

“Lou-ee,” Harry gasped as his body gave in; his seed pumping thick strips out in steady succession. “Fuck, yeah…Louis,” he followed up with a tight sigh.

 

Harry blinked his screwed-up eyes open, looking down.

 

Louis’ face was wet and sticky with his seed. He blinked his long lashes, come on those tips; on his cheeks. He looked astounded.

 

“Are you sure you’re gay?” Harry panted.

 

Louis smiled. Fucking smiled. Like he was a fifteen year old pretending to be twenty-one and asking for alcohol.

 

“I’m sure.”

 

Harry cupped his manhood as he climbed off, heading to the bathroom for a washcloth which he quickly wetted with luke-warm water, coming back to wipe off Louis’ face. He returned to the bathroom to clean himself, to steady his nerves, even.

 

He’d just done that without alcohol or contraband, he reminded himself.

 

Harry rolled back in the bed beside Louis who was a little tense.

 

“You’ve never done that, have you?” Harry asked.

 

Louis shook his head.

 

“Why not?”

 

Louis swallowed. “Just never have.”

 

“You don’t have to lie to me,” Harry encouraged.

 

Louis hitched in a breath. Harry sensed he didn’t want to talk about it so he reached an arm across, tentatively to rest across Louis’ waist as he curled up by his side. He thought about it for a minute, fought his conscience and then thought fuck it, and used his palm to rest on Louis’ stomach- a lovely soft, but muscled place that his hand felt happy resting. Happy but not content apparently because he then began to rub, ever-so-gently; and Harry was sure- _absolutely sure_ \- that he wasn’t doing that to make Louis relax. No. His hand just liked the feel of the soft flesh under his top. That was all.

 

“Mm-hmm,” he smiled tiredly, echoing his earlier appreciations of holding Louis in his arms.

 

Louis’ hand tightened only slightly around his wrist, easing his strokes. Harry let his hand rest there, on his belly.

 

“So fucking sober it hurts,” Harry mused into the dark, sure Louis was asleep. “What the fuck have you done to me Louis Tomlinson?”

 

Louis, in the dark, secretly smiled at his out-loud question.

 

He was fucked if he knew.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People!
> 
> Your comments and kudos blow me away I am so, so thankful for your support and enjoyment of my work :D
> 
> I love to hear from you :)
> 
> Ang

** CHAPTER 5 **

 

Shopping with Louis.

 

Well, it had to happen sooner or later and since it was the weekend, Louis had a full day to do whatever the hell he liked. And he liked to shop.

 

Harry wasn’t sure how this worked. When they got into the car, he felt weird, somehow. Like coming all over Louis’ face the night before wasn’t as dirty and cheap as his other sexual encounters and actually, he didn’t feel awkward even though they were sort-of friends.

 

His trepidness was more about hand-holding. Harry knew Louis liked to- _he’d taken his hand in the car_ \- and he had a sneaking suspicion he’d hold his hand all day if he could, but Harry didn’t know how he felt about that, yet.

 

It was easier to be led into the shops Louis had in mind for him and it almost became a game to Harry; being pulled around like a toy. He sort-of, nearly, almost-liked-it.

 

At least, if anyone saw the little curl in the corners of his lips and the filthy shine in his eyes, they might guess he liked it.

 

Louis looked around as they came into their third shop. They already had two bagfuls of clothes being carted back to the car by Jake.

 

“You okay?” Louis asked, kindly, Harry thought.

 

He didn’t have to care if Harry was okay. But he did. It helped.

 

“Yes, daddy,” Harry pursed his lips, deliberately baiting his owner.

 

Louis stilled. He swallowed. He turned back with a half-frown.

 

“Please don’t call me that,” he asked, quietly.

 

Harry’s brows rose. Well, that was odd. Normally his clients loved being called that. Begged for it even. Some of them even slapped it out of his mouth as he sucked them; sending spit and semen flying in their enthusiasm.

 

He didn’t like to remember those days, he mused. Days that would soon enough be cast back upon him.

 

“So, how long did you buy me for anyway?” Harry wondered suddenly, crowding up behind Louis as Louis flicked through a rack of t-shirts.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

“I…uh…didn’t specify,” he answered evasively, deciding to let Harry choose his own tops as he went to select some scarves instead.

 

“I don’t wear scarves,” Harry called. He looked enough like a girl as it was, he didn’t need any more help.

 

Louis considered Harry's casual stance, one foot behind the other, knee bent. Body languid to one side, hip out. His head bowed down, his shoulders hunched. He was quite different than the athletic performer who ran out on stage every night.

 

His firm, taut body when at rest like this looked soft and inviting. Louis felt the invitation lace through his veins and tighten his body instinctively. He could only imagine how Harry felt; what it was like to be inside him. But that day was far, far off because Louis wanted Harry to care about him first. Just like he’d talked about.

 

“I was thinking for your hair,” Louis offered, lifting up an olive green one.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“I’ll try it.”

 

Louis nodded and came back toward him where Harry lifted up a shirt.

 

“You don’t want me to be smart?” He asked. “For these functions you talked about?”

 

Louis nodded. _Ah yes_. Those.

 

“I have one Monday night,” he shared. “If you’d like to come…”

 

Harry flicked him a bemused look.

 

“I’m being paid to come,” he said, then realized how that sounded. He barked out a laugh.

 

“You don’t have to,” Louis said.

 

Harry looked to him.

 

“It’s a work thing?” He checked.

 

“Just a meal…everyone takes their other halves,” Louis explained. “I always feel a bit awkward having no-one else to talk to,” he shared.

 

It was weird, hearing someone admit they got lonely. Harry was so lonely he had no-one to even admit it to, not that he would, of course. He liked that Louis could. It made him think maybe one day, he could, too. Admit it, that is. Admit being lonely.

 

“Okay,” Harry agreed.

 

“I’ll let Jack know, then,” Louis added, to double-confirm.

 

“Yep,” Harry nodded. “Now, what about this shirt?”

 

He lifted the thing back up. It was black with hearts on. It would go great with a jacket and jeans. Louis seemed to know better than to expect Harry to wear suit pants because he said,

 

“Lets find a jacket that fits,” and led him away from the clothes rack.

 

//

 

Harry was being fitted for a jacket. The shop would make him one specially; but for Monday he needed something off the rack.

 

He felt all kinds of Pretty-Woman being measured and doted on by shop staff. He couldn’t help his giggle as it erupted, the measuring tape tickling between his thighs. If this wasn’t so insane, he’d think he was imagining it.

 

Louis was sat, ankle rested on knee, finger running across his lips in much the same way Harry’s had that first night. He tilted his head, openly watching proceedings, if not a little bored for he kept checking his phone, typing into it occasionally.

 

“You don’t have to wait here,” Harry said. “I’m a big boy.”

 

“Aren’t you just,” he thought he heard Louis murmur, then, “I like watching you.”

 

Harry grinned.

 

“Creepy,” he accused, but with humour. He was getting used to Louis’ rather unorthodox sentences.

 

Louis frowned, sitting forward, grasping the chair-arms in his gentle hands.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t realise,” he apologized, standing. “I’ll wait outside…”

 

“Louis!” Harry called, laughing. “Lou!” He added, in that familiar way that he shortened everybody’s name.

 

Louis paused, turned with his lip under his teeth.

 

“Come on,” Harry twinkled, gesturing widely with his arm for Louis to come and sit back down. “You’re allowed to be creepy,” he allowed.

 

Louis made a face that reminded Harry of someone eating lemons. He sighed.

 

“Lou, come on,” Harry said, more softly, more carefully this time. “I’m joking, okay? Alright? It’s a joke…”

 

Louis nodded; hope burning in his blue eyes as he looked up.

 

“Alright.”

 

Harry nodded, patiently posing until his measuring was done. He came over and Louis startled as he leaned over his chair.

 

“Kiss me,” Harry said.

 

Louis frowned, flicking his eyes to the side where he could see past Harry's elbow into the room where the shop staff was politely ignoring them.

 

Louis lifted his chin and sucked Harry’s lips, just quickly.

 

Harry smiled, on one side of his mouth.

 

“Not bad,” he scored, holding his hand out.

 

Louis took it and stood, the leader now being the led.

 

//

 

Harry’s wardrobe was now fit to burst. He didn’t know how much Louis had spent on him this afternoon but he tried not to think about it because if he did, this arrangement became all kinds of awkward.

 

Not because he was having money spent on him, which he could handle. It happened a lot. And in all fairness for what Harry was giving up for those dollars, he felt the scales were even.

 

But in regards to the fact that this was fast becoming home to him, he found that difficult to correspond.

 

He was working tonight so he decided to get a nap, curling on his bed blissfully.

 

It was so quiet here, so calm and….he hated to say it but _normal_.

 

It was clean, yes. It was straight, definitely. No rainbows, no transvestites tramping about, no sex-toys littering the place. But it was nice. Harry liked nice. He was beginning to like nice way too much.

 

//

 

They hadn’t spoken about that night.

 

The night that Harry had left, had turned up to work from his own place, and had thrown disregard to the wind and kissed a kid from the audience. The night he’d snorted some of the purest coke he’d ever had and suffered a debilitating nose bleed because of. The night Louis had cared for him and made him realise that not everybody was a shitbag.

 

As he climbed into the car after work, he looked at Louis.

 

“Do we need to talk about it,” he asked.

 

Of course, Louis would have no idea what he meant. He hadn’t been on the same thought path as Harry had for the past hour.

 

“Talk about what?” Louis ventured.

 

“The other night,” he clarified. “When I bled all over the place.”

 

“Oh,” Louis nodded. He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly.

 

“No, we don’t have to,” he said, ducking his head to look out of the window.

 

His hair-messed just so- looked amazing in the street-light. His stubble shone as those pillars whizzed by. His lashes were highlighted, too, his eyes a little squinty, but fuck…so beautiful, too. Harry could gaze at him all day if he was allowed.

 

He felt breathless. That’s exactly what Louis had said earlier. _I like watching you_. Fuck it if he didn’t feel the same.

 

And he didn’t want to, really he didn’t. He’d never allowed himself to enjoy watching anybody, to get so comfortable as to appreciate their features, their inexplicable aura. Harry didn’t know anything about spirituality but he could bet Louis had a good aura.

 

“I feel like an apology doesn’t really cover it,” Harry said then.

 

Louis looked to him.

 

“I’d really like it if it didn’t happen again,” he offered.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“I don’t know if I can really explain it,” Harry admitted huskily. “But I want to try and be good. For you,” he added.

 

Louis gave a wry smile.

 

“I don’t want you to be ‘good’, especially not for me, Harry.” He assured.

 

Harry almost asked, ‘then what do you want’, but he remembered he’d asked that before. He hoped Louis might finish his sentence.

 

“I want you to be you,” he said then.

 

“Oh,” Harry frowned. Well that wasn’t difficult, he supposed. Perhaps it was harder without his narcotics, but still. He could try. “Okay.”

 

“It’s okay to get high,” Louis added.

 

Is it, Harry wondered to himself? He didn’t feel like Louis was really okay with it.

 

“Okay, I’ll be myself on one condition,” Harry decided to strike a bargain.

 

Louis blinked. “What’s that?”

 

“That you are, too,” Harry asked. “And you can start by not lying,” he added boldly. “I know you don’t like me doing drugs so you may as well not pretend about it.”

 

Louis’ eyes darted to his. Jake was pulling up in the drive. The journey seemed too short.

 

Harry was waiting for an answer before he got out. Louis seemed to sag with surrender.

 

“You’re right, I don’t like the drugs,” is all he said.

 

Harry got out and followed Louis inside.

 

“Hungry?” Louis checked and Harry nodded, following him through to the kitchen where Emma made him a delicious snack of sausage and hash brown with eggs on the side.

 

“I can’t promise I won’t,” Harry finally said, of the drug situation.

 

“I know,” Louis nodded.

 

“But since you’re bending over backwards for me, I’d like to say I’ll give it a go,” he offered.

 

“Okay,” Louis swallowed.

 

Harry pushed his plate away, full and content.

 

“Can we take a walk?” He wondered.

 

Louis looked surprised.

 

“Not ready for bed?” He asked.

 

Harry smirked.

 

“Nah…”

 

Louis got up and slipped off his suit-jacket, replacing it with a light jacket. He made Harry go and get his denim-sheepskin one before they started their tour of the grounds.

 

The moon was high and bright, the night chill and calm. Harry swung his arms back and forth widely; suddenly stopping them to catch up Louis’ hand.

 

Louis looked to him, licking his lips.

 

Harry couldn’t help it, he reached over and pressed a kiss to his mouth; needing to feel the bristle of his beard. He smacked his lips as he pulled away.

 

“Why, Mr. Tomlinson, you taste like sweet-cherry-pie,” he regaled in a girly voice, languidly skipping ahead.

 

Louis chuckled and jogged to catch up.

 

“Your legs are too long,” Louis complained lightly. “How's a short guy like me supposed to keep up?”

 

Harry turned and grinned; making Louis pause on the spot.

 

Harry wrapped his arms around him and leaned backward; so far that they both fell to the ground; Louis atop Harry’s body until Harry rolled them, two, three times, until he was on top.

 

“Better?” He asked all husk and hair.

 

Louis looked into his brilliant green eyes, saw them sparkle and caught his breath. How had he done that, he wondered? How had he made Harry sparkle?

 

He lifted his hands and pushed his fingers into Harry’s thick, curly hair, gazing into his eyes, losing himself. The purest smile formed on his lips and lit his eyes.

 

He tilted his head; letting his hands drop to Harry’s neck to pull him closer, but he didn’t need to bother because Harry filled the space; leaning down and taking his mouth once more; the quick and sharp burst of pleasure from that contact making Louis squirm.

 

Harry pulled away, panting.

 

“Am I too heavy?” he asked quickly.

 

Louis took a breath to calm himself.

 

“No, you’re perfect,” he assured, tangling his fingers back into Harry’s hair as he resumed kissing him; pinned to the ground by his heavy weight.

 

“Hmm,” Harry ran his fingers through Louis’ long, messy fringe, the sparkle still present.

 

“Can we stay here?” Louis asked, wriggling a little, splitting his thighs so that Harry sank between them.

 

Harry put a hand to the ground to bear some of his weight.

 

“The grass is kinda dewy and it’s cold,” Harry considered.

 

Louis blinked. Of course. Of course they couldn’t stay here. It was ludicrous. But this feeling, this moment, was amazing and he didn’t want it to end.

 

Harry kissed his mouth.

 

“Maybe another minute, yeah?” He offered.

 

Louis smiled. “Yes, please,” he murmured, letting Harry kiss him once more.

 

//

 

Harry was still skipping. He was all arms and legs and silliness as Louis followed him up the grass. He could appreciate Harry’s lovely behind from here; watch the way his hair fell about, the relaxed ease to his body. He felt a smile burst across his lips.

 

Harry felt safe here, now. He wasn’t as suspicious. He was starting to trust.

 

Louis was in a mind to make a demand or two tonight. Harry looked good enough to eat and tasted like sweet strawberries- although he had no idea why, maybe it was that lip-gloss he always wore? - and he wanted to do something with him. Anything.

 

They had a bit of impasse on that because Louis didn’t want to demand and Harry didn’t want to suggest. For things to unfold naturally was a bit of a stretch.

 

Louis didn’t need to worry about any of it, really, though, because when they got back to the house, he had a visitor.

 

It was gone 2am and he wasn’t expecting anybody, but there he stood.

 

Louis Tomlinson Senior. His father.

 

//

 

Harry licked his lips nervously as he shuffled into the kitchen to find the older man talking with Emma, taking tea.

 

“Er…I’ll be upstairs,” Harry glanced to Louis to announce.

 

Louis nodded once, granting him permission to go.

 

Louis’ dad stood, quite tall and grey-haired. Authoritative.

 

“Who’s he?” Louis Senior asked.

 

“A friend,” Louis replied.

 

“Boyfriend?” his dad checked.

 

Louis swallowed. “Maybe.”

 

“He’s living with you?”

 

“Just staying over,” Louis lied.

 

If his dad knew the truth, things wouldn’t go well.

 

“He’s a little…uh…” Louis Snr struggled for words.

 

Louis lifted his brows expectantly.

 

“Scruffy,” his dad finally supplied for want of something more descriptive.

 

“He’s an artist,” Louis explained.

 

Louis Snr narrowed his eyes.

 

“You like him,” he accused.

 

Louis shrugged. “I’d hope so since he’s my boyfriend…”

 

His dad nodded. “Well, he likes you, too. You can see it,” he said, as though he needed to reassure Louis that he was loved.

 

Something his dad didn’t always manage for his own affections.

 

“Why are you here?” Louis asked, but it didn’t sound rude.

 

“Flew in to see you,” he said. “Am I allowed?”

 

Louis smiled. “Of course. You could have called.”

 

“Yes, I could have,” his dad accepted. “My flight was late. I was meant to be in by tea-time,” he added.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“You can take the guest room,” he offered.

 

“What about the master suite?” His dad asked.

 

Of course. His dad would be expecting Harry to sleep with him, not in the master suite. Oh how to explain this one…?

 

“Harry has it,” he said boldly, deciding not to lie. His lies always found him out somehow and caused him more pain.

 

“Oh?” Louis Senior frowned.

 

“We’re…waiting,” Louis offered on a choked voice.

 

“Oh,” his dad said again. “Must be love, then,” he arched a brow.

 

“It’s late; shall we just get to bed?” Louis suggested.

 

Louis Senior nodded and climbed the stairs.

 

//

 

Harry had the unfortunate luck of eating breakfast with Louis’ father the following morning.

 

He was sure that if he left it until the last minute possible to come down for food that he’d miss the parental activity going on downstairs, but no, turned out Mr. Tomlinson liked to eat late, too.

 

“So, what do you do?” Louis Senior asked.

 

Harry flicked his eyes sideways, catching Emma’s gaze. She smiled at him and he silently appreciated her support.

 

“I’m a dancer,” Harry offered honestly. He wasn’t going to lie to anybody, for anybody. If Louis had weird fetishes and a need to buy prostitutes then that was up to him. Clearly his dad didn’t know about that little penchant. But he wasn’t ashamed of his job.

 

“Oh?” Louis Senior seemed interested. “You can make a living at that?”

 

Harry nodded, chewing his food. It didn’t taste good today. He had to force himself to swallow.

 

“How long have you been seeing Louis?” He asked next.

 

Harry lifted his brows. Fuck. Had Louis told him they were seeing each other? What the Holy Christ was he meant to say to that? ‘Oh it’s been a week or so…’ No, of course he couldn’t.

 

“Not long,” he answered evasively.

 

“He said you were waiting,” the older man went on, a little inappropriately Harry felt.

 

He swallowed. Well, he guessed they were, sort of. They could have fucked that first night but they hadn’t.

 

“Yeah,” Harry agreed shortly.

 

“You’re religious then?” He asked.

 

Harry pulled out the pendant that hung on his chain. He showed the cross to Louis Snr.

 

“Ah, thought as much…” he nodded.

 

Harry smirked. If Mr. Tomlinson had noticed, his eyes filled with all the filth he’d seen-and done-over the years. Luckily the man was facing away; as if considering his options on this Sunday morning.

 

“Where is Louis?” Harry asked then.

 

“Went for a swim,” he jerked his thumb to the back yard where the pool was house around the corner.

 

Harry nodded. _Thanks, Louis_ , he silently berated, _could have invited me_.

 

“Pool sounds good,” he said then, shifting to get into his swim trunks and join Louis.

 

“Doesn’t it,” Mr. Tomlinson agreed, standing with him. “See you down there…”

 

//

 

By the time Harry and Louis’ dad made it down to the pool, Louis was finishing up his laps. He pulled himself out to lay on a lounger, soaking up the sun into his already-tanned skin.

 

Harry was then silently forced into a race with Louis Snr. It wasn’t a vicious battle or anything- neither of them really needed to prove who was more important in Louis’ life, but still, two guys and a swimming pool and endless laps always created rivalry.

 

Harry was- perhaps not surprisingly- an extremely good swimmer. His muscled body and streamlined shape seemed to slice through the water like a catamaran; all long and graceful. His strokes were powerful; his legs never tiring.

 

They probably didn't know, Harry mused, that he did over 100 laps a day as part of his fitness. If anyone ever wondered where he went for the two hours before the show- well they could find him in the pool and gym- in that order.

 

Mr. Tomlinson gave up around seventy lengths, lounging in the water while Louis propped his head up and just watched. Harry was amazing, from all angles, really.

 

At 150, Harry paused, sticking his head out of the water, wiping his face and panting heavily.

 

“Bravo!” Louis Snr clapped him.

 

Harry grinned, looking to Louis. Louis was sat on the end of his lounger, gave him a thumbs-up.

 

“Gym-time,” Harry said only, pulling himself up.

 

Louis watched him saunter toward the rack of towels; smiling as he dried himself off.

 

His dad came and sat on the lounger beside him.

 

“Seems an alright lad,” he said.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“He is.”

 

His intense blue eyes followed Harry toward the hut by the pool where all his gym equipment was housed; he blinked sadly as he disappeared from sight.

 

“I won’t stay for long,” his dad said then. “Just another night and then I’ll head back.”

 

Louis nodded.

 

“It’s nice to see you,” he extended, although he didn’t sound much like it was nice.

 

“Louis, I have to say I’m pleased as punch that you’ve got a boyfriend,” his dad began. “I was a bit worried about you; you just seem so closed off living here, only staff surrounding you. What happened to all the friends you had?”

 

Louis shrugged. He knew full well what happened. They betrayed him. He hadn’t been ‘out’ for very long although his parents had known for years. The only friends he’d managed to make were from his old job which he’d left four years ago and four years of loneliness still measured better than the reaction his friends had when he finally did come out.

 

It had been ugly, and unexpected really because in this day and age, and certainly in Vegas it wasn’t normal to be homophobic. But back then he’d been living in Louisiana and things had been different. His work friends turned into just that- colleagues who didn’t care for him or his lifestyle.

 

When Harry asked him whether he was truly gay, it always hurt him, just that tiny bit. Because he had worked so hard to appear straight, he’d almost forgotten what it was to be flamboyant; out-there.

 

Maybe Harry could teach him that, he mused with a flick of his lashes down.

 

“My friends didn’t like me gay,” he finally admitted to his dad out loud.

 

Louis Snr frowned. “Oh. Well, then maybe you were right to come here,” he allowed.

 

“I was,” Louis nodded. Because despite anything else, he’d met Harry by coming here.

 

And he might only get a week with him-two maybe at best three, but those three weeks would still top any of the weeks he’d had before that. And even when Harry decided he’d had enough and wanted out, Louis knew he’d still go and watch him from the shadows at the club.

 

“Well, Harry seems a good friend,” he said as if to comfort his son.

 

Louis only nodded.

 

“Why don’t you go and invite him out for dinner with us?” He suggested.

 

Louis smiled sadly. “I think he’s busy,” he said, knowing Harry was working tonight.

 

“Then just go and kiss him or something,” his dad said with an encouraging smile.

 

Louis gave into his boyish fondness for his house guest and rose from the lounger.

 

//

 

Harry had just finished his last set of reps with the bar when Louis strode in. He was topless, had lovely tanned, smooth skin, that gorgeous stomach and shapely legs that included those thighs and that butt that Harry openly appreciated with a grin.

 

“Boyfriend,” he said, pointedly.

 

Louis paused in his assured walk.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said right off.

 

Harry smirked.

 

“S’alright, couldn’t exactly tell him I was your twink, could you?” Harry winked.

 

Louis still found him jarring at times like this.

 

“No, I couldn’t,” he agreed.

 

Harry got up, swiping sweat off his forehead with his arm.

 

“Need a shower,” he said, as though sensing Louis’ presence here was for more than small talk.

 

Louis closed the gap; walking until Harry had to back up unsurely, his back hitting the coolness of the wall.

 

“Now you go all dom on me?” Harry questioned; lifting his hands to the wall in surrender.

 

Louis plucked his hands off the wall and wrapped them around his middle. He nudged at his nose.

 

“No, just wanted a kiss,” he husked; taking what he wanted as he joined their mouths.

 

This kiss was different than the others. Louis leaned into him, pressed him into the wall. He cupped his backside and thrusted; deepening his kiss with an owning tongue, that kind of pushy he’d reprimanded Harry for previously. Still, somehow, Harry didn’t mind. It was all kinds of fucking-strange to be doing this with Louis. _Louis_.

 

He wondered how much his dad’s presence here had to do with this little show of dominance.

 

Louis pulled away, not quite done as he sucked Harry’s lower lip a little, once, twice.

 

Harry let his hands drop, sliding naturally over the curves of Louis’ –quite frankly- amazing ass. His green eyes darkened and he sighed out, as if in bliss.

 

“God knew what he was doing with you,” Harry expressed and it made Louis laugh.

 

“Did he?” he teased warmly, his eyes crinkling.

 

“Knew better than to give a straight man an ass like this,” he countered, flexing his fingers there.

 

Louis pressed closer; a half-thrust; a mumble of contact, really.

 

He breathed out, seemingly heightened by this activity. He began to kiss Harry’s neck.

 

“Will you mark me?” Harry asked, just wondering, really.

 

Louis paused, began to press harder, swirling his tongue out. He scraped his teeth very gently along Harry’s meek white throat, the skin so alabaster it was shame to ruin it. But Louis would quite enjoy ruining it, he realized as his hands tightened on Harry’s waist and he rubbed up against him; a slave to his desires. Something about kissing Harry had opened the floodgates to his need and he wasn’t about to become cave-man about this, but fuck…

 

Harry groaned as Louis scraped his teeth there again; pushing his own body forward for more. He grasped Louis by the hair; his fingers tightening through those beautiful strands and he sucked in air, waiting for it, waiting for Louis to claim him.

 

Louis’ teeth gently bit into his skin as his mouth sucked and Harry fucked up into him; his hips needing more than naked flesh to bump into. He dropped his hands from his hair and grabbed at his hips, hauling him closer as he fed off Harry’s skin, his kiss extended far longer than Harry felt it needed to be or was it that time was running so slowly that this sweet heaven was ruining him a nanosecond at a time? He didn’t know, he didn’t care, all he needed was to thrust; grind and thrust against Louis’ nearly naked body with his own; until his dick was rigid with need, so tight it was painful, so desperate for release he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. Fuck. Louis bit into him again; gentler this time, the sensation sweeter for Harry who bucked up against his belly; trying to grind into his hip.

 

“Lou-eeh.” He cried; mindless now, pushed into the wall with such tender want that he couldn’t find the words to complain, couldn’t find the care to, even.

 

His body-once so taut and heavy- suddenly came undone and his face changed from pained unspent need to shocked realization.

 

He jerked two, three times and felt the tell-tale wetness in his shorts.

 

He’d just come.

 

From nothing more than rutting against Louis’ body. He clutched the smaller man close, more to hide his astonished face than for comfort but Louis seemed to appreciate the gesture because he moaned into Harry’s neck and lapped at the bruise he’d left there. Shit. Fuck. This wasn’t happening. What _was_ happening? He wished he knew. He wished it made sense. He wished…

He wished Louis wouldn’t kiss his jaw with those butterfly kisses that seemed to promise so much more. He finally met Louis’ gaze, hardening his before he did so.

 

“Well,” he husked with a heavy swallow.

 

Louis managed a smirk.

 

“Dry orgasm,” he remarked and Harry knew then that Louis had come too.

 

He didn’t feel quite so bad.

 

But fuck, he should.

 

“Uhm,” Harry tried to find words as he let go of Louis slowly; dropping his gaze down his body.

 

Yes, he looked good. Yes, he probably did kiss quite well and alright, he knew what he was doing when it came to sex. But in those moments- for those long minutes while Louis sucked a love-bite into his neck, he hadn’t relied on any of that famous charm and experience. He hadn’t been able to. Louis had driven him right out of his mind and to a place he wasn’t sure he wanted to go again.

 

Mindless abandonment.

 

Louis licked his lips, as if savouring the taste of Harry.

 

“My dad asked you to dinner with us,” Louis offered.

 

Harry found it hilarious how he managed to say the most unlikely things at the worst possible moments but still somehow get away with it.

 

“I said I’d work instead of tomorrow,” Harry murmured.

 

“I know. I just thought I’d tell you so you knew that he’d invited you.”

 

“Thank you,” Harry ran a hand through his hair and sucked in air, still feeling short of it.

 

“I won’t be there tonight,” he added softly.

 

Harry’s head jerked up. _What?_ Well, no of course he wouldn’t, he was having dinner with his father. He could hardly take him to a male strip club where his so-called boyfriend writhed around a pole simulating sex a g-string, could he? Harry for the first time, felt aggrieved.

 

If he had a normal job, Louis wouldn’t have to feel like that. Like he had to hide something, had to split himself in two to please different aspects of his life. But then Harry reminded himself, this was just a contract- an arrangement.

 

He swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth.

 

“Okay, I’ll see you at breakfast?” Harry guessed.

 

Louis blinked.

 

“Yes. Breakfast,” he agreed although Harry sensed there were unspoken words, he didn’t know what they were.

 

He only knew what _his_ unspoken words were, and they included ‘see you in bed’.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOUUUUU
> 
>  
> 
> Ang

** CHAPTER 6 **

 

Harry had walked around in circles for a good fifteen minutes; paced up and down, asked himself a hundred times if he should be doing this before he made his final decision.

 

His decision wasn’t based on fact or theory or anything scientific. It was based on his heart.

 

He knew that was a dangerous game- a mighty dangerous game- to be playing, but fuck it. He’d had a nice afternoon with Louis- even if it did include the biggest, messiest hickey known to man and an hour of explaining to Jack- and he wanted to do something, just something small, but maybe meaningful.

 

And so he slipped under Louis’ covers; hugging them to his nearly-naked form.

 

His mind drifted back to Jack, about how Harry wasn’t supposed to mark himself, or have anyone mark him. Especially in not such a blatant way. If he had a few scratches the odd bite mark then no-one would be any the wiser, in fact that created eroticism because the audience could see Harry was ‘up for it’, a ‘bad boy’ of sorts (Harry had rolled his eyes at this point).

 

But full on love-bites were bad for business, Jack had said. Guys didn’t want to think of Harry as _claimed_ , a taken man, Harry had of course argued that he was a taken man since Jack had sold him to the highest bidder every night and for this occasion, more than one night but Harry knew deep down that Jack was right.

 

He couldn’t let Louis own him, completely; He had to keep something back. Really, the small amount of him that was actually left in his husk of a body, he didn’t know that there was really anything to ‘keep back’ at all but still, he’d remember. No biting. No claiming. And definitely no dry orgasms.

 

//

 

He wasn’t sure what time it was when Louis got in. He heard him padding about the room but he knew he hadn’t seen him until he flicked on the bedside lamp, followed with a soft gasp.

 

Harry stirred; star fishing on the bed.

 

“Hey,” he greeted, eyes shut.

 

“Hi,” Louis said, with that London accent he couldn’t quite get rid of, not even after ten years in the states.

 

“Thought I’d sleep here,” Harry offered nonchalantly.

 

That seemed to relax Louis because he began to undress pulling on a t-shirt and forgoing pajama trousers as he rolled into the bed.

 

His whiskers grazed Harry’s shoulder as he curled there.

 

“Are you okay?” Louis asked.

 

Harry smirked. _Oh God_. He cared, he really cared. This was all kinds of wrong, on a scale of crazy to lunatic. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

 

“I got in trouble,” he offered tiredly; curving toward Louis to draw him close.

 

He didn’t know when this hugging-in-bed thing came about, or when it became acceptable, but apparently it was.

 

“For what?” Louis wondered; slipping his arms around Harry to hold him.

 

Harry curved his body a little deeper to acquiesce his embrace.

 

“Your bite-mark,” he countered with a dirty smirk.

 

The tone of his voice gave away his pride at that small rebellion more that the movement of his lips.

 

“Oh,” Louis said, not apologetic. “Oops?”

 

“I don’t care,” Harry mumbled with a shrug.

 

“It was pretty epic,” Louis agreed, still a little- no profoundly- affected by that little hot whirlwind of make-out.

 

Harry nodded and felt Louis’ bristles brush his skin. He smiled.

 

“Hmm,” he hummed, in his now-familiar way.

 

“Go to sleep,” Louis murmured. “We have the dinner tomorrow and I’m seeing dad off at the airport…”

 

“’K,” Harry agreed, relaxing.

 

Louis let himself kiss Harry’s hair before he too, fell asleep.

 

//

 

Okay, this wasn’t his best idea, Harry considered.

 

He didn’t even know why he’d done it, really. Just nerves or panic or…something, he couldn’t remember what, but something had made him snort a line of the coke he had left.

 

He was sitting with his head in his hands, frantically bouncing his knee as his hands shook and his face was wet with distraught tears. Tears for fucks sake! He didn’t cry!

 

_Harry Styles, 20, big fucking baby._

 

He wiped his face, knowing he had to be ready soon. Louis had got back from the airport an hour ago and was in his study, catching up on work. If he saw Harry like this, he’d never take him to another event and fuck it, if that’s not what he was being paid to do!

 

He really needed to get a grip.

 

He went for a second shower- a really cold one to soothe his skin and numb his mind. The coke was kicking in now; he was past his blind panic and into the zone where everything felt suddenly calm.

 

Oh yes. This was why he did it, he beamed. His eyes shone wolfishly as he stalked out of the bathroom naked; picking up his chosen clothes to pull on.

 

“Harry, are y-”

 

Louis pushed into his open door and paused. His eyes flicked down Harry’s utterly naked body. Harry saw him swallow heavily and knew his gaze had reached his dick.

 

“It fits,” is all he said and Harry was amused to see Louis blush.

 

“Uh-never mind,” he murmured, turning away.

 

“Hey!” Harry called, quickly dragging on his pants. He opened the door, finding Louis paused in the doorway. He leaned off the door for a minute. “Help me dress?” He asked, not knowing what else to say, really.

 

Louis turned all eyes. Harry lifted his hand to cup his scruffy jaw.

 

“Watch me, if you like,” he added.

 

Louis swallowed and nodded, going back into the room where Harry pulled on his tight jeans with a great show of effort.

 

He stood when Harry slipped on his shirt, his hands going to the buttons to do them up and Harry watched him with this bemused look as if to ask ‘why are you dressing me?’ Louis would like to ask why it was so fucking hot dressing him rather than undressing him, but he found his brain was on his side and didn’t blurt that out.

 

He told Harry to wait while he went and fetched cufflinks, bringing them back and fastening them. Finally, Harry slipped on his black jacket. It fit perfectly and he looked so tall and handsome in it-broad and debonair.

 

Harry; as if sensing his charade, pursed his lips and lifted his chin.

 

“Well? Do I scrub up?” he asked.

 

Louis nodded only.

 

“Your turn,” Harry cocked a brow, following Louis through to his room where Louis firstly undressed- a little more shyly than Harry and definitely not as assured in his nakedness.

 

Harry had to sit on his hands on the bed to remedy that; the urge to show Louis exactly how fucking amazing he looked naked very strong and almost overwhelming.

 

Anyway, Louis managed to continue dressing, pulling on fitted black trousers, brogues, a black shirt with white dots and a black jacket.

 

“We match,” Harry said, amusement bright eyes meeting Louis’.

 

Louis gave him a sweet smile.

 

“Is that okay?” He wondered.

 

“Sure, whatever you want, boss,” Harry agreed, but the word made Louis stiffen for a moment.

 

“Louis,” he said, even though he didn’t really need to. “Please, call me Louis.”

 

“Lou-ee,” Harry repeated, deliberately childish and obtuse. “Lou-eeh,” he added with a French accent. “Lewis…Lew-dog…Lou-” He was cut off with a kiss.

 

“Lou is also okay,” Louis said as he lowered back from Harry’s mouth to the floor.

 

“Right,” Harry nodded.

 

“You’re nervous,” Louis observed.

 

Harry nodded with a little pinch of his mouth at the side.

 

“Why?”

 

Harry shrugged. “I don’t really do ‘social’,” he shared.

 

Louis licked his lips.

 

“Have you...um…” he frowned, just a tad.

 

Harry lowered his head, joining his fingers together and letting his hands hang in front of his dick. _Oh shit_. He knew. He’d worked it out.

 

“It’s okay,” Louis assured, cupping his face in his sweet, kind hands. “I’m not angry, I’m just asking…”

 

Harry sighed. “One line,” he said, as if repenting his sins.

 

Louis smiled. _Smiled_. Like the fucking sun had come out at night or the moon had turned blood red. Smiled, like a natural phenomenon was occurring and wouldn’t be seen again for a hundred years.

 

He grasped Harry’s jacket lapels and tugged him close.

 

“You look incredible,” he complimented.

 

“S’just clothes,” Harry dismissed.

 

“No,” Louis denied. “ _You_ look incredible,” he repeated, placing the proper emphasis on his words to make Harry understand.

 

Harry didn’t know how to deal with direct, honest compliments. He lifted his brows, pursed his lips and tried to make a princess face.

 

“Why thank you Lou-ee Tomlinson,” he teased. “May I say you look positively fuckable yourself?” He asked.

 

Louis darted him a look, somehow touched by that rather base remark.

 

“You may,” Louis allowed, pleased.

 

“Good, let’s get this show on the road,” Harry sighed, belying his nerves.

 

Louis paused at his door.

 

“You don’t have to,” he said, in that way that gave Harry an out.

 

“I know,” Harry said. “I want to,” he added as Louis paused and those were the right words, because he moved on then.

 

Harry didn’t entirely not mean them, either.

 

//

 

Louis’ colleagues were a strange bunch.

 

Harry liked to spend some time watching people before he dove into conversation, sizing them up and making his own opinions before he spoke. By the time he actually included himself in the merry madness surrounding him, he had correctly deduced they were a bunch of fake idiots who merely sycophanted over Louis because of his wealth.

 

He snorted derisively at this thought, hoping it sounded like he was laughing at the unfunny joke a guy name Pete had just told him.

 

“So, Harry…Louis kept you quiet,” he said with a wink.

 

“Did he?” Harry enquired, deliberately making the man feel uncomfortable. Now Pete thought that Harry was upset at the idea Louis hadn’t mentioned him.

 

“Well…I suppose being gay he had to be more discreet…” he added quickly.

 

Harry smirked. It wasn’t being gay that did it. It was working with a bunch of morons. Still, for some reason Louis wanted him to be here. In some respects, he felt like a model, being shown off. Not quite trophy-status-worthy, but good-looking enough, tall-enough, assured-enough to be considered a catch. And Louis could come across as very…straight. Harry could see why he wanted a pretend-date who was lively, warm and doting. Not that he considered himself to be those things, but Louis clearly did because it seemed to Harry he wanted to prove that he was loveable. That he could be loved.

 

Harry found it very interesting that the powerful and rich Louis Tomlinson would consider someone like him- Harry Styles, pole dancer and slut- a better person. He found it more than interesting. It bordered on hilarious, in fact.

 

“So,” Pete was ploughing on, despite his rather clumsy conversation. “When did you realise it was love?”

 

Harry wondered if this question were any better than the others, it was certainly an odd one. Not, how long have you been together, not, what do you like about him? No, when did you fall in love? Harry knew he was digging for information. He could see why these people would find it hard to see that Louis could be warm, kind and generous but Harry knew that he was.

 

He also knew the honest answer to that question. It was when he’d overdosed that night. That was when he’d fallen for Louis. But of course, that wasn’t the whole truth. He hadn’t fallen for Louis at all, nuh uh. So when he answered in his head, all he meant was, if he was answering this question for real, if he and Louis were real, then that would be his answer.

 

Also, Harry was a good one for not telling the truth. For obvious reasons.

 

“I saw him saving this drug-addict once,” Harry answered, with just the flick of a gooey smile that showcased his dimple. “She’d passed out in the street and nobody would go near…but Louis called an ambulance and stayed with her…”

 

“Her?” Pete questioned, shocked. Harry smirked. Yes, _her._..

 

“Ooh, that’s so sweet,” Pete’s other-half had tuned in to listen- Marissa, if Harry remembered rightly.

 

He sighed. “Yeah, was a goner after that,” he shared.

 

He flicked his eyes up, realizing the whole table had tuned in. He shyly flicked his curls out of his face, his hair now obscenely long. He dipped his gaze as he felt Louis’ boring into him, burning him with the intensity of it.

 

“Well done, Louis,” Marissa commended and the table clapped.

 

Harry knew, infinitely knew, that none of these people would save a druggie. He’d used the term addict knowing he wasn’t, but these people wouldn’t know the difference, anyway. They wouldn’t stop, they would go near, and they wouldn’t show humanity. But Louis had.

 

“Excuse me,” he cleared his throat gently and made his way to the bathroom.

 

He wasn’t surprised to feel someone come in behind him and press against his arm as he used the urinal.

 

“You’re gorgeous,” the unknown patron slurred.

 

Harry rolled his eyes. _Oh boy_. The downfalls of being beautiful.

 

“I’m taken,” Harry said only, finishing up, moving to wash his hands.

 

“Oh, but…no,” the guy behind him whined. “Too pretty to waste on one man…”

 

“I’m not fucking pretty,” Harry turned and narrowed his eyes. Of course he was, his head sang happily. He just didn’t want this guy saying it.

 

“Threesome?” He bargained to which Harry shook his head with a bitter laugh.

 

“Not a chance…”

 

“Okay, can I watch, then? You and yours?”

 

Harry frowned. Jeez, the guy was desperate.

 

“I’ve seen you,” he whispered then, his words striking fear into Harry's heart.

 

“A lot of people have seen me,” he countered carefully.

 

“Dancing,” the man confirmed his worst fears.

 

“Good for you…”

 

“Will you dance for me?” He asked. “Just for me?”

 

Harry looked up as the bathroom door opened and in strolled Louis. He gazed at him unflinching while he stood beside the other man; looking between them.

 

“Friend of yours?” Louis asked lightly.

 

Harry lifted his brows to the guy.

 

“Are you his boyfriend?” The man asked Louis.

 

Louis paused. He nodded, flicking a look to Harry, who didn’t seem to mind that tag.

 

“I like your boy very much,” the guy told Louis.

 

Louis stiffened. His lashes came down. When they lifted, his eyes were hard, almost glacial. If Harry thought Louis had been poker-faced before, well now he was a downright brick wall.

 

Harry leaned off the sink, reaching his hand toward Louis, not sure where this was going since he had never seen Louis look jealous before. Jealous? Really? He guessed that’s what came from buying people like possessions- you expected them to belong to you.

 

“Lou,” he said as Louis remained fixed, hands in trouser pockets, staring at the patron.

 

“Um,” the man began to get nervous, from Louis’ stare alone. “I have to um…” He inelegantly backed out of the room while Harry waited for Louis to come back to the present moment.

 

“Your type?” Louis asked, surprising Harry.

 

Of all the things he’d expected him to say, that wasn’t it.

 

“Not especially,” Harry remarked.

 

“Brunette, small…” Louis pointed out of the guy that had just left.

 

Harry let his lips purse just a smidgen.

 

“No ass on him, though.”

 

Louis nodded, almost clinical.

 

“What about in bed?” Louis wondered then.

 

Harry really couldn’t figure out where this conversation was going, or why in fact, they were having it in the men’s bathroom.

 

“What about it,” Harry dared back with a brow arch.

 

“You haven’t told me what you like,” Louis countered.

 

“No,” Harry turned down his lips and shook his head slowly, like ‘no and I’m not going to’.

 

“You don’t want to tell me?” Louis guessed.

 

“Would it change you?” Harry asked back.

 

“What?” Louis frowned.

 

“Would it change you, if you knew…would you try and be what I said I liked just to fulfill my words?” Harry asked.

 

Louis swallowed. “Yes.”

 

“Then I’m not answering that,” he decided.

 

“How am I supposed to know, then?” Louis challenged. “What you like?”

 

Harry came closer; leaning toward his ear.

 

“I think you already do,” he murmured, brushing past Louis to exit the room.

 

//

 

 

Harry rested in the back of the car satisfied in the knowledge he had been a hit tonight. All of Louis’ work friends had asked him to come next time and Louis had spent the rest of the night with a proud arm around his waist, or claiming hand on his thigh.

 

Harry kicked back; arms folded behind his head as he smiled. He still had it, the old Styles charm.

 

“How was it?” Louis asked; looking out of the window, missing Harry’s moment of ego.

 

“Great,” Harry nodded.

 

“Want to go somewhere else?” Louis checked.

 

“Mm-nah,” Harry decided he was happy right now. Why ruin it?

 

“Home?” He asked.

 

Harry thought on it.

 

“Do you want to see my place?” He asked, off the cuff.

 

Louis startled.

 

“Yes,” he answered too quickly.

 

Harry glanced at him with a fond smile.

 

“Easy, creeper,” he teased.

 

Louis actually smiled back.

 

“Sorry,” he added after.

 

Harry told Jake the address. He folded out of the car and felt Louis twine their fingers. He didn’t have a mind to care; he just curled his in return.

 

Because that was natural, right? It was natural for pretend-boyfriends to be holding hands. It’s not that he wanted to do it, not at all. It was because if he wrenched his hand away, it'd be rude and it he left it here limp, they’d disconnect. So he only did it to be natural.

 

 _Yeah right_ , his conscience sneered, which he promptly told to shut up.

 

There were two flights of stairs and then they were inside, Harry bursting in and buzzing around the space, checking for mess or remnants of coke binges or anything else untoward.

 

Louis was quietly contemplating the horizon, the view that Harry loved so much. It was kind of noisy here, right in the bustle. But it was home. Oddly, today it didn’t feel like it. He put it down to Louis’ presence there.

 

“It’s not much but it’s mine,” Harry shrugged.

 

Louis looked to him.

 

“It’s amazing,” he commended.

 

Harry came closer, throwing his keys on the side. He bit his lip as he stood before Louis, all short and sexy and-

 

He swallowed. _Beautiful_.

 

He’d never thought of a man as beautiful before, it wasn’t right. He knew he got called it all the time, mostly because of his obscene lips and curly lashes and hair. But Louis…Louis was exquisite, crafted perfectly. His slightness was completely outweighed by his appeal. It was as if god knew you couldn’t put that much gorgeousness into a big person or it wouldn’t be fair on everyone else. No, only small doses of Louis’ brand of sexiness were allowed, he mused. And it didn’t matter how much smaller he was than Harry really. Because when he wrapped his arms around him and sank into his kiss; he wouldn’t have wanted him to be any other size. He just fit, so nicely, against his body, into his heart.

 

He ripped his lips away, panting. _Fuck fuck fuck_.

 

No, there was no space in his heart. Not for anybody. Not for Louis and his addictive allure. Definitely not for Louis. No way. Never.

 

“Harry?” Louis questioned, fearful.

 

Harry flicked his eyes to him. He hated when he did that. Looked so scared, so frightened like he’d done something wrong and Harry was about to run.

 

Well okay, maybe he had that first night they’d shared a bed but he’d manned up to that now, could deal. Just.

 

He wasn’t sure he could deal with the places his mind went when they were kissing though.

 

“Were you jealous?” He asked, and they both knew what he was referring to. The guy at the restaurant.

 

Louis sighed and sat down, Harry sinking into the sofa beside him.

 

“Yes,” he said openly.

 

“Because you thought I liked him?” Harry checked.

 

Louis flicked his intense eyes to Harry’s.

 

“Maybe.”

 

“What else?” Harry asked.

 

“Why are you making me do this?” Louis beseeched.

 

“Because I need to hear it,” Harry admitted. He didn’t get much from Louis, but he needed this.

 

“I don’t think you’ll want to hear it,” Louis murmured and Harry glanced at him. He begged for the real Louis to remain by his side. Not the guarded Louis, just the real Louis.

 

“I do,” he promised lowly.

 

“I heard him ask you to dance,” Louis admitted then, in a rush. “I didn’t like it.”

 

“You don’t like me dancing?” Harry checked.

 

“For other men,” Louis added.

 

“I dance every night,” Harry countered.

 

“That’s different,” Louis assured. “You’re on stage, you have Zayn…”

 

“I’m protected,” Harry nodded his affirmation.

 

Louis nodded too. “I don’t like it that other men want you to dance like that for them,” he expressed but really, Harry was getting no clearer on this conversation.

 

“But I don’t,” he said flatly.

 

Louis frowned. “You don’t?”

 

“No, hell, no,” Harry shook his head.

 

“Not for your clients?” Louis almost gasped in his words, on the brink of excited relief.

 

“No…God, just no,” Harry arched a brow.

 

“You never would?” Louis asked then; a little glimmer of disappointment.

 

Harry gazed at him. He blinked his heavy lids over his smoky green eyes.

 

“I might,” he offered.

 

“For the right money?” Louis wondered, breath hitching.

 

Harry smirked.

 

“For the right guy,” he amended, knowing he was walking right into the spider’s web and becoming the prey he’d knew he was becoming with this whole damn arrangement.

 

He was promising-pretty much- to dance for Louis and only Louis; outside of the club.

 

Louis seemed to be having difficulty with that notion, too.

 

“Am I the right guy?” He ventured.

 

Harry licked his lips, watched Louis’ eyes follow the action. He stood up, sauntering toward his kitchen where his old radio was hooked up on a cupboard door with a bent hanger. He tuned it into a station he liked; waited for a methodic beat to wash over him.

 

 _Yes this might do_ , he considered.

 

He began to move; just slowly, with that lazy languid ease he owned. He closed his eyes, letting the music inject into his veins; letting that beat sync with his heart; feeling the vibration of the bass; his body moving with it.

 

He’d never done this before. Never danced for someone, not when they were alone, while he was on his own, vulnerable and unprotected, except he wasn’t, because this was Louis and well…he trusted Louis.

 

He tried to ignore the fact it was in his flat, a place nobody else had gotten to see either except Zayn, who was about the only person Harry could count as a friend but he didn’t mind that because this corner of the world suddenly became a private strip-club, a hideaway for his dance-moves.

 

He pulled up his t-shirt; still winding, pumping his hips, licking his lips with obscene over-pronunciation. He bit into his lower one. _No_ , not for Louis. Something _better_ for Louis, something _less_.

 

He slowed his moves; fucked thin air; let his body spin and whirl. He undid his jeans; buzzed the zipper down; bent quickly to yank those tight things off; twirling them above his head only to drop them.

 

He opened his eyes then. He sucked in a breath at the sight. Louis wide-thighed on his couch, his dick out of his trousers and in his hand. He met his gaze, his blue, steady gaze, He wasn’t embarrassed. And this was nothing, absolutely nothing like the guy in the bar who’d made him feel cheap.

 

This was _Louis_. Louis who was regarding him as though he was the most perfect thing on earth when Harry knew the opposite to be true; it was Louis that was perfect.

 

He tried not to let his thoughts get too distracted; his body for some reason was being more lewd, more suggestive in response to Louis’ arousal. He could see from here that Louis was a good size, a nice more-than handful. He looked forward to having that more-than-handful inside of him. Maybe tonight?

 

He glanced over his shoulder. No, not tonight. Louis was entranced. Nowhere near able to fuck. He bent over; ripping down his underwear. Louis’ gasp was audible. Harry had never done this before- never gone completely naked. And he was now. _For Louis_.

 

For the man that had bought him and not made him feel like a possession, for the man that was waiting, waiting to be with him for his own standard, his own stupid misguided caring for Harry.

 

Harry turned. He was hard. He couldn’t deny it or hide it and he didn’t want to. He let Louis look at him, swollen and filled with blood. Let him see how much he turned him on, with no touch, only look. Harry’s dance was nearing an end. He needed to think of a finale.

 

He came over to the couch; kneeling across Louis’ thighs which brought his stunned gaze up. He pushed up his chin for a kiss but Harry shook his head slightly to deny him. Instead he clashed his dick against Louis’ and wrapped them both in his hands; a giant hand job with two dueling dicks.

 

“Oh fuck,” Harry hissed; not meaning to break the moment with his ridiculous lack of control. It only started happening of late; he could usually wank for ages if required. No tonight. No, oh Jesus…nowhere near tonight.

 

And when Louis threw his head back and moaned filthily, Harry took each of their dicks in separate hands and worked harder. Louis’s hands curled around his hips and his own limped up; weighed down by Harry but desperate to push into his touch.

 

His grip was tight; things were getting wet from pre-come and it was a tight, slippery hot mess of pleasure as they both cried out; straining hard. Harry slipped his thumb over the tip, first Louis, them himself. He almost fitted with the pleasure, of knowing he could control Louis this way while he himself came undone.

 

All around him, there were pants, cries, sex-noise, he mused. He missed sex noise. But fuck it if this wasn’t the hottest thing he’d ever done, no sex involved. He started to imagine exactly how hot their sex would be, when they finally got there. The idea must have cindered his mind because his body peaked and he came heavily, with a silent scream; his mouth o’d but nothing coming out.

 

He looked to Louis; Louis was spurting harder than he was if that was possible, it was shooting up Harry's chest to the underside of his chin. _Holy Christ_. He took his hand off the back of the sofa where he’d been clawing and grasped his cross, almost covering it from the scene. But really, it was grounding him.

 

Nobody would ever know why a prostitute pole-dancer wore a cross around his neck, but Harry knew the significance of that pendant.

 

 _Fuck_. He was ruined. He stared at Louis, Louis who was still as beautiful, still as gorgeous and stared at him back.

 

“I liked the dance,” he panted, then.

 

Harry sucked in a breath and found enough air to chuckle back.

 

“Me, too…”

 

He eased back, getting to wobbly feet. He hated feeling wobbly, He was never wobbly. Before Louis that was. He should really make that a term. Never mind about what he never did. He could just say BL, it was easier than denial. Because with Louis, he seemed to be a whole lot of things he had never been before.

 

Including vulnerable. His hands and body were trembling and he didn’t know why. Louis stood and cupped his neck, kissing his chin, licking his come off his lips that he picked up there.

 

“Let’s shower,” Louis suggested.

 

Harry didn’t have a mind to argue.

 

//

 

Louis technically didn’t need a shower.

 

His trousers were pretty ruined but Harry said he could borrow some to go home in. They decided to sleep there tonight, in Harry’s corner of the world.

 

The shower was warm, the water heavy with pressure. They climbed under the faucet and Louis smiled up as Harry’s hair straightened under the water.

 

He cupped his neck; hair trapped under his hand, thumb brushing into the strands.

 

“Nice,” he complimented, trying to lighten the mood.

 

Harry took the offering and smiled back; all dimples. Louis awed at the sight.

 

“Nice, too,” Harry said, flicking his eyes down Louis’ wet body.

 

Louis smiled out of one side of his mouth, short and wry.

 

Harry frowned, taking his chin in his large hand.

 

“Nice, too,” he said again, his green eyes earnest.

 

Louis blinked, lashes defending his eyes from the water running down. He swallowed.

 

“Nice enough?” He ventured back.

 

“Of course,” Harry husked, forgetting his confusion, his weakened state for a moment to concentrate on Louis.

 

Louis shook his head, doubting.

 

“Would you…” he swallowed again.

 

“Would I?” Harry prompted.

 

“Would you be here with me, if it wasn’t for the money?” He asked.

 

Harry’s breath hitched. _Fuck!_ He’d almost forgotten about that. In amongst these treasured, beautiful moments, he’d almost forgotten about their agreement.

 

It was an easy question to answer, but he was going to regret being truthful.

 

“Yeah,” he said all low and husky.

 

Louis’ eyes came up; searching. Harry gazed back, laying a gentle kiss to his lips.

 

“Don’t pay me,” he said a challenge.

 

Louis made a face, a wince.

 

“I mean it,” Harry said.

 

“I believe you,” Louis said only.

 

Harry blinked, the water in his lashes now, making it hard to see. He turned off the shower and folded Louis into his arms.

 

Fuck it if he wasn’t starting to care. Too fucking much. Too fucking much over this little package of sweet sexiness. He needed a lobotomy or something. Maybe just some coke. Perhaps it was withdrawal, his brain pickling without his drugs to stabilize him. He certainly wasn’t used to feeling things. No, he liked the numbness. But Christ, if Louis wasn’t clutching onto him like he would disappear any second.

 

“Lou,” he murmured, not sure where he was going with that. He squeezed him tighter instead.

 

Harry let them out of the shower; drying them off and dressing into basketball shorts and a jersey- it was the best he could manage, he mused. Louis chose some way-too-big slouch pants and one of Harry’s tee shirts; not so small that he didn’t fill them out nicely, but they gapped a bit on his shoulders.

 

Harry regarded him fondly as they fell on the bed; facing. He boldly stuck out his arm and pressed the side of his wrist into Louis’ side, like he might’ve if he was sixteen with a boy he liked. He was reminded once again of Louis’ almost-innocence and how that brought out his youthful side.

 

Louis smiled and wriggled closer, his eyes crinkling.

 

 _Better?_ , his sparkling eyes seemed to ask. Harry made a ‘humph’ noise and wriggled closer himself; bringing them together. He pressed his lips to Louis’ forehead. It was a sappy thing, really. Some kind of stupid tenderness that Harry wouldn’t normally entertain. Except when Louis was in his arms, it felt like he’d entertain anything, to be honest.

 

He felt Louis kiss his jaw.

 

“I love your flat,” he hummed as his eyes blinked tiredly shut. “Thank you for bringing me.”

 

Harry pulled him close and cuddled him; He didn’t care how uncomfortable it was, or how much of a mush he was being.

 

“Sweet dreams, Lou,” he murmured into the dark.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy!!! Thank you SO much for comments and kudos.
> 
> Just to let you know I am working on a Stockholm Syndrome based one-shot, if you have ready any other good ones let me know:)
> 
> The song in the chapter is by The Vamps!
> 
> Oh and don't forget to vote for your fave fanfics in the Google Larry fanfic awards!
> 
> Ang

** CHAPTER 7 **

 

Louis, naturally, was late for work.

 

Despite having to creep out of Harry’s flat to get Jake to take him home for a change of clothes; he still wound up late. He was regretting leaving Harry’s bed of course. Being in his arms that way was maybe the best night of his life, but he could hardly admit that to himself, let alone anyone else.

 

He was a little green when it came to experience, he could admit that much. Harry couldn’t work out how he’d had sex and not done anything in between, but Louis had been deliberately evasive about that because he didn’t want Harry to know the truth.

 

Where Harry’s sexual partners probably ran into the hundreds, Louis had had only one. He had kissed a few others; had the odd secret make-out, but he’d only slept with one guy since his official coming out four years ago.

 

And yes, he’d had dick in his ass and yes, he’d had his dick in someone else’s ass, but that was it. One time, each way. After that, Louis’ boyfriend had broken up with him. Told him they were ‘incompatible’ and gone out with a porn star.

 

Louis knew what incompatible meant. It meant he was shit in bed.

 

And so, his question to Harry last night had been important. Because he simply had to know what Harry liked in order to have any chance of keeping him. Once he found out Louis was…inadequate...then Louis would be alone once more.

 

For such an assured, good-looking guy, nobody would know he suffered this huge burden to his confidence. But maybe he had finally found somebody who cared enough to find out, he hoped. Maybe Harry would be that person since he was _paying_ him to be patient, to wait.

 

It wasn’t ideal, he knew. He sighed out. But it was what it was.

 

//

 

Harry awoke with a start, an instant grin splitting his face.

 

Oh man…. _Louis_.

 

He turned in bed, greeted with an empty space.

 

He pouted. _No Louis_.

 

He reached for the folded paper rested on the pillow.

 

_Had to go work, I’m so sorry. Wanted to be there when you woke. See you tonight. Louis x_

He rolled on his back and let the mushroom of happy warmth burst in his chest.

 

Jesus Fucking Christ, he was like a schoolgirl with a crush. And fuck it if he didn’t care, either.

 

He hopped up, grabbing his keys, jamming his shoes on. He may as well have a swim and work-out. He’d see Louis later. He wiped the back of his hand across his lips, trying to wipe off his smile. _He was seeing Louis later!_

 

Fuck. He needed a drink.

 

//

 

It wasn’t that Harry’s heart wasn’t in the performance- it always was. But something was missing.

 

When he padded back to his changing room with Zayn at his side, his minder explained what is was.

 

“Mr. Tomlinson passed on his regret at not being able to attend tonight,” Zayn said.

 

Harry frowned, turning his head sharply, letting out a soft ‘ow’ as a pain shot down his neck.

 

“Is everything okay?” Harry asked, as nonchalantly as he could manage.

 

Zayn gave Harry one of his looks. One of his ‘no, it’s not okay’ looks.

 

“Is he okay? What’s happened?” Harry panicked.

 

Zayn chuckled, grasping his elbows as Harry pushed forward toward him, as if he could suck the answers out by osmosis.

 

“He’s fine,” he said firstly, then after a swallow. “Jack’s banned him.”

 

Harry’s mouth fell open. The fact he was wearing blusher and lip-gloss made him look all the more ridiculous. He didn’t care.

 

“What the fuck?” He gasped. “Why?”

 

Zayn shrugged. “Word’s getting round about you two. He thinks if he’s sat in the club watching then the other punters will feel like _they’re_ being watched. Jack thinks he’s controlling…” he added.

 

Harry laughed loud, sharp and bitter.

 

“ _Jack_ thinks Louis is controlling?” He checked. “That's fucking hilarious.”

 

Zayn nodded.

 

“He sits at the back, he’s never made a scene…he knows you’re here to protect me,” he added.

 

Harry’s minder cast him a fond glance.

 

“Right. Only Louis gets to touch, I know what you told me.”

 

Harry gave a funny little sheepish grin.

 

“Well, I didn’t want you throwing him down,” he mumbled.

 

Zayn laughed.

 

“So, can he still wait for me outside?” Harry checked.

 

Zayn nodded. “He’s out there now.”

 

“Good,” Harry sighed. “But I need to speak to Jack. Can you believe that guy?” Harry added. “He’s the one that sold me to Louis for an unlimited time and now he’s putting on the brakes…”

 

“You’re his biggest income, Harry,” Zayn counseled.

 

“But he’s making a packet from Lou,” he argued. “If Louis turned around and said the deal was off, Jack would let him in then,” he argued.

 

“That’s the thing,” Zayn mused. “I think he knows that Louis won’t call it off…”

 

Harry made a derogatory noise; beckoning Zayn through to the shower room so they continue their chat while Harry showered.

 

“I think he would!” Harry yelled over the glass divide. “How would Jack like it then?”

 

Zayn waited for Harry to exit the shower before he spoke again. He discreetly turned away while Harry was changing and that’s why Harry loved him so much. Probably the only guy in this place that actually respected his feelings.

 

“Jack knows he won’t let you go,” Zayn said.

 

Harry laughed.

 

“Okay, so let me get this right. You think Louis is willing to pay all this money to be with me- to just spend time with me,” he added pointedly of their arrangement, “…and not get to see me dance?”

 

“Yes,” Zayn replied honestly to his posed question.

 

Harry turned down his lips. Evidently he was onto something because that’s exactly what Louis had done tonight.

 

Harry had gotten dressed and dashed out onto the sidewalk, as if lingering in the changing room would mean he’d miss his ride home. He smiled with relief as Jake, the car and Louis came into sight.

 

“No love bites!” Jack squawked from behind him.

 

Harry really, _really_ wanted to turn around and give him a few pieces of his mind, but now was not the time. Louis was waiting. He stuck his middle finger up, muttering ‘fuck you’, and ducked into the car.

 

He felt antsy tonight; all energy and bounce. He couldn’t keep his knee still as it jigged away in the car.

 

Louis smirked at him.

 

“You okay?” He checked.

 

Harry nodded his smile quick and boyish. _Wow_. Louis tried not to stare.

 

“I have an admission to make,” Louis began.

 

“Jack banned you, I know,” he sighed. “Don’t worry about it; I’ll sort that out tomorrow…”

 

Louis shook his head.

 

“That wasn’t my admission,” he offered.

 

“Oh,” Harry frowned, looking to him. His smile soon came back as he took in Louis’ soft look, the warmth in his eyes. “What is it, then?”

 

“I’ve put your name down for an open mic night. It’s at a little place I know. We’re going now.” He said.

 

Harry turned to him, mouth wide open. Louis flicked his eyes down, brought them back to Harry’s with lust in them.

 

“You don’t have to,” Louis added.

 

Harry shut his mouth and licked his lips.

 

“No, it sounds good,” he said then. Because what he wanted Louis to do to his mouth was not thinkable. He couldn’t think it, didn’t want to think it-fuck, who was he kidding.

 

He couldn’t _un_ think it more like.

 

Louis nodded. He looked back over. Harry seemed to read his mind because he pushed his hand across the gap between their seats. Louis twined their fingers with a smile.

 

//

 

The bar was small, intimate and…well, nice. Harry hadn’t often found himself in places like this and he flicked a look down his jeans-boots-tee combo and swallowed.

 

“You look fine,” Louis lifted up his chin, producing that green scarf he’d bought on their day shopping.

 

He hunched patiently while Louis tied the thing around his hair; tethering his curls. He grinned; showing off his pearly whites and both his dimples too.

 

Louis kissed him, not really able _not_ to.

 

Harry stood straight.

 

“Do I look okay?” He asked.

 

Louis twined their fingers again and nodded, leading him in.

 

He was playing third which was something of a godsend because at least he couldn’t get too nervous. Not that he needed to. Everyone here was about his level, he’d fit right in.

 

He’d had to borrow a guitar- the guy before him kindly lent his and Harry carried it up to the stage, chewing his lip as he looked out.

 

“Uh this one’s for Louis,” he said into the mic before he began strumming.

 

_People like to talk, But I can't understand a word,_

_They threw us to the wolves,_

_But I can't say I'm stronger now,_

_My backs against the wall, I_

_'m drifting door to door,_

_No I can't rest._

_We just lay awake,_

_But tell me now is that just one big, stupid mistake._

_Cause I can't get you off my mind,_

_I'm drifting day to day,_

_I just lay awake,_

_No I can't sleep._

_I close my eyes,_

_And you are here, With me tonight._

_In another world,_

_Oh I know, I know, I know, I know that,_

_Y_ _ou would be my guy._

_And nothing would tear us apart._

_Another universe,_

_The stars would light the way for just, the two of us._

_And nothing would tear us apart._

_Oh-woah, in another world,_

_Oh-woah, just the two of us, Oh-woah_

_A special place in time,_

_I_ _'ll put it in a bottle, I'll go back through my mind._

_I'm up above the clouds,_

_Till I come, crashing back to earth._

_Cause I know this can't work. and that's when it hurts,_

_I close my eyes,_

_And you are here,_

_With me tonight. Tonight._

_In another world,_

_Oh I know, I know, I know, I know that,_

_Y_ _ou would be my guy._

_And nothing would tear us apart._

_Another universe,_

_T_ _he stars would light the way for just,_

_The two of us._

_And nothing would tear us apart._

_Oh-woah, in another world, O_

_h-woah, just the two of us,_

_Oh-woah,_

_And nothing would tear us apart_.

  
 

He looked up once his song ended; taking a little bow to the loud applause. He bounded happily down the stairs back to the floor and was accosted by a girl who had decided to wrap her arms around him and kiss him.

 

He quickly-but gently- peeled her off.

 

“Whoa, lady…I’m gay,” he said, holding her at arms length.

 

“You are?” She pouted.

 

Harry flicked his eyes to the table he knew Louis was sat at. He pointed when he saw him, watching them, intently.

 

“Yeah, see? There’s my guy right there.”

 

The girl sighed.

 

“Oh wow, he’s beautiful.”

 

Harry nodded. “He is.”

 

She flicked her eyes over Harry.

 

“You too.”

 

“Beautiful people,” he arched a brow, trying to lighten the moment.

 

The girl- Lacey her name was- went back to her seat after a moment of small talk. Harry headed back to the table, plopping down next to Louis.

 

Louis didn’t get to open his mouth before Harry turned; cupped the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. A long, thorough, thank-you kiss.

 

Louis shook his head slightly as Harry pulled away.

 

“That was awesome, thank you so much for bringing me!” He beamed.

 

“Drink?” Louis asked.

 

Harry nodded and ordered a beer. He drank it slowly, delighting in his surroundings. He could see himself doing this more often. It was completely different to the precise art of pole-dancing but it held so much more excitement for him. The only trouble was, he didn’t get paid to play guitar. His lips pointed downwards.

 

“What?” Louis asked, softly, leaning toward him.

 

“Nothing,” he assured.

 

“Tell me,” he urged.

 

Harry sighed again. “Just…if I could get paid to do this I think I would. Instead of dancing,” he said then.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“You love it,” he stated.

 

Harry nodded slowly, a bitter-sweet smile flashing across his lips.

 

“Never mind, maybe I can do more after work like tonight,” he brightened.

 

Louis reached across to Harry’s thighs and picked up his hand that curved there. He interlaced their fingers.

 

“I could help you out with that, you know,” he suggested.

 

Harry stared at him, horrified.

 

“No way,” he said right off.

 

Louis was glad he didn’t have to explain his meaning.

 

“I have more than enough money…” He offered casually.

 

“No, you already pay more than enough for me…for nothing,” he added. “Just to have me _there_ ,” he argued.

 

“But…if you left the club, I wouldn’t have to pay Jack his cut,” Louis suggested. “I could just pay you full time.”

 

Harry took his hand back, staring at his fingers.

 

“So I’m like a maid?” He guessed. “Another contract?”

 

Louis gasped.

 

“No, of course not!” he denied quickly.

 

“But you’d be paying me to just…do what I wanted,” he bemused.

 

“I hope I already do…” Louis murmured.

 

Harry maybe hadn’t realized until that minute exactly what was going on here. He’d maybe ignored it, been numb to it, hadn’t really cared.

 

“Jack was right,” Harry frowned, not believing those words were coming from his mouth.

 

“Beg your pardon?” Louis said in that traditionally British way that he could never deny.

 

“You want to control me…”

 

Louis let out a short burst of bemused laughter.

 

“Wh-I…” Louis failed to find the words to cover it. “I’m trying to buy your freedom,” he argued, his eyes showing his shock and hurt.

 

Harry stood up, quickly walking from the bar because he didn’t want to hurt Louis. He hadn’t meant to, he just couldn’t understand how anybody could want him so much as to _pay for him_ to do what he loved.

 

He wiped away his tears as Louis caught up, but it was too late, the shorter man had caught them. They were still falling, slow and jagged in little reams down his face. He sniffed to try and hold them in.

 

Louis paused.

 

“Harry, do you think I’m controlling you?” He asked, his voice betraying his utter devastation.

 

Harry shook his head. He saw Louis let out a sigh of relief. And then he was being held. In those lovely arms. Those lovely sexy, strong arms. He let himself be held, maybe for the first time, ever.

 

And anyway, what was with these tears? He really needed to get a handle on that.

 

Louis got him into the car and home; keeping him close, plopping them on the sofa where he cuddled him; feet folded under his body as he pulled Harry’s larger, wider form close and kissed his hair while he cried.

 

It was quite a long night, all in all. Harry had settled in Louis’ lap and fallen asleep while Louis knocked his head back and slept sitting up; his hands caringly placed on Harry’s shoulders.

 

Harry stirred in the night; wriggling onto his back. Louis snapped-to, working the crick out of his neck.

 

“I’m sorry,” Harry said tiredly, eyes devoid of emotion.

 

The tip of his nose was pink; his lips were ravaged by his teeth. Louis would have married him right then if he’d let him.

 

“It’s okay.” Louis assured.

 

“I don’t know why I said that I just-” He gulped back his sobs. He swallowed, several times. “I just don’t know why you want me,” he whispered as hot, stinging tears tracked down his face.

 

Louis had to fight his very being not to flip him over and fuck him; an instinctive reaction to how he was going to show Harry just how much he wanted him.

 

He cleared his throat. He didn’t have an answer.

 

“Are you hungry?” He asked quietly.

 

Mostly because he knew Harry would be. Partly because it would break this tension and give Harry time to calm down. Harry nodded.

 

“What do you fancy?” He asked.

 

“You,” Harry replied, with his littlest teasing grin. Just the tips of his mouth curved up and Louis almost groaned out loud.

 

“To eat,” Louis specified. “From a food group,” he added knowingly.

 

Harry’s eyes twinkled in that way that made Louis’ stomach drop. He might even believe he was in love with him if his mind entertained such foolishness. It didn’t.

 

Harry licked his lips and swallowed.

 

“Cake?” He said.

 

Louis breathed out a snort of amused air, gently dislodging Harry to get up.

 

“Alright, I’m sure I can find something,” he promised.

 

Harry curled back into the warm space he left on the sofa.

 

//

 

Louis had never slept on his sofa before. The last time he’d slept on a sofa was probably in his Uni days; piled in with his friends, hungover from the night before.

 

It didn’t really compare, to be honest.

 

Harry had been asleep by the time Louis came back with cake- a whole five minutes later- and he’d sighed softly; curling up behind him and holding him tight.

 

Strangely, he wasn’t being crushed into the back of the sofa, which he expected. Harry had turned in the night and was in his arms; nose pressed to his throat.

 

As he woke, Louis felt him nuzzle there, moaning softly and kissing at the skin.

 

“Morning,” Louis husked; wriggling down; throwing his leg across Harry’s body to envelope him.

 

Harry giggled. Low and throaty, barely a giggle, but it was delighted and that made Louis smile.

 

“Hiii,” Harry greeted; obviously in happy-mode.

 

Louis kissed his temple.

 

“Mm, stay here, don’t move,” he begged of Harry’s wriggling.

 

Harry reached up, kissed his jaw again.

 

“Thank you,” he said.

 

Louis sucked in a breath.

 

“What on earth for?” he wondered.

 

“For this,” Harry mumbled.

 

Louis melted a little. He let his leg slide between Harry’s, tightened there between his thighs. He smiled; kissing Harry’s forehead.

 

“I never knew the sofa had this potential,” he said then.

 

“Oh man,” Harry sighed with a wide grin as he tossed his head back; onto Louis’ arm that rested under it. “You’ve never done this?”

 

Louis shook his head.

 

Harry swallowed. “Is it wrong that I like being the first to get to do it with you?”

 

Louis struggled to breathe. He leaned down and kissed Harry’s mouth, dipping his chin deep into his chest to reach; receiving a lazy and beautiful kiss back.

 

He settled back against him; tightening his arms to bring Harry’s head onto his shoulder and his body close.

 

“You asked me why I am the way I am,” Louis said then.

 

This seemed like a good moment to explain it. Harry dug his elbows into the sofa to try and lean up but Louis squeezed him.

 

“Please don’t move,” he begged gently. Harry settled back in his arms.

 

“Why?” Harry prompted huskily.

 

“I didn’t come out until I was 28,” Louis explained. “The only friends I had were work friends since I’m a workaholic and back then, I stupidly thought those people were loyal…”

 

Harry kissed his jaw again. Louis returned it with one to his nose.

 

“When I told them I was gay, it all fell apart,” he admitted. “But for the first time, I was able to have a boyfriend…”

 

“That’s the first time?” Harry piped up. “You didn’t have sex until you were twenty eight?!”

 

Louis made an uncomfortable face.

 

“Which is why I wanted the contract,” he admitted. “Because you had to know what I was about, why I wasn’t just taking you home to fuck you…”

 

Harry sighed. “I’m glad I didn’t read it. I like finding out this way- from _you_.”

 

Louis nodded.

 

“Well, there’s more,” he said awkwardly.

 

He felt Harry grasp his top in little fists; like a baby clawing for its mother’s attention.

 

“I only ever slept with one guy,” he admitted. “It was one night, we had sex- both ways,” he added. “But-”

 

“But?” Harry asked, fearing the worst. Had Louis been hurt? Raped even?

 

“But I was no good,” he finished with a heavy sigh.

 

Harry didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He chose the former.

 

“You are joking, right?” He arched a brow.

 

Louis shook his head; tightening his arms as if Harry might jump out of them at this news.

 

“I was dumped. Because I’m shit in bed,” Louis recounted candidly and Harry wondered if he was rubbing off on him after all.

 

“Well that’s a load of bull,” Harry stated.

 

Louis peered down at him. “How do you know, you haven’t slept with me.”

 

“How do I-!” Harry choked on his bark of laughter. “Fuck, Louis, do you think making me come while you were biting my neck might have been an indication?”

 

Louis all of a sudden loved the way Harry just blurted things out, crude and honest and…real.

 

He swallowed.

 

“And how about the time I was on my knees coming all over your face? You had nothing to do with it, right?” He arched a brow.

 

He struggled to sit up and this time Louis let him. He grasped Louis’ chin between thumb and forefinger, softening his touch to stroke at his beard.

 

“And how about my living room? How about the fact that you watching me dance was enough to make me blow my load?” He wondered. “Don’t tell me- coincidence,” he remarked wryly with an eye roll.

 

Louis opened his mouth. Nothing came out though, because it was covered with Harry’s mouth, soft and urgent and needy. His lips bit down, but in the softest way possible, as though those pinks buds were unable to express the desperation of his kiss. Louis thought that he might not, but he was surely giving it a good go; grasping him close and ravishing him. He could probably pass out from the way Harry was kissing him, it was that intense.

 

He whined, deep in the back of his throat and bucked his hips up, more to untangle his legs and get beneath Harry than to obtain friction, but Harry’s heavy weight between his thighs gave him friction anyway and he groaned at the sweet pleasure of it all. His fingers splayed into Harry’s curls; his body was deliciously crushed.

 

He couldn’t have been in a better position, really.

 

Harry pulled back, with long; sipping kisses that almost started something else; but he nuzzled Louis’ nose and drew back with a shuddering sigh.

 

“Fucking useless in bed, you are,” he cast, then, rubbing his dick against Louis’ too so that their bodies were connecting, rubbing and-

 

 _Oh_. Harry was doing this slow little jut with his hips into Louis’ just soft and nice and-

 

Okay, more than nice.

 

Louis’ eyes were locked with Harry’s; he didn’t think he could speak if his life depended on it. He just kept swallowing, trying to force down his emotions to find words.

 

“Fuck, you keep swallowing like that, I’ll give you something to choke on,” Harry murmured, his hips taking a deeper swoop, more a thrust this time. Dry thrust, Louis considered.

 

He quickly dragged off Harry’s t-shirt, running his hands over his torso; down toward his jeans. He managed to unbuckle those with shaky hands- he wasn’t sure how- and then he was pushing against the waistband; trying to force them over Harry’s more than adequate ass; which he did when Harry stopped grinding him long enough to let him. He revealed the pair of bright pink pants Harry had worn before, the pair that Louis had silently appreciated.

 

He wasn’t so quiet now. He ran his hands over his backside and moaned, tucking his thumbs under the stretchy waistband to drag those off, too.

 

“Louis, what’re you doing?” Harry whispered; kissing his neck.

 

“Giving you a blow job,” he decided; something that made Harry groan at.

 

“I’m on top,” he panted. “Should be me,” he added.

 

Louis shook his head; looking up under his lashes.

 

“In my mouth,” he said, staccato, hoping Harry understood.

 

“You want me to-” Harry swallowed. “Fuck your mouth?” he finished.

 

Even for a seasoned pro like him, he felt filthy saying it. He was really getting too soft, he mused.

 

“If you want,” Louis added.

 

Harry leaned forward, felt Louis brush his bristles gently up his column while his hands took him end to end and gently stroked.

 

“Oh fuck, Lou,” Harry was shaking his head as if denying he was letting this happen but in the same moment, he knew he couldn’t resist.

 

He shuffled up the sofa; straddling Louis’ chest; leaning his weight on his arms over his head and although he wanted to be able to turn around and 69 with him; he knew that would be too much for Louis right now. He’d probably not concentrate and bite his dick mid-orgasm. He frowned as that idea didn’t sound too horrible.

 

He really needed to get a grip.

 

Louis pursed his lips, kissing the very tip of Harry’s dick, making the tall lad moan out; in a filthy, obscene way that Louis had seen porn-stars do. He briefly wondered if Harry had ever been a porn star- because really, his size owed it to him- and then he fervently hoped not.

 

There was no way he could match up to that kind of standard and he was already having half a heart attack at suggesting he pleasure Harry this way.

 

Harry was careful not to lean in too much, just letting Louis lift his head; letting his tight mouth test his limits. He was sure Louis couldn’t even get half of him in that tiny mouth of his, but oh god, it was so tight in there- hot and wet and his hands; lubricated with two wide licks from his tongue; took the rest of him and gripped equally tight to compensate.

 

Honest to god; he’d never had head like this, Harry realized as Louis messily lapped at him, making him whine in his throat. Fuck that! He was nobody’s bitch!

 

Only…Actually maybe he was, he conceded as a whimper escaped his lips, his dick so tight and hard and Louis’ tongue lapping up the underside of it was ten kinds of sinful that he couldn’t count out right now.

 

“Yes, Lou, yes,” he panted as he rocked his hips, so carefully, he hoped so anyway because he couldn’t get enough of Louis’ tight mouth around him; slickening him up, eating him down.

 

He lunged as Louis made a pained cry of pleasure- all from taking him deep in his mouth and he heard Louis choke as he hit the back of his throat.

 

“Fuck, Lou, fuck! Sorry!” He gasped, leaning back.

 

Louis licked his lips. He was little messy, but Harry didn’t care. He was ruined. If Louis was ruined too then all the better. Their eyes met then, blown pupils mirrored and engaged. Harry began to rock his hips again, slower this time, more controlled.

 

He closed his eyes and squeezed them tight, knowing it was coming; the end to this fantastic, unbelievable blow-job was near. He sucked in a breath, felt his balls tighten and Louis’ lips brushed over his head, his tongue pushing through the top.

 

“Fuck!” Harry gasped, thrusting forward. “Fuck, Lou,” he tried to pull back, feeling it coming, He was going to shoot and it was going to be hard and not very pretty. He didn’t want to choke Louis on his first foray into oral.

 

But as he tried to back up; Louis’ hands grasped his butt and pulled him nearer.

 

“No,” he gasped, wide eyed, scrabbling his hands to try and push Louis off. “Lou…fuck! I’m going to…get off!” He warned.

 

Louis ignored his cries; his desperate attempts to withdraw and then it was too late. He was fucking into Louis' mouth; filling his throat with thick reams of his come; which Louis was surprisingly swallowing down.

 

“You did not just-” Harry groaned as another few jerks were rung out of his body, the last of his semen pumped into Louis’ mouth. “Fuck!”

 

Louis quickly wiped his mouth self-consciously but he needn’t have bothered because Harry shuffled down and kissed him- messily, on the mouth. He tasted his own seed there; curved his tongue to relieve Louis of it.

 

Louis lay back and bit his lips, swallowing a little between.

 

Harry had collapsed upon him, head buried in his neck. Louis stroked fingers through his hair and held Harry close as Harry just _sprawled_. Louis took it as a good sign that he was unable to move yet.

 

“Please can you now try and tell me you’re shit in bed,” Harry finally spoke.

 

Louis let out a limp laugh, his hands moving to Harry’s sides.

 

“Well, you must make me look good,” he decided.

 

Harry leaned up and blinked at him lazily.

 

“You did not just say that…”

 

Louis cleared his throat. “I mean, I’m better with you,” he tried again.

 

Harry kissed him, tender just how he knew Louis liked it. This tender kissing thing, he’d never had a liking for it before. In Louis’ arms, receiving his very loving kiss back, suddenly it became addictive.

 

“Louis,” Harry sighed. “You’re fucking amazing okay?”

 

Louis blinked. “Okay.”

 

“I think that other guy had the problem,” he added derisively.

 

“We never did this,” Louis considered.

 

“You n-” Harry shook his head; laying back against Louis’ body only this time he curled his arms right around him, digging under his body to make way. “Fuck me…” he sighed.

 

“We just had sex,” Louis added. “Just the one time. I-I didn’t like it, either…” He said then, as though he was only just admitting this fact.

 

“Did it hurt?” Harry guessed.

 

He heard Louis swallow. He tightened his arms, pressing his lips to his throat.

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

“Can’t always be fun for you either, right?” Louis ventured.

 

Harry didn’t like to talk about it, especially with the man in his arms, but he guessed he owed it to him to try.

 

“Not always,” he admitted.

 

“Harry?” Louis husked, biting his lip.

 

“Hmm?” Harry hummed, nuzzling his face into Louis’ chest.

 

“Will I be the last?” He asked.

 

Harry frowned. “How d’you mean?”

 

“After me, will you not sleep with other guys anymore?” He begged.

 

Harry swallowed. Could he make a promise like that? He maybe wanted to.

 

“I want you to be the last,” he admitted. And it was probably all kinds of epic and definitely needed a line of coke and a pint of scotch, but still, he’d said it and he couldn’t take it back.

 

He felt Louis kiss down by his ear; once twice, three times.

 

“I want to be the last, too,” he murmured, laboring a sigh from his lungs.

 

//

 

 

They’d stayed like that awhile, not sleeping exactly, just snoozy and close. Harry had swapped to underneath to save Louis’ ‘poor little body’ from being crushed as he’d put it and Louis had gladly lay on Harry’s chest awhile.

 

In those moments, in the hours that melted away together like that, Louis could forget everything else.

 

He both liked and didn’t like the fact he could be himself with Harry. It was kind of a pleasant side-effect of this whole experience- having someone who understood him, even with his lack of words and sometimes-lack of emotions.

 

Harry wrapped Louis up in his arms and ached for what Louis had been through. Coming out so late in his life, having friends shun him…having a douche boyfriend who fucked him with no foreplay. No wonder the guy thought he was shit in bed. He’d had a shit introduction to everything.

 

Harry rubbed his chin into Louis’ hair as he fidgeted, glad he was able to at least teach Louis that much. He didn’t know when this arrangement was going to end, _how_ it was going to end. But he knew that when it did, he would miss this.

 

He would miss holding him, kissing him, teaching him new things. He supposed that would be somebody else’s pleasure, then, he sighed. He was just the introduction to Louis’ otherwise experienced sex-life. Although…

 

Although he wanted to be Harry’s last. And by any stretch of the imagination, he knew that couldn’t mean forever. He just meant that after this- after them, he wanted Harry to have sex out of love.

 

And anybody would want that for him, really, he supposed. Anybody that cared.

 

It was probably nearing midday and Harry had to get up, eat and get working out for his show tonight. Definitely eat, he mused as his tummy growled hungrily.

 

Louis shifted; sitting up.

 

“I’ll ask Emma to make us some lunch,” Louis said.

 

“Great, I’m ravenous,” Harry agreed.

 

Louis smiled and got up with a stretch of his body; right in front of Harry’s happy eyes.

 

“Nice little package, aren’t you?” Harry admired with a husky voice.

 

Louis didn’t take the ‘little’ as an insult. Harry was glad, he didn’t want him to.

 

“Fits nicely with yours, I’d say,” Louis returned, making Harry smile in that stupid-sappy way he hated.

 

“Go and shower,” he told him. “I’m jumping straight in the pool.”

 

It was only halfway up the stairs that Louis realized. Harry was going to swim naked.

 

He swallowed down his attraction and carried on climbing.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK I'm so confused I updated on the 24th but it's not showing...I'm so sorry I don't know what's happened but I didn't mean to take this long to update.
> 
> IF ANYONE HAD THAT'S ME IN THE SPOTLIGHT SAVED PLEASE PLEASE POST A COMMENT!!!
> 
> I love you all
> 
> Ang

** CHAPTER 8 **

 

 

Harry sat down with Jack several hours later, right before he was due on stage. He was pushing the boundaries tonight; wearing a pink negligee and false eyelashes with pink lip gloss. Jack didn’t bat an eyelid as he sat down.

 

“Harry, I know what you’re going to say,” he gruffed.

 

“Good, then maybe you can save me from saying it and just let Louis come to the show,” he said back.

 

Jack made a pained face.

 

“It’s known now that you two are…” He paused. “Well what are you? Dating?”

 

Harry shrugged. “Just sleeping together right? Like I did with a guy every night before that,” he enunciated slowly.

 

“Different guys, though,” Jack waved a dismissive hand. “Means anyone thinks they can have a go.”

 

Harry clenched his teeth together at that remark.

 

“And that’s what you’re worried about isn’t it, Jack?” He asked, too sweetly for anyone that knew him. “You’re worried that I won’t be a slut anymore…”

 

Jack shrugged. “Basically, yes.”

 

“I can still do the show without fucking every member of the audience,” Harry frowned.

 

“But you’re availability is what draws them in,” he reminded.

 

Harry arched a brow. He still had the trump card.

 

“If you don’t let Louis in tonight, I won’t do the show,” he folded his arms.

 

Jack flicked him a look. He must have thought Harry was bluffing.

 

“Please. Like you care. He’s paying to fuck you, not to watch you dance…”

 

“No, I do that for free,” Harry replied smartly. “But you’re wrong. I do care. He’s either allowed in, or I don’t go on,” he stated again.

 

Jack narrowed his eyes.

 

“I can replace you in a flash,” he warned.

 

Harry smirked. “But you won’t get the kind of income I bring in,” he smirked. “Even with Louis, I’d still get more and you know it.”

 

Jack sat back.

 

“He’s to sit out of sight,” He bargained.

 

Harry smiled nicely. “He’ll sit where he wants,” he said and got up.

 

//

 

Louis wasn’t sure, on a scale of 1-10, how wrong it was to find a guy attractive when he was dressed like a woman.

 

He guessed it couldn’t really be more than a five because let’s face it; Harry still had that very male body part that couldn’t be ignored and a lovely muscular body to go with it.

 

Yes, he had put on a little weight, Louis could see. Enough to look breath-taking as he swung around his pole.

 

It was odd seeing him in a baby-doll; with make up, but not altogether horrible. He liked watching from the back where no-one could see the bulge in his trousers.

 

He sidled over to Zayn who flicked his eyes about the room, watching for anyone who might be posing a threat to Harry, but he smiled as Louis approached.

 

“Hey,” Zayn lifted his chin.

 

“Can you tell him not to change?” Louis asked, not feeling as embarrassed as he should about that request. Really, his cheeks ought to be flaming but the only thing that was on fire was his crotch.

 

Zayn smirked.

 

“Sure.”

 

“Thanks,” Louis nodded, about to disappear into the shadows.

 

“Hey, Tomlinson,” Zayn called so that Louis turned back toward him.

 

“Hm?” Louis lifted his brows.

 

“You’re looking after him right? I mean, I’ve seen him with guy after guy but not for this long…are you taking care of him?”

 

Louis swallowed. Thank God Harry had someone who cared.

 

“Yes. I am. You're quite welcome to ask Harry,” he added.

 

Zayn nodded.

 

“Well, he’d never say anything either way but I think he’s happy with you. You’re good for him.”

 

Louis felt an unguarded smile stretch his lips, crinkling his eyes.

 

“I hope so…”

 

“I know you like him,” Zayn said and it almost sounded like an accusation. A fond one all the same.

 

Louis nodded. He didn’t feel the need to hide anything from Harry’s minder.

 

“I do,” he agreed.

 

“More than the others,” Zayn added. “Harry’s been barely holding it together since being pimped out…he’s lost himself. I think you’re helping him get something back.”

 

Louis wondered why Zayn felt the need to tell him all this.

 

“Don’t let this deal ruin it,” he said and Louis darted him a look.

 

“What?” He questioned, his eyes flicking to Harry as he performed his feats of magic on the pole.

 

“I know Harry; this won’t sit right with him if feelings are involved…”

 

Louis swallowed. He had the exact same fear. Harry would want to run from whatever he was feeling, probably the same way Louis wanted to run toward it.

 

“I can’t make him stay,” Louis murmured, his thoughts spoken aloud.

 

“Cancel the deal, he’ll know it’s real with you then,” Zayn suggested.

 

Louis looked at the guard.

 

“The only way he’ll take my money is if I’m buying him,” Louis shared candidly. “And that’s the only thing I can use to get him doing what he _really_ loves…”

 

Zayn studied him for a moment, kind-of awed.

 

“You’ve really thought about this.”

 

Louis nodded, just once, short and sharp.

 

“Of course,” he answered, annoyed. Why wouldn’t he have? He wanted Harry to have an amazing life and that took a lot of planning but so what? It was _working_.

 

“Just-” Zayn coughed. “Just be careful,” he counseled. “Harry’s more vulnerable than you think.”

 

Louis nodded again. No, he knew exactly how vulnerable Harry was. How strong he liked people to see him. And he was strong, too. But Louis knew that anything real for him would also be very scary because he’d never had it before.

 

The same way that Louis had never let anyone in. Only he purged on it, welcomed Harry with open arms to tromp around in his heart, and he could stamp on it, sure, but Louis didn’t care. At least he was _feeling_.

 

“I’ll take care of him, Zayn,” he promised softly. “For as long as he’ll let me…”

 

//

 

Zayn was striding along with Harry toward the dressing room.

 

“Hey, angel delight,” Zayn nicknamed fondly.

 

Harry punched him in the arm-quite hard because he rubbed it afterwards.

 

“What is it, Action-Man?”

 

“Don’t get changed,” he said.

 

Harry gave him a bemused little giggle.

 

“W-what?”

 

“Louis said,” Zayn added. “Don’t get changed.”

 

Harry paused. _Okay, this was a tad awkward._ His pretend-boyfriend passing messages onto his minder about wanting him to come home in his negligee. He bit at his lip.

 

“Okay, thanks,” he said simply and pulled on his jeans and t-shirt over the flimsy material of the nightdress, quickly dabbing off the excess moisture on his face with a powder puff. He smudged in his blusher and reapplied lip gloss, wiping the sweat from his eye lids with a tissue.

 

Well, he’d have to do, what was he, the Queen of Sheba?

 

He flounced out, not quite aware that his feminine clothes exaggerated his hip-wiggle or the way he could look like a girl sometimes. Not that he cared but.

 

Louis watched Harry approach with attraction-come-confusion lacing his veins. He really shouldn’t like this so much, he thought. What if Harry thought he was weird or worse, perverted?

 

As Harry approached the car, he didn’t slide right in.

 

“Hey, creep,” he greeted with a sexy-fond smile.

 

Louis released the door handle to let him in.

 

“Only for you,” Louis assured as Harry rolled in.

 

Harry crossed his legs deliberately girlishly; toward Louis, slinging his arm across the back of the seat to play fingers into his hair.

 

“Well, hello, sailor,” he husked, not pretending to be shrill.

 

Louis was glad. He maybe liked Harry's deep voice the most.

 

He kissed Harry on the mouth.

 

“Hello, pretty,” he teased right back; his eyes narrowing in happiness.

 

“Who you calling pretty?” Harry arched a brow, juxtaposing his make-up, his look.

 

“You, butch,” Louis smirked, placing an owning hand on Harry’s thigh.

 

Harry leaned back, uncrossing his legs, but keeping his arm about Louis’ shoulders.

 

“So, you like the make-up?” He asked, genuinely intrigued.

 

“Mm-hm,” Louis nodded, not sure he was capable of words.

 

“How much?” Harry asked.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

Harry ducked his nose into his ear. “How much?” He murmured.

 

Louis squeezed his thigh reflexively.

 

“A lot,” Louis breathed.

 

Harry tilted his head and kissed his neck, running his tongue through his beard; then dragging his lips down his jaw. His lips were red when he climbed into Louis’ lap, straddling him.

 

“How much?” He asked again, letting Louis tug him close for a kiss, a devastating kiss that almost combusted them both.

 

“A lot,” Louis repeated, his breath hot and scented with bourbon.

 

He was already hard in his lap. Harry hung onto his neck and leaned back with a dimpled grin.

 

“Enough to let me do something?” He wondered.

 

Louis made a bemused face.

 

“You don’t have to ask, I-” Harry interrupted him with a finger to his lips.

 

He leaned forward again, tightening his fingers around Louis’ neck. Louis considered Harry's hands to be the most amazing hands. All gentle and caring and- well, masculine, he realized conjunctively to his appearance tonight.

 

Harry’s lips had reached his ear.

 

“Enough to say…let me fuck your thighs?” Harry husked.

 

Louis sucked in air. _Holy shit_. That was hot. He blinked, looking back at Harry. He had no idea how to let him, but he knew he wanted to.

 

“Yes, please,” was all he said back.

 

//

 

It was pretty funny, Harry considered, stripping their clothes off as they tried to make progress through the house- the mansion, he corrected. _Chez Louis_.

 

They were rolling down walls more than bouncing of them, fighting for flesh, for dominance, for God-knew-what, but it was really important they found it, he considered as his erection surged upward, freed by Louis’ hands.

 

“Don’t,” he warned as Louis went to touch. “M’not even gonna last long,” he panted.

 

Louis wrestled with him to the bedroom- Harry’s room that is, falling on the bed together and quickly taking positions, their passion too much to bear.

 

Harry’s make up was smudged, he was still wearing the pink frilly night-thing, but Louis caringly took it off him as he knelt between his legs; running his hands up Louis’ chest to peak his nipples.

 

“Harry!” Louis strangled, lifting his knees to try and stop Harry’s body brushing his hardness that way- in a way that would have him coming way-too-soon.

 

“Okay, okay,” Harry pushed his knees up further since they were kind-of in the right place. He paused. “Like this or on all fours?”

 

Louis swallowed. He needed to see Harry’s face, at least this first time.

 

“Like this. Please,” He added.

 

Harry smiled devilishly, propping his ankles on his shoulders. He leaned right forward, his dick rubbing up Louis’ crotch, rubbing his own aching need; making him spill pre-come over the tip.

 

“Please,” Louis breathed, grasping the bed sheets in a vain attempt to rid the feel of Harry from his hands. He was startled when Harry’s finger and thumb surrounded his base, squeezing.

 

He blinked.

 

“Should hold you off,” he winked, and Louis thought if he hadn’t already fallen for him, then that moment would have been it for him, gone, dead, and done.

 

He rolled his head to the side and let out a sound he hoped he’d never make again. It sounded like a mewl, a truly desperate cry. And he wasn’t even the one getting to do the fucking, whether it be between thighs or not…

 

He pressed his thighs together; following Harry's softly murmured instructions. It was nice being told what to do, it made things easier but the way he was telling him, kept that little edge of desire there; that atmosphere of need.

 

Harry brushed the underside of his dick against the tight press of Louis’ thighs, Louis bent his legs in a little, wondering if he was strangling him, but Harry just groaned and eased himself between Louis’ tight legs; muttering an amount of filthy things that Louis wasn’t sure he wanted to understand.

 

“Fuck…tight, fuck that, yeah-oh, Lou, fuck me…”

 

At least it sounded something like that and Louis didn’t know if he was meant to press tighter or not, so he flexed his inner thigh muscles testingly.

 

“Jesus-Fuck!” Harry swore, stilling. “Are you trying to fucking kill me?” He asked.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

“Maybe?” He offered. Harry stuck a finger tip in his mouth to shut him up and Louis instantly began to suck, knowing this trick only too well.

 

Harry seemed to like that because he began to thrust faster into Louis’ thighs and Louis wondered if he was meant to shave his legs or did the hair there not bother Harry? He’d never thought of his thighs as his favourite body part before; always believing them to be a little on the fat side, but for what they were doing right now, they were-

“Perfect,” Harry sighed. “So fucking perfect…Lou, fuck!” he panted.

 

Louis reached down, taking his erection into his hand now he could see Harry was close and since they’d practically jumped on each other since coming in the door, he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.

 

“Ah-ahh!” Harry was crying out with whimpers and little pained groans while Louis stroked himself; watching his pleasure.

 

Harry opened his eyes, blinking a few times to focus, pupils all blown out in dark green orbs.

 

Louis opened his mouth on seeing that look, that dark, incinerating look that not only told him how much Harry wanted to be doing this inside him; but gave him a shock of electric though his body as he realized he too wanted Harry to be doing this inside him.

 

He hadn’t felt it for years, hadn’t had that spark, that wash of arousal that made him want to be fucked. But the way Harry was fucking his thighs right now, oh god, he wished…

 

He knew he wasn’t ready for it, or he’d have told him to slip it in. He knew there was more to it, but Harry seemed to sense his urgency because he sucked his index finger and wiggled it into him; pushing a little to make it through the tight ring of muscle.

 

If it was too much, Louis didn’t say; he threw his head back, grasped his dick and pumped hard, tight and fast toward his end.

 

Harry was already gone; driving his digit deep into Louis as he pushed his cock through his legs; releasing semen onto his belly in heavy, slow spurts. Louis’ blew right after, adding to the pool of come.

 

“Holy God,” Harry sucked in a breath.

 

Louis stroked himself a few more times and let himself lay limp between his thighs; still buffered with Harry’s body.

 

“Lou, breathe in,” Harry husked. Louis did. “Out slowly,” he said and as he breathed out, Harry eased his finger out from his ass.

 

Louis blinked.

 

“Does it hurt?” Harry asked quickly.

 

Louis shook his head.

 

Harry vaulted up; Louis grateful for his youthful energy as he went in search of a towel and kindly helped him wipe his belly. Not before licking a stripe through it with his broad, rough tongue and ‘hmm’ing afterwards though. Louis wasn’t sure how he didn’t pass out from that.

 

Harry went and washed his face, glad to be free of make-up as he settled down in bed beside Louis. Louis who was still on his back and in awe.

 

“You okay?” Harry asked, leaning over to kiss him.

 

“Mm-hmm,” Louis agreed, tense and uneasy.

 

Harry smirked, propping on his elbow.

 

“What’s up?” he asked, languid, easy, confident like always.

 

Louis felt ridiculous in his stupid after-sex fear-thing.

 

“Nothing,” he shook his head quickly.

 

“Oh come on, give it up, Lou,” Harry nuzzled his throat, licking there.

 

Louis felt the tickle and sucked in a breath, letting out a tight puff of laughter. Harry did it again; swirling his tongue this time.

 

“Harry,” he laughed; curling up.

 

“Tell me,” Harry whined childishly. “Come on, tell meeee…”

 

Louis turned on his side.

 

“Nothing,” he swallowed, then. “Was I okay?”

 

He thought for a second Harry was going to get mad. Something crossed his features and he could almost hear him say sarcastically ‘No, you’re shit in bed’, but Harry seemed to know better than to mock this moment.

 

He kissed Louis’ mouth again, softly, just how he liked.

 

He swallowed, as if the words in his mouth had to be held back.

 

“Okay and then some,” Harry managed.

 

Louis melted; curling up toward Harry, pulling him into his arms.

 

And when he knew Harry was asleep, he kissed his hair and whispered;

 

“I’m falling for you.”

 

And Louis knew there was nothing he could do about it.

 

//

 

Waking up next to somebody was still strange.

 

Harry was in Louis’ arms of all places and he was so accustomed to being used and tossed away that he still didn’t know quite what to make of it. The first couple of times he’d enjoyed the novelty but now he wondered if novelty was becoming standard and it was a standard that he was afraid of getting attached to.

 

Except it felt so right. And good. So, so good.

 

He didn’t deserve good. He deserved much less. He was used to much less. He sighed, his face close to Louis’ as they seemed to mirror each other; sleeping on their fronts with their faces together. Harry turned onto his side; watching Louis sleep. He had these incredible eye lashes that were thick and long and when they sat on his cheeks like they did now, he looked so stunning. His face was relaxed and bore none of the lines it did when he smiled or frowned. He had lovely cheekbones; a kissable mouth- _oh-so kissable he remembered with a slip of a filthy grin_ \- and stubble that was probably considered too long for an office but Harry liked the feel of it on is skin. He liked the feel of _Louis_ full stop. And that was a dangerous way to be heading with his thoughts because it didn’t matter if he wanted Louis to be his last or if he was okay and then some; the point was, nothing could happen.

 

This was an arrangement, a contract without a signature. _It was a short term thing_. And he should be okay with that really; it was what he was used to, but he wasn’t okay with it. He so wasn’t okay with it he wondered sometimes how this would end.

 

He saw Louis’ eyes flutter; biting his lip as if his thoughts had woken him.

 

“Hm,” Louis hummed; a smile coming to his lips.

 

Harry was glad he wasn’t self conscious and shy about waking up to him. He’d give anything to see Louis smile and stretch that way every day.

 

“Morning,” Harry greeted softly.

 

Louis surprised him by leaning across for a kiss, before they’d brushed teeth, said hello properly or done anything considered polite etiquette for friends sharing a bed.

 

“Hi,” Louis’ eyes crinkled as he leaned back slightly and clutched his duvet.

 

Harry thought he could fall in love with his crinkle-eyed smile. But he reminded himself that was a fruitless task. No such thing, right? Love didn’t happen, that was some stupid movie pipe dream.

 

Harry leaned back toward him, memories of last night imprinted in his mind as he started up a kiss that told a few stories- mostly of how much his body needed Louis’ and how hard he could get thinking about it.

 

He pressed his body forward, pushing Louis into the bed a little. He began to thrust, just slowly, wondering how Louis wanted him to fix his early-morning boner. He wasn’t always kept around long enough to have the pleasure before but now he had the chance, he may as well show Louis what he could offer.

 

Louis grasped his face in small hands and pulled away slightly; opening his eyes to meet Harry’s.

 

Harry’s breath panted out, hot and sweet into Louis’ face. His eyes asked the question as to why Louis had stopped them.

 

“Have you ever just kissed?” Louis wondered.

 

Harry was a little taken-aback. _Fuck, no_. Who ‘just kissed’? He couldn’t help it; it was in his nature, kissing wasn’t enough. He was nearly programmed to get his owners hard and bring them off, no frills. Still, his time with Louis had already taught him otherwise.

 

He should probably feel embarrassed for diving straight in, but somehow he didn’t. Louis’ thumbs were tracing a tender pattern on his cheeks. He felt Louis shift; felt himself be turned onto his back; Louis changing places to press into him slightly before he lowered his head.

 

This time when their mouths joined; it felt erotic. He groaned weakly and curled his arms about Louis’ waist, drawing him close. Louis concentrated on kissing him; capturing his lower lip, sucking at it gently; moving to his upper lip to ensure it didn’t feel left out. And then he let their lips slide together; brushing, dragging, sipping. It was excruciating the way he worked; making Harry feel more turned on than if he had taken his dick right into his hand and fucked him with it.

 

It reminded him of how Louis kissed his fingertips; of how he made everything _wait_ until they wanted it so bad it tied him up inside. It reminded him of a lot of things, mostly filthy but he couldn’t quite work out how that was since it was only their mouths that were meeting.

 

He grasped Louis’ face to angle his head, trying to get him to deepen the kiss, trying to get more, to taste more, to take more. Louis was deliberately pacing himself; only letting their kiss deepen a fraction; slipping his tongue across Harry’s lower lip to ask for entry when he really didn’t need to because Harry’s mouth was already open for Louis’ tongue to invade.

 

Louis slipped his tongue inside, playing cat and mouse, darting in and out slowly before meshing their tongues together in a playful duel as if to assure Harry that he too wanted the more Harry was searching for.

 

It felt like fireworks were going off in Harry's belly; his chest couldn’t contain all the pleasure, the excitement at kissing this way, as though it were the only activity in the world worth taking part in and he was beginning to believe that, too.

 

He really didn’t think he could cope with much more than this. This beautiful, sensual connection of their mouths; this beyond-sexy tenderness that Louis spoilt him with.

 

It seemed like hours that they were kissing this way, all leisured and slow and-

 

 _Fuck_.

 

It was so sexy! Harry didn’t get how that could be so, how for five years he’d fucked every guy going and never felt as sexy as he did now, kissing Louis like both their lives depended on it. He was sure his lips were swollen, probably reddening with the contact. He was sure he’d be biting them sore later in memory. He was sure that every guy in the club would want to fuck him but none of them would do this, he was absolutely sure of that.

 

None of them would kiss him the way Louis was kissing him as though he deserved to be worshipped. He couldn’t think of anyone least deserving than himself but he wasn’t about to complain. In fact his throat was groaning out noises that barely began to express his desire, his arousal. Kissing shouldn’t be this hot, he shouldn’t be this hard. This was all kinds of wrong.

 

He’d literally never done this, never made out without…well making out.

 

It was so incredibly intense. He cupped Louis’ face, dug his fingers gently into his hair to grasp at his scalp; tried to twist his body to rub against Louis’, but it was no use. He couldn’t move this onto the very hot and hard friction he needed.

 

In fact, his body was peaking of its own accord, all sensitive and sweet little waves washing over his skin in electric beats, taking him away to a place he’d never believed he could reach without more than this. It was all kinds of crazy, definitely weird and really, really confusing because it was too much, almost, too much pleasure for him to bear.

 

It was enough to make him want to-

 

Harry groaned again as his hips rocked; a slow, sweet climax rippling through his body that he hadn’t believed would break. Louis was laying on him but he wasn’t rubbing or thrusting or any of those things that could justify this.

 

He clung to Louis lips with his own as the last of his seed pumped out; his eyes screwed shut and his body tensed. He captured Louis’ lips once more, not wanting to let go of this blissful moment.

 

When he opened his eyes, Louis looked very happy with himself. He brushed back Harry’s hair from his forehead.

 

“I never knew that could happen,” he marveled of Harry’s sensitivity.

 

Harry frowned, mouth open.

 

“Fuck, neither did I,” he panted; placing his hand as a guard over the come on his belly.

 

He looked around, trying to find reality, trying to find normal. He wasn’t sure he’d ever find it again after that.

 

//

 

Harry’s stage performance that night was a bit of a blur. He did what he needed to do and came out of the venue afterwards, glad of his anonymity in the darkness of night; glad his t-shirt and jeans disguised him from the grabby hands and creepy faces in his audience.

 

Nobody really _wanted_ him when he was dressed like this, unless he was going home with them.

 

 _Nobody but Louis_ , his brain supplied subconsciously. He kicked that idea out.

 

He came up beside the car, greeting Jake before smirking at Louis.

 

“I’m taking you somewhere,” he said and Louis lifted his brows.

 

“Oh?” He popped open the door and Harry grabbed Louis’ hand, pulling him from the car with an insistent tug.

 

Louis frowned, a little nervousness showing in his gaze and the tension in his body.

 

“You don’t have to look so worried,” Harry remarked teasingly.

 

“Where are we going?” Louis wondered.

 

“To the park,” Harry answered with a grin.

 

“The park?” He questioned.

 

“Just- come on,” Harry urged softly; taking his hand and leading the way.

 

He absolutely refused to acknowledge he’d started to instigate this hand-holding business and reassured himself he only did it because Louis liked it. Yes, _Louis_ liked it. Not him. _Nuh-uh_.

 

He headed through streets, then into the darkened, empty wealth of green of the park and brought Louis into a small wooded area just in one corner. It was a natural playground, all wood and army-like. Harry climbed up a small ramp; ducking his lanky frame into a tree house there. Louis followed him in and when they sat on the floor opposite each other, they had to alternate legs because it was kind of cramped. Louis banded his arms around his knees, not minding the coldness in the air, the dampness of the wood or the utterly bizarre point of coming-which Harry seemed about to explain.

 

“I used to come here alot,” Harry shared then.

 

Louis swallowed. “It’s nice,” he offered.

 

“Cozy huh?” Harry half-grinned. “Used to bring boys here, too…”

 

Louis frowned. “What did you…?” He wondered, almost to himself, especially since Harry was so tall and filled the space with his lovely broad shoulders.

 

He shrugged them.

 

“Kissed.”

 

Louis flicked his eyes up. _Oh_.

 

Oh wow.

 

And they had just spent their morning kissing. Was Harry trying to tell him something, Louis wondered?

 

“Is that a hint?” Louis asked with a smirk.

 

Harry bit into his lip.

 

“It’s so quiet here, like the rest of the world doesn’t exist,” he said.

 

Louis loosened his arms from around his knees and cupped his hands around Harry’s.

 

“You feel protected here?” He guessed, because he did too. Very protected.

 

It didn’t even feel like a children’s playground with their adult bodies filling the space. It felt like home, like it was…

 

“Safe,” Harry breathed.

 

Louis was pained to think why Harry didn’t feel this safe anywhere else; including his house, but he guessed this space was just special. And he had no idea why Harry wanted to show it to him, but he treasured the moment all the same.

 

Louis reached across the inches between them and caught Harry’s pendant in between his finger and his thumb.

 

“Who gave you this?” He asked of the jewellery.

 

Harry smiled wryly of the silver chain and cross hanging from it.

 

“My mom,” he supplied gently.

 

Louis swallowed. He hadn’t even considered Harry’s family, whether they knew about his job, his life.

 

“Do you see her much?” He asked.

 

Harry shook his head sadly and the movement wrenched the cross from Louis’ fingers.

 

“Does she know?” Louis wondered.

 

Harry made a wry smile and let out an amused breath of air.

 

“Not exactly.”

 

Louis cupped Harry’s face even though it was really awkward from how they were sitting all cramped and twisted. He seemed about to say something but they both knew that words couldn’t really cover this moment.

 

Louis wasn’t sure why Harry was feeling this way, why he’d brought him here to his hideaway or why he was missing his mum.

 

He let his hands drop to Harry’s knees again; one propped up, one sideways where his leg was bent in front of him.

 

“It’s going to be okay, you know,” Louis said then.

 

Harry blinked, flicking sad green eyes up. He hated to argue with the lovely Louis but he felt like nothing was ever really going to be okay. Especially not now. Now that he’d had a taste of how his life could be. He didn’t feel much like he wanted to go back to how things were. _Fuck,_ how could ‘just kissing’ change so much, he wondered?

 

Stupid ‘just kissing' when there really wasn’t anything that was ‘just’ about it judging by his orgasm as a result. And it wasn’t stupid. Not really. Because with each passing hour with Louis, Harry felt a little bit more of his armour come undone, a little more of himself spill out. And he couldn’t pretend to try and stuff himself back inside the walls he’d built around himself because with Louis, they almost didn’t exist. He was fucked. And he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He sighed out.

 

“Did you want to visit your mum sometime?” Louis wondered, tightening his grip around Harry’s hand that dangled between his thighs.

 

Harry swallowed.

 

“It doesn’t really matter what I want,” he shared. “She won’t want to see me.”

 

Louis flicked his eyes to Harry, his face showing his surprise.

 

“Are you sure that’s true?” He checked softly.

 

He couldn’t imagine a world where anyone would shun Harry, let alone his own mother.

 

“My mom and dad both made it pretty clear that my sexual preference isn’t acceptable in their world.” He admitted quietly.

 

He really had no idea why he was telling Louis all of this, as though he could do something. But there was a small part of his brain that screamed _maybe he can!_ Maybe _he can make me feel better!_ Because there was nothing else, really. No easy solution.

 

He startled as he felt warm soft lips press into the back of his hand.

 

“I’m sorry,” Louis expressed in his husky voice, always so real. Always so caring.

 

Harry felt his cheeks warm because of it and was glad of the cover of night to disguise his blush.

 

That was only the second time he had blushed in five years and both times had been because of the man before him. He never used to blush. BL he reminded himself. Before Louis.

 

“I’d go with you,” Louis said then.

 

“What?” Harry bemused, not quite believing his words.

 

“To see your parents,” Louis clarified. “I’d go with you…if it would help,” he added.

 

Harry twisted his lips.

 

“What help them to know I’m with a guy like you?” He derided. “Because that’d be a lie, wouldn’t it,” he added softly.

 

Louis sucked in a breath. He wanted to say something, Harry could tell. And part of him guessed almost that his words were to deny his claim, to say that it _wasn’t_ a lie, really, that _they_ weren’t a lie. Because Harry wanted that to be true more than anything else. But he knew his place. And Louis didn’t say any of those things to argue with his assumption.

 

“I meant if it would help _you_ ,” Louis offered finally. “Having moral support…”

 

Harry shrugged his wide shoulders. “Maybe one day.” Is all he offered on that topic.

 

Louis kissed his hand again.

 

“We can go now,” Harry offered with a whispery voice.

 

They climbed down and their hands twined naturally as they walked back towards the car that Jake had brought round to the park. Harry looked over, gave into a little bemused grin.

 

“You take me to the best places in town and I take you to the park,” he observed of their reality.

 

Louis grinned, all out.

 

“I know which I prefer.”

 

“The high life,” Harry smirked.

 

Louis regarded him.

 

“No,” he said softly, firmly, tugging Harry’s hand.

 

Harry looked at him. Louis’ eyes were wide open, clear. He was telling the truth.

 

“Always knew you were a little bit crazy,” Harry teased lightly.

 

Louis smiled back, at ease with his joke.

 

“Had to be, right?” He mused. “To come into a strip club and make an offer on a guy I didn’t know…”

 

Harry arched a brow at him, the first time Louis had mentioned his purchase.

 

“So was it true what you said?” Harry wondered then. “You heard about me?”

 

Louis grazed his lower lip with his teeth; letting Harry slip into the car first. Jake had brought it around to meet them.

 

“I don’t make a habit of lying,” Louis regarded him with his direct, intense eyes.

 

Something dropped into Harry’s belly; instinctive and dark. Whenever Louis looked at him that way he got the same sensation.

 

“So, who told you?” Harry wondered.

 

Louis looked across at him.

 

“A guy at work was talking about how his girlfriend wanted to go to a male pole-dancing club and he followed her there to make sure she didn’t get up to anything,” Louis recounted with an amused smile. “He said the guy working the pole that night was sensational and as a straight guy, he’d thought twice about it…I knew I had to see what he was raving about,” Louis added.

 

Harry cast a fond look across the seat at him.

 

“I made a straight guy gay?” He teased.

 

Louis nodded. “Or at the very least, hard,” he amended with surprising candidness.

 

Harry smirked. “Objective achieved,” he boasted.

 

“What about me?” Louis asked, and Harry was lost for a minute.

 

“You…?” he led, confused.

 

“If you make me hard, am I another objective achieved?” Louis wondered.

 

Harry swallowed. _Fuck_. This was so fucking sexy and he had no idea why.

 

“Are you hard?” He asked, lifting one brow ever so slightly in question.

 

Louis widened his thighs and tucked his jacket back. Harry saw the bulge in his jeans, pressing for freedom. He swallowed heavily.

 

“ _Jesus, Lou_ ,” he murmured, wondering what had happened to turn Louis on so much. Was it talking about getting other guys hard? He couldn’t see how that would work for anyone let alone Louis.

 

Louis flicked his eyes to the rear-view mirror.

 

Harry ignored Jake and released his belt to shift across the seat; folding his lanky form up to straddle Louis’ thighs, taking his mouth and kissing him for all it was worth, really. What was the point in holding back, he was bold as brass in showing him his arousal and Harry needed to express his feelings on that subject.

 

Mostly those words came out in moans but he didn’t think Louis would mind too much.

 

He bucked in his lap; grasped his face and tilted, pushing his tongue deeper. Louis’ hands went to his waist to squeeze there; to half pull him onto his lap, half pull him off. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, and couldn’t comprehend what happened every time their lips connected like this. Earlier they had been slow and sweet, now they were hard and fast and needy.

 

He broke his mouth away to suck in air as his lungs protested and Harry immediately began kissing his neck, his hands dragging down Louis’ chest toward his jeans. Louis groaned and grasped his wrists gently, begging him not to.

 

Harry paused, looking into his face. That was the first time he’d said ‘no’. The first time anyone had said ‘no’ actually. And it was especially weird because Louis was hard and Harry was used to this little scenario- giving head in the backseat of a car.

 

He was almost insulted. Almost. He could take it as an offence that Louis didn’t want him to. But the way he was holding his wrists told him a lot more than any of Louis’ words could.

 

_Not here. You’re worth more._

Harry swallowed, let out a little sigh and wrapped his arms around Louis shoulders to bring him close instead. Louis gladly hugged him back.

 

A car ride without backseat head, well that was a first.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure what to say...I am so chuffed with your comments I love hearing your thoughts, views & ideas!
> 
> Also, I am interested to see what you think of this chapter :)
> 
> Ang
> 
> p.s song credit to Ed Sheeran!

** CHAPTER 9 **

Back at the house, Harry went ahead of Louis up the grand stairs. For the first time, he paused outside his door. He turned, half-looking at Louis as he came up behind him.

 

He knew he was only doing it to give Louis the opportunity to invite him to share his bed and fuck it if he didn’t want to ask the question himself; if only he could.

 

“Come on,” Louis grasped his hand sweetly and led him into his room.

 

//

 

Harry didn’t get much opportunity to relent the fact he was waking up in bed with Louis _again_.

 

In fact, he didn’t relent it at all because waking up to his lovely little body next to his as he stirred was about the best feeling in the world and he couldn’t quite work out why he’d relied on Cocaine to give him a high when this feeling went twenty leagues beyond that. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth at that idea. Louis gave him a high that no drug could touch. _How fucking crazy was that?!_ He shouldn’t go holding his hand and saying no, it confused the shit out of Harry and he didn’t know what to do with himself.

 

He curled around Louis’ smaller form; spooning him; breathing in the peachy scent of his shampoo- far too girly by rights- and enjoying his petiteness for what it was worth in these stolen moments.

 

When Louis was asleep he was so angelic, so unburdened.

 

Harry couldn’t help but wonder why he’d bought him at all, it just didn’t fit. He didn’t seem like a guy who needed friends, needed company or even- needed a fuck. He guessed maybe the last part was due to his idiot ex giving him the idea he couldn’t turn anyone on.

 

Harry hoped he was having some sway in that department.

 

He kissed his neck, just softly. _His Louis_.

 

He stiffened. _Oh Christ_.

 

He curled Louis closer rather than jolting away but the thought was painful, unwanted.

 

No, Louis _wasn’t_ his, never would be. He couldn’t be. It just didn’t go like that. Louis would let him go one day, they’d end this little charade and everything would go back to normal…

 

 _Fuck_.

 

 _This_ was fucking normal! This was a normal that Harry wanted with every fibre of his being. He tightened his arms, instinctively.

 

He didn’t want to have to let Louis go one day. He didn’t want to think of Louis with anyone else. Someone less patient, less caring… _Harry_ cared. _Harry_ waited. He wanted to. Louis deserved that. Louis waited too and Harry didn’t even know that he needed that time but Louis did. Louis _knew._

_Oh Jesus fuck._

 

He sighed out, defeated. He wasn’t getting out of this unscathed, that was for sure. In fact, he wondered if he’d even make it out alive.

 

A soft chuckle and wriggling in his arms brought Harry’s attention back to the bed.

 

Louis was ticklish, apparently.

 

“Am I being held prisoner?” Louis wondered huskily; not trying to escape Harry’s now rather-tight embrace.

 

He looked over his shoulder and Harry grinned.

 

“You’re mine now,” he teased, touching on the subject that had him so damn nervous.

 

Louis seemed happy with that, he shrugged a little with a ‘meh’ type smirk.

 

“I can live with that,” he decided, settling back against Harry.

 

“Really,” Harry overlapped his arms around Louis’ slim waist; tucking his head over his shoulder.

 

Louis hugged Harry’s arms around his middle.

 

“Really,” he said and the way he said it made Harry think he was for real.

 

“Don’t think you really want a guy like me hanging around though…” Harry husked.

 

He felt Louis swallow more than saw him.

 

“I might,” he ventured, his breathing shallow.

 

Harry blinked, his lashes brushing Louis’ neck where he was tucked in close. Louis spoke again when he didn’t reply.

 

“Do _you_ want to hang around with a guy like _me_?” Louis asked back, a little breathless with nerves.

 

Harry groaned and burrowed his face into Louis’ neck, kissing there.

 

 _More than you know_ …

 

“Yes,” he whispered, afraid. His heart was beating so hard he thought it might pack in there and then.

 

Louis reached an arm back to cup his neck with a gentle hand.

 

“And you say _I’m_ crazy,” Louis murmured.

 

“You are,” Harry kissed his neck again.

 

Harry’s kisses began to venture further across Louis' body.

 

It was like every kind thing that Louis had done needed to be acknowledged with a press from his lips and he kept his arms tight about his waist to stop him turning.

 

Louis tried a couple of times but gave up with a soft sigh of pleasure as Harry treated him. 

 

Harry hoped he knew this had nothing to do with money and everything to do with how he felt. He _wanted_ to kiss Louis. Wanted to please him.

 

His mouth pressed lower, against his spine as he curved his body to reach and he had to loosen his arms. His hands worked slowly across Louis' tanned skin, appreciating the toned smoothness of him, the way his waist was small and his belly soft and smooth. 

 

His lips hit the dimples above his behind, flicking his tongue out to taste and Louis’ soft cries emerged into a strangled moan as he writhed on the bed.

 

"Harry, let me kiss you," Louis begged huskily, reaching back with one hand to grasp his bicep, groaning at the contact and widening his thighs instinctively.

 

He pushed one knee up into the bed, not sure whether Harry would venture lower and his silent question was answered when Harry’s hands rounded the skin on his backside squeezing there deliciously. 

 

His mouth followed suit placing exquisite kisses there, devouring his skin.

 

If anyone had an ass worth worshipping it was Louis, Harry decided.  His skin was smooth and sweet with light hair, hardly any to complain about. It wasn’t hard work kissing him this way; it was more an untold pleasure.

 

Harry rutted his hips into to bed to alleviate some of the heaviness of his arousal, groaning at the pleasure and flicking his tongue between Louis' cheeks.

 

Oh how he wanted to be inside him, tight and deep and _wanted_. Wanted for who he was not how he looked or how he fucked.

 

Louis was trying to roll onto his back again; Harry pushed his arm up to hold him in place gently, letting his mouth continue its torture.

 

His free hand grasped Louis’ butt cheek and he pressed his thumb into the flesh right where he needed to split him, to pull some of the generous mound away to make room for his mouth.

 

"Harry, no," Louis gasped, clenching his muscles.

 

Harry paused.

 

"You don't want me to?" Harry checked.

 

Louis groaned and buried his head in the pillow.

 

"Fuck of course I do but-"

 

There was no 'but' that would really stop Harry at this point.  He guessed Louis wanted to wash himself, to make sure he was clean but Harry already knew he was. Louis was not a guy to leave such things unattended.

 

He buried his nose there where it was warm and dark and so, so hidden.

 

He kissed against his hole and smiled in smug satisfaction as Louis jerked his hips, fisting one hand around himself as his other tangled in Harry’s hair in trying to reach. It bent him backwards and Harry was forced back for a moment. 

 

"Lou, it's okay...just curl forward a little,” he begged huskily. 

 

Louis gave out a whine but followed his instructions and Harry got back to his place, running the tip of his tongue right around the edge, waiting for the next wave of pleasure to relax Louis’ body.

 

He cried out, his muscles melting. Harry swallowed back his need and right now he wouldn't care if he came all over the bed because he was going to finish this if it was the last thing he did. 

 

Finish Louis from inside out.

 

He rolled his tongue into a tunnel, pushing gently in, just enough to challenge Louis’ tightness, enough to make the warm wet roughness of his tongue known inside him.

 

He broadened it flat, easing back out and he found repeating that little action brought the kinds of sounds from Louis’ mouth that he'd only ever dreamed to elicit from a partner.

 

He was so used to grunts; to being _made_ to do this. To do it out of choice was a treasure.  To hear Louis’ high pitched whines was downright heaven. To _want_ to pleasure Louis this way...

 

It was unthinkable.  He absolutely _definitely_ could _not_ be in love. No this was just a thank you… just a payback.

 

Louis was thrusting into his own tight fist and pushing back on Harry’s mouth as he kissed with soft lips and dipped with hot tongue.  It was probably the most intense and intimate thing Harry had ever done and that Louis was trusting him and letting go this way...

 

It was his undoing. 

 

He rocked his hips helplessly, nowhere to ground himself, to thrust against. He sank his teeth into the delectable skin of Louis’ ass; his only anchor to stop himself floating away.

 

Louis’ cry was carnal; loud and unhindered.

 

Harry didn’t need friction to assist his release and he cried out into Louis ass where he was busy licking, and his reaction seemed to set Louis off too.

 

Louis pumped into his fist with tight, pleasured sobs, stroking himself down gently as Harry lapped at his hole, placing a hand on his rump tenderly before laying a last kiss on the mound of his ass.

 

"I could say something ridiculous right now," Louis panted, swallowing vulnerably.

 

Harry shifted up the bed and cuddled him once more; just how he had been. Only they couldn’t go back to that moment and pretend what had happened hadn’t just happened.

 

He reached across and kissed Louis shoulder and Louis shivered. 

 

"No words necessary,” Harry assured gently, wrapping him close again. 

 

"Okay," Louis agreed, awed and spent.

 

He was pretty sure that any words that did manage to spill out of his mouth would be highly inappropriate anyway. And they were sure to feature words he’d never uttered before, one of them beginning with L, perhaps.

 

"Okay," Harry kissed his shoulder in agreement. 

 

After a few moments of shared, sated silence, Louis cleared his throat gently.

 

“Can I take you out tomorrow night?” He asked.

 

Harry found it strange that he was asking. He mostly just _did_ things. And he went along, so far more than pleased with Louis’ choices.

 

“I guess I can cope with that,” he replied, his voice low and amused as he hugged Louis to him and Louis let him.

 

He heard Louis let out an amused breath.

 

“I’d hate to come across as a creep or anything,” Louis teased with a grin that Harry didn’t see with his eyes but knew was occurring at any rate.

 

He nuzzled Louis’ hair.

 

“Never, Lou,” he assured fondly, shortening his name in a way that was becoming _way_ too familiar.

 

Louis blinked, sighed out.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, into the light room. The sun was up now, pushing at his curtains, reminding him the day was only just beginning even though he wanted nothing more than to lay here in Harry’s arms forever.

 

He guessed he was a creep; he really couldn’t help it as far as Harry was concerned, it just kind of…happened.

 

“Just so happens I like creeps,” Harry kissed into his neck sleepily.

 

Louis felt a quick smile tug at his lips. Harry was reassuring him. Surely he wouldn’t do that if he didn’t feel _something_?

 

“My lucky day,” Louis decided.

 

“Don’t go to work today,” Harry begged softly, huskily, no nearer to releasing Louis from his arms than he had been when he woke up.

 

Louis swallowed. He wasn’t ready for _that_ , yet. Not quite. He wanted to know that Harry was at least halfway in love with him when they took that final step and although they’d been dancing around the edges of something for a while now, he didn’t truly know Harry’s feelings on the subject. On him, for that matter.

 

“Just this,” Harry mumbled, as if sensing Louis’ hesitancy.

 

When Louis relaxed his body he realized how tense he’d been. He guessed Harry had felt it since he was so tightly wrapped in his muscled arms. So tightly wrapped there and so, so not wanting to leave them.

 

He reached for his phone, opened his email application and typed a long message. He pressed send and lay back down; settling against Harry once more, accepting his arms around him with a boyish smile. He felt like a fifteen year old sleeping over with his crush.

 

“I have a horrible headache,” Louis shared as they both drifted into a snoozy nap.

 

Harry smiled against his neck.

 

“Filthy liar,” he whispered accusingly and Louis had to agree.

 

Harry probably had corrupted him to some degree but he actually couldn’t care enough to change it. He wanted to stay here in his arms where it was warm and a bit sticky and where he felt protected- maybe even loved.

 

He hadn’t always felt loved, he realized. And it was an addictive feeling. He just had no idea how to keep it and keep Harry, once this little ruse was over.

 

“This is real, isn’t it?” Louis asked aloud, his heart pumping fast in fear as he realized the words that had exited his mouth unguarded.

 

Harry nodded against his shoulder and he closed his eyes, relaxing back into sleep.

 

He didn’t feel Harry hug him that bit tighter and say his first prayer, asking for those words to be true.

 

//

 

Harry was choosing an outfit for Louis’ date.

 

There was an open-mic at the same bar Louis had taken him to before and he wanted to be prepared this time.

 

Louis had somehow gotten him the night off work so he could go on-stage earlier and enjoy the rest of the night.

 

It was strange how quickly Harry found himself falling into a routine here; his room now feeling very much like his own and his old apartment a long-forgotten memory.

 

Louis had gone to work and came home around five and showered up, dressing into-for the first time ever- a pair of fitted jeans, black plimsolls and a ‘Creeper’ t-shirt that Harry recognized the humour in him wearing.

 

Louis felt younger than his thirty-two years. He felt- well, _happy_. He let the beam spread across his face; stroked his beard, deciding on a quick trim before he did his hair and met Harry downstairs in the hallway.

 

Harry was wearing his trademark black fit jeans with pointy boots and a black shirt. Simple, smart… _sexy_ , Louis added to himself.

 

He had the green scarf that Louis had bought him in his hair.

 

“Good luck charm,” Harry said as Louis’ gaze drifted to it.

 

Louis couldn’t stop his smile widening.

 

“I’m glad,” he said.

 

They held hands, sat through the quiet chatter that came before the performances and Harry was soon whisked into his own little bubble of sound, swaying to the music, sometimes singing along if he knew the lyrics.

 

Louis had no idea what Harry planned to play. He’d retrieved his own guitar from his flat on the way here though and was storing it safely in the case between his knees. He hadn’t let go of Louis’ hand all night. Louis could feel the rub of sweat between their fingers but neither of them particularly cared.

 

Every now and then, Harry would lift their hands, kiss his knuckles, lay them back against his thigh, almost like he knew he was ignoring Louis in his passion for music and telling him silently; ‘I know you’re there, I haven’t forgotten’.

 

Louis was happy to watch him, quite frankly. He’d be happy to watch him with a lot less than music as a distraction between them. Having Harry dote on him with soft presses of his lips was...well, he was a man in love and it was hard to hide it.

 

Harry was called to the stage and he kissed Louis once for luck.

 

He settled on his stool, looking out.

 

“For Louis,” he said simply, starting his strum.

 

_Settle down with me_

_Cover me up_

_Cuddle me in_

_Lie down with me A_

_nd hold me in your arms_

_And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck I've fallen for your eyes, but they don't know me yet_

_And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now_

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved T_

_his feels like falling in love_

_Falling in love_

_We're falling in love_

_Settle down with me_

_And I'll be your safety Y_

_ou'll be my baby_

_I was made to keep your body warm_

_But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms_

_Oh no My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet_

_And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now_

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_This feels like falling in love_

_Falling in love_

_We're falling in love_

_Yeah, I've been feeling everything from hate to love from love to lust From lust to truth I guess that's how I know you So I hold you close to help you give it up_

_So kiss me like you wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_This feels like falling in love_

_Falling in love_

_We're falling in love_

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_This feels like falling in love_

_Falling in love_

_We're falling in love_

 

Harry finished his song and heard the applause, hoping that this time he wouldn’t get waylaid by some crazy female on his way back to Louis. He needn’t have worried; Louis was waiting by the side of the stage, catching him up in a strong hug as though he knew exactly how much of himself Harry put into every song.

 

And that was some song.

 

Harry had basically slow-fucked his boyfriend in front of all of these people and said I love you all in one go. It was all kinds of epic and really, he wondered where his life had gone since giving up cocaine and alcohol. Into emotional hell, he mused, pressing his lips into Louis’ neck as he clung to him, wrapped up and wrapping simultaneously.

 

“That’s a pretty sexy song,” Louis husked.

 

Harry sighed; pulling him closer.

 

“Don’t let go,” he begged.

 

Louis smiled.

 

“Of course not…”

 

“Are people looking at us?” Harry wondered briefly.

 

“Nah,” Louis lied, his eyes twinkling over Harry’s shoulder where he had a good view of the room. Harry was dwarfing him almost; his small body not quite able to hold him all.

 

He didn’t really care about the people staring at them, though. Let them stare.

 

Louis cleared his throat.

 

“There something I need to talk to you about,” he broached.

 

He wanted-more than ever- to make love with Harry. Whether that be tonight or another night; or another, another night, he didn’t care. And he couldn’t do it while they had this stupid contract between them.

 

Harry pulled away, cupping his cheek.

 

“Can you fuck me first?” He asked, clear and certain.

 

Louis blinked.

 

“I really want to talk about this before we-”

 

Harry kissed him. In that ridiculously sweet, slow way that made Louis melt.

 

“After,” Harry begged.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

“Now?” he checked.

 

Harry nodded.

 

Louis led Harry out of the bar; feeling his slightly slumped form lope behind him, his energy and shine ebbed from his emotional performance. He could see that singing took more out of him than the dancing; and that was far more of a physical feat.

 

Louis didn’t wait for Jake, he called a taxi and got straight in; fingers tangled with Harry’s as they headed home.

 

 _Home_.

 

Did Harry think of it as home? Louis hoped so.

 

Halfway through the journey Harry curled up and put his head in Louis’ lap and he half-panicked Harry was going to start giving him head right here in the cab, but he just sighed out; absorbing Louis’ comfort.

 

When they got in, they went to Louis’ room.

 

Louis lifted his chin, rolled forward onto his feet. He grasped Harry’s shirt front and instigated a kiss, a slow, loving kiss.

 

Harry kissed him back; just as leisured, unhurried in his attack. It was like Harry wanted to feel everything, every last drop of sweetness, every tingle, every brush of their lips.

 

Louis tightened his arms around him; drawing him close, letting his mouth work slow magic in unison with Harry’s. Neither of them was rushing to strip down, but Louis found the buttons on Harry’s shirt and began un-buttoning. One at a time; his hands brushing across his chest to push the material away; groaning as he played with his nipples with his thumbs.

 

“Lou,” Harry called, cupping his backside, rubbing excruciatingly gently against him, lingering on the feeling that gave.

 

He needed more, so much more but-fuck! He’d never fucked like this-ever.

 

They twirled in the room, Harry tugging off Louis’ tee-shirt, soon starting in on his jeans. He peeled them down his thighs, kneeling to cup there; to kiss them and all over his sexy legs. He pushed his knees out; brushing his thumbs upwards; tugging on his boxer’s band; making Louis groan at such a small teasing gesture.

 

Louis cupped his face, lifted his eyes up so he could stare into them.

 

“This feels like falling in love,” he quoted Harry’s song, hoping he meant every word he’d sung tonight.

 

Harry rose and folded him close; kissing him in a way that told him those words meant a lot to the man in his arms. A whole, whole lot.

 

Harry had to take a short detour to find his lube; returning to Louis’ bedroom to find him naked on the bed. Harry knelt on the edge, pulling Louis between his thighs.

 

He gazed at him, leisurely peaking his body, kissing in slow increments; building their passion slowly, slowly, as slowly as either of them could take. Louis was already strong as he lubed his hand and stroked him; being careful not to work him over too much.

 

He smiled and pressed the bottle into Louis’ hand.

 

“Your turn,” he said softly.

 

Louis swallowed, squirting out some liquid onto his fingers; parting Harry’s cheeks with one hand as he pressed his fingers in with the other; just gently, against his hole.

 

“Two,” Harry nodded his confirmation of Louis’ silent question. It may have been three weeks since he’d last had anyone inside him, but his body was primed.

 

Louis slipped in two fingers and pushed; Harry opening his mouth in silent ecstasy.

 

“Deeper,” he rasped, his voice low and hoarse.

 

Louis pushed his fingers in deep; as deep as they would go and kissed at Harry’s chest and neck; grasping his erection as if to ease this invasion.

 

“Want you in me,” Harry uttered through his filthy lips, wet and pink from their kisses.

 

Louis took his time, though, crooking his fingers, bringing Harry to almost his peak. When he whined and darted forward, Louis knew he was ready.

 

He gently rolled them, helping Harry onto the bed. He let Harry turn to his front; his beautiful backside taken advantage of by Louis’ caring hands.

 

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love_

 

The song pulsed through Louis’ mind, pumped through Harry's veins and surrounded them in the silent room. Harry was still singing those words; the gentle ebb and flow of the almost-erotic song was still strongly present even though it was over an hour since Harry had sung it.

Louis couldn’t help turning him for a kiss; more than one, even, sinking into his arms and rubbing his taut little body to Harry’s pale plush one as he fought for release.

“Lou,” Harry grasped his chin gently. “I want to be loved,” he said.

Louis hooked Harry's knee under his arm to push up; making access easier. He really, really needed to see his face when he did this in case he was rubbish at it; or worse- hurting him.

He pushed in, gently, easing inside the tightness of Harry’s hole; sucking in excited breaths at the feel of him.

“No, fuck!” Harry whined and Louis instantly withdrew.

“What, what is it?” He kissed Harry’s face tenderly.

Harry opened his eyes.

“S’too fucking good,” he said and Louis kind of went ‘oh’ with his mouth.

He eased back into him, slowly, slowly, with extra, ultra care. Louis was determined that this was the first time-the only time- that Harry had been made love to. Before him, he considered all Harry’s conquests as merely ‘fucks’. Nothing meaningful, nothing intimate or trusting like they were sharing now.

“Ohh-oh, ohh God,” Harry threw his head back, his voice ravaged from his cries.

“I wish I knew if that was good or bad,” Louis muttered, his pace so, so easy that he almost forgot how tight Harry was; how his body was stretching for him. He leaned down to kiss him, once, twice, again and again, with gentle, steady lips; intoxicating tenderness that wrapped him up and held him tight even if Louis’ arms were on the bed, holding his weight.

Harry couldn’t help but gaze into his eyes as Louis filled him; completely given over to this moment, to all that it meant.

 _Harry Styles, 20, in love with Louis Tomlinson_.

 

Well, _fuck_.

 

The idea should have stopped his passion cold, should have made him run from the room screaming, But it didn’t. It just made him groan out loud as Louis loved him, in the sweetest way possible, in way he had never been loved. Because he hadn’t, been loved, that is.

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love_

His chosen song swirled around his mind and Harry realized that Louis’ thrusts were into time to it, were steady and gentle and ebbing like the tide at sea. He really didn’t think his body could cope with much more but Louis was testing his limits, kissing his neck, his mouth, fingering his nipples as he got confidence to let go of the bed and kneel up; taking Harry’s hips gently in his hands.

The way Louis’ thumbs brushed over his hips so skittishly; made his heart miss a beat. He could still recall bruising presses there, claiming grasps. No, Louis was holding him, _caressing_ him, loving him. It was out of this world.

He was so glad Louis went first with this fucking thing because honestly, he didn’t think he could do anywhere near as good a job as Louis was right now and he wondered what the fuck Louis’ ex had been on to say Louis was shit in bed.

Christ, he was practically coming already and every touch was sending him further up his ladder to the stars.

“Yes!” Harry cried as Louis thrust deeper, deeper, claiming more, taking his soul and passing it back, fulfilled, satisfied and plump with love.

Nobody had done that, nobody had taken this time to get to know him, to know what he liked, to know what he wanted. Louis had though. Louis had taken weeks (a lifetime in Harry’s world) to get to know him, to fall for him before they did this.

And it wasn’t a fuck, holy God; no this was much, much more. Much, much more that Harry- if he had semblance enough to recognize it- would have usually found frightening. But fuck, no. This was a much, much more that he welcomed with open arms.

He didn’t want to be Louis’ pretend boyfriend anymore. He wanted to be his actual boyfriend. To live in his house, to wake up to him, to love him the best he could in return, though he doubted he could manage _this_ , he mused wryly.

His body was fluttering around Louis’ invasion, signaling his peak was near. Harry slipped his leg down, not caring if Louis slipped out of him-which he didn’t- because he needed to feel him close and he pulled Louis down; lifting his hips to keep them connected as Louis pumped out his final thrusts; all equally as loving as the last.

Harry closed his eyes and spurted; his body in such a heightened state of ecstasy he wasn’t sure he’d cope with reality when he climbed down.

Luckily for him, he had Louis to help.

He folded his arms around Louis’ body and pulled him down; onto his wet tummy; into his sweaty body. Fuck it. Who cared? He’d just given his heart away and he might never have it back; what was a little come between soul mates?

_Soul mates!_

Harry actually gave out a quiet breath of amusement at that particular thought.

Louis was kissing his chest- _lovingly_ , his mind told him again. All this fucking love, did he deserve it? Right now he didn’t care; he enjoyed it too much to object.

“You okay?” Louis checked of his sound.

Harry swallowed.

“I might be. Ask me again in ten years.”

Louis smiled against this skin.

“It might take me longer than that,” he reciprocated.

“I don’t want to be a pretend-boyfriend anymore.” He said then, his last thought before coming.

“I don’t want you to be either,” Louis husked, kissing his chin.

Harry only had the semblance to purse his lips, receiving a kiss there. He hoped his arms banded around Louis’ shoulders; his legs curled around his body were enough. He couldn’t tender-kiss him if he tried.

Louis placed a kiss to his offered lips, seemingly happy to keep up his little love-fest with no reciprocation.

“Okay, so you won’t pay me, the funding stops, we’ll just be together,” he mumbled, fighting off tiredness.

“Shh,” Louis kissed his shoulder, across his jaw. “We’ll sort it out tomorrow…”

Harry shook his head; tears gathering in his eyes which he didn’t let drop.

“Want to be yours, properly.”

“You are, oh God Harry, you always have been,” Louis husked, curling up against his body.

Harry clutched him close.

“Will you be mine?” He asked, so forlornly that Louis almost dragged him out of bed and slapped him for it. Almost.

“I have been for some time,” he assured with a sigh.

He felt Harry kiss into his hair.

“I’ll protect you,” he promised.

Louis smirked. That was his line.

“Alright,” he agreed, settling down.

Harry relaxed beneath him, seemingly happy with that.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to say I am absolutely stunned by your amazing words and kudos for me!!
> 
> I will publish a list of my upcoming stories very soon :D
> 
> Oh and in advance;
> 
> I'M SORRRYYYYY
> 
> Ang
> 
> P.S song credit to One Direction

** CHAPTER 10 **

 

Of course, they’d had to get up and shower. And remake the bed. And maybe have a sneaky midnight snack. Oh and a glass or two of wine.

They may or may not have curled up together; in a circle with their heads in each other’s laps, talking about all the important things in life, the things they’d never really talked about before.

They slept some more, in each others arms. They rested together and just listened to birdsong at sunrise.

They definitely did not want to leave this bed.

But they had to.

“Sleep in,” Louis kissed Harry’s forehead as he stood at the side of the bed, ready to go to work.

“I have work tonight,” Harry husked; curling toward Louis, looking up at him with sleepy green eyes.

“You have time,” Louis assured, kissing him once more on the temple, moving away.

Harry reached out after him and tightened gentle fingers around his wrist. Louis turned back. Harry wasn’t sure what to say; how to feel. Louis smiled and Harry felt his heart burst with the sight. He made Louis happy. How was that?

He smiled faintly back before burrowing back into the pillows.

//

Harry’s heart wasn’t really in it.

Truth was his heart hadn’t been in it since he’d danced for Louis that night at his apartment. And if he hadn’t already consumed too many lines of coke, he might even be making a better job of it than he was. He’d never stumbled through a routine, never lost focus.

Until tonight.

He blamed himself. He’d gotten all kinds of crazy once Louis had left and even a long, long swim and punishing routine in the gym didn’t stamp down his fear.

He was falling in love. And it scared the shit out of him.

What was most surprising was that he hadn’t seen it coming. Or _had_ seen it coming and laid down for the bulldozer to finish him off. It hadn’t seemed like such a big thing when he was in Louis’ arms. But now. Well now, it did.

 _Fuck_.

Everything was different, everything was epic and all because of one fuck.

Not even a fuck, he derided. _Making love_. He’d made love for the first time in his life and it left him like this-a tangle of arms and legs- head-fucked and incapable. He was a mess.

And he didn’t like it.

Hence the needy consumption of drugs to calm him down, get him back to zero where he could start count again. Only he didn’t know what was what anymore. Where was home? What was important to him? Who did he trust? He just didn’t know anymore.

The answers were obvious, really. But when he’d left Louis’ place, he’d decided to sleep at his old place tonight, just a reminder of his life before this insanity had occurred. And yes, his chest ached at the idea of not being with Louis tonight and yes his body craved to be holding his, to be held by his, but he was clinging onto normality with feeble fingertips and he had a feeling he was failing.

Because what was once his normal was suddenly not. And he wasn’t sure he could deal with that.

It was funny how fast things could change, how quickly things escalated. He’d gone from singing love songs to fleeing for the hills- something he’d had no urge to do last night as Louis filled him. _Fuck_ , he could have stayed like that forever, Louis’ bitch, all snug and tight. He’d never top again for another night like that.

But when he’d woken he was alone and afraid and he’d turned to the only friend he knew. The white powder. He had a funny little sneaking feeling that the powder was half the reason he was so damn paranoid and edgy in the first place but really, he liked having the excuse.

The closer he and Louis got, the further he needed to run. To save himself. To save Louis, too. This could only end in heartache and Harry knew his heart wouldn’t make it through because he’d never had to. He’d never had to face having his heart broken because he never let anybody close enough to try. And this was his only hope of making sure it didn’t happen.

It didn’t matter that he’d felt more in the last few weeks that he had in the last five years. It didn’t matter that when Louis kissed him and cuddled him that his heart burst with joy. It didn’t matter that making Louis smile was the only thing he’d ever truly been proud of. All that mattered was survival.

He dragged himself through his routine, black shirt and pouch seemingly a hit with the crowd. The song was ironic, but he fumbled through it, mouthing the words.

_Little black dress Just walked into the room_

_Makin' heads turn Can't stop looking at you_

_It’s so right It’s so right It’s so right you know_

_Little black dress Did you come here alone?_

_It’s too late It’s too late It’s too late to go home_

_It's so right It's so right It's so right you know_

_It's so right It's so right It's so right you know_

_I wanna see the way you move for me baby_

_I wanna see the way you move for me baby_

_I wanna see the way you move for me_

_Little black dress_

_Who you doin' it for? Little black dress I can't take anymore_

_It's not right It's not right It's not right you know_

_Little black dress What's your favorite song?_

_Little black dress I won't do you no harm_

_It's so right It's so right It's so right you know It's so right_

_It's so right 'Cause I'll take you home_

_I wanna see the way you move for me baby I wanna see the way you move for me baby I wanna see the way you move for me_

_I wanna see the way you move for me baby I wanna see the way you move for me baby I wanna see the way you move for me_

_I wanna see the way you move for me baby I wanna see the way you move for me baby I wanna see the way you move for me_   


He faltered a little on the runway as he headed for the dressing room, Zayn at his side.

“Harry, you okay?” His friend asked.

Harry nodded numbed and robotic.

“You sure, buddy; you didn’t look yourself out there?” Zayn observed.

“I’m high.” Harry said, knowing this news wouldn’t shock his minder.

“More than usual, though,” Zayn worriedly watched him while he staggered about the room, trying to get to the bathroom to shower.

“M’fine.” He lied.

Zayn helped him, turning his gaze away when Harry started pulling off his thong.

“S’Louis here?” he asked, wondering how long he had to sober up and get some kind of “acting normal” going.

He needed to tell him, at the very least, he wasn’t coming home tonight.

 _Fuck_. Home! He _was_ going home tonight, he amended. Home was his apartment. Not _Chez Louis_.

Zayn cleared his throat.

“Jack banned him again,” he broached.

Harry staggered out of the shower.

“What?” he demanded.

Zayn’s jaw worked.

“He knew once you were onstage you couldn’t blackmail him,” he said.

If Harry wasn’t so fucked right now, he might even be mad. All he felt was hot. Hot and sticky.

Actually, Louis being banned might make his escape easier. He really needed his own bed tonight. Another thought popped unbidden into his head. He really needed _Louis_ in his bed tonight. But that wasn’t going to happen. He was fine all by himself- always was, always would be.

Harry blinked, shivering in the tepid air as the water cooled on his skin while he stood naked, not quite with it enough to grab a towel. Zayn handed him one.

“I’m not going with Louis tonight,” Harry said, wrapping the towel around himself like a blanket, digging his chin into his shoulder as drips from the ends of his wet hair tickled him.

“You’re not?” Zayn jerked his head up. “Have you had a fight, is that why you took so much?”

Harry glared at his guard.

“Since when did you care how much I used?” He accused.

Zayn blinked. “Always,” he mused.

“Let alone what I do- or who,” Harry added.

“I like Louis,” Zayn vocalized.

“Well, I’m not going with him. So you better tell him not to wait outside.” Harry husked.

“Wait, you want _me_ to tell him?” Zayn choked.

“I don’t want to see him,” Harry said, his voice still that steady tone, his eyes still glassy.

“I doubt he really wants to see you right now either,” Zayn muttered as he headed outside.

 

//

Harry had been unbelievably tempted to ask Zayn what Louis had said, how he’d reacted, did he look hurt?

He already knew the answer to the last question.

 _Yes_.

He knew Louis would have been hurt by his refusal to see him, to come home-to come to _Chez Louis_ , he amended-and he wished he felt the pain of his avoidance because it might actually spur him into doing something, like going home. _Fuck_. He shook his head. Fuck it, he couldn’t deny it. Home was Louis’ house whether he liked it or not.

He wasn’t going to beat himself up over it.

No, he was just going to get in, line up his powder and sniff it away. It was all that made sense, really. This was his life. Lonely living, foil packets and bosses who literally owned his ass.

The real trouble here of course, was that Harry didn’t even fancy a fuck. He should by rights be gagging for one after taking it again last night but somehow he didn’t begrudge Louis his top because he’d earned it.

And normally by now Harry could have snuck a keen little dancer into his flat and fucked him right out; but no. He didn’t even fancy that.

He ground his teeth together as he came into his old place; lifting his duffle bag over his head and dropping it to the floor. It smelled sweaty; unclean and damp. The view wasn’t as exciting and bright as it used to be. The sofa looked empty without Louis on it and the room was deathly silent without music to dance to.

He dipped his forefinger and middle finger into his jeans pocket, fishing out the familiar foil packet. He scooched onto his couch and laid the packet on the coffee-table; opening it up carefully, eyes shining at the treasure within. He reached for his trusty little razor blade to cut it, not bothering to make tidy lines out of it just hashing it the best he could. He grabbed his little straw that carried his happy dust and leaned forward, holding one nostril closed to suck up the mess into his other; taking two, three hits.

Normally he and Louis would be getting a snack about now but Harry didn’t feel hungry. He never did with coke lining his lungs. It was a funny little depressant like that; he guessed that’s why he’d always looked half-starved before meeting Louis. Never had the will to eat.

He turned his thoughts away from the subject that he was trying to avoid; feeling the buzz racing through his veins. _Oh yes_. This was what he needed; the slow trickle of the high; this artificial happiness. He was vaguely aware that this high came nowhere near to how he’d felt last night being made love to and he wondered how that was.

How could being in Louis arms, being madly in love with him possibly beat this?

 _Wait_ , who was madly in love? Nobody was madly in love. _Where did that come from?_ He frowned, his vision weird; his body relaxed. No madness about it. Was there? A man in love must surely be madness because there was no way out from that, no escape, no path to safety. It meant going in in full battle gear; trying to dodge the blows and crawling out heartless with nothing left.

 _He assumed_.

Since he hadn’t been in love he could only assume that committing yourself to the scariest feeling in the world could only invite disaster. There was no way all that amazingly good stuff came with out a fall. A bit like his friend Snow.

His head lolled; he knew he’d be on the down before long and he knew he was in danger of doing something stupid before then. He’d had a few accidents while using- mostly from a deluded belief he could balance especially well while his head felt like it was bouncing all over the place. Really, never a good idea to climb balconies, railings or bridges, but he’d managed all of those things before.

And Louis didn’t know that. Didn’t deserve to really because the guy had a lovely little life that didn’t include druggie sluts and actually Harry thought he was better off that way- not knowing. He’d be disappointed to know Harry had purged again, would be concerned to know he wasn’t eating properly. He’d feel even sorrier for him, more desperate to help and Harry wasn’t sure if he could cope with that.

Not that Louis had ever pitied him. He frowned; trying to remember a time when he had. When he’d found him bleeding he’d been very stoic about the whole thing and that maybe surprised Harry the most. But it still didn’t compute in his drug-addled brain as to how anyone could accept his behaviour. How they could still want him, knowing it. And of course- how could they love him?

The kind of love Louis had made to him last night, he hadn’t earned. He was too selfish, too impulsive and way too fucked up to deserve even a fraction of the tenderness Louis had bestowed upon him. And yet he missed every second not being with him.

He felt tears fill his eyes and moved quickly to remedy that; picking up his straw between powdery fingers; moving awkwardly, stiffly to reach his foil. Enough for another hit.

He breathed in the last of the powder, feeling his heart race; wiping sweat off his arms and chest. It was so, so hot. He needed air. He broke open his balcony door and headed out; looking at the lights below. _So pretty_.

He used the metal handrail to grasp, awkwardly finding footing on the railing. Maybe he could fly, how did anyone ever really know unless they tried? He could bet landing on the pavement below was less painful than losing Louis.

 _Losing Louis_.

Which is what he would do if he didn’t climb the fuck down from there and slap some sober into his face. But actually Louis was better off, he remembered. He needed to show Louis exactly what he was- his true, hideously ugly self. And this was it. High as a kite; ruined and unable to function. This was the real Harry Styles.

He tipped his arms out, balancing his feet either side of the rail as he walked. Well, shuffled. His non-grip boots slipped; making him snicker. _Fuck_. This was dangerous. He kind of liked it.

His breathing felt tight and his heart was racing. He rubbed his chest as his heart missed beats and his breaths caught erratically in his lungs.

He moved a bit further along, looking left into the darkness below. He leaned toward it, searching, finding nothing. He felt his balance tip that way-the wrong way and he quickly jerked to right himself; arms flailing and legs crumpling under him as he fell.

It was the last thing he remembered before his world went black.

//

It was Zayn that found him, apparently.

He came by after the club was safely locked down for the night and Harry had- _luckily_ -left his front door just off the latch. Zayn had found him with a bump on his head and too many drugs for his body to handle so he’d been brought in.

To hospital that is.

It was miserable in here, all white with no colour, nothing to focus on.

His body still lagged with the after- affects. They may have given him sodium bicarbonate and an ice-bath on entry but he craved the opiates they usually prescribed to ease his nerves. His hands wouldn’t stop trembling and it was beginning to scare him.

Zayn had found him in a pool of his own vomit, apparently. He’d been bleeding from his nose again and his friend was somewhat traumatized by the whole thing. Harry hadn’t been told any of this of course. He just watched people drifting in and out with his lazy blinking eyes; heavy and unconnected to the world.

He didn’t know what the time was or how long he’d been here but when Louis came, he wondered why he had expected him not to. He flicked his latent orbs across, his pupils still blown, his cheeks still flushed.

Louis didn’t look great either. Harry felt his breathing spike; his heart rate blipping as Louis advanced into the room, his face was tight with worry, his normally tan skin pale. He looked so scared stood there. Like he didn’t even know if he should lean down and kiss him.

Harry made a reach for the front of his shirt, grasping it weakly and tugging. Louis seemed to understand because he bent right over the bed and laid a gentle kiss to his forehead, right by the bashed skin from his fall. He dreaded to think what he looked like.

“Hi,” Louis whispered, and Harry thought that was probably the kindest thing he’d done.

Sat there on the bed and pretended like Harry hadn’t been the stupidest fucking idiot of all time. The man deserved an award.

“Hey,” Harry husked; his fingers still jittery where they rested on his covers.

Louis noticed right away and reached for them both; taking them in his lovely small, warm hands. He kissed each of them; holding them to his cheeks as if to warm them. Harry didn’t even realise they were cold. He couldn’t feel much of anything right now.

Harry saw the plops of moisture hit his covers and he knew Louis was crying. He hadn’t expected to see that; hadn’t predicted it. And if he wasn’t pumped with muscle-relaxant right now, he might even feel his heart breaking because of it.

“Sorry,” he whispered then, quickly, in vain. “Sorry, Lou, I’m so sorry…”

Louis shook his head, composing himself.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” he said.

Harry rested back; comforted in the knowledge his hands were taken care of. It didn’t feel as scary when someone else was holding them; grounding them in warmth. If Louis could accept the tremors there, he knew he wasn’t dying anytime soon.

“M’sleepy,” he admitted softly, his voice a husk.

“Sleep, babe, okay?” Louis whispered, kissing his forehead again and Harry could almost believe it was still the morning Louis left him in bed.

The morning when everything was still so perfect.

//

Louis flicked his eyes to the doorway of Harry’s room as Zayn filled it.

“Thanks for calling me,” he said.

Zayn lifted his chin in acknowledgement.

“ _He_ might not know it, but I know how much you care about him,” the other man offered.

Louis made a wry smile.

“I think he does know and that’s what’s making him scared.” Louis considered.

Zayn nodded. “I’m glad you can see that. He needs you.”

Louis looked at him, all blue eyes.

“Is he-” He swallowed. “Is he pushing me away?” He asked, wanting _-_ no _needing_ to know if he should keep coming back.

Zayn nodded again. “He needs to know you’ll be here no matter what.”

Louis found that incredibly sad. He couldn’t imagine half the horrendousness that Harry had had to bear in his life, but he knew something about being abandoned. His friends had done it to him and he guessed Harry’s lifestyle of loveless sex made him feel that way too. That he was always left, never loved.

Louis was damned if he was going to let him go. At least not without a fight. And if that fight included holding Harry through every bad dream; every painful memory that he needed to cry out, then that’s what he’d do.

He quickly shot up off the bed as Harry wretched, needing to vomit. He grabbed a cardboard tray from the stack on the bedside table and cupped it under his chin as he rolled to his side, still half-conscious as his body racked.

Once he’d emptied his stomach, he handed the tray to a nurse and helped Harry drink some water. He climbed into the bed behind him, rubbing his back as Harry wrapped his arms around his ribs and shuddered; almost as if he were cold but when Louis hugged him, he felt on the warm side.

Maybe his fight included holding Harry while he lay in a hospital bed, puking up his guts and recovering from an overdose.

He felt like he could win this one.

//

When Harry next woke, the low hit him.  He’d been trying to brush his teeth in the little bathroom adjoining his hospital room when his gums had started bleeding and it had sort of hit him how stupid he'd been. He wasn't sure many people had seen him cry before. He'd kept these moments to the bare minimum for a good reason. Nobody knew what to do when he was broken. He was Harry Styles, cool as fuck, calm and always collected. No excuses, no exceptions.  Only he couldn't hide any more.  Couldn't hold it together.  Couldn't pretend couldn’t be strong and-

 _Fuck_.

He couldn't stop crying. Louis must have heard him and entered the room because he felt tightness around him. Soft and warm and comforting. And the irony of it made him push out an amused breath before he began to cry harder; body racked with sobs while his large hands covered his face.The irony was that he was being held by Louis' sexy arms. The same sexy arms he'd tried to deny. The same arms that had held him so beautifully several times since then.He couldn't deny them now. He curled forward, all shoulders as Louis struggled to reach, to keep all of him together but he was trying so hard that Harry’s body didn’t fall through the gaps.And it was confusing it really was because Harry had run again, he'd deliberately hurt Louis and he'd tried to take flight from his balcony while way too high on White and he couldn't quite work out how all of those things meant Louis was there. There in the best sense.  Not just present not just visiting but really _there_. 

In a 'you can cry on my shoulder all night,' kind of way.  In a 'you can puke on me and I won't hurl' sort of way. In a way that Harry didn't want anyone to be there for him because he didn't deserve it.His pain deepened, his body caved, keeling toward Louis.Louis couldn't quite catch him and Harry slithered to the floor, rocking back onto his hip to awkwardly sprawl there.

But Louis wasn’t giving up.  As he slid down beside him, Harry only barely noted the fact he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt today- items he'd not worn before meeting Harry.  And it was lovely and soft against Harry’s skin as Louis pulled him close into his body, between his thighs and tight against his chest as he wrapped him up in his small limbs.

Harry wouldn't care if Louis was a dwarf right now; nothing had ever felt this good. Coming spectacularly apart in the arms of a man who refused to be pushed away. And he was trying; he was really trying.

He tried again, pushing his bent arms against Louis chest to lever him away but Louis just kept gathering him back, shh’ing into his hair.

Harry had no fight left. Louis couldn't be pushed.

He grasped his t-shirt in his wet, battered hands and pulled instead. He felt Louis kiss his temple.

"Shh," the sound was soothing and gentle, just like Louis was.

Yes, soothing. Like always. Always nice here in his arms. Always felt like home. 

He pushed his nose into Louis’ throat; both of them wet with his tears. He burrowed, grasping his tee in tight fists. _Don't let me go,_ he wanted to say. _Don't let me push you_. He gulped, trying to make his throat work. 

"Shhh...Hey, shh...”  Apparently he didn't need to speak. Louis understood him.

He wasn't sure but he had a feeling Louis wasn't going to let go.

//

 

Louis had helped Harry pack up his things when it was time to go home.

He carried his sorry-looking duffle bag in one hand and held Harry’s hand in his other. That particular contact had been Harry’s doing, too. Which had surprised Louis somewhat seeing as Harry had walked out-again-just the day prior.

But he wasn’t about to complain.

No, he liked having Harry’s hand in his and he liked it even more when it was Harry’s choice to have it there.

He opened the car door; letting Harry get in and walked around the back to slide in beside him; laying his bag between his feet where he tipped his knees in to capture it snugly between his calves.

“Do you want to go back to your apartment?” Louis asked more of a confirmation, really, since he guessed Harry wanted to get as far away from him as possible.

When Harry shook his head, Louis frowned.

“My place?” He checked.

Harry nodded.

“Home,” he said, and Louis found that statement a little too weird to process right now.

“We’ll take good care of you,” he promised.

“I know,” Harry agreed.

Louis gave Jake the signal and the car pulled away.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for Kudos and comments!  
> Here is a list of my forthcoming stuff and thank you to those reading my back catalogue :)
> 
> 'Escape'- Harry running away from an abusive ex and Louis as a caring cowboy :) (not fully ended but complete)  
> 'Loved You First'- Harry starts out like Marcel and Louis is his boss.  
> 'The President's Son'- Louis is the son of the President and he ends up as Harry's roomie.  
> 'Too Soon'- Louis is a guarded singer and Harry is the photographer who breaks down his walls.  
> 'Just Right'- This story started off with a working title of Fuck Knows so literally it's a crazy non-plot but features light bondage references :)  
> Heart Without a Home- One shot- Louis is homeless and so is Harry  
> What My Heart Wants to Say- One Shot- random friends to lovers fic  
> Hybrid Fawn Harry (Untitled)- classic protective Louis and little spoon Harry  
> Stockholm Syndrome- One Shot-Louis kidnaps Harry when he accidentally stumbles upon his cabin in the woods after his car breaks down.
> 
> Ang

** CHAPTER 11 **

 

“Have you ever seen a sunset?” Harry wondered as they came into the kitchen.

 

Emma was making tea and had a tempting selection of cakes displayed on the table.

 

Louis smirked.

 

“A few.”

 

“Out here?” Harry asked.

 

Louis shook his head and Harry licked his lips, looking to him.

 

“Would you like to?” He wondered.

 

Louis looked back across at him.

 

“Very much,” he agreed.

 

Harry bit his lip and looked at the table, sitting down to hungrily destroy a slice of lemon sponge.

 

“You know, you sound so British sometimes,” Harry observed then, lightening the moment.

 

Louis chuckled.

 

“Really? I wonder how that is?” He mused.

 

Harry smiled, small and tired. He yawned widely, reaching into his jeans jacket pocket for his knitted beanie; tugging it on. It tamed his curls and gave him a softer look. His lips were pronounced, their gratuitous plumpness boasted as he pursed them. His eyes looked wider, more innocent even though Louis knew what lay behind those orbs.

 

“We can go watch the sun after this, yeah?” He asked.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“Do you want to get a jumper, it might get cold…?”

 

Harry smirked at him.

 

“I have you don’t I?” He teased.

 

Louis sucked in a breath.

 

“Yes, of course,” he assured softly.

 

Harry swallowed, scraping his chair back.

 

“Well, I should get something,” he mused quietly, leaving the room to lope up the stairs, digging out a thick grey knit jumper that he put on underneath his jacket.

 

He grabbed a black one for Louis and brought it down.

 

“Here,” he handed the rather-too-large clothing item to Louis who was stood by the patio door, hands in jeans pockets.

 

His brows rose.

 

“Oh,” he took the jumper and slid it on; turning his hands palms up to showcase the excess material. It slipped off his shoulders a touch and it came halfway down his thighs. “Erm…” he added with a soft shyness Harry didn’t expect.

 

 _Holy fuck_.

 

Harry swallowed hard. He screwed his eyes shut; willing his body to behave. He couldn’t get a fucking hard-on now for Christ’s sake! And from seeing Louis in his jumper? Just because he looked so small and sweet and soft and…

 

 _Owned_.

 

Harry swallowed again. He felt a hand cup his cheek.

 

“You okay?” Louis asked concernedly.

 

Harry opened his eyes which may have sparkled ordinarily in this situation but he was still under medication from the hospital and so Louis would hopefully not realise his predicament.

 

“You look sexy,” Harry husked more an accusation than a statement.

 

He saw Louis swallow, too.

 

“Shall we find a nice spot?” Louis suggested of their foray into the grounds of his property.

 

Harry felt pain stab him in the chest, pure and hot. It killed his arousal and his hope. He’d really done it, he realized. He’d really lost Louis. And what a fucking idiotic thing that was to do because he’d pushed as hard as he could and it had worked. It had fucking worked. But he didn’t want it to! He didn’t want it to work; he wanted Louis to push him back; to fall on him and hold him down to keep him from running away.

 

His stupid scared mind and even more frightened, unloved heart weren’t capable of making sensible choices. He couldn’t be trusted. And now he had to pretend. Pretend that this was okay, that holding hands was okay, that watching a sunset with a guy you knew you were falling for and didn’t fall for you back was also okay.

 

It was so _not_ okay he felt like puking.

 

 _Falling for_.

 

 

He let Louis bring him to the far end of his grounds where a little lake sat, quiet and secluded. Louis took him to a small wooden rowing boat moored off a tiny jetty and he climbed in expertly; helping Harry in, too.

 

Louis rowed while Harry sat back; enjoying the low warmth and balm of the leftovers of the day’s sun. He felt soothed here, at ease and at peace.

 

“This is my little slice of heaven,” Louis confided. “If I have a bad day at work, I come straight here and sleep under the stars.”

 

Harry lifted his brows. _Maybe they’d sleep under the stars tonight, too?_

 

“It’s amazing,” Harry agreed.

Louis settled the boat in the centre of the lake; letting them bob and drift gently as he hunkered down to curl on the floor of the boat. His legs were untidily bent; Harry’s long limbs struggling and his knees were practically by his ears.

“Here,” Louis shifted lightly; lying sideways to allow Harry to stretch his legs out. Harry ignored him and shifted across; making room for Louis beside him.

Louis moved into the gap before the boat got too unbalanced. They lay side by side, staring at the sky. They both folded their arms underneath their heads; clashing. Louis decided to concede, using Harry’s elbow to rest on instead; linking his hands at his chest.

They itched to touch Harry, he had to catch them up and lock them together to resist the urge. Honestly, laid out, long, lean and beautiful, Louis could barely look at him without getting hard.

“So,” Harry lifted a brow, sighing out. _Yup. He’d really fucked it up. Louis wouldn’t even look at him._

“How’s your head?” Louis asked, tilting to check; lifting a hand to brush back Harry's fringe which was trapped down by his hat.

“Bit sore,” Harry turned away slightly, still ashamed of his actions that night.

Louis’ hand fell away from his face, but it didn’t go back to his chest with his other one. It sort of casually curved around his thigh instead. Harry swallowed. Something bloomed in his chest and left him breathless. Wait. Was that…

Hope?

“Missed having you around,” Louis offered then; his hand relaxing in its ownership of Harry’s thigh since he hadn’t mentioned it or moved it away.

Harry nodded, biting his lip guiltily.

“I guess you can’t talk about it yet,” Louis added.

Harry swallowed. He might never be able to talk about it. It was seventy-nine shades of fucked up and he really didn’t know where to start.

“I tried to protect you from me,” Harry whispered, pained. “I tried to warn you, to show you exactly how I am, how fucked up, how ugly,” he implored.

Louis brought his gaze up; stretching his neck to kiss Harry’s temple beside him.

“I know,” he accepted.

“And I did it,” he accepted. “I finally pushed you away. But if you expect me to talk about it…to try and reason why I did what I did…” His voice broke. “I can’t. Because I can see how insane it was and I did it anyway. To prove I could,” he added with a sigh.

Louis shifted; curling toward him.

“Do you think you might do it again?” He asked, soft and low and Harry almost sobbed at the concern there, the begging hope he’d say no.

“I’ve never lied to you and tried to make a promise I couldn’t keep,” he said only in reply.

Louis swallowed, waiting for Harry to turn his head toward him. When he did, he flicked his eyes over his face, landing on his mouth.

“Can I kiss you now?” He asked and Harry wondered why he was asking at all.

He blinked. It was enough acceptance because Louis stretched that last inch between them to reach his mouth and Harry curled inwards to meet him there; letting his lovely soft lips tangle with his and own him, the way Louis’ hand was owning his thigh.

Harry felt the tingles decorate his skin as they kissed; their lips meeting again after so long that it felt like forever. It was a sweet, aching remembrance to relive this and Harry couldn’t help his groan; the way his body just inflamed in Louis’ arms with his mouth mating with his; their souls entwining the way their bodies wanted to.

Louis pulled away with a little breath of air sucked in, as if realizing what he was doing. He had instigated that and he hadn’t meant to. His plan had been to let Harry set the pace, let Harry decide.

Seems Harry would have chosen the exact same outcome because he cupped Louis’ cheek and brushed his thumb there; tender and longing.

“I can’t make promises,” Harry shook his head, afraid.

“I know,” Louis said, easing back into his former position.

Harry swallowed, trying to fight his fear down, trying to hide his vulnerability. He blamed the last two days, the cocktail of meds for his fail in that.

“I’m broken,” he whispered; his voice cracking; his face crumpling.

Louis o’d his mouth and quickly shifted; grabbing Harry into his body as he pitched there.

“No, no, you’re not…you’re not broken,” Louis quickly assured him, stroking over his hat with one hand, clutching him close with the other.

Harry’s head was somewhere around his midriff; hiding his face in his jumper.

“Am,” Harry argued on a strained voice, thick with tears.

Louis sighed, curled in to kiss against his beanie.

“Well, so what if you are?” He gave in, because he thought Harry might actually be right about his statement.

“Broken…Can’t be fixed…Used, empty, useless…” he cast out; wrapping his arms around Louis’ middle to properly cry into his waist.

“You’re not used, Harry,” Louis scolded lightly. “We’ll fix you, okay? We’ll find a way to fix you...” he hummed softly.

“Can’t fucking be fixed!” Harry yelled angered; tightening his arms instinctively around Louis’ middle. “So fucking broke nobody wants me,” he mumbled into Louis’ jumper.

“That’s not true,” Louis denied.

 _He_ wanted Harry. If Harry would let him.

“I’m unlovable,” Harry finished sorely; his voice hoarse and desolate.

“Who the fuck told you that?” Louis gasped; grasping him close, shocked by his words. “Harry who told you that?” Louis insisted.

Harry was tired; his body was getting heavier as his muscles gave in.

“Jack,” he sighed; burrowing into Louis neck as he stretched upwards.

Louis cupped the back of his head and let Harry kiss his neck; wetly.

“You _are_ loveable,” Louis husked; emphatic in his response. “You’re loveable, Harry Styles,” he echoed, hesitating to say the words that were fighting to get off his tongue. They were literally racing for the freedom from his mouth, tripping over each other hand in hand and reckless in their haste.

“ _I_ love you, okay?” He finally pushed them out, off the tip of his tongue and into the abyss of heavy air surrounding them. Air that seemed to weigh so much more with his confession. “I love you. I’m sorry,” he added, wincing with the knowledge he’d just said something completely unacceptable.

Harry was very still in his arms. He was breathing, Louis could feel the air drag into his lungs and expel back out. He could hear the confusion in the silence, was only too aware of his own heart throbbing and Harry’s, a steady dunk under his clothes.

Louis daren’t move, daren’t breathe, daren’t-

“I love you too.”

And there it was. His response.

Louis opened his mouth and literally gaped, where Harry wouldn’t see him because he was pretty sure he looked close to a fifteen year old right now, gob-smacked his boyfriend said I Love You back.

He tightened his arms, kissed into Harry’s hat.

“I’m not sorry,” he said then, quietly.

Harry let out a breath and the air seemed to lift a little on the scale of awkward, back toward zero where Louis would like it to stay.

“Why _were_ you sorry?” he asked.

“Because I didn’t think you did…didn’t think you felt the same…” Louis admitted.

Harry swallowed.

“Are you completely blind or just stupid?” Harry enquired, still not having looked at Louis since their grand declarations.

Louis smirked. “Both. Definitely,” he selected.

Harry squeezed his arms which lay around him.

“I wish you didn’t though,” he said huskily and Louis almost belted him for it. Almost.

He kind of knew why Harry didn’t want him to love him. It scared him too much. Louis’ feelings altogether scared Harry and they scared Louis too, so he couldn’t blame him. But he didn’t want Harry to run anymore, to push him away or to deny this was happening. He could only pray that this was the start of a new phase for them.

“Come on,” Louis gently dislodged him with a kiss to his cheek, then his mouth. “I’ll row us back.”

“No sleeping under the stars?” Harry pouted with a sleepy whine. His face had the imprint of Louis’ jumper pressed into it and Louis hadn’t seen a more beautiful sight.

“It’s too cold,” Louis mused softly as he rowed them in.

Harry clambered out of the boat ungracefully and Louis followed; slipping an arm around his waist as they walked up the grass toward the house.

They came inside and Louis had thought maybe, just maybe they’d be sharing a bed tonight but as they came up the stairs and paused outside their bedrooms, Harry avoided looking at him and mumbled:

“I’m pretty tired and I just need to be alone for a bit.”

Louis knew only too well how Harry liked his space, liked to able to run, to escape. Their moment in the boat had evaporated the second they’d stepped inside and Louis felt his chest hurt at the gap between them-physically and otherwise.

Hadn’t they just said “I love you”? Didn’t that mean they got to snuggle and cuddle and maybe bitty-kiss without getting too turned on?

Obviously not.

“Alright,” he said, anything but alright in reality.

Harry had turned into his room and it left Louis alone and confused.

He fidgeted in bed and knew sleep wouldn’t prevail. He’d missed Harry too much the last few nights and tonight was going to be no different. It might even be worse because he knew he was right across the hall, running from their future together.

He just hoped he turned back before he got too far.

//

It took Harry an hour of almost scaring himself to death in the dark; followed by an hour of trying to sleep with the light on before he finally got up.

He sighed, using the toilet, mooching about while he fought down his urge to climb into bed with Louis.

 

It wasn’t fair to the guy, to be really frank. He’d fucked him about far too much and Louis was already being beyond kind by letting him stay here. They may have let their feelings be known but that didn’t mean Louis deserved his great hulking body invading his space all night. No, Louis deserved more.

 

But he couldn’t settle, his body felt itchy and sore and his heart was thudding too fast in his chest.

 

Earlier on the lake, he’d felt so calm with Louis by his side. He hated that Louis was the only person who made him feel that way but while his body burned with the need for a hit, he wanted to avoid giving in to it.

 

And Louis had every right to be mad, to be annoyed at him for waking him at 3am but fuck it. He needed to do _something_.

 

He crept into Louis’ darkened room and cleared his throat, the silence making his rapid heartbeat sound even more frightening, hammering away in his chest.

 

“Louis?” He called, quietly at first. “Louis…? Erm….Lou?”

 

Louis sucked in air through his nose.

 

“What?” He sat up, fast. “What is it, are you okay?”

 

He was out of the bed before Harry could blink. Harry frowned as Louis grasped just above his elbows gently. _Holy shit_. He’d thought something bad had happened again. And he’d jumped out of bed like that, like-

 

Like he could _save_ him, somehow.

 

“I’m okay,” Harry said first, thinking he owed Louis that much.

 

“What’s up, why are you out of bed?”

 

Harry lifted a shoulder.

 

“Can’t sleep?” Louis husked.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

Louis gazed at him in the dark. Harry could make out his thick lashes and the intensity in his eyes. Louis wasn’t going to ask him to come to bed because he wanted to hear Harry say he wanted to. And Harry thought he deserved that, too.

 

“Can I sleep with you?” Harry whispered. “I’m scared on my own…”

 

Louis stepped back and for one second Harry wondered if he was going to reject him and he couldn’t really blame him since he’d gone straight to bed without so much as a goodnight kiss but he really hoped Louis didn’t kick him out that way.

 

Louis reached for Harry’s hand and turned toward the bed; crawling back in on his knees. He curled Harry into his arms and sighed.

 

“Heartbreaker,” he accused fondly.

 

Harry snuggled into him; completely not himself in his submission.

 

Harry listened to Louis’ breathing as it slowed; easing as his mind shut down. His heart seemed to match the smooth rhythm allowing him to sleep, finally.

 

He was shattered. He tried not to think of what he would have done had Louis not been there. He tried not to think of much at all.

//

When Louis woke, it was to the gentle sensation of pressure on his thighs. He half wondered if Harry had curled up and used his belly as a pillow but as his senses returned slowly, bit by bit, he realized that Harry’s forearms were pressing there; while his mouth worked over his skin.

He seemed to be zeroing in on his dick, kissing, licking and biting the surrounding areas in succession to bring him awake and he didn’t think he’d ever had a better wake-up call. He was hard already; straining against his belly and he belatedly realized Harry had undressed him while he was asleep.

Harry wordlessly carried on his assault, flicking Louis a very sleepy, very ruffled sexy smile which he groaned at; throwing his head back into the pillow to muffle. His fingers threaded into Harry’s hair and gently tugged; trying to ease him away.

“Harry,” he gasp-sighed, kicking his legs about to try and shift him gently.

Harry merely smiled smugly and licked a fat stripe up his straining erection; dipping his head to take Louis right into his mouth; as deep as he could go.

The stark contrast of Harry's almost-filthy sucking of him and the fact he’d just woken up had him so near his climax he could cry. That wasn’t going to impress anyone, coming two minutes into a blow.

But Harry knew what he was doing. He was something of an expert. And although the sensations and outright blatancy of Harry’s mouthing of him made him turn seven shades of horny, he wanted the real Harry swallowing him down, not the porn-Harry he guessed his younger boyfriend had become used to being.

“Wait…wait,” he panted; grasping at his shoulders.

Harry looked up, all wide green eyes, messed hair and red, red lips. He pulled off Louis and waited.

“C’mere,” Louis husked.

Harry crawled up the bed and gave into the kiss Louis was determined to give him and a few minutes in, he could see why. He melted with a moan, wrapping his strong arms around Louis’ smaller body; thrusting against his lithe form to bring some kind of relief although it only really served to make him harder.

Harry sucked his lower lip, nuzzled their noses.

“Can I kiss you now?” He asked permission, the same way Louis had the day before.

Louis nodded and Harry slipped back down the bed and this time, he let Louis buck into his mouth; finding the deepness in the wetness of his cheeks and back of his throat; Harry keeping him there which seemed to make Louis mindless because he scrabbled to find footing on the bed to arch; trying to thrust deeper; further into Harry’s mouth.

Harry could deep throat with the best, but Louis was too jammed to let him; He rubbed gentle thumbs to his hips to ease his need and waited. And then he relaxed his throat and the rest of his body and he took him; just for short moments until he couldn’t manage it anymore but that was long enough because Louis spurted into his mouth shortly after; sated and done.

“Jesus!” Louis sighed. “Bloody hell!”

Harry smirked at his British-ism.

“Nice?” He checked; crawling back up the bed to lay by his boyfriend.

Louis nodded, dazed and panting. Harry gathered him up in his bunched arms.

“I don’t want there to be anyone else, Lou,” he murmured, kissing Louis’ bare shoulder.

“Better not be,” Louis warned darkly, surprising Harry for he flicked his eyes up.

“Just you,” he confirmed.

“Are you sure?” Louis asked, faintly. “You said that last time and then-” Louis paused.

“And then I got scared.” Harry admitted.

“So yesterday was okay then?” Louis wondered of their words.

Harry nodded, kissing his shoulder again.

“Don’t let me run too far,” Harry asked softly, sweetly.

Louis smiled and his eyes crinkled. Harry watched it fondly, with youthful eyes and an ease he had gotten accustomed to at _Chez Louis_.

“I won’t,” Louis promised as he wrapped his arms around Harry in reciprocation for his hug.

Harry nuzzled his skin. “Hmm,” he responded with a smile.

Louis melted at that sound; a noise that made him feel so appreciated, so loved. He’d have said it again if he didn’t think it would freak Harry out but he managed to withhold further declarations of his feelings. He needed to reign in his sixteen year old girl-side and act more like his thirty-two year old man.

“You gonna sleep for a bit?” Louis checked, kissing into Harry’s hair.

As if sensing Louis’ intention to leave the bed, Harry tightened his hold.

“M’with you,” he agreed.

Louis sighed. Well, the world wouldn’t stop because he didn’t go to work. He’d already taken the week off and he was remoting in via his laptop when he could. And he couldn’t very well do that now, could he? Not wrapped up with a hunky beau. No, work could wait, he decided.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys keep inspiring me to write, thank you so much :)
> 
> Ang
> 
> p.s song credits to Passenger and 5SOS

** CHAPTER 12 **

 

Louis was working in the study when Harry finally rose around midday. He heard voices in the kitchen and guessed Harry had gotten hungry and come in search for food.

He poked his head around Louis’ study door as he was finishing up a report.

“Hey, sugar-daddy,” Harry greeted with a boyish grin that was full of dimples and bright eyes.

They weren’t quite back to sparkling yet but Louis was working on it. He tensed slightly at the label.

“Hey,” he greeted back.

“Finally, he learns American,” Harry teased, coming right in, scoffing pastries messily and completely naked but his favourite pink boxer-briefs.

He curled impossibly into the chair opposite Louis’ desk, all legs as he devoured his breakfast, a devilish smile about his lips as he consumed his croissant.

“Hungry?” Louis enquired with a brow lift to which Harry stuck his tongue out.

“Why don’t you like being called daddy?” Harry asked then in his usual candid style.

Louis froze.

“I just don’t like it,” he offered.

“Did the asshole call you it?” He wondered, referring to Louis’ only and rather failed relationship.

Louis swallowed his throat tight.

“Yes.”

Harry finished his mouthful. He tilted his head. Louis looked about the room and rose to look out of the window onto the lawn. Harry came up behind him, folding his arms around Louis’ neck, resting on his collarbones.

“I’ve said it a lot,” he husked, his throat bearing the remains of his rather gratuitous morning, his voice ruined.

Louis felt himself react to that, to the memories of their passion, a passion he had worried may have waned in their struggles.

“It is what it is,” Louis said of each of their past experiences.

“It is,” Harry agreed, liking this mentality. “Can’t say I’m looking forward to going back to work,” he added softly.

Louis turned slowly in his arms, a nervous look on his face.

“You don’t have to,” he said with a swallow.

Harry made a bashful smile, all princess and pretty. He saved those smiles for the people he really trusted. Nobody else could see those smiles, he didn’t let them.

“Don’t even try and stop me,” he teased softly.

“I won’t,” Louis promised. “But I have an idea if you’ll think about it…”

Harry blinked. The cute moment was waning.

“Okay,” he frowned, just a little.

“You can stay here and give up your flat so you don’t have to pay rent anymore…and you can look for something else for work, maybe even do your music. I can support you Harry, I can help you do that…”

His face was so earnest and Harry didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“We’ve talked about this,” he reminded. “You’d still be buying me,” he said, all hurt and confused.

“No!” Louis cast quickly, shocked at Harry’s deduction. “No, this is different. You’re my boyfriend now; I’m allowed to support my boyfriend aren’t I?”

Harry looked at him.

“But you’re still paying for me.” He said in that way that made Louis believe this conversation wasn’t going to end well.

He didn’t want to fight about it, had just got Harry back in his arms, in his house, even.

He leaned forward and kissed Harry’s cheek.

“It’s okay. We don’t need to change anything. You can go back when you’re ready,” he quickly backed down.

Harry swallowed, flicking him an unsure look.

“You thought I’d give it up?” He checked.

Louis lifted his blue-grey eyes.

“I hoped you might.”

“Because you want to control me?” He guessed. “Now I’m here you don’t want other guys seeing me?”

Louis’ eyes widened fearfully because that was the truth, but he’d never try and control Harry. He could do as he pleased.

“I don’t want to control you,” he promised; his words brief but he felt any additional explanation might cause more aggravation.

“You do, though,” Harry argued with a bemused look. “You knew I was a pole dancer and that I showed my body off. Why would you get funny now? I’m not your possession any more,” he reminded.

Louis let out a breath. “You never were,” he pointed out. “Did you feel like you were?” He added, hoping for a negative answer.

“I do now,” Harry retorted.

Louis’ face softened. He looked honestly devastated.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to help. I thought I could. I mean, I have all this money and it means nothing to me but _you_ do,” he said emphatically.

Harry flicked his hooded eyes up.

“If you can’t handle seeing me dancing for other guys then how can this survive?” He wondered of their relationship.

Louis swallowed heavily. “I can,” he lied. “I just- fuck! This isn’t coming out right…”

“Maybe I need to go back to my place after all,” Harry murmured, turning to go.

Louis sucked in a shocked breath which Harry heard and almost faltered at, but he pushed through the pain slicing in his chest and climbed the stairs, heading for his room to gather his things.

“Harry, I won’t make you give it up,” Louis promised from the doorway where he’d followed him. “Don’t leave yet.” He added.

Harry was busy stuffing his things into his duffle bag and Louis wanted to stalk over there, wrap his arms in a tight band around Harry’s body and never let go. He might even drag him to the floor, pin him down and show him with his mouth and his body how much he needed him to stay…but he didn’t think Harry would appreciate such a display of authority since he was accusing him of being controlling.

“I need to work, Louis,” he was saying, with his wrecked voice and anger bubbling away. “I can’t be a kept man, spoiled and owned. I’m my own person…”

“I know!” Louis argued. “But you want to do your music don’t you?” He challenged.

Harry avoided answering, pressing his lips into a thin line.

“Harry, you can do your music if you want to, I don’t care about anything else, just you, okay? I just care about _you_ …”

Harry sighed; throwing his bag onto his shoulder.

“You told me not to let you run too far,” Louis appealed with a distraught face; all blue eyes and kissable lips.

Harry swallowed, feeling guilty.

“It’s not far,” he whispered. “I’m asking you to let me this time.”

Louis tried to kiss at his lips, tiptoeing to press himself to Harry’s body. They were both semi-turned on, but it didn’t matter because Harry didn’t give into the feel of Louis’ mouth upon his.

“Please,” Harry whispered, screwing his eyes shut.

He heard Louis give out the smallest gasp of shock, felt him step away.

He opened his eyes and Louis was no longer in the room. He instantly felt awful. He swallowed, wondering if he should just throw down his bag and stay. Louis needed him, he didn’t know why, but he did. And he was running again, it was the only thing he knew how to do. He didn’t know anything else.

He should go to the open mic night, he knew. Work could wait. He had to get his voice repaired in time; he needed hot water, honey and lemon.

Emma would make him a lovely soothing drink if he asked her.

His shrugged his bag off his shoulder. Suddenly he didn’t feel like running.

 

//

 

Louis had disappeared completely and Harry concentrated on getting to the talent session on time. He booked himself in and waited nervously for the singers to go ahead of him; his guitar case nestled between his black jean-clad thighs.

He’d chosen one of Louis’ black band t-shirts that came up a little tight on him but he didn’t care. His green scarf tamed his hair. His gentle hands rested on his knees as he leaned forward and put his chin to the tip of his guitar case.

“Pole’s missing you,” came a voice in Harry’s ear.

He turned sharply, finding Zayn grinning at him.

“Hey, man,” he grinned back and hugged him warmly before he sat beside him.

“Wondered if you’d got lost,” he teased.

Harry frowned. Zayn should be working, with whoever was taking his slot while he was off.

“What are you doing here?” Harry wondered.

Zayn smirked. “Friend told me this guy plays sometimes. Said he’s a real talent- a heart-breaker, apparently…”

Harry remembered Louis saying that to him and for a second he was curious.

“Lou?” He checked.

When Zayn shook his head he felt disappointment flood him.

“Friend called Levi. He told me to come tonight and have a listen, hoped he’d show up. Said he was a bit of a drifter…”

“You knew it was me,” Harry gave him a sheepish smirk.

“I guessed,” Zayn twinkled.

“How did you get the time off work?” Harry asked next.

Zayn smirked. “Said I only work with the best.”

Harry turned and melted into a healthy laugh, taking a moment to appreciate his friend.

“Thanks for coming,” he said.

Zayn shrugged. “Nice to see you dressed for once,” he teased.

Harry nodded with a swallow.

“So, where’s Louis?” Zayn asked next.

Harry stiffened. “I don’t know.”

“You’re staying with him still, right?” His friend checked.

Harry nodded, and then when Zayn lifted a brow he started explaining.

“We had a fight earlier I don’t know where he went,” he admitted.

“What about?” Zayn wondered.

“Stuff,” Harry mumbled; dipping his head.

“Come on, spill,” Zayn encouraged. “Can’t shock me, right?”

Harry mused at that. No, probably of all the things Zayn had seen him do or heard him say, this was the least shocking.

“He wanted me to leave the club and do music. He wants to pay for me. And he’s jealous of other guys seeing me dancing. Even though that’s what I do,” he argued. “And he knew that going in so…”

“So…” Zayn led.

“So now he’s trying to control me,” he finished of his real issue.

Zayn stayed politely quiet for a minute, refraining from saying anything. Eventually Harry turned to him.

“Okay, what? What aren’t you saying?” He demanded.

His friend cleared his throat.

“Just my opinion,” he ventured carefully. “But Louis is the best thing that’s happened to you,” he reminded gently. “And I’ve never seen him trying to control you.”

Harry opened his mouth but nothing came out so Zayn went on.

“He’s allowed to be jealous,” Zayn pointed out. “And since things have got a little more serious, I’d kind of hope he was to be honest…”

Harry couldn’t disagree with that sentiment.

“Is it the freedom that freaks you out?” Zayn wondered. “You think he’s controlling you but really it’s the freedom to do what you want that scares you?”

“He’s paying for me,” Harry argued.

“So you wouldn’t?” Zayn challenged.

“What?” Harry sighed, feeling stressed.

“If Louis was working in some god-awful strip bar and was so miserable doing it that he took an overdose and his only way out was for you to support him while he got himself sorted out, you wouldn’t do it?” Zayn asked.

Harry swallowed. His throat was dry.

“Of course I would,” he admitted on a whisper.

“He’s not controlling you, Harry,” he added gently. “He’s saving you.”

Harry flicked his eyes across, meeting Zayn’s kind ones and he reminded him a lot of Louis in that moment. Kindness. Always.

“Oh, fuck,” he whispered.

Harry’s name was called from the stage and he had to get ready to sing.

Zayn leaned in. “You might want to dedicate your song to him,” he murmured and Harry closed his eyes, knowing Louis was watching.

He didn’t know where he was sitting or why he hadn’t come to say hello- okay he did know why, because he was a dick- but he knew he had to make things up in two minutes or less.

“As always, for Louis,” he husked.

He began to strum; letting himself thread through the chords and dance with the rifts as he became his song.

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low_

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

_Only know you love him when you let him go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

_Only hate the road when you're missing home_

_Only know you love him when you let him go_

_And you let him go_

_Staring at the bottom of your glass H_

_oping one day you'll make a dream last_

_But dreams come slow and they go so fast_

_You see him when you close your eyes_

_Maybe one day you'll understand why_

_Everything you touch, oh it dies_

_But you only need the light when it's burning low_

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

_Only know you love him when you let him go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

_Only hate the road when you're missing home_

_Only know you love him when you let him go_

_Staring at the ceiling in the dark_

_Same old empty feeling in your heart '_

_Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast_

_Well you see him when you fall asleep_

_But never to touch and never to keep_

_'Cause you loved him too much and you dive too deep_

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low_

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

_Only know you love him when you let him go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

_Only hate the road when you're missing home O_

_nly know you love him when you let him go_

_And you let him go Oh oh oh no And you let him go_

_Oh oh oh no Well you let him go_

_'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low_

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

_Only know you love him when you let him go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

_Only hate the road when you're missing home_

_Only know you love him when you let him go '_

_Cause you only need the light when it's burning low_

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

_Only know you love him when you let him go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

_Only hate the road when you're missing home_

_Only know you love him when you let him go_

_And you let him go_

He was getting applause and he stood to exit the stage but the chant of ‘encore’ overtook the room and the host of the night signaled for him to ‘play another’ _._ He sat back down, searching the room for a pair of blue-grey eyes. He found them, at the back, always hiding, always out of the spotlight. But his strength all the same. His reason for being here.

“For my love,” he introduced his second song, pointing his plectrum at the handsome man in the back long enough for everyone in the room to turn to look.

He was vaguely aware of Louis fidgeting shyly. He was minutely aware of his blush, barely visible in the darkened room. He was extremely aware of the huge, crinkled-eyed, teeth-baring, loved-up grin Louis gave thereafter.

_Within a minute I was all packed up_

_I've got a ticket to another world_

_I_ _don't wanna go I don't wanna go_

_The silent words are hard to speak_

_When your thoughts are all I see_

_"Don't ever leave," he said to me_

_When we both fall asleep underneath the same sky._

_To the beat of our hearts at the same time._

_So close but so far away. (Can you hear me?)_

_He sleeps alone._

_My heart wants to come home._

_I wish I was, I wish I was beside you. H_

_e lies awake. I'm trying to find the words to say._

_I wish I was, I wish I was beside you._

_Another day and I'm somewhere new._

_I made a promise that I'll come home soon._

_Bring me back, bring me back to you._

_When we both wake up underneath the same sun._

_Time stops, I wish that I could rewind._

_So close but so far away. He sleeps alone._

_My heart wants to come home. I_

_wish I was, I wish I was beside you._

_He lies awake. I'm trying to find the words to say._

_I wish I was, I wish I was beside you._

_The pieces of us both_

_Under every city light_

_And they're shining as we fade into the night_

_He sleeps alone._

_My heart wants to come home._

_I wish I was, I wish I was beside you._

_He lies awake. I'm trying to find the words to say. I_

_wish I was, I wish I was beside you._

_He lies awake._

_Beside you. I wish I was, I wish I was..._

_He sleeps alone. My heart wants to come home._

_I_ _wish I was, I wish I was..._

Harry finished his last note and paused; sucking in a breath. The room was silent for a long moment before loud applause sounded out. He stood and let out a relieved breath and he felt himself sway a little under the spotlight.

He carefully left the stage; finding himself in a tight hug from Zayn.

“You were amazing!” His friend commended.

“Thanks,” Harry smiled weakly, drained from his emotional performance.

“Meet my friend, Levi,” Zayn introduced Harry to a tall, kind-looking black man with dreadlocks.

“Hey, man,” Levi shook his hand.

“Hey, you enjoying the show?” He asked. “Zayn said you’ve seen me play?”

Levi nodded. “Been coming here for days looking for you,” he admitted.

Harry bit his lip. “Well, here I am…”

“We’re looking for an artist just like you,” Levi shared, flicking a card toward Harry.

Harry took it.

 _Levi Jackson. Music producer_.

Music producer? What?

He opened his mouth.

“You want to use my vocals?” He guessed.

Levi laughed, flicking Zayn a look, slinging an arm around his neck.

“I want you to sing and record your own stuff,” he clarified.

Harry didn’t get it, he really didn’t. You didn’t just walk into an open-mic night and get offered a recording opportunity.

“Zayn can be your manager,” he winked. “I’ve taught him everything he knows…”

Harry gaped at his friend.

“You?” he gasped. “You’re a scout?”

Zayn nodded. “Among my other skills…”

“And this had nothing to do with Louis?” Harry checked, hoping Louis wasn’t stood right behind them.

He checked. He wasn’t. He stretched his neck a little further, sourcing him by the bar, waiting patiently. He shot him a hopeful smile. _Please stay there_.

“Nothing at all,” Zayn confirmed.

“Wow,” Harry shook his head.

“Call me, we’ll set a date,” Levi suggested and Harry nodded, awed.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Harry accused his minder.

Zayn twinkled. “Would you have sung the same if you’d known?”

“Probably not,” Harry conceded, then, “Wait! You told me to sing something to Louis!”

Zayn chuckled. “You sing love songs the best,” he teased.

“You mean break up songs,” Harry rolled his eyes.

Zayn paused. “He’s waiting for you,” he said and it reminded Harry of all the times Louis had sat outside the club patiently waiting in the car for him to finish work.

He gave Zayn a big hug and headed for the bar. He never could do trite and apologetic so he aimed for his next best approach- all out charm.

He leaned front forward on the bar next to where Louis stood sideways; with two shots of scotch.

“What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?” He asked, trying to fight down his smile and failing. His dimples dipped by the sides of his mouth as he looked over the bar at the barman, giving him a wink to get served quicker.

“Buying the star act a drink,” Louis returned.

“I don’t drink alcohol,” Harry twisted, flicking his eyes down Louis’ body, making sure Louis knew how much he liked what he saw there. “Don’t suppose I can get a soda?”

Louis sucked in a breath, ordering his soda with a tip of his chin. Harry smirked at the fact the barman took orders from Louis that way.

“So, you look like a guy who’s on the hook-up,” Harry continued his little role-play.

“Don’t tell me, get my coat, I’ve pulled?” He offered his worst chat-up line.

Harry’s brow rose and he straightened, downing half his lemonade only to hide a burp under his hand. He looked down on his little Louis just a touch.

“You’ve definitely pulled,” Harry husked, liking his British humour way too much.

Harry reached forward, cupped his cheek and brushed his thumb there. He felt more than saw Louis draw in an anticipated breath.

“I hear some asshole keeps fucking you around,” he murmured in Louis’ ear.

Louis swallowed. “He’s more than an asshole. He’s my boyfriend…”

“Can I show him what he’s missing?” Harry asked, soft, low, sexy.

Louis blinked, his lashes hitting his cheeks in a way that told Harry exactly how vulnerable he felt. He wanted to say yes to his kiss but he was afraid. He was afraid of being hurt again, the way Harry kept hurting him.

Harry leaned in and pressed his lips to Louis’ cheek, high up, near his eye; eyes that he hid so Harry wouldn’t see the truth of his pain.

“He’s going to regret the day he ever let go of you,” he whispered, tilting Louis’ face up with the heel of his palm; leaning down to kiss him in the most delicate yet longing way Louis thought he had ever been kissed.

Harry consumed him; with such gentility, such tenderness; he felt his body harden at the need of it all; the quiet urgency, the silent passion. There may as well be nobody else in this room and no music in the background because when they parted and gazed at each other; they only acknowledged each other.

“Boy, he’s really missing out,” Louis sighed of the imaginary boyfriend Harry had made up for him.

“Idiot,” he cast, trying to find semblance after that kiss. He may as well give up now; he never had any wits about him as far as Louis was concerned.

“He’s _my_ idiot though,” Louis reached up to run his fingers into the long mess of curls that was Harry’s hair.

Harry softened at his touch; at his words.

“Is he?” He asked, all hopeful and teary-eyed.

“He better be,” Louis countered ever-so-softly. “I’m one jealous son of a bitch…”

Harry barked out a laugh; grasping Louis close in a hug, only to pull back and kiss his mouth, hotly.

“You two are so cute!” A pretty blonde dove into Louis' and Harry’s sides, forcing herself between them.

Harry flicked Louis a look as if to ask ‘Do you know this girl?’ Louis smiled back at him.

“Harry, meet Kit, my sister,” Louis introduced.

Harry blinked, suddenly clicking. She had his same blue-grey eyes and kind smile.

“Hey,” he answered as he grinned his best grin and reached down to hug her.

“Kit, this is Harry,” Louis added, slightly unnecessarily.

Kit smiled at Harry.

“I’ve heard all about you,” she winked.

Harry gulped, flicking a look to Louis.

“How you charmed the pants off my brother…” she added and Harry relaxed a little.

And then he flicked a curious look to Louis. Louis poked Kit in the side.

“I don’t believe those were the exact words I used…”

“No, you said you fell head ov-” Louis clamped a hand across his sister’s mouth.

“She’s drunk,” he told Harry, but he needn’t have bothered, Harry was giving him the biggest, fondest grin.

“Did he tell you we had a fight?” Harry asked, quite honestly, but his gaze remained on Louis as he spoke.

“Yep,” she leaned into Harry’s side, instantly liking him and he slung an arm around her shoulders with his usual ease. “Loved your make-up song by the way,” she added. “Song _s_ ,” she amended.

She had an accent Harry didn’t recognize and he wondered why she sounded different to Louis but he’d ask later, he was just pleased to get to meet more of his family.

“Kit turned up unannounced at the airport this afternoon,” Louis went on to explain his absence at the house. “She insisted she meet you.”

Kit kissed Harry’s jaw.

“Any man that dates my brother is a friend of mine,” she reasoned.

Harry chuckled. “I like your philosophy.”

“I mean, he said you were gorgeous but…” she stood back a moment, enjoying the view. “You’re way out of his league…”

Harry shook his head. “I think you’ll find it’s him who’s way out of _mine_ ,” he corrected.

She crinkled her nose. “You’re cute.”

Harry lifted his brows. He’d not been cute before.

“So’re you,” he decided. “And I’m sure you have a tonne of childhood stories to spill on little Lou, here,” Harry winked at his boyfriend.

Louis rolled his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to talk to Harry more, to kiss him more…maybe something else, too. The arrival of Kit had ruined that somewhat.

“Not tonight,” she said. “Your friend Zayn is taking me clubbing,” she shared.

Harry looked to Louis.

“Is he now?” He asked.

Louis smirked. “I can trust him with my sister, right?” He checked.

Harry nodded. “Completely.”

“Good. I’m too old to go clubbing so I’m going home while Kit makes the most of her night…” Louis narrated.

Kit hugged Louis then, spontaneously.

“Thanks, bro,” she cheered as though he’d given her permission.

“Welcome. See you later?” He guessed and she grinned and turned to Harry.

Her hands came to his chest to steady herself and she was overly affectionate but somehow he didn’t mind.

“Now, you sexy thing,” she began, with a slight downturn of her lips. “Shame you’re gay, _but_ -” she added. “Will you take care of him for me?” She wondered. “I worry about my Lou so much…”

Harry swallowed. She had reason to. He flicked Louis a look.

“I’m going to try,” he offered.

She smiled, all happy and tipsy. She kissed him on the mouth.

“Yay. Now where’s the dance floor,” she murmured, caught in the capable arms of Zayn who waved goodbye to the two guys left at the bar.

Harry bit into his lip.

“Head over heels?” He repeated Kit’s unfinished sentence.

Louis lifted his chin, suddenly unafraid.

“Yeah, I am,” he admitted.

Harry tilted his chin down just a touch, placing a lingering kiss there.

“Me, too,” Harry murmured. “As if my freaking out doesn’t tell you as much…” he added wryly.

Louis slipped his arms around Harry’s waist.

“You can’t get rid of me,” he said boldly.

Harry smirked. “I never left.”

“I know,” Louis said.

Harry swallowed.

“I won’t. I promise.”

And that was the first promise he’d ever made. And he planned on keeping it.


	13. Chapter 13

** CHAPTER 13 **

 

Everything Louis did was always so calm, so calculated. He reveled in being in control, in being able to hide his true emotions and put a guard up. As he and Harry tumbled through the house, all those walls came crashing down and he couldn’t hide his desire for his boyfriend.

He groaned as Harry pushed him into the wall; possessively. He grasped his curls and strained his body to be nearer, to be the closest they could possibly get which was kind of hard with clothes on.

Harry seemed to pre-empt his thoughts because he was dragging Louis’ t-shirt off and his cool, shaky fingers were dancing over his stomach; pressing up over his chest as his hands enjoyed the naked flesh there and his t-shirt was thrown away; no longer needed.

Louis reached to find Harry’s tee hem to repeat the action, smirking as his top resisted on Harry’s body a little from how snug it fit. His sparkling eyes met Harry’s blown-out ones.

“I like seeing you in my clothes,” he admitted.

Harry bit into his swollen lip. “Same,” he shared.

Louis’ hands went to his jeans then and he had to slip his hands down the back of them to grasp his butt as Harry lunged forward for another long, messy kiss that pressed him into the wall helplessly.

For some reason, Harry needed to own him tonight and Louis wasn’t complaining to be honest. He loved it that Harry was being so demonstrative and he loved even more the way he trembled with their unspent passion, the way he was a tiny bit uncoordinated because of how real this was.

He liked that Harry wasn’t acting.

He finally managed to push Harry’s jeans down where he kicked them off and he looked at him as he drew away from their kiss.

“We should go upstairs,” Louis suggested, panting.

Harry twined their fingers and led the way; quickly spinning as he came into Louis’ room, his hands going to Louis’ hips to cup there; bringing him close into his groin where he kissed him again with a loud groan, He backed up to the bed; gently bringing Louis down beside him where he leaned his knee between Louis’ thighs and his fingers went to his jeans to undo them at last.

Louis was already hard, Harry’s fingers brushed him as he struggled to free him and Louis couldn’t help his giddy grin at Harry’s inability because it meant he was so turned on he couldn’t even undress him properly. He groaned as Harry’s fingers brushed his hardness again; his hand turning to cup him through the material.

“Fuck, Lou, so hard for me,” Harry whispered; joining their mouths once more; taking and giving desire in equal tongue strokes as they entwined on the bed; close but not close enough.

Louis scrabbled his hands to his own jeans and shakily released them; letting Harry peel them off his body with the slow tenderness he suddenly adopted. Harry’s lips kissed at his hips; into the ‘v’ that pointed toward his dick and when Harry’s hands cupped his backside; gliding onto his thighs, he bucked up, needing more.

“Need these?” Harry pinched the cotton of Louis’ underwear.

Louis shook his head, gasping in air. He could barely breathe but he made a strangled sound in his throat as Harry undressed him. He had no idea this could be foreplay, the simple art of being revealed. The way Harry revered him though; he felt it should definitely become an official art-form.

“So fucking hot…” Harry muttered as he turned Louis over to kiss his behind, something that Louis screwed his eyes shut at; thrusting into the bed.

“You like that?” Harry husked.

“Aah-ah,” Louis whimpered, needing more, needing skin, and needing hard muscle against him.

Harry reached round him and took him in a tight fist, letting Louis fuck into his hand instead of the bed.

“Jesus-fuck!” Louis hissed; pushing his ass up where Harry still hovered.

Harry’s eyes lit up and he reached for the lube; keeping one tight fist around Louis’ hard dick while he circled his hole with his other fingertip. Louis pitched into the bed; shoulders first; drawing his knees up to put himself in just the right position. He might even be embarrassed about his neediness if he wasn’t so turned on.

“So fucking perfect,” Harry husked; his voice all but gone from the day’s wear on it.

He ran an appreciative hand over Louis’ ass; pressing his thumb against his hole experimentally. Louis whined and Harry knew he had to work fast which was going to be difficult considering Louis’ tightness.

He pressed his thumb a little harder, Louis grasped the bed sheets and cried into them so Harry pressed all the way in, his invasion thick but short. Louis bucked back, taking him.

“More,” Louis demanded rocking against Harry’s hand which brought him pleasure from both sides as his dick was massaged and his butt filled.

Harry switched to fingers, lubing them up, gently slipping one in, but all the way; as deep as he could go. His knuckles pressed to Louis’ rim as he saw Louis’ mouth open in silent pleasure.

“Yes!” he gasped when he could, still fucking away at his hand which almost made Harry come undone right there.

To see Louis so compliant, so submissive, it was all kinds of fucking hot.

He slipped a second finger in, stretching him now. Louis bit his lip to stop his cry. Harry suspected there was a little pain in that pleasure, but he widened his fingers apart to stretch him, more and more because he knew his size would probably be a stretch no matter what he did to prepare him.

“Louis, are you sure?” Harry asked, thinking they could still swap, he could still take Louis and they could save this for another day.

He leaned over and kissed Louis’ neck; over his shoulders, tightened his fist and fucked him with his hand a little harder.

“Please!” Louis cried his voice high and filled with need. “Please, Harry…I need you,” he panted.

Harry stretched his fingers right out, curled them to hit a spot he knew would make Louis’ legs tremble. He did and Louis’ thighs quivered as he buried his face into his forearms, not able to bear the pleasure much longer. He thrust limply into Harry’s hand and his beautiful muscled body was taut with holding back.

“Please, Harry,” he begged.

“Please what?” Harry shadowed his body, running a hand down from his neck to his belly; around his hip and over his ass, his fingers having left the dark tightness behind. He pressed the head of his dick to that hole, the tight little bud he was about to invade. Louis gasped at the feel of him, now suddenly aware of how big he really was.

“Still want it?” Harry rasped.

“Yes! Fuck me, Harry! Please, fuck me…” his last words melted into a whimper, a sound Harry could get very much used to hearing.

He eased inside, with as much care as he could manage and he wondered where he’d learnt the restraint to do so because the few times he had actually been able to fuck, he’d pounded them, all his hard dick pushing limits to the edge.

But not with Louis.

Harry could feel the opposition to his entry, felt how Louis body would relax then tighten instinctively as he ventured further in. It was like a tide; opening, tightening with such beautiful rhythm. He began to gently rock his hips to ease the impact.

“Can you take me, Lou?” He whispered, quickening his hand on his hard dick to help. “Can you take all of me?”

Louis fucked into his hand and pushed back; forcing him deeper. Harry sucked in a breath and his hips flicked without his consent. He embedded himself deep in Louis’ ass and it was tight at the start but he was easing as he went deeper and he wasn’t even all-in yet but he felt like Louis was full. Louis was making choking sounds and Harry guessed he felt full too.

“Never had big like you,” Louis murmured, almost with a dream-like voice, all pleasure and bliss.

Harry thought really, for him to be taking it this way, he should sound anything but blissful. He ought to be split in two and crying out with the pain, but he wasn’t. He was loving it.

“Can you take any more?” He asked, hoarse and basically ruined.

He knew he wasn’t going to come out of this alive, it was too fucking intense, too much to bear. His dick felt tightly gripped, so perfect in Louis’; ass. He could feel the throb of Louis’ heartbeat against his invasion and he was sure his own was imprinted in Louis’ back as he curled over him, trying to hit his pleasurable spot. It worked because Louis pitched into the bed again, inadvertently fucking his hand.

“Ohh-” He heard Louis bite back another filthy moan. “Too much, too much,” he muttered after and Harry drew back.

He hadn’t even started fucking him yet and Louis was already halfway there. He wondered if he’d even manage to get a thrust in because this tightness, this stop-start was driving him crazy and he just wanted to grab the back of Louis’ hair and pull his head up while shafting him with his full length just to see what noise Louis would make then because he was sure his sounds couldn’t get any filthier.

Instead, he gently drew his fingers across Louis’ skin; at his neck, his shoulders, over his chest, down his belly; around his thighs.

“Where d’you go?” Louis whispered, pushing his behind back.

Harry eased forward, filling him up.

“All of you?” Louis asked, knowing it wasn’t despite the fullness he felt, the strain against his rim. He knew Harry had much more to give and he wanted to feel it. To be impossibly full and fucked to within an inch of his life. He didn’t care if he didn’t walk for days afterwards; he just needed Harry inside of him- all of him.

Harry leaned over to murmur in his ear.

“It’s too much, Lou, this first time,” he offered caringly, moving his hand up and down his shaft in a lazy remembrance not to leave that body part out of the fun.

“Please, Harry,” he dipped his head; grasping the sheets in desperate fists.

Harry eased away from his back, kneeling up, He let go of Louis’ hard-on for a minute to cup his hips; bringing him snug against his body. He ran his fingers across his pubic bone where his happy trail led to the top of his dick and he used his knee to push Louis’ thighs further apart, just a little.

“Arch your back,” Harry murmured, laying a kiss onto his spine.

Louis melted and eased his thighs wider; pointing his butt up; dipping his belly toward the bed.

“You look so fucking sexy right there,” Harry cast, working Louis up with his words. “All mine,” he rubbed a hand across his ass cheek. “So fucking beautiful and all mine…”

Louis was about to find something sexy to say in return but his words got jammed in his throat. Harry sank as deep into his body as he could go and the extra inches left Louis speechless, tight and full of Harry’s impressive manhood.

Fuck! Fuck, fuck fuck…

Harry screwed his eyes shut and fought the release his body wanted to make. He was so deep within Louis he could feel everything. Every shimmer, ever squeeze as his body tried to accept him- tried to accept his impossible size. Not many men had taken Harry this way, in full. He was amazed that Louis was willing to try really, but to do it- to take him…He knew his body was straining, was struggling, was ready to break.

“Yes,” Louis sighed; his arms giving way as his muscles trembled. He felt Harry press closer; fitting more snugly to him if that was possible.

He could come like this he realized; full and untouched. Harry didn’t need to do a damn thing because his body was so taut, so sensitive and aroused; he literally just needed to let the flow and ebb of his orgasm work up to the peak and blow spectacularly without any friction.

Harry began to move, though, out and in, just a little, a gentle rocking from his amazing hips. Louis pressed his cheek to the mattress and gasped each time he bottomed out; his thickness stretching his rim pleasurably.

Yes, he was going to be sore, yes, he was probably all kinds of insane for asking for this but fuck, it felt so good, so right…he couldn’t breathe for being filled with Harry and he didn’t want him any other way.

“Lou, so good,” Harry mumbled; mindless with desire, trying to get Louis to come first. “Take me so fucking deep…fuck! Who’s the whore?” He mused. “Fuck you,” he added as thrust; tempering himself by biting his lip.

“Do it,” Louis cast, reckless with abandon now, needing this climax more than he needed life itself.

Harry never knew sex could be this intense, this epic. And he knew it had more to do with Louis than anything else.

He did thrust, carefully, two, three times and he grasped Louis’ erection again to finish him; to bring them both to their peak because when Louis finally let go and his body jerked into Harry’s hand to pump out his semen; he gripped Harry tight in his ass and Harry came, too, hard and long.

He stroked Louis through his climax, drawing his pleasure out and he placed big, sloppy kisses on his back until he couldn’t move; both their bodies rinsed of energy and seed.

Louis collapsed forward onto the bed and Harry eased from his body as he did so; not sure if he should try and clean up.

“C’mere,” Louis motioned with his free arm- the arm he wasn’t laying on, to Harry to lay down with him.

Harry smirked and spooned behind him; tucking him up against his naked body, every inch touching that he could manage; his arm slipping around Louis’ waist where his palm flattened on his belly lovingly, stroking his long, dexterous fingers against that smooth skin that was roughened with hair.

“Fuck, Lou,” he murmured, nuzzling his neck.

He let his lips press there, lazily kissing. He wanted to mark Louis, to own him and so he sucked into that skin with a half-bite; leaving a bruise.

Louis merely whined and stretched out against Harry’s body one arm going behind his head to grasp Harry’s neck. With Louis’ body turned outward slightly, Harry trailed tender fingers all the way down his torso, resting back on his stomach.

He kissed his shoulder; leaned back so Louis was naked and wide open half-atop him. Louis settled there, blissful; and at ease.

“I’m not sure I can speak,” Louis admitted softly.

Harry let out a breath. “Ditto.”

“My brain is a little…weird right now.”

Harry stroked his belly soothingly.

“You are so fucking gorgeous.”

Louis smiled, quick and tight.

“Have to say, you’re pretty hot yourself,” he offered.

Harry cuddled him.

“And I love you,” he murmured, all soft and reverent. “I love you, Lou…”

“I love you too,” Louis returned, just a little frown marring his features that Harry wouldn’t see.

“I won’t run again,” Harry nuzzled his neck.

“Okay,” Louis agreed easily.

“There’s nothing left to run from,” he mused.

“Oh I don’t know,” Louis sighed. “I’m sure I can find a few things to scare you off…”

Harry smirked. “I hope not.”

Louis wriggled against him and sighed. “Hmm,” he hummed, loving the feeling of Harry's strong body under his, Harry’s chest pressed to his back, his now-soft dick pressed into his ass-cheek.

“Are you sore?” Harry asked worriedly; his hand cupping Louis’ hip as Louis stretched out a little more, enjoying the languid moment. He didn’t seem to mind baring himself and Harry was glad of it. He wanted to see Louis-all of him; he didn’t want him to hide.

Louis bit his lip. Yes he was sore. He could feel the tell-tale throb from their rather over-indulgent sex. But fuck it. He wanted to be sore because of Harry. He wanted to walk with a limp if he had to because taking him; all of him, had been the best moment of his life.

“Amazingly so,” he answered with an impish grin.

Harry felt his own, more salacious grin, curve his lips. “Really?” he questioned. “You like that?”

Louis couldn’t hide the little whimper in his throat.

“Mm-hmm,” he managed in reply.

Harry brushed his lips against his neck.

“Good, I like to top sometimes,” he admitted then.

Louis smiled. “As much as you like,” he offered.

Harry bit back a groan. “Like you inside me, too,” he added roughly.

Louis shivered. He still remembered their first time. His first proper time since he now knew the sex he had with his ex was nowhere near what it should have been.

“I like that, too,” Louis assured.

He wasn’t sure if he should turn in Harry’s arms, if they should kiss, if they should instigate something else. It seemed like the moment passed for them to do so, both happy to end their night in each other’s arms.

“Thanks for coming to see me play,” Harry said then, sobering from their tenderness somewhat.

“Blame Kit,” he teased.

Harry smiled. “She’s sweet,” he commented.

“Yeah,” Louis agreed. “She is.”

“Hey, don’t get up without me,” Harry asked, all soft and hopeful.

Louis swallowed. “I won’t,” he assured.

Harry loosened his arms so Louis could find a better position to sleep in and neither of them really cared about the mess on the bed or how they were sticky with it, they just curled up and held each other tightly, both afraid to let go.

 

//

Harry woke first and he wasn’t sure if it was because he was too hot, or because he was afraid of Louis being the first to wake and possibly breaking his promise not to leave the bed before Harry woke.

He leaned over to kiss Louis’ cheek, studying his smaller, muscled boyfriend and his lovely, golden brown hair.

“Lou,” he whispered, nudging him awake. “Lou, we have to clean up,” he reminded.

Louis groaned and burrowed into the bed. When this didn’t bring him comfort; he burrowed into Harry instead.

Harry kissed his hair.

“C’mon, you get in the shower and I’ll make the bed,” he suggested.

Louis unfurled, cupping Harry’s face with one small hand and kissing his ravaged lips.

“Will you join me in there?” He asked, still husky with sleep.

Harry let his lips curve just-so.

“Do you even need to ask?”

Louis smiled, too, a wide, stunning grin that took Harry’s breath away as he lazily climbed out of bed, still not quite back to his previous athletic ease.

He watched as Louis slid to the edge of the bed with a wince on sitting up, quickly standing only to pause and stiffen momentarily. He began a delicate walk toward the bathroom, but Harry intercepted him.

“Lou,” he frowned, catching him in his gentle, strong arms. “How much does it hurt?”

Louis leaned forward to place a kiss on Harry’s chest.

“I’m fine, I promise,” he said.

Harry tilted his head. Louis was most certainly not fine. He shouldn’t have given in to his demands, he knew it was too much and yet Louis had begged him; had taken it like he wanted to be filled with him forever more.

He swallowed.

“I’m sorry,” he nosed into his neck; stooping to reach.

Louis lifted his arms to wrap around his shoulders with a pleased smile; a giddy grin if Harry had seen it.

“I’m not,” he assured.

Harry released him then to let him make the rest of the way to the bathroom, a progress he watched intently until he disappeared from view. He made fast work of the sheets and tucked in fresh bedding; meeting Louis in the shower.

His smile was boyish and carefree.

“Gonna wash me then, old man?” He teased; handing Louis the shower gel.

Louis took it and complied, letting his hands roll over Harry’s body happily; his own body warm and buzzy when he’d finished.

“You missed a bit,” Harry pointed to his unloved dick.

“No,” Louis said, sinking to his knees.

Harry gasped and grabbed the side of the shower behind him as Louis swallowed him whole, no foreplay, no teasing.

“What…why?” He panted, closing his eyes, groaning out as Louis tongue flicked around him.

“Hmm,” Louis hummed, enjoying his task seemingly.

Harry had nearly forgotten what it was like being fucked by Louis’ mouth, it seemed like so long since he’d had this pleasure and he still wasn’t quite sure why Louis felt he deserved this treat, but he wasn’t about to complain.

Louis’ hands pressed against the fronts of his thighs as he pleasured him; Harry definitely did not thrust into his mouth this time and Louis quickly brought him to his peak with his expert mouth, a fact that still surprised Harry somewhat. Once he’d recovered from his orgasm, he took Louis’ own morning erection into his hand and kissed him silly amounts while he curved his hand over him; slowly to draw him out, but Louis was already sensitized and needy for his own release which Harry owned with a smug grin.

He kissed him, couldn’t seem to stop, really.

Louis grinned as their kisses extended and they became pruney under the onslaught of water.

“Breakfast?” Louis panted in suggestion.

Harry swallowed. He could say he wasn’t hungry, could eat Louis’ load and never leave the bed all day, but Louis was new to all this- he didn’t seem comfortable with sensuous hours of nothingness. He liked order to his day, structure and…well, breakfast.

Harry kissed his temple.

“Meet you downstairs,” he promised, wrapping himself in a towel before disappearing back to his own room.

 

//

Harry was eating heartily and Louis was pleased to just watch him devouring his food hungrily; something he was almost proud to lay claim to. Before, Harry hadn’t eaten properly and now he did, feasting like King and looking like a little kid at Christmas with all the food choices in front of him.

He pretty much took one of everything and then came back for more while Louis curbed his appetite and thought about his slim frame not getting away with extra weight the way Harry’s lovely body could.

“You not working?” Harry asked as he took a break and swallowed a full glass of juice.

Louis shook his head. “Took this week off.”

“To look after me?” Harry asked softly.

Louis paused and then nodded.

Harry softened and reached across the table to thread their fingers together.

“Thank you.”

Louis smirked. “Not that you need it,” he mused of Harry’s destruction of their breakfast fare. “Plus Kit is visiting now, so I can spend time with her…”

Harry gave him that girlish smile he saved.

“I’m hungry,” he apologized.

“Good,” Louis smiled back. “It’s good to see you feeling better.”

“I’m going to have a swim and work out after breakfast,” he narrated. “I have something to do this morning.”

“Oh?” Louis lifted his brows as he sipped his coffee.

Harry met his eyes and Louis sucked in a breath at their intensity.

“I’m telling Jack I’m not going back,” he announced.

Louis swallowed, shocked. They’d just fought about this, just made up.

“You don’t have to,” he assured breathily, not believing the words, quite.

“I want to,” Harry assured. “And I’ve wanted to be able to for a long time I was just being an asshole when I couldn’t admit it,” he added.

Louis brought his hand to his lips, kissed each fingertip in turn, taking Harry back to that second night when Louis had took him on the boat.

“I know it must feel scary,” Louis commented.

“It does,” Harry nodded with a swallow. “And I’ll miss it just a bit…”

“You can be a guest-dancer,” Louis inserted with a smile.

Harry flicked his eyes up, all curly lashes and becoming gaze.

“Only for you,” he said then, surprising Louis once more.

Harry was basically giving him everything he’d wanted; if not asked for.

“Are you sure?” Louis asked lowly.

“Absolutely,” Harry dipped his chin in agreement.

Louis gazed at him.

“I don’t want other guys looking at me anymore,” Harry explained. “It’s just us, now.”

“Us,” Louis echoed, sucking in another breath, loving the sound of that.

Harry regarded him with a sheepish smirk.

“Would you maybe come with me?” He asked.

“Fuck, yes,” Louis breathed out, realizing how quickly, how emphatically he had answered. He cleared his throat.

Harry half-stood to lean across the table to kiss him.

“And then I need to call Levi,” he added.

“Levi?” Louis asked, and Harry had forgotten to tell him about the music producer he’d met last night.

“He’s a music producer, apparently Zayn is a scout and he’d tipped him off and he was there last night. He wants me to record a few tracks,” Harry shared.

“That’s amazing,” Louis cheered. “It’s all coming together…”

Harry fidgeted a bit in his seat.

“I’m not…like…addicted, you know,” he said then of his past with cocaine.

Louis swallowed, grasping his hand tighter.

“I just…feel like I need it sometimes…” he went on, brokenly.

“I can help you,” Louis assured softly.

Harry flicked sorrowful eyes to Louis’.

“You already do.”

“I’m glad,” Louis kissed his knuckles.

“But I might use again and it’s not easy for you to watch…” He warned.

Louis nodded. “I’ve never tried to stop you.”

“I know,” Harry almost burst into tears at the thought of Louis’ kindness in that. Most people in his position would be on a tough love tirade, trying to force him to quit, to not take it.

Louis seemed to sense that Harry was already at his limit and just needed support to completely get over it; to use if he had a moment of weakness, to not judge or chide him.

“I’m going to try so hard not to,” Harry finished earnestly.

“Hey,” Louis stood and pulled Harry into his arms where the taller man curled around him, hanging against his slight frame. “It’ll be okay,” he soothed. “We’ll get through this.”

“I don’t deserve you, Louis,” Harry whispered, clinging on. “But I’m so grateful I have you.”

Louis stroked his hand down the back of Harry’s head, flattening the curls somewhat. He leaned back from looking over his shoulder and pressed a kiss to his pouty little mouth.

“You’re mine now,” he husked. “You have to let me take care of you.”

And although his words were owning and could be construed as controlling, Harry knew they weren’t. Louis needed to be needed. And Harry did need him. And he still hadn’t worked it out, but Louis needed Harry too. And he hoped it wasn’t some warped saint like fantasy thing because once Harry sorted his shit out, he didn’t want Louis to change his mind about this-about _them_.

“I’ll try,” was the best he could offer.

Louis seemed to take that because he was kissing him again; his beard deliciously scratching against Harry’s soft skin. He couldn’t help his grin as they parted.

“Can I tell my boss to go fuck himself now?” He asked.

Louis chuckled. “You can, and I’ll watch you,” he agreed.

 

//

When they got back at lunchtime, Kit had returned from her night of partying.

She’d spent the night at Zayn’s apparently, and Louis wasn’t overly enthused about that.

“He slept on the couch,” Kit told her brother innocently from her perch on a stool at the breakfast bar.

Harry had slipped onto the seat beside her, leaning his arms back on the counter. Louis flicked him a look.

“He’s a good guy,” he defended of his minder and friend.

Louis seemed to accept Harry’s word for it.

“So what are your plans?” Louis asked his sister to change the subject.

Kit looked at Harry.

“Was hoping your boyfriend would take me shopping,” she said.

Harry let a surprised smile slip onto his lips.

“Me?”

She shrugged. “Like your style,” she said.

Harry chuckled.

“Alright, then let’s go shopping,” he agreed easily.

Louis squinted at them.

“I suppose I’m not invited on this little jaunt…” he hedged.

Kit smirked. “Nope, I want Harry all to myself this afternoon,” she confirmed Louis’ suspicion.

Harry tilted his head at Louis. Louis didn’t even need to give his permission, but he did anyway.

“I have some paperwork to catch up on,” he offered.

Kit stood up with a squeal, grabbing Harry’s hand.

“You’re so gorgeous and now you’re mine!” she enthused, making Harry frown a little worriedly as she dragged him off toward the front door, but Louis’ chuckle behind them told him he didn’t need to worry too much.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AW GUYS! For those of you that take the time out to write lovely reviews...just know you are the people that keep me going :)
> 
> I can't believe I forgot a story off my list!!
> 
> TomCat= Louis owns his own cat burglar business and plans to steal some very rare diamonds to deliver to an official museum...only Harry steps into the shop to try them on when Louis' colleague is meant to be smuggling them out! Harry ends up on a ride across state with a misplaced sense of morality, not believing Louis' story that he is a professional hired thief and as much as Louis wants to drop Harry to protect him, he also kind of likes having him along for the ride!
> 
> Ang

** CHAPTER 14 **

 

Harry had never been shopping with a girl before. Kit held his hand and pressed into his side and got really close to his face when she spoke and she said everything sexy, as though she was just too excited to be in his company.

If he wasn’t gay and she wasn’t aware of that fact, he’d think she was flirting but he’d already come to recognize that Louis’ sister was just plain tactile. And it was comforting of sorts. He felt kind of loved.

“Louis is so fond of you,” she spilled, over milkshakes and burgers.

Harry was glad she wasn’t the kind of girl that felt like eating salads was a way to live. He still couldn’t place her accent and planned to ask her about it when she’d finished on the subject of her brother.

“I’m fond of him, too,” he smiled, just a tad.

“Did he tell you I live in England?” She asked.

Harry shook his head.

“Did he tell you anything?” She wondered.

Harry cleared his throat. “Not really…we’re still sort-of new,” he excused. “I met your dad when he came, though.”

Kit rolled her eyes.

“Dad moved to the States when we were still teenagers; it was after our parents divorced…” she began. “Louis came to follow in his footsteps but he’d been hiding himself for a long time before he found the courage to come out,” she explained, but Harry knew that part. “I stayed in England with mum. We moved to Newcastle and Louis made a career out here…”

Harry flicked her a look. She had a soft smile on her face, something like pride lit up her features.

“I miss him, though,” she sighed.

“Then come live out here,” Harry invited easily. “This is a great place to live…”

Kit gave him a bemused look.

“Louis won’t want his little sister hanging around,” she denied.

Harry shrugged. “You’ll make friends, you already have two,” he pointed out.

She giggled, blushing slightly.

“Unless you and Zayn are more than friends…” Harry led with a knowing twinkle.

“He’s your friend?” She checked.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded with softness to his voice. “He takes care of me,” he added.

Kit tilted her head. “You’re good for Louis, you know,” she said then.

Harry made a disbelieving face.

“You don’t know the half of it…” he muttered under his breath.

“He actually smiles now,” she observed. “His eyes light up. When he talked about you on the phone…his voice changed,” she added. “I knew you were special.”

Harry bit his lip, aching with how _un_ special he was. With how little he had done to make Louis’ life better.

“I don’t feel like I am,” he shared softly.

“Well, you are,” she stated, standing up and grabbing his hand. “Now can we try on some dresses?”

Harry laughed; blew out some amused air.

“Don’t think Vegas is quite ready for that,” he mused.

Shed pursed her lips. “Scared, are we?” She challenged.

Harry squinted his eyes. Was she really daring him to try on a dress? As if they’d find one to fit his broad shoulders, anyway. He rolled his eyes.

“I haven’t shaved my legs,” he said only, making Kit giggle.

“Then we need a waxing salon, first,” she winked, dragging him away.

 

//

Harry was probably the smoothest he had ever been in his life. His skin felt like the softest silk and he felt like a complete girl in his get-up.

Kit had taken him for a manicure and his short nails now boasted nail varnish. Red nail varnish at that. He couldn’t help but purse his lips amusedly.

They’d then gone into a store for tall women and found him a wraparound skirt that could pass for a sarong which he wore with his white t-shirt and he’d had to dump his boots in favour of some flip-flops but he felt more like he was going to the beach than parading around town with his boyfriend’s sister.

Kit giggled at him and hugged him around the waist gleefully; over-excited at his participation in dressing up. She looked all gorgeous in a little dungaree suit and a white gypsy top arranged seductively underneath, large feather earrings in her ears which tangled with her long blonde hair.

She’d even found diamantes to stick to her face, adding some in a pretty pattern down the outside of Harry’s eye and onto his cheek. Honestly, if anyone he knew saw him now, he’d probably die a thousand deaths of shame but somehow, he didn’t care. It was the most fun he’d had in ages.

When Kit pulled him back into the house, he was dreading what Louis would make of it all.

“Lou-ee!” Kit shrilled as she skipped down the hall. “We’re back!”

“In here,” Louis called from the parlour and Kit dragged Harry in, all breathless with excitement until her eyes fell on the other person in the room.

“Mum,” Kit said, her excitement now blocked in her throat.

Harry lifted his brows to Louis in silent question and Louis’ eyes flicked down him and back up, trying to keep the smile off his face. The tips of his lips curved just-so and Harry caught the flash of attraction in his eyes.

“Mum, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Harry,” Louis introduced as if Harry wasn’t stood there looking very much like a girl.

Harry swallowed and stepped forward, offering his hand as Mrs. Tomlinson rose, her gaze also assessing Harry.

“So you’re the boy he’s been on about,” she said in the same accent that Kit had.

She forwent his hand and stepped closer to hug him.

“Cutie, aren’t you?” She asked fondly.

“Uh…I don’t usually…that is-”

“I made him wear women’s clothes,” Kit stated proudly.

Harry shot her a grin.

“I didn’t exactly complain…”

“Well, it looks good on you,” Mrs. Tomlinson assured.

“Thank you…er…Mrs. Tomlinson?” He guessed.

“Call me Sheila,” she waved her hand.

He nodded.

“Mum came to find you, Kit,” Louis spoke then, amused by this development.

Kit pursed her lips.

“Why?” She asked even though she knew perfectly well why.

“You just left the house and got onto a plane,” Sheila mused. “Forgive me for being worried…”

“You said I couldn’t come,” Kit argued. “I’m eighteen and can do what I like.”

Sheila nodded. “You’re right. Doesn’t mean I wasn’t worried, still.”

Harry peered between the Tomlinson’s wondering why this felt so much like home to him.

“I’m thinking of staying,” Kit said, grasping Harry’s hand for courage.

Harry swallowed. This could go against him if Louis and Sheila didn’t agree. He curled his fingers around Kit’s, though, for moral support.

Louis cleared his throat and was the first to speak.

“Why don’t you stay with me for the summer,” he suggested gently.

Sheila softened at that idea.

“You’ll need to apply for college,” she added.

Kit bit her lip. “I could get a job, mum. There are loads of opportunities here…”

“Doing hair and beauty?” Sheila scoffed.

Louis looked to Harry. Harry nodded his affirmation.

“There’s lots of make-up and hair artist jobs here,” he ventured.

Sheila regarded him.

“And you’ll be responsible for her, will you? My baby girl?”

Harry opened his mouth and closed it. Actually he would, he already felt like Kit was the little sister he never had and while they stood there hand in hand like a couple of seven year olds caught in the dress-up box, he felt like saying as much. But he figured that was Louis’ place and not his so he kept quiet.

“There are colleges here, mum,” Louis said. “Let her apply, if she doesn’t get in then she can come home and finish college before looking for work,” he added shooting Kit a look that warned her to keep quiet.

“She’d stay with you?” Sheila checked.

Louis nodded.

Sheila flicked a look to Harry, to the hands he and Kit clutched together.

“I suppose that’s a reasonable solution,” she led.

Kit squealed and ran over to hug her mother. She then hugged Louis and lastly, Harry.

Harry drifted over toward Louis, bending to kiss his cheek as Kit and Sheila caught up with fast, excited words.

“Nice going,” Harry commended of Louis’ idea.

“She’ll be in our hair,” Louis warned with a fond smirk.

Harry shrugged. “I like her.”

Louis slipped an arm around Harry’s waist, letting his features soften, his eyes crinkling in that way they did when he was really happy.

“I like your outfit, too,” he smiled.

Harry smiled back, slow and sexy.

“Thought you might…”

“Maybe we can head down to the hot tub,” he suggested lightly; having not had the chance to take Harry in there yet.

Harry’s brows rose and his grin deepened, as did his dimples. Louis almost forgot how to breathe. It seemed Harry had been hiding behind a tough exterior for too long and he wanted all his smiles to be like this- this care-free, this happy.

“Louis?” Sheila had been calling him but he’d been too wrapped up in Harry’s handsomeness to realise.

“Yes, mum,” he answered dutifully.

“Kit and I would like to have a girls only dinner tonight, would you mind?” She asked.

Louis almost laughed out loud. He managed not to.

“Not at all, you go ahead,” he allowed generously. His lips twitched with mirth. Never mind the fact he also wanted the night alone with Harry.

“We’ll talk in the morning about the details,” she offered and Louis nodded his agreement.

Yes, details could wait. Right now, there were more important things to worry about, like how quickly he and Harry could be naked.

As soon as the ladies left the house in search of a restaurant-Jake being their tour-guide- Louis grabbed Harry around the middle and kissed him; a long, low groan evidencing just how badly he’d needed to do that.

Harry wrapped his arms equally tightly about Louis’ shoulders and let himself be pressed into the front door, although it probably wasn’t the most comfortable place to be crushed, when Louis was doing the crushing, his mind didn’t seem to have the semblance to care.

It was all-consuming, the way Louis kissed him. As though his air was in fact Harry’s lips and he couldn’t get enough of them; had to keep crashing them together to survive. Their kisses weren’t always this hard; this desperate and Harry wondered if his dressing up had instigated this need that Louis was showcasing.

“Hot tub?” Harry pulled away, panting, asking.

Louis shook his head, twining their fingers and dragging Harry up the stairs to his room.

“Later,” he promised; pushing Harry onto the bed to straddle his thighs; shuffling up towards his hips; peeling off his t-shirt in one tug.

Harry let himself be stripped; helped Louis off with his own clothes and rolled them over; pressing deliciously between his thighs where their hard dicks met and rubbed in blissful friction. Harry captured his lips; doted on him a moment. It was almost like one of them had to decide where this went; who would go top and who would go bottom.

Harry grinned; eyes sparkling.

“I guess I’m the bitch,” he decided, rolling onto his back to untie his skirt; kicking it off along with his underwear. He stretched out, gloriously naked and ready to be ruined.

Louis rid his own trousers, stroked himself; tugged Harry back on top.

“I can’t Lou,” he husked, right into Louis’ ear, kissing his neck and sucking at his collar-bones.

“Ride me,” Louis husked back and Harry was surprised at his request.

So Louis knew a little about what he was doing then, he smirked as he straddled him once more and Louis reached for the lube, soon pressing two fingers into him; making him cry out. Louis’ other hand took hold of his dick and stroked there; pleasuring him from both sides.

“Want your hands on me,” Harry grasped at Louis’ wrists to tug them away from his very sensitive body; pushing them against his torso; his hip.

Louis gladly obeyed, reaching all of Harry’s naked form within his range; peaking his nipples, trailing fingers down his happy-trail; grasping his thighs, his butt…He could literally lay here and come from the feel of Harry alone. His body was leaking pre-come as a reminder to the fact he barely needed anything to be mindless with desire when Harry was in his arms.

And Harry was being very vocal right now, _very_ vocal. Louis found the abandon he showcased very alluring. He wanted to make Harry cry out, all night, really. He set his mind to doing so. Harry shuffled up; easing down against his rigid heat and Louis felt the hot tightness as soon as Harry sheathed him. He gasped in pleasured shock; moaning as Harry sank right down.

“Take me…take me,” Louis muttered, a slave to his need.

Harry bucked; pressing in deeper; bringing Louis tight inside.

“Deep enough?” He husked; his voice unsteady.

Louis dragged his feet up the bed a little, putting them flat to the mattress. He pushed his hips up, just slightly. He felt himself dig deeper inside. He pushed his hands up Harry’s thighs, pressing his thumbs into the sensitive skin right at the fattest part; making Harry groan and split his thighs wider and yes, Louis sank deeper still inside.

Harry’s moans were incredible. He threw his head back and didn’t bother to hide his pleasure.

“Deeper?” Louis’ kept pressing against his inner thigh muscles to ease his body open and Harry couldn’t do anything but follow orders.

He may as well split right in two and melt over Louis’ body, really. He’d never felt this loved and completely fucked out at the same time…

Louis began thrusting, just gentle little bumps of his hips but every two or three strokes he’d-

“Lou!” Harry cried as Louis circled his hips; reaching something inside of him that hurt with the pleasure of touching it. It was like to get to that pleasure it had to be unbearable, painfully so.

He widened his thighs as his muscles relaxed some more; now content in the knowledge he wasn’t going to get speared doing this, taking him this deep.

“Yes, Harry!” Louis gasped, wild with passion, not completely in control. “Yes, fuck! Let me…fuck…you…” he panted out desperately, doing just that as Harry rode his hips.

Louis’ hands curved around his waist; slipping down to finger the flesh that topped his hips and Harry wriggled, not happy with that extra weight his body carried but Louis seemed determined to hold onto it as Harry rocked; taking him, taking him over and again.

Louis began to shake his head; slowly, side to side like he knew what was coming and tried to deny it. He reached blindly for Harry’s dick; took a tight firm grip on it and looked right into his blown-out eyes.

“Fuck you right open,” he whispered; blue eyes intense and possessive.

Harry groaned, spread his knees further apart even though it hurt his thighs to; he didn’t care. He had to get Louis so deep into him he’d never get out again.

“There!” Louis grabbed his hips as he sank the farthest he could go; grasping Louis’ shoulders to keep himself there. “Yes, fuck, right there,” Louis groaned, flicking his hips to fuck up into Harry.

Harry felt the uncomfortable prod of Louis being too deep but he didn’t pull away. He leaned forward, waiting for Louis to flick again and when he did, this time it hit him right where he needed it. He cried out; tears coming to the edges of his eyes as the pleasure became too much. He couldn’t take any more. His body was quivering, full and ravaged. Louis was fucking into him as he bore down; meeting him stroke for stroke.

Of course, they were always like this, always intense and mind-blowing but fuck! This was something else. This was Harry letting Louis own him; one thrust at a time.

“All yours,” Harry whispered, voice ruined like his body and his mind. Louis managed three, four more thrusts and then it came.

In a big, juddering mess; Louis’ climax came, hard and heavy as he pumped into Harry’s body a last few times. Louis quickly finished his tight hand-job and Harry knew it was more the sense of being completely filled with Louis that made him come. And of course, he wouldn’t allow himself the pleasure of release until Louis had come first.

He sucked in breath, desperate for air; watching lazily as he covered Louis’ belly in thick white liquid. _Oops_.

He considered how beautiful Louis looked, laid there, all covered in come while Harry topped him, and completely fucked out. This was beyond anything Harry had known quite frankly and he still wasn’t sure how to cope with it all.

“Easy,” Louis warned gently as Harry went to move.

His reverence was spot-on because when Harry went to move, he felt his muscles protest. He tried a gentler approach and found it easier, but his body still protested as he brought his thigh across Louis’ body, reaching for a towel to throw to him so he could wipe his belly.

Louis quickly gathered him close as if he might slither off the bed into the corner Harry sure felt like it. He might curl up in that corner for days on end and refuse to be disturbed unless Louis wanted to fuck him again in which case he’d happily come out of hiding.

He felt Louis press kisses to his hair as he curled up onto his side.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Louis voice was husky and his hands were stroking his skin beautifully.

“Yes and no,” Harry answered, burrowing his cheek into Louis collarbone.

“Are you sure?” Louis worried, fingering through his curls. “I don’t know what happens to me but…when I’m inside you I just…” He hesitated.

“Lose your mind?” Harry offered, knowing that’s exactly how he’d felt when he was inside Louis.

“Yes,” Louis sighed, another kiss to Harry’s hair. “I’m sorry.”

“Fuck, Lou,” he moaned, wriggling about in his arms.

Louis rubbed gentle hands over him.

“I did hurt you,” he deducted from that.

Harry let out a sigh.

“You didn’t hurt me,” he assured.

Louis squeezed him.

“Never knew that could be so…uh…” Louis began, not sure where he had been going with that sentence.

“Deep?” Harry supplied, deep and husky.

Louis shivered at it.

“Yes, deep,” he agreed, relaxing a little.

Harry had to agree. He didn’t think he’d taken anyone quite that deep before. Now they’d both have aching asses to memorise their love-making.

“M’hungry,” Harry said then and it made Louis chuckle. It broke the heaviness in the air that always lay there thickly after sex.

“I’ll get you something,” Louis offered, swinging his legs to the side of the bed to stand up.

He went to pull on his boxers.

“Stay naked,” Harry husked and Louis pursed his lips.

“Emma could be down stairs,” he mused.

“I don’t care,” Harry countered. “Want to see you.”

Louis licked his lips. Alright, he could do this; it was his house after all.

“What do you fancy?” He checked.

Harry’s eyes sparkled in that way that told Louis he was remembering the time he’d answered that question with ‘you’ and Louis gave a stern talking to his dick for twitching in memory.

“Ice cream,” Harry selected and Louis padded down the stairs to fetch a carton of ice-cream and since Harry hadn’t specified a flavour, he had to fill a bowl with three varieties just in case.

Harry hugged the bowl to his chest as he ate hungrily; rather selfishly, too, since Louis had also gone without dinner.

Harry offered him a spoonful of mint-choc-chip as if realizing.

Louis took the mouthful of his favourite flavour and licked his lips.

“It’s melting,” he complained softly of the fact Harry had his arms wrapped around the bowl. They were still warm, from their love-making.

Harry tipped the bowl up to drink the liquid ice-cream and Louis chuckled until some dribbled down his chin onto his neck and he didn’t care if Harry was done with the bowl or not, he quickly knelt across his thighs to lap up that sweet mess, relishing in Harry’s sounds as he kissed him there.

“Lou-fuck,” Harry sighed; wriggling his hips so his hardness brushed Louis’ bare backside.

Louis drew back, a mock-bemused expression on his face.

“Do you have no control?” He accused softly.

Harry shook his head, Eskimo-kissing Louis with the action since their faces were so close. He tilted his head, stealing a kiss.

“Will you fuck me gently?” Louis asked, and his words were both honest and a little bold.

He knew his body couldn’t take Harry the way he had just days before. But he wanted to try.

How Harry managed not to groan at that, he didn’t know. Instead, he rubbed his hands over the skin of Louis’ ass, all curvy and round and full… he wanted to bite down into it and make him come from biting alone…

“Please,” Louis panted; his own dick rigid again from Harry’s quickened breathing alone; oh and the fact his dick was resting nicely in his ass-crack.

“I have a better idea,” Harry husked; twisting to lay Louis on the bed; his back against the mattress.

He curled his body further down, gently pushing Louis until he rolled into his front and then Harry began to kiss his skin, all over. From the dimples in his lower back, onto the top curve of his behind; down in between his cheeks; lower, right where his thigh met his buttock and then further forward; where his lips dragged against Louis’ tight balls.

Louis maybe liked that the most from the sounds he gave out. He even spread his thighs to assist Harry’s attack.

Harry spread his cheeks gently with his large thumbs; darting his tongue out to brush over Louis’ hole. The skin was dark pink there, probably still a little sore. Harry planned to kiss it better.

Louis rocked into the mattress, desperate and overwhelmed; his body taut with need and his mind overtaken with lust. He tried to lie very still while Harry lapped at him; circling his hole with the tip of his tongue and pushing just inside; enough to excite him, not enough to stretch him.

“Hmm,” Harry hummed, in appreciation and to let the vibration roll down over Louis’ sac; into his groin. He humped the bed again with a whimper.

If Harry wasn’t so busy pressing his ass cheeks apart, he might reach around and take him in his firm hand but he really needed to show Louis this, to treat him well. He kissed at his hole; letting his soft, pink lips linger there; laying the same loving kiss on his intimate skin that he did upon his mouth.

Louis cried out and fidgeted on the bed, Harry knew he was close.

He shifted up; laying his body very carefully over Louis’, grabbing the lube and lubing his hard dick as well as dribbling some into Louis’ ass-crack.

Louis sucked in air as though Harry was going to fuck him after-all but Harry merely smirked. This was way better, in some regards. Because it was all kinds of filthy and he knew Louis wouldn’t have done this with anyone else.

He rubbed his hand across Louis’ backside, letting his little finger slip toward the middle; drawing it down the crack. Louis panted out in anticipation.

“Like that?” Harry husked; all his weight pushing Louis into the bed and if he was to actually fuck him like this, Louis would be powerless.

Louis nodded, breathing out a ‘fuck, yes’, which made Harry harder if possible.

“How about my dick there?” He asked, just to be sure Louis was okay with that.

He watched Louis’ lashes flutter as he blinked, two, three times. And then he burrowed his face into the pillow and bit the back of his hand to stop his groan.

Fuck. He was really far gone, Harry realized. So far gone that even the thought of Harry using his butt cheeks to relieve himself had him almost-coming.

“Can you hold on?” Harry wondered, pressing the head of his dick down toward the bed; through the gap in Louis’ thighs.

The warm tip hit his balls and Louis whimpered; a soft mess against the bed now; soft apart from the raging arousal he’d given up trying to hump into the mattress. He’d decided to just let his body do what it wanted- come when it wanted.

It could be now, the way Harry was fucking his thighs. He hoped he’d fuck his ass instead; just up his crack like he’d said.

“Harry, please,” he begged. “Can’t hold on…”

Harry’s sizeable dick slid right into his ass cleft and Louis fitted on the bed; pushing back for more which Harry gave him, sinking a little deeper into his flesh. Louis reached back to part himself; giving harry a little more depth, a little more grip between his fleshy butt cheeks and Louis didn’t care how fucking gone he was right now, this was better than life itself.

Harry’s head was large; pushed through his smooth skin and bumped deliciously over his hole. He begged silently for Harry to slip it in, but he knew he needed a little longer to recover from that rather boisterous session.

Harry had struck up a rhythm though and every time he pushed down, he pressed Louis’ hard-on into the bed and it gave him the friction he needed to come. It didn’t take long for Harry to reach his high either and he buried his cock into Louis’ ass; letting his come spill into his crack obscenely; dripping down onto the bed and his balls. Louis had rutted into the bed to bring his release and he was wet both sides-front and back.

He couldn’t move because Harry was still laying on him; full body pressing him down. He didn’t know why he liked it.

Harry seemed to realise Louis was having trouble breathing since he started squirming, so he flopped onto his back; throwing an arm over his eyes. He hadn’t just done that, he hadn’t just done that…

Had he?

He bit his lip fearfully. Louis might have agreed in the heat of the moment but Harry had been crushing him. What if he hadn’t really wanted to do it? Harry felt his arm being lifted away and opened his eyes as Louis wrapped himself in that arm.

Louis kissed his jaw.

“Wow,” he hummed; snuggling. His ass was wet with come but he didn’t even care right now.

Harry sighed out. “Yeah…wow…” he agreed.

Louis cuddled into him and Harry protected him with his body; with his lips as he laid tender kisses into his hair.

“Was that okay?” Harry asked finally, not sure which words would really fit this moment.

Louis brushed his bristled skin against Harry’s chest.

“I’d say,” he agreed with a breath out.

Harry checked him over as if Louis might have broken bones from his domination moments before.

“We should shower,” Harry said, although his heart wasn’t in it.

Louis nodded, kissing his skin.

“In a minute,” he suggested; enjoying their embrace a bit longer.

Harry didn’t deny him the extra time in bed before they had to move.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't say enough how your kudos blows me away and you're amazing words :) I love hearing people's fave bits so keep sharing them!
> 
> I am working on 'Stockholm Syndrome' still I am dying to post it once its ready to see what you think.
> 
> Ang

** CHAPTER 15 **

 

Louis drove Sheila back to the airport a few days later. Kit relaxed by the pool with Harry while he was gone and when he came back; his boyfriend landed a very wet- but enthusiastic- hug on him.

Harry had in the last few days, set up a recording session with Levi and was busy practicing at all hours, often waking Louis up at 3am freaking out about his song choices.

Louis was pleased to note that Harry hadn’t felt the need to use again in those moments; which is what Louis worried about deep down.

Of course, Kit’s influence was strong and instantaneous. She was more Harry’s age, had a joie de vivre that Louis could only ever hope to own and it instantly rubbed off on them both and things became more playful in the Tomlinson household.

Louis found he’d often come home to the pair of them playing in the pool; or giggling in their own little bubble as they curled up together on one of their beds. In fact, if Louis had a mind to be, he could quite easily become jealous of their relationship.

But Harry adored him and he’d felt nothing but in the weeks that followed. No matter how well he and Kit clicked, Harry always made Louis his world and Louis felt stunned because of it. Of course, Harry was his world too and he was too proud of him for doing his music thing but Harry got bored mooching about the house once Kit found a college course to attend and he’d started looking for a job to pass his time.

He’d found something in the local music shop-kind of quiet and unassuming and perfect really, because when there was a lull he could sit down with a guitar and immerse himself in music.

Although he’d recorded tracks, these things didn’t happen overnight and he needed to keep busy.

It was one of those days when he was busy strumming away that an old client from the club came in; watching him for a moment. Harry had looked up, not placing him but knowing the guy was familiar somehow.

“Can I help you?” He stood up, laying the guitar down gently from his fingertips.

“You don’t remember,” the guy smirked. He was in his forties, not ugly but certainly not Harry’s type.

Harry swallowed.

“I’ve tried to forget a few things,” he countered, guessing what this was. He just didn’t know what this guy wanted, what he would get out of reminding him.

“You’re on the straight and narrow, then?” The guy checked.

Harry blinked. “I’ll never be straight. But I’ve cleaned up my life if that’s what you mean…”

The guy put out his hand. “Richard…” he re-introduced himself.

Harry shook his hand, still wary.

“Is there anything you’re looking at specifically?” Harry gestured around the music room.

Richard smiled. In that way that Harry hadn’t missed at all. Not one iota. The only person who got to look at him like that now was Louis. Louis who had earned it through the shit Harry had put him through. And Harry was trying very hard to pay him back by worshipping him.

“You,” Richard admitted. “But I think you already know that.”

“I’m taken,” Harry blinked coolly.

His guard had come right back up the second the guy walked in. He’d only just got used to letting it down long enough not to even realise he was doing so. He had Kit and Louis to thank for that.

“How taken?” Richard asked.

Harry smirked.

“Very taken,” he assured.

Richard didn’t seem to be put off by this fact.

“I can beat out any offer that Mr. Tomlinson made for you,” he said then.

Harry swallowed at the mention of Louis’ original bid for him. They’d had enough drama due to that arrangement and they’d come out the other side stronger.

“You can’t put a price on _love_ ,” Harry offered on a tight throat.

“Love?” Richard enquired, with a smirk that annoyed Harry.

“Yes, love,” Harry repeated flatly.

“Not even for one night?” Richard asked.

“No,” Harry agreed.

“He can watch…” he added.

Harry made a face.

“Sorry, I only sleep with guys I fancy now,” he arched, putting his hands on his hips.

“You fancied Louis for the right price,” he pointed out.

Harry squinted. How did he know Louis’ name?

“He got me for free,” Harry countered.

“Shame,” Richard sighed.

Harry made a face like ‘yes, shame, now leave’.

Richard hovered.

“I know some people,” he said then, very casually.

Harry made a bemused face.

“That’s nice.”

“People that hurt other people,” he added.

Harry swallowed a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Are you threatening me?” He checked.

Richard shrugged. “No. Just saying. Just putting it out there that anyone can be jumped in this town…even millionaires…”

Harry’s eyes widened fearfully and darted up. The breath left his lungs. He wanted to hurt _Louis_.

“Don’t be a prick,” he fronted his fear out. “There’s cameras in here, I can shop you straight to the cops,” he mused.

“No way they can trace it back to me, though,” Richard smarmed. “If anything should happen,” he added.

Harry honestly didn’t know what to do. There was no way he was going to be blackmailed but now he was worried for Louis.

“Really, this is how you want to get a guy? By threatening to beat up his boyfriend?” He enquired.

Richard turned toward the door, pausing.

“Think about it. I’ll be back.”

//

The first person that Harry went to see was Zayn. He knew he’d be working tonight at the club so he slipped in the backstage door so as not to draw attention to himself.

“Hey!” Zayn hugged him. “How’s things?”

“I need to talk to you,” Harry admitted.

Zayn frowned. “I’ve got to be out there in ten minutes. Can you wait until after?”

Harry nodded. “Sure,” he agreed uneasily; taking a seat in the club on the other side of the stage, enjoying the show as his clients once would have.

He had to admit, the performer who had replaced him was pretty good. But he watched with sad recognition of his old life. The guy’s eyes were glassy, stoned. He was into his art but the gratuity seemed over-the-top; forced and unrealistic. Harry wondered if he’d looked like this up there meat; trussed up to excite the crowds.

“Looking for your old job back?” Jack asked in Harry’s ear.

Harry lifted his head from where he’d been staring at his hands, unable to watch the show any longer.

“Not in a million years,” he promised huskily.

Jack smirked.

“They miss you.”

“They don’t even know me,” he pointed out of being able to sit there in jeans and a tee and not be recognized.

“I miss you,” Jack said and Harry knew he only meant for the dollars he drew in.

“I don’t miss this,” Harry replied softly.

“What’re you having to drink?” his old boss asked.

Harry shook his head. “Nothing,” he denied.

Jack’s brows lifted. “Not even a little Snow for you?”

“Nope,” Harry denied.

Jack looked faintly insulted. “The least you can do is have a scotch on the house.”

“I don’t drink,” Harry told him firmly.

“Soda, then?” Jack asked finally.

Harry swallowed. Zayn would be busy for another twenty minutes at least.

“Alright,” he agreed. “Just a coke.”

Jack smiled and returned a few moments later with his soda. He sipped it.

“So, how’s life?” Jack asked then.

“Really good,” Harry answered, taking another mouthful of his drink.

“How’s Louis?” Jack asked, making a bitter face to bely his true feelings of the man that had stolen Harry from his club.

“He’s good, too,” Harry assured, taking another two mouthfuls of his drink. It was so hot in here and he felt so goddamn nervous. Not that he should be nervous because he wasn’t doing anything wrong, but still, Louis didn’t know he was here, yet.

He frowned as he felt a whoosh around his veins, as though something was entering his bloodstream.

“What’s in this drink?” Harry asked Jack, then.

Jack smiled.

“Coke, like you asked,” he answered.

Harry frowned, his eyes meeting Jack’s in slow realization.

“You spiked it?!” He accused, standing. “You spiked my fucking drink?”

Jack chuckled, grasping his arms.

“Come on, Harry, don’t pretend you don’t miss it…look at you, you’re perfect for this world, you need Big C to survive…”

“I need you to get the fuck away from me!” Harry yelled, shunting Jack away with forceful hands.

Zayn hastened over.

“What’s going on?” He asked, seeing Harry’s wild eyes and how he was running hands through his long, curly hair.

“He spiked my fucking drink!” he cast of Jack. “Lou will think I’m using again! And I quit it, I quit everything… I didn’t want to take it anymore…”

Zayn tried to ignore Harry’s meltdown for a moment; turning toward Jack.

“What the fuck, Jack?” He sighed.

Jack smirked.

“We need him back. Pretty little whore belongs to me…”

Zayn shook his head; right before drawing back his arm only to land a resounding punch on Jack’s face. Jack toppled over and crashed on the floor; cradling his face.

“Fuck,” Harry awed of Zayn’s prowess.

“Come on,” he grabbed Harry’s wrist and tugged him out of the club; pushing him into a taxi.

In the taxi, Harry was bobbing his knee and muttering under his breath.

“Should I take you home?” Zayn asked.

“No!” Harry gasped. “Louis can’t see me like this,” he begged.

“He needs to know the truth,” Zayn pointed out.

Harry sank his head into his fingers.

“No, you don’t get it…I need you…I came to find you because Louis is in danger…”

Zayn shifted over and rubbed Harry’s back a little.

“Still, he’ll worry if you don’t go back tonight.”

“He’ll think I caved,” Harry appealed with big green eyes.

Zayn pressed his lips together.

“Lying to him isn’t the right thing, either,” he pointed out.

Harry sighed.

“Jack wants me back at the club and he’s willing to drug me to make me go. A guy turned up at the shop today and threatened to have Louis hurt if I didn’t sleep with him. Sometimes I just wonder if I’m meant to break free at all…”

Zayn was mildly grateful for the influence of cocaine in that was making Harry spill all his secrets. But now he was in a tough position. Louis, quite rightly, needed to know about these events even more so because Harry was vulnerable right now. But Harry was his friend first and foremost. And sometimes that meant doing the hardest thing.

He pulled out his cell.

“Louis? It’s Zayn. Harry’s staying at mine the night…yeah he’s fine…we met after work and had a drink… no, just a beer…yeah a lightweight,” he chuckled convincingly into the phone as Harry gazed at him. “Yeah, do me a favour? Stay at home tomorrow…when I bring Harry back he’ll be embarrassed and he’ll want to see you…I know…I just know he’ll appreciate it…”

Harry licked his lips, wondering if Louis was buying this shit.

“I will…alright, goodnight,” he finished up his call and looked at Harry.

“Did that actually work?” Harry wondered, disgusted at Zayn's lying ability.

“Did you ever doubt me?” He grinned in return.

//

 

Harry was pretty antsy at Zayn’s place but he managed to keep him fairly contained and even settled him in his bed; selecting to sleep on the sofa.

Harry had told him the whole sordid story about ‘Richard’- a guy Zayn knew very well- and his threats and how Louis was in danger. Zayn hadn’t quite worked out a plan to thwart Richard’s blackmail yet, but he began to wonder if Jack’s drugging of Harry wasn’t somehow linked.

Funny for the two things to happen in the same day and anyway, nobody got to Harry without going through Jack so Zayn knew he’d been involved somewhere along the line.

Still, he didn’t have a job to go back to now he’d punched out the boss.

When Harry woke the next morning, he was pretty groggy. He showered and dressed in yesterday’s clothes but he couldn’t hide the pinpoint pupils of his eyes or the wrecked look he sported. Louis was going to know.

He sighed, managing a light breakfast under Zayn’s watchful eye and the pair of them set off for _Chez Louis_ , Harry still not with it enough to really know what to say. He swung his eyes over to Zayn as he drove.

“Can you explain it all to Louis do you think?” He asked.

Zayn was surprised Harry was asking him. He’d assumed he would be the one to take charge but he felt honoured that Harry trusted him. He nodded.

“I have a theory I want to put to him,” he murmured.

“Kit’ll be home,” he added.

Zayn smiled. “Yeah, her day off,” he said to signal he knew this information.

“What if she got hurt?” Harry asked then, still on a down from last night’s narcotic.

Zayn reached over and squeezed his knee.

“Nobody is going to get hurt because believe me, I know a good few people-more than Richard I expect- and we’ll keep you safe,” he assured.

“What kind of people?” Harry frowned, just curious.

“Guys that got out of jail and not by the front door,” Zayn confided.

Harry lifted his brows, impressed.

“The boy can leave the strip but,” he sighed of his seedy life.

“It’s just one jealous punter,” Zayn reasoned gently.

Harry liked the way Zayn had picked up Kit’s British-isms because it reminded him of Louis and his occasional turn of phrase that dibbed him in as not being native. He hugged his arms around himself, feeling cold as they approached the house, the gates buzzed open for their ascent up the drive.

When Harry got out, Louis was already at the door and he ran over; cute and small in plimsolls and sweat pants with a vest. His arms went right around Harry; instantly seeing his vulnerable pose; all hunched in and shivering.

“What happened?” Louis shot a look to Zayn since he was the one who had assured Louis that Harry was okay only the night before.

“It’s a long story, we should go inside,” Zayn suggested.

Louis nodded distractedly; putting an arm around Harry as he led him in and he got one of the maids to bring a blanket down which Harry wrapped around his shoulders once he’d slipped off his jacket and pulled on his big, black jumper- the one he’d given to Louis.

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him down toward his shoulder where Harry happily burrowed into his neck; making Louis blink momentarily with the emotions he felt for the guy in his arms.

What had happened? Had somebody hurt him? Was Harry going to be okay? He didn’t know the answers but he was almost afraid to ask the questions. He knew from Harry’s pose that last night had involved using and he’d really thought Harry was past that. Still, he waited for Zayn to explain it all.

“Harry had someone make a blackmail threat to him at work yesterday,” Zayn began, in a way which one might expect a security expert to brief his team. “He came to find me to ask for my help but while he was at the club, Jack put coke in his drink…”

Louis’ eyes shot up, glacial and fixed.

“He what?” He whispered, grasping Harry tighter; protectively.

“He wanted to get Harry high so he’d agree to come back…I don’t think the two things are unrelated,” he added.

Louis began to press kisses into Harry’s hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, his voice a whisper, his hurt evident.

“Thought you’d think I was using again,” Harry admitted in a mumble.

He unfurled to look Louis in the face and Louis felt pained to look into his drug-influenced eyes but he was still his Harry, no matter what.

“Even if you were, I still love you,” he stated. “You can still come home to me…no matter what,” he promised.

Harry sighed. “Didn’t want you to see me like that again.”

Louis kissed his forehead. “It’s okay, I understand,” he relieved Harry of his guilt.

“And I wanted to protect you…” He added.

Zayn nodded.

“I have a feeling that Jack and this Richard guy are working in cohorts,” Zayn said. “Richard threatened to have you hurt if Harry didn’t sleep with him.”

Louis stared at him for long moments, not sure what to make of all this. He curled Harry back into his arms and Harry pitched into his lap with a tired sigh. Louis let his fingers trail through his hair, just soothingly.

“So what can we do?” Louis wondered.

To be honest, this whole thing was a little beyond him and his mainly simple lifestyle. Although he could definitely relate to any guy who wanted to get to Harry. After all, he’d done his damndest to do the same and luckily for him, Harry had felt the same.

Zayn sighed. “It’s hard to say, we don’t know how real his threat is. I know a few guys,” he said then.

Louis frowned.

“They could make him re-think his threat,” he clarified.

Harry curled into Louis’ lap another inch and Louis knew he didn’t even need to think about this, but actually, he wasn’t sure that would even work.

“Are we not just adding fuel to this by threatening him back?” He asked.

Zayn shrugged. “If you do nothing he could make his threat good.”

Louis nodded. There was no way he could put Harry in danger. If Richard didn’t have him beaten up, he might still try and get to Harry somehow and that thought was unbearable.

“Alright, so your guys go and have a little word with him and we just wait?” Louis asked.

Zayn nodded.

“I’ll pay you,” he added quickly.

Zayn smirked. “I’d appreciate that since I punched out my boss tonight, I don’t think I’ll get asked back to work,” he mused.

Louis sucked in a breath.

“You punched Jack?”

“For spiking Harry’s drink,” he confirmed.

Louis grinned, checking on Harry once more. He could barely see his face because of his blanket wrapped around him but he looked to be resting; half asleep, drowsy. He guessed the soothing patterns he was drawing on his scalp were helping in that respect.

He hated that Harry thought he’d shun him for using again; and even more so because it wasn’t his fault.

“Kit’s in the study if you want to say hello,” Louis offered then.

Zayn stood, sensing that Louis wanted a private moment with Harry now that all had been explained.

“Zayn,” he called gently before he exited the room. “Thank you.”

Zayn nodded and made his way out.

 

//

Harry twisted; sitting up as Zayn left the room. He hung his head as he sat sideways to Louis, one foot on the floor, one knee bent and overlapping Louis’ thigh.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Louis cupped his neck and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“It’s okay. None of this is your fault.”

“I tried to leave but they keep dragging me back,” he observed.

“I know,” Louis leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “I won’t let them.”

“I’ll never be able to forget, will I?” He mused sadly. “Always the boy who could be bought…”

Louis sighed and pulled him into a hug.

“Always the boy who stole my heart,” he corrected.

Harry pouted. “Dunno how.”

“Something about beautiful green eyes and a sexy singing voice,” he mused quietly.

“Yeah, right,” Harry twinkled, recovering from his melancholy. “You saw me in my thong first so you can’t pretend it was my eyes that got you.”

Louis allowed a wry smile to grace his lips.

“That’s not what I fell in love with,” he assured.

“No?” Harry rubbed his lips together.

Louis shook his head.

Harry puffed out a little bit of air.

“Then when did you?” Harry wondered.

Louis smirked. “After we had our first fight. And you asked for cake.”

“I asked for _you_ ,” Harry amended.

Louis smiled that brilliant smile; the one that turned just the tiniest bit girlish as he got embarrassed.

“Well, it was then,” Louis decided.

“I was way before you,” Harry said huskily. “Although I took ages to admit it.”

“When did you…?” Louis asked, stunned at his admission.

“When I had that nosebleed and you took care of me,” he answered.

“Oh,” Louis nodded, remembering that night. He’d had no idea it meant so much to Harry.

“Always just there,” Harry smiled a little under his sad lashes.

“Of course,” Louis kissed his forehead again.

Harry leaned forward to capture his mouth, drawing Louis into his blanket as he wrapped his arms about him; their lips meshing with familiarity and passion. Slow-burning, slightly waned, but still passion.

Harry pulled away, still groggy from last night. Louis cupped his cheek and rubbed his thumb there.

“It’ll be okay,” he assured.

Harry blinked, not quite believing his words. He had no idea how this thing with Richard was going to fold out and Zayn couldn’t be everywhere. He knew, even thinking it that Louis would have thought of that, too. And he would hire two extra minders for him and Kit before the evening was out.

He wondered why life had to be so complicated, why he couldn’t just be allowed to move on already. Fuck, hadn’t he put up with enough? He needed more?

“Why don’t you lie down for a bit, I’ll call you for dinner?” Louis suggested.

Harry shook his head; leaning into Louis’ shoulder, still wrapped in his blanket.

“Want to be with you,” he said.

Louis knew his amount of time away from work was beginning to outweigh his time there. But then he didn’t employ a team of staff for no reason, he employed them to manage things while he was gone.

“Alright, we’ll sit here for a bit, then?” Louis suggested and Harry nodded; curling back into his lap.

Louis let his fingers drift back through his hair.


	16. Chapter 16

** CHAPTER 16 **

 

Kit had gone off to college with her new shadow in tow- a guy called Niall that Zayn hadn’t been overly happy assigning to her, but he knew Niall was the best man for the job. He had eyes like an eagle and some kind of hero-complex that made him particularly good protecting women.

Still, he eyed the new guard suspiciously as Kit flirted with him. She came bounding over, sensing his jealousy.

“So, how come I don’t get you?” She asked.

Zayn swallowed. “Conflict of interests,” he said and she clearly didn’t know what that meant.

“But you could guard my body,” she breathed.

Zayn looked down on her, brown eyes trying to stay professional. He was in work-mode now, not the guy that took her nightclubbing and slept on his couch so she could have the bed.

“I’d be worried about getting distracted and missing something,” he admitted.

Kit batted her thick black lashes at him.

“When are we going out, then?”

He managed a smile. “Are you asking?”

She giggled, kissing his cheek, her hands going to his chest.

“Friday,” she set up a date. He nodded.

Louis came into the room and Zayn lowered his gaze.

Kit turned to see who’d entered.

“Hey, Lou!” She bounced over to greet him with a kiss and a hug.

“Hi,” Louis greeted, flicking a look to Zayn.

“Don’t get all big brother on me,” she pouted.

“I’m not.” He assured.

She tilted her head. Luckily Harry joined the busy parlour to ease the tension.

Kit hugged him and didn’t let go.

“Hey, doll,” Harry greeted bemusedly, kissing into her hair.

“Can I marry you?” She asked, dead serious.

Harry chuckled and pulled away. “Might be a slight issue with that…”

She pouted. “Well, marry Louis then because I want to be related.”

Harry made a bashful face, his cheeks tingeing pink. Louis only just caught it because Harry ducked his head back into Kit’s shoulder to hide it and Louis found it marvelously interesting that Harry should be embarrassed about the idea of marrying him.

“So, who have I got?” Harry asked of the remaining two security guys.

“This is Liam,” Harry introduced his other trusted man, a young guy with a nearly-full beard and hair like David Beckham.

Harry shook his hand, realizing Zayn had picked someone who wouldn’t look out of place hanging around with him. He even wore jeans with desert boots and a vest that showed off his arms, a snap-back hanging off his belt-loop and a plaid waist coat over his vest.

He managed a flirty smile, with dimples.

“Hiii,” he greeted warmly, feeling Louis watching him.

“ _You_ picked that guy?” Louis mumbled to Zayn.

“Yeah, he’s good at his job and he blends in,” Zayn argued.

“You couldn’t pick a less good-looking guy, for instance?” Louis pondered as Harry engaged in small talk with Liam, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck nervously like he fancied him or something. Louis’ eyes went glacial.

“Whoa,” Zayn stepped in front of Louis. “He’s just a bodyguard. Can’t have you going green-eyed on me…” he added.

Louis tipped to his head to the side to look past Zayn to check on Harry and Liam. Harry was darting looks his way, lower lip sucked into his mouth. Oh good. He remembered who was in charge, then.

“Fine,” Louis sighed. “And I get you I take it?”

Zayn nodded. “If this Richard guy has people onto you, I probably know them,” he reasoned.

“Right,” Louis nodded. “Let’s just get on with this day,” he sighed, heading for the door after Kit and Niall.

Harry’s hand caught around his wrist and tugged him gently to one side, while the security contingent headed into the hall. Harry cupped his jaw and kissed him for a long, intense moment and their lips didn’t want to part when they were reminded they had to go, now.

Harry dipped his head a little to press his forehead to Louis’.

“Be careful,” he told him.

“You, too,” he echoed.

Harry nodded and let him go with a fond swat of his behind, capturing his lower lip between his teeth as Louis looked back on him for that little swipe. Louis paused, as if about to turn back, but he shook his head and sighed, heading out into the hall.

 

//

Richard came back around mid-afternoon and he didn’t come into the shop right away because Harry had customers, but he sauntered in once the coast was clear.

“So, did you think about my offer?” He asked, no introductions.

Harry lifted a brow and tipped his head toward the door marked ‘Staff’.

“I’m not alone.” He warned.

Richard shrugged. “You want your colleagues to know about this?”

Harry blinked. _If only he knew_.

As if perfectly timed, Liam burst out of the staff door with a box, heading right for the rack by the guitars to fill up. Richard’s eyes flicked over him appreciatively.

“Don’t suppose he’s for sale?” He asked.

Harry gritted his teeth. “The only thing for sale here, are the instruments,” he bit out.

“You know what you’re choosing by turning me down?” Richard checked.

Harry smirked.

“Hell, yes,” he nodded.

“You think that Louis has what you need?” He asked then, his voice a low whisper.

“Yeah, I do,” Harry nodded confidently.

“I can give you more than a crappy three-song demo and a free stay in a nice house. I can take you all over the world; get you anything you want…”

Harry glanced over at Liam. It was best for now that Richard didn’t know who Liam was, that Liam heard his threats so they could use it at a later date. But even with his rather unorthodox introduction to life, he still didn’t like the way Richard was speaking to him. As though he were a commodity to be purchased. And yes, once he might have been, but not now, and anyway he’d never cared about the amount of money his owners had, just that they bought him and fucked him and let him go the next day.

He didn’t like to feel trapped. And this Richard guy was starting to make him feel very trapped. Especially since he seemed to know so much about Harry’s life- including his demo reel.

“You should leave,” Harry told him.

“I’m going to get you, Harry,” he licked his lips. “I don’t care how I do it…”

“It’ll have to be by force,” Harry called as he walked out. “Because I won’t come of my own free will!”

He felt his hands shaking as Richard walked away and he took gasps of breath to ease his nerves.

 _What kind of freak made threats like that?_ And in full daylight, too.

He looked back to Liam and Liam stood, coming over.

“He’s trouble,” Liam stated with a lip-press.

Harry gazed at him.

“And? Can you stop him?” He demanded.

Liam picked up his cell and spoke briefly with whoever was on the other end- Harry could only assume it was Zayn and that Liam was warning him.

“Liam…can he be stopped?” He asked again.

Liam gave him an assured nod. “We’ll fix this,” he said and it didn’t fill Harry with much comfort.

Because that’s not what he’d asked.

//

Louis held him extra-tight that night, after hearing about Richard’s visit.

When they made love it was slow, achingly tender and soul-consuming. Like their bodies couldn’t get close enough and their skin just had to be pressed up together on every available inch.

Harry took Louis into his body and wrapped his legs around him; his arms too once they’d both come. They lay like that awhile; Louis’ weight insignificance to Harry as he lay on his chest.

He kissed Louis’ beautiful hair, unable to reach skin.

“Lou,” he panted, wrapping him up in his limbs.

“Won’t let you go,” Louis promised huskily, brushing his beard into Harry’s skin, the way he loved.

Harry grasped him closer. “Let’s stay here,” he suggested. “We never have to move…”

Louis found the humour in that and blew out an amused breath.

“We might have to at some point,” he countered honestly.

“No,” Harry stroked his large hands down Louis’ neck, onto his back; reaching down to his backside which he cupped. “Here, right here…”

Louis wondered if he was off in one of his little worlds again, all fairy-headed on lust. He kissed-bit his jaw, sucking into the perfect white skin of his neck.

Harry groaned and rolled onto his belly.

“Again, Lou,” he panted; bending his knees to push his backside up.

Louis gasped softly, clutching his erection which had only just resurged. He’d hoped Harry wouldn’t have noticed his swift response to Harry’s enjoyment of his ass.

Louis kissed at his neck. “It’s too soon,” he husked; shadowing him to give him the feeling of being owned.

“Lou, need you,” Harry whined softly and Louis frowned.

How was he supposed to resist, exactly? When Harry made those noises and pushed his backside up that way. Harry had managed to resist Louis when he was sore, but Louis couldn’t resist Harry when he was whimpering with need this way.

And it was something about this whole crazy situation that was making Harry beg to be owned, beg to be fucked even, because he was being reminded of all the times he was paid for; bought to be fucked and he knew Louis wasn’t one of those guys, that when Louis fucked him, it was out of love, not gratuitous want.

Although right now Louis could argue his want for Harry was very gratuitous, he didn’t, he just gently eased two fingers inside of him, testing his pliancy. He was wet there from Louis’ come; plenty of give in his already-eased muscles. Harry cried out for him, loud and needy.

“Louis!”

Louis shh’d him, aware of their house guests although he couldn’t really care less if Harry screamed the house down when they made love; there was still something erotic about making Harry bite his moans into his lips; the way his body then struggled to contain those sounds and wriggled around to keep them inside.

“Fuck it, just yell it out,” Louis sighed, slipping his fingers out and replacing them with his body; a lot thicker; a lot heavier than his previous touch.

Harry made an ‘mmf’ sound and pitched forward; Louis half-staggering with him on his knees to keep them joined. Harry was writhing on the bed, only his hips propped up to keep Louis inside.

Louis quickly stuffed a pillow under Harry’s belly to ease his muscles holding him up; which were already quivering with how wrecked he was.

“Holy God,” Louis sighed; going deep, feeling tight with Harry’s horizontal position, He had to bear over him to make it right in; had to press Harry into the bed and he remembered the way Harry had done the same to him and how much he’d loved it.

It was so different being on the other side, though, having the power, the control. He could literally do anything to Harry right now and he’d bet he’d moan filthily at it; so sensitive and primed for his second release.

Louis sank into him; pumping every shred of concern and worry from his body into Harry’s, protecting him in the most basic sense by laying his body over his this way, even if it was to fuck him deep; which Harry was taking with ecstatic cries he noted.

He cupped the back of Harry’s neck, pressing slightly so Harry turned his face sideways, only able to peek at Louis from the side of his eyes, breathing heavy from his owning gesture.

“Lou, oh fuck,” he gasped, rutting against the bed and feeling his high galloping ever-closer with Louis’ little rough-play with him.

“Yes, take it!” Louis rasped, slow and deep with his thrusts even though his words were bordering on dominance but he could never truly push Harry to that limit because he loved him too much.

“Take it all for you,” Harry panted back, making Louis groan.

Oh fuck, did he really have to play into his hands this way; fulfill his fantasies?

Harry pushed his knees out; widening his thighs and in turn, his ass-cheeks. Louis slipped a little deeper and stilled; drawing out a long cry as his body jumped of it’s own accord, pumping seed right into Harry’s ass. He didn’t even need to move, to breathe, because his body was working of its own volition, emptying slowly, heavily with eased jerks as he came.

Harry groaned beneath him and writhed in a way which Louis knew meant he had come again, too. He really had no idea how they did it, kept coming for each other, but they had and it was all kinds of amazing.

Louis collapsed on Harry’s back; easing out, only too aware of the punishment Harry’s body had taken. He kissed his wide shoulders lovingly.

“You can ruin me for this,” Louis promised breathily.

Harry moaned, didn’t move.

“Am I heavy?” Louis wondered, about to ease away.

“No, stay there,” Harry whispered.

Louis froze, settling back down against his lovely back; his groin tucked nicely against Harry’s backside, his chest fitting the curve in his spine.

“You look so fucking sexy,” Louis awed of his rather submissive pose.

“Sexier when it’s you pushed in the bed,” Harry husked, teasingly.

Louis grinned. “Can’t argue with that…”

Harry made another noise of dissent and Louis knew neither of them could cope with a third round. He decided to curb his words.

“Let’s get some sleep,” Louis whispered, finally laying on the mattress; cuddling up to Harry’s side.

The best Harry could do to move was to roll slightly onto his hip on his other side; letting Louis crawl under his free arm.

He pressed his lips to Louis’ temple.

“Love you,” he said, to be sure Louis knew. Just in case.

“Love you too,” Louis returned softly, a giant grin on his face, the same one he showcased every time they said those words.

He felt Harry’s answering smile against his skin as he closed his eyes to sleep.

 

//

Zayn was giving them a debrief the next morning.

Harry watched Kit amusedly as she sat with her chin cupped in her hand, propped up by her elbow resting on the table and the look in her eyes told him she wasn’t hearing a word that came out of Zayn’s mouth, only acknowledged the fact that his lips were moving.

He pushed his foot under the table toward her; using his toes to gently nudge her ankle and she quickly snapped her gaze toward him, her chin coming off her hand.

Her blue eyes sparkled and she smiled sheepishly.

“After Liam’s call yesterday, my guys followed Richard home and had a quiet word,” Zayn shared as Harry’s gaze flicked from Kit over to Louis.

Louis gazed back at him, his face lined with worry.

“And how did that go?” Louis wondered, turning his attention back to Zayn.

Zayn shrugged. “Said he was suitably warned.”

“What does that mean?” Harry sighed, annoyed that Louis- and everybody he cared about in fact- was being affected by this creep.

Liam, who was sitting beside him, turned and smirked.

“It’s the most we can do for now.”

Harry blinked, not happy with that.

“But we need you guys with us still?” He checked.

Zayn nodded.

“Let’s get used to having protection for a couple of weeks until this has died down,” he suggested.

Harry twisted his lips, linking his fingers together to wring his hands as he lowered his head.

“I’m so sorry, guys,” he told the table. Because it was his fault that Kit and Zayn were being drawn into this. Not to mention the other guys.

The scrape of a chair signaled Louis’ movement and he came behind Harry to grasp his shoulders; kneading them tenderly.

“This isn’t your fault, Harry,” he assured gently.

“Yeah, exactly,” Kit added quickly. “It’s fun having a bodyguard,” she added with a wink to Niall.

Niall-ever the professional-lifted his chin in acknowledgement but flicked a look to Zayn, signaling his awareness that his pal wouldn’t tolerate any flirting.

Kit smirked at the exchange between the boys.

“Can we please ease up the testosterone in this room?” She begged with an eye roll.

Louis smirked at her.

“You need to get to college,” he said and she nodded and grabbed her bag, followed out dutifully by Niall, who for a security guy looked ridiculous dressed in loose jeans with overlapping trainers and a vest. Still, he looked perfect for a guy pretending to be at college.

“Liam, you go with Harry again today,” Zayn said and Liam nodded.

Louis flicked the well-built, handsome guy a look.

“Please keep him safe,” he begged in a whisper.

Harry turned from where Louis was rubbing his shoulders and he got up; turning full circle to pull Louis close. He kissed him, long and tender right there in the kitchen with an audience.

“You stay safe first,” Harry husked. “Before you go worrying about me, alright?”

Louis shook his head, not agreeing.

“Not alright,” he Eskimo-kissed him, taking another little kiss from Harry’s lips.

“Don’t wanna let go,’’ Harry mumbled; his arms around Louis’ shoulders as Louis’ banded around his waist.

Louis’ lovely blue-grey eyes flicked up, holding his green ones. His face crumpled a little.

“Hate to say you have to but it’s true,” Louis whispered, rubbing his back a little.

Harry leaned forward again and buried his nose in Louis’ neck. He couldn’t remember a time he’d ever felt this vulnerable- ever acted so girly. He was a grown man who practically lived the hard-knock life before coming here. And a few nights in Louis’ arms had turned him into an emotional sap.

He drew in a courageous breath and pulled back, kissing Louis’ mouth firmly, resolutely.

“Right, let’s go,” he said.

Louis cupped his cheek.

“I love you, okay? Whatever happens, remember that.”

Harry nodded. He wasn’t sure what Louis meant by ‘whatever happens’ but he didn’t like to linger on it. He was sure the explanation would make him mad and he didn’t want to be angry at Louis, he didn’t want to be angry at anything, except maybe the prick forcing this sense of foreboding upon them.

“See you tonight,” Harry managed, turning toward the doorway where Liam hovered expectantly.

Louis watched them walk down the hall together, Harry’s body a little hunched, his gait uneasy no doubt from his lovemaking the night before, but still; the sight of Harry being escorted to work pinched at his chest tightly. He sucked in air, barely able to breathe.

“He’ll be okay,” Zayn said softly, to break the quiet. “Liam’s the best I know. I wouldn’t have picked any less for him, you know that,” he added.

Louis nodded, flicking his eyes toward the young and dark-haired man. He managed a smirk.

“So I get second best?” He teased.

Zayn smiled back. “You bet,” he winked and they too set off for work.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gahhh thank you everybody for kudos and reviews!
> 
> And thank you to Marina for saving my life by sending me TMITS.
> 
> And thank you to Jess :)
> 
> Ang

** CHAPTER 17 **

Harry and Liam had made light work of Harry’s duties, managing to horse around a little during his shift. Harry didn’t doubt Liam’s professionalism for one second even in those relaxed moments and it was late afternoon that they came into the yard to crush the boxes left over from filling up stock all day.

Luckily for Harry his new boss was rather accepting of the whole bring a minder to work thing because Harry wasn’t sure he could have coped with having Liam stood outside all day, on guard. He’d have felt ten times worse than being able to chase him around the yard with bits of cardboard in a mock fight.

Liam carefully patrolled the area as Harry set the machine to work, the mechanics of which groaned loudly once set in motion. As if crushing cardboard was such an arduous task, Harry mused.

The wind bristled in the trees surrounding the yard and his hair tickled his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. He turned his head either side, almost nonchalantly checking about him. He couldn’t see Liam, but he guessed his minder was stealthily tracking the whole surrounding area knowing Liam’s level of expertise. He wouldn’t put it past him he mused with a smirk.

He swallowed, feeling momentarily alone. He hadn’t felt alone since moving in with Louis, but right now, in this still, empty yard with nothing but the loud noise of the machine and his quiet singing to keep him company, he felt suddenly afraid, too.

He hated feeling like this, too. Like he had to be so aware of everything, so on guard all the time. He liked being able to skip around Louis’ garden and fall giggling with Kit on the loungers after a swim. He liked being able to lean into Louis’ body for an instant cuddle, liked being able to kiss his mouth and draw him close so they fitted together. He liked the way they fitted together, too, liked their bodies were made for each other, Louis’ so hard and slight and sexy. He liked Louis’ body a lot, he realized with a grin that bordered on filthy.

He turned, hands on hips casually, one knee bent as his ankles crossed. He surveyed the yard. Still no Liam. He frowned, shifting slightly to lean his body to and fro, tiptoeing to look beyond the gates. No sign.

He frowned, feeling uneasy. What if something had happened? What if Liam was hurt, or worse? He’d never forgive himself. He moved slowly, hands still on hips as he left behind the noisy machine to widen his search.

“Liam?” he called, although his voice didn’t really carry over the clanking of the machinery.

Harry’s heart began to palpitate. Sweat formed on his forehead and his upper lip, which he swiped away quickly. He began to follow Liam’s trail around the yard; not venturing beyond the gates which although lay unlocked, he couldn’t see any vehicles there to make him believe he’d been intercepted.

“Liam?” He yelled again, turning back toward the back door of the shop, wondering if he should check inside.

He probably should in case Liam had done a full lap and had gotten distracted, but deep down he knew his bodyguard would never leave his side for this long unless something was really, really wrong. He began to feel panicked, worried tears filling his eyes which he tried to blink back.

Now was not the time to be getting emotional, he reminded himself. Everything was going to be okay. Louis kept telling him so and he had to believe it because the alternative wasn’t worth thinking about.

It was while he was turned toward the back of the shop, hands on hips and frowning hard that he sensed a movement behind him. He swirled, opening his mouth in a relieved sigh.

“Li-” He began, pausing as Richard leaned against the unlocked gate.

“Wrong,” Richard smirked.

Harry’s eyes hardened.

“Where is he? What have you done to him?” He demanded.

Richard lifted his brows.

“Who, sorry?” He asked, deliberately obtuse.

“I swear to god, if you’ve hurt him…” Harry warned.

Richard rolled his eyes, advancing. Harry stepped back, flicking his eyes side to side as if expecting an army of ninjas to appear from nowhere.

“Relax, princess, he’s fine,” Richard offered then.

“Then where is he?” Harry asked again, not dropping the subject until he was satisfied.

“He may or may not be gagged and handcuffed to one of those trees,” Richard tilted his jaw toward the small wooded area just beyond the yard.

Harry squinted his eyes. “He best not be hurt,” he said again.

Richard- who was in a suit minus his jacket and with his shirt-sleeve rolled up- lifted his forearms. They were bruised and bloodied.

“I think I got the rough end of the deal,” he assured.

Harry’s eyes widened, wondering how much damage he’d done to Liam in the scuffle he could imagine occurred and since he knew how skilled Liam was, he also by deduction knew that Richard was more of a force to be reckoned with than first thought. If he’d managed to bind Liam single-handedly, he had to be doing pretty damn well.

“I’m not coming with you,” Harry said, just to remind Richard of his stance on his threat.

“No?” Richard arched a brow. “Not even if I told you that Zayn is also being held prisoner right now, along with your beloved Lewis?”

Harry’s face fell. His heart beat hard out of his chest and his skin paled as if the blood were draining from him.

“What have you done?” He whispered.

“Nothing,” Richard shrugged. “A little duck tape and handcuffs never hurt anyone.”

Harry blinked. He _might_ be able to breathe again if that was all he’d done.

“Where are they?” He asked.

Richard smirked. “Back of a van parked in those woods,” he gestured to the trees again. “Ironic really, all one place…”

Harry frowned even harder, not giving away the fact he was thinking about Kit. It seemed this man didn’t yet know about Louis’ sister and her own body guard. Thank god.

“So now you try and reason with me?” Harry guessed, trying to stay calm. It was probably the hardest thing he’d done in his life and he’d done some pretty tough things.

“One hour,” Richard posed. “You let me take you away and fuck you for one hour and we come back and your friends are all released, unharmed…”

“Fuck me for an hour?” Harry snorted. “Fuck that…”

“Then your friends go up in flames with that little hideaway,” Richard threatened, shaking his head. “Arson is a terrible crime.”

Harry’s eyes glowed with something dark and dangerous. If Richard had known him better, he might have recognized that look. It was a look that Harry had only bared once or twice before in his life- mostly when he was really mad. So mad he wanted to fuck the life out of something, usually.

“How about I fuck _you_ for the hour instead?” He posed, venom dripping from his words.

He would look horny, hot and needy and ready for sex of the most basic kind. But he had an alternative plan and it didn’t include putting his dick anywhere near this creep. Although it might include ripping Richard’s dick right off as part of his revenge.

Richard, however, was buying his lies. He licked his lips, practically salivating.

“Yeah?” he asked, as if doubting Harry his topping ability.

“I fuck Louis real good,” he assured darkly. “He fucking loves it hard and deep…”

Richard swallowed as he imagined that scenario and Harry wondered how a guy who wanted him to be sub could get so hard thinking about him pounding him, but still, it didn’t really matter because the more turned on Richard was, the less he’d be able to do when Harry injured him…

“Alright, whatever,” Richard agreed quickly, breathlessly, sticking out his hand for Harry to take.

Harry gave him a tight, grimaced smile as he wrapped his fingers around Richards hand; an action he felt betrayed Louis even in its brevity. He didn’t want to be holding anybody else’s hand-ever. He’d only ever held Louis’ hand in fact and it was going to stay that way. He made sure he squeezed Richard’s fingers painfully tight as he wrenched him close; banding tight arms around him to keep him from trying anything.

“As if I’d fuck you, you fucking creep,” Harry hissed in his ear; reaching between their bodies to grip his hard-on; twisting it roughly away from his body and downwards, hard, so that he felt a tiny ‘snap’ and he knew he’d exacted the damage necessary to keep him immobile.

Richard collapsed, breathless with pain, too pained to even cry out and Harry quickly reached into his back jeans pocket to dial for the cops; grabbing a rag from the bins to tie around Richard’s ankles and wrists; spitting into his face as he lay crying in agony.

“You can apologise to Louis later,” he growled. “Thinking I’d go with you over him…”

When the cops got there; dark clouds were hanging heavy over the yard and Harry’s boss had locked up the shop and come outside to oversee the drama. Harry took that opportunity to run for the woods, not really knowing what he was looking for.

He heard police dogs barking in the distance, knew a search party was following him on foot but he didn’t care about anyone else right now, he just cared about getting to his friends. Of course, the police had tried to warn him off coming down here in case what they found was grisly, but his heart beat heavily in the knowledge that Louis was going to be okay. He just had to be. There was no way he could do this without him- this living thing.

He sucked in a breath as he spotted Liam’s red plaid shirt in amongst the trees and he quickened toward him, pulling out his mouth gag.

“Harry! I’m so sorry!” He gasped, pulling on his bound hands.

“It's okay,” Harry cupped his face, checking him over for bruises. If he had any, he wanted to count them up so he could kick them out of Richard’s hide a later date. “The cops are coming with bolt cutters,” he added breathlessly.

“Are you okay?” Liam asked.

Harry nodded. “Have you seen Louis or Zayn out here?”

Liam’s eyes widened. “No…what’s he done? Harry, what’s that fucked up bastard done?” He wrestled some more with the tree and Harry grasped his arms to hold him still.

“Easy, tiger,” he soothed hoarsely. “I’m going to look for them, just wait for the cops, okay?” he instructed.

He set off again and he heard Liam shouting behind him but he didn’t pay any heed to it. Fat raindrops began hitting his cheeks and he looked up to see the dark clouds were spilling; a heavy heat lying upon the woodland with ominous quality.

“Great,” Harry sighed, pushing through the branches and slipping on the now-wet ground, his forearms becoming scratched with the rough undergrowth and he wished right now he didn’t wear these stupid boots because they were hopeless on this soft earth…

He felt more than saw the object hiding in the thick bushes.

The van had been pushed off a track; into the leafy cover and he darted over there; running a desperate hand through his hair as he realized the doors were bolted.

“Fuck!” he hissed, letting out a frustrated roar. Now he had to wait until the police caught him up. He paced in a circle, wondering if Louis and Zayn could hear him.

“Zayn? Louis?” He called.

He heard muffled cries and knew they had too been gagged and bound.

“I’m here, alright? I’m getting you out,” he added. “Just need some bolt-cutters…”

As if by magic, his words delivered a very serious-looking SWAT member who brandished foot-long cutters that quickly bit through the bolt and released the van doors.

Harry darted forward but there were more bodies surrounding the vehicle now and he couldn’t get through them all.

“Louis…” he whispered, hugging himself as the rain pattered down, heavy and slow, but soaking through his clothes completely. “Louis, Louis…” he panted, as if chanting his name would make everything okay.

Zayn was helped down first; checked over by paramedics who had also made it to the scene but when Louis stumbled to the edge of the van; Harry felt his legs buckle. He didn’t let them give in, though; he just pushed through all the bodies, reaching for his true love, not caring who he pushed out of his way in his need to get there.

He just had to hold him, had to feel him, had to check he was breathing that blood was still pounding around his veins and that not one inch of him was damaged because if it was, he could still make it to the police department to strangle the life out of Richard's lungs…

“Hey…hey,” Louis was breathless with relieved laughter, not able to hug Harry back but someone kindly snapped his handcuffs free so he could grasp the tall man in his arms as close as he apparently wanted to get.

Harry didn’t bother to apologise to the people he’d knocked out of the way to get here, to this moment. He also didn’t let go when the paramedic tried to insistently remove him from Louis’ body to check Louis over.

“I’m okay,” Louis waved them away, his wrists still bearing the metal cuffs where they’d need to be picked off yet. He smiled bemusedly at the police staff that waited about, a little awkward at this display.

“Harry…” Louis stroked his hair gently; also wet-through now from the rain.

“No,” Harry whined; tightening his hold, burying his face in Louis’ neck.

“Alright…shh…it’s okay,” Louis soothed, lifting his brows to the two police men that stood still waiting while the rest of the team moved back through the woods.

Zayn let himself be taken with the group, seeing Harry and Louis were in no mood to be consoled right now. He smiled softly at the pair of them.

“Sorry,” Louis apologized to the officer in his line of vision over Harry’s shoulder. “You best head back without us, we’ll follow in a minute,” he suggested.

The two officers glanced at each other.

“We’ll be fine,” Louis assured, hoping they’d take his word for it. Really, the way Harry was crushing the breath out of his lungs he wasn’t sure he’d survive yet, but still…

Harry made another noise in his throat as if sensing the need to move but Louis just rubbed his back gently; lifting his eyes to the rainfall; his lashes clumping with the droplets as he grinned to the skies.

“Thank you,” he breathed, knowing somebody had saved him today, he just didn’t know who.

Harry pulled back and began kissing him, all sloppy, hard kisses made all the more messy by the rain. They were both soaked through, sticking together as their clothes saturated; clinging to their bodies and outlining their muscular shapes.

Louis began kissing Harry back; cupping the back of his head, angling his face to deepen the kiss and Harry reached down to clutch his ass; groaning loudly in the clearing as he owned that flesh. It was all Louis could do to stay standing at that very vocal expression of attraction, let alone the need that filled his own veins and made him tremble in the wake of it.

He simply couldn’t get enough of Harry’s mouth; lips biting together, pressing and owning all in one go, all in untidy, passionate kisses. He wanted to nibble on his lower lip, suck that softness until Harry cried out but this was not a moment for teasing, for tenderness.

It was by rights, a moment to strip down and fuck like animals, since they were in the wilderness and wet through anyway, he really didn’t see the harm in it other than being caught by a team of police and paramedics who were eagerly awaiting their exit from this wooded place.

“Harry,” he pulled away, gasping, hard and needing release. Before long, he’d come in his pants and that idea wasn’t pleasurable since his jeans were already sticking to his thighs in a way he was beginning to wish they weren’t. Even if Harry’s hands were scoping that flesh; soothing over his wet, wet backside and onto his thighs, he still shuddered at the uncomfortable cling of soaked denim to his well-formed parts.

“Harry, please,” he begged on a whisper as Harry had taken his break in their kiss to find more flesh, attacking his neck; pulling the neckline of his tee top down to kiss at his collarbones. If Harry didn’t stop this insane mauling of him, he wasn’t sure he’d bother to care much about being found fucking his boyfriend in a public place. “Not here,” he gasped through the downpour.

Harry paused at those words. He understood them; he knew what Louis meant when he said them. He made a little noise of dissent in his throat and drew him tight into his arms; kissing into his neck.

“Lou,” he said, and it was all that he needed to say really because the way his breath expelled hot and heavy against Louis’ neck and the way he held him so tightly, he knew exactly what Harry was expressing.

“I know,” Louis rubbed his hard-on against Harry’s, their matching heavy heat deliciously colliding; under wet, sodden denim and skin-tight clothes. “I know,” he echoed, kissing Harry’s temple two, three times.

"I knew I shouldn't have let go this morning," Harry husked, pulling back only slightly.  Louis cupped his cheek and ran his thumb across it gently.  "Next time, I'll listen, " he promised. Harry swallowed. 

"Are you okay, Lou? Did he hurt you? " Louis shook his head.

"I'm fine...are you?" He checked with such a sweet little frown of caring concern that Harry half laughed, half sobbed at it.

The tears won out and his bravado from before was all but a distant memory. He managed to nod. 

"Doesn't matter," Harry hugged Louis close again. "Just you matter."

"No," Louis denied, holding him for the extended moments Harry needed.

"You matter. To me. I love you," he added just to be sure Harry knew.

"Love you too," Harry swallowed down his tears to strangle the words out.

A soft throat clearing came from behind Harry. He turned expecting to see a cop. Liam grinned, folding his arms.

“I told them I'd better go in since it wasn't going to be pretty," he teased. 

Harry turned and walked over, hugging his guard tightly. "I'm glad you're okay,” he sighed as he pulled away.

Louis came up to shake Liam’s hand, something that made Liam startle.

"I didn't keep him safe," Liam frowned.

"You did your best," Louis allowed softly, winding his fingers through Harry’s.

They began walking back to the yard where Zayn quickly hastened toward them to apologise. Louis and Harry shook off their apologies just glad that the ordeal was over. It was still raining cats and dogs and Louis was conscious of his hair getting plastered to his head because he was sure he looked awful.

 

Liam took pity on him and offered him his cap, pulling the peak down to protect Louis' eyes from the rain. His lashes were so thick they'd caught alot of the droplets and were clumped together and when Harry looked at him he didn't think he'd seen anything more beautiful. 

 

He leaned down and kissed him, all wet and cold but it didn't matter. Louis melted at that, his eyes crinkling and Harry wished he could kiss him forever just to get to see that smile.

 

"Home?” Louis asked as Zayn and Liam drifted away.

 

Harry shook his head. Louis frowned.

 

"We're not going anywhere until a medic has checked you over," he stated then, huskily.

 

Louis pursed his lips but refrained from arguing. He'd quite like Harry to be checked over too.

 

"Come on then," he tugged him toward the ambulance waiting nearby

 

 

/

 

Harry knew men’s bodies. So well that he could press two fingers into their butthole and have them spasming instantly. So well he could fellatio without any need to touch.

But Louis was different to that.

He didn’t want the instant gratification, the fast rise to the end.

Harry knew Louis’ body so well now, too.

He knew Louis’ body so well that he knew exactly the right amount of pressure to apply to his knee when he gently rubbed it into his groin, against his hardness or the exact amount of flick to put into his hips as he fucked him.

And he was fucking him.

It had been a bit of an experiment, peeling wet clothing off even wetter bodies and they had circled around the hallway in a pirouette as they tried to peel off those layers, hot hard kisses layered between their baring of each other.

Louis had somehow steered them into the study where they had stumbled; hands grasping for skin, mouths fighting for dominance but Louis knew it was his turn to take Harry and he couldn’t help his little whine of satisfaction at that.

He still remembered the first time he’d been filled tight with Harry’s body and he couldn’t wait for a repeat and frankly, after today, he needed reassurance. Reassurance that he was alive and well enough to be fucked.

They were naked as their bodies entwined, pressing closer out of need, out of want. Harry curled his hands into Louis’ delicate spine, his fingertips grazing there to make him shiver- from the electricity zipping across his skin but still, Harry paused, his blown-out eyes gazing into Louis.’

“Cold?” Harry husked, his voice ruined.

Louis shook his head, leaning forward to kiss at Harry’s chest, brushing his lips lower over his torso. Harry groaned.

His long, hard body was pressed up against Louis’ and he leaned Louis backwards slightly, making Louis dart his hands out behind him fearfully. He let out a relieved breath as he came into contact with his desk.

“Let go,” Harry blinked, slow, a sexy smile on his lips.

Louis hesitantly lifted his hands to Harry’s shoulders and found Harry’s strong arms holding him in place.

“See, I wouldn’t drop you,” he mused.

Louis lifted his eyes back to meet those smoky green ones. He clung for dear life to Harry’s shoulders, his smaller body framed by Harry’s lovely large one.

“It’s been a weird day,” he excused his mistrust.

Harry began to kiss him again and Louis let his hands tangle into his too-long hair; whining slightly as he perched his butt against the desk; widening his thighs to let Harry lean between them. He reached across, fisted his hand around Harry’s impressive manhood; remembering every hard inch of him with his delicate fingers and Harry repaid the favour in return, taking Louis and stroking him, too.

Louis clutched him close as he leaned forward; gently biting at his neck.

“I need you, Lou,” he murmured, always so husky in his declarations Louis noted.

“I need you too,” Louis assured; rubbing his cheek into Harry’s hair, his stubble bristling Harry’s skin deliciously.

Harry shivered; pulling back slightly. He took Louis’ slim waist in his large hands and met his gaze with a dark, wanton one and Louis knew he wanted him to turn even before his hands gently helped him and Louis quickly gave into it; needing to define their love here and now, to prove to Richard that he hadn’t won.

Louis lay front-down on the desk, using his forearms to take most of his weight and he expected Harry to spread his thighs, to widen him up but his legs braced outside of Louis’ and Louis couldn’t help ducking his head into his arm as he curled his toes inwards, just enough to give Harry room.

He clearly wanted to own him, Louis recognized quickly, all out man-fuck him by the look of it. He was glad now that he kept a bottle of lube in the top drawer of his desk because he reached over and pulled it out; spread-eagled across his desk. He passed it to Harry and felt him shift, imagining him squeezing the lube out onto his fingers.

He hissed as two fingers broached him, tight inside where he gripped at them.

“Jesus, Lou,” Harry sighed out; taking as much time as he could manage and Louis’ noises didn’t help him in easing this entry, in waiting because he sounded like he wanted it, wanted it so bad and wanted it now. It was all Harry could do not to fuck into him with his fingers still inside.

He exercised the most constraint he’d probably ever managed before, stroking up and down Louis’ hard dick as he leaned toward him, his dick settling between his ass cheeks.

“Yes, Harry!” Louis panted; bent over; so prone and trusting.

Harry could have ruined a guy like this. A beautiful, submissive, trusting little near-virgin like Louis. Yes, he could have pounded him until he was part of the desk. But not his Louis. Oh no. His Louis deserved much, much more…He circled his finger and thumb, tightening them around Louis’ base, making him gasp softly as he gripped the desk top, trying to find semblance in this moment of madness.

And then he eased into him; an inch at a time, pausing before he was all the way in like he had tried to do that first night.

Louis thumped the table with a closed fist; his toes winding inwards until his knees were almost touching; his butt pushed up and out to take him.

“Harry….fu-”

Louis couldn’t even pronounce ‘c’ sounds, his body was so full and he hadn’t even taken all of Harry yet. But he wanted to, wanted to be reminded that he was Harry’s now, that no creep, no other man would ever do this to him, would ever do this to Harry either. He needed to be told, with the firm thrust of Harry’s body, with the deep fill in his that this was what mattered. All that mattered. Nothing else.

“Deeper,” Louis breathed.

Harry groaned and eased out; flicking his hips in that way he knew Louis loved; the way that drove him so deep inside of Louis that he felt they were one person, almost. Like his body was part of Louis’, an extension, not able to disconnect.

Louis was so full of him that he screwed his eyes shut and tears escaped the edges. That was how full Louis was. Full of him. He wanted Louis to be full of him forever. Never to take another this way, to never let another take him this way.

He thrust again, carnal and needy in his masculine pose; dominating Louis over the desk.

After a few thrusts, Louis was practically a whimpering mess; laying nearly-ruined front down and implicitly trusting Harry to finish this- finish him.

Louis’ arousal was straining to touch his belly but the desk got in the way and instead he ramped up against it with Harry’s every thrust. Harry gently took his hard length in his free hand, pushing down on Louis’ shoulder with his other, keeping him hard to the table as he powered into him; not fast, not frantic, but the deep, erotic fucking he was giving Louis was working all kinds of magic because they both couldn’t see straight and Louis knew his legs would have given out on him if he wasn’t bent over the desk this way.

He pushed back, just to see what happened. Harry grunted, fucked a little harder, apologized with a soft groan and a rub on Louis’ behind. Louis did it again, and Harry repeated his tender touch. His hand went up his back; climbing his fingertips up his bony spine as if to remind him he was keeping him pushed into the desk, as if Louis wasn’t splayed there with no ability to stand by himself.

It didn’t matter in the end, though. Harry kept his tight, deep thrusts steady as Louis pushed back and fucked his hand in needy urgency. His cries became softer; silent as his mouth opened and he took Harry as deep as he could go as he gasped in short shafts of air and Harry shunted them from his body in panted expels.

Louis twisted his forehead onto his arm; lifting onto his toes as his climax came, long and slow and beautiful. He was loud in his pleasure after having been too full to cry out for so long but even though his vocal chords were working, Harry was still buried deep in him; jets of come easing inside him as Harry hit his high in unison.

It still amazed Louis that they did that- came together, so hard, so epic, every time.

He shivered as Harry gently drew him out, in that way he did. He sagged into the table and melted on the hard surface with a sigh.

Harry didn’t seem happy about him spending another moment there, though, which was surprising since he’d apparently enjoyed tremendously keeping him there for the last however long. But he eased gently from Louis’ body and turned him with those gentle large hands of his; scooping him up, bridal style.

Louis could only blink tiredly and weakly secure his arms about Harry’s neck; nuzzling into his throat. _Oh, this was no good_ , his conscience poked at him. _Being carried_. Like he was a princess or something. If he wasn’t so exhausted, so wrung out from today’s events- or so smitten- he would've gotten down, definitely.

As it was, he clung to Harry as he padded through the house, up the stairs and towards Louis’ room. Harry laid him there and went to move away. Louis clung to his neck.

“Don’t go,” Louis begged.

Harry smiled, just slow, lazy, but with dimples.

“I was going to get in the other side,” he mused huskily.

“Don’t,” Louis begged. He needed Harry’s hug more than he knew right now.

Getting fucked into his desk was probably the most amazing thing that had happened to him in a while-including their previous bouts of love-making. But every time they made love, something happened. Harry left or Richard came to cause trouble. Louis didn’t want to let Harry go just yet. Not until his mind had eased.

Harry had awkwardly slipped onto the bed beside him and since Louis didn’t shift to make any room, they lay that way, tight together and entwined. Harry was pressing his lips to Louis’ temple; his fingertips skittishly dancing down his spine that way they had when they’d been kissing.

Louis shivered; his arms folded around Harry’s neck still. Harry let a lazy appreciating hand wander down Louis’ side; over his ass, taking his thigh and gently lifting his knee up so Louis was wrapped around him.

Louis made a little whimpering noise and tucked his heel in behind Harry’s knee. Harry guessed he might be a little sore, a little sensitive. He felt Louis settle, kissed his hair lovingly.

“What you do to me, Louis,” he sighed, wrapping strong arms around his waist and even though he was sure his arm dug into Louis’ side, he knew Louis liked being held this way.

He felt Louis press lips into his neck where he was hiding.

“Don’t leave,” Louis sighed again and Harry wondered if he was dreaming, or having a moment because of their scare before.

“I won’t,” he promised again, easily.

“Ever,” Louis said back and Harry knew he was still awake. Barely making sense, but awake.

Harry chuckled, only soft and light.

“I mean it,” Louis murmured into his neck. “Want forever with you.”

Harry blinked, sucked in a breath slowly and held it. _He what?_

He frowned, turning his lips into Louis’ hair, letting the still-drying strands brush his skin.

“You do?” He whispered, awed.

He felt Louis nod.

“Sorry,” he said then and Harry likened his apology to the time he’d said ‘I love you’, like he should be sorry for how he felt, like expressing his feelings would scare Harry off.

Harry swallowed guiltily. He had a reason to feel that way.

“Don’t be sorry,” he begged huskily, drawing him close where Louis sighed softly in contentment. “I want forever with you, too,” he decided, knowing how he felt it in his heart; he just didn’t always have the right words. And Louis did. So he copied them.

Louis smiled and Harry felt it against his skin.

He curled Louis close and kept his promise.   He didn’t leave.

 

//

Harry had never got to enjoy the hot-tub the night Louis intended.

When he and Louis woke from their arduous day of stress followed by affirming sex, they crept through the house hand in hand, using their free hands to cover the essentials as they sneaked like teenagers into the garden and made a dash for the relaxing hot tub.

It was primed, heated and ready for use- Louis arranged it with his staff early on- and there were towels laid there ready for when they came out.

Harry sprawled in the delightful water; smiling as Louis stepped in after him, completely naked and just as stunning as always. Even if his hair was a little messy- okay, a lot messy- and his laughter lines were pronounced from lack of sleep. Even with long scruff on his face and uncharacteristic sag to his shoulders.

Louis went to sit beside Harry, but Harry caught his wrist.

“No, sit here,” he murmured and Louis settled between his thighs, a little coquettishly at first.

Harry propped his elbows at the side of the pool.

“Lou, relax,” he urged.

Louis leaned back, looking over his shoulder to check almost that his slight weight wasn’t infringing Harry’s relaxed pose and Harry waited patiently for Louis to infringe him, more than happy to have his toned, sexy body laid upon his this way.

For once, it was nice not to fuck. He’d had a big past of fucking and no experience of relaxing this way, with the one you loved, just content to be touching. It was all part of a new life for Harry, one he was beginning to enjoy way too much.

He reached out to drag tender fingers through Louis’ wrecked hair.

“Think you got some come in there,” he mused softly, trying to pick it out.

Louis smiled and let his body go languid, suddenly at ease now. Harry wondered why it took him to make a crude joke for his boyfriend to let go. He cupped Louis’ arm, slipped his other around his ribs, spreading his fingers against Louis’ belly. He didn’t move though, still spread-eagled, at ease.

“What do you think will happen?” Louis asked then, his voice husky and high.

“To Dick?” Harry checked of Richard’s kidnapping.

Louis nodded.

“I should think he’ll get charged with kidnapping us all,” he hoped.

“I hope that’s the end of it,” Louis remarked.

Harry frowned, lifting the hand that was on his arm toward his jaw; the side away from him so that he brought Louis’ gaze right around.

“What did he do to you and Zayn?” He wondered.

Louis shifted onto his side a little; moving across Harry's body to see him better. He propped the under side of his arm against the arm Harry had around his waist.

“I left work early to come and pick you up,” Louis shared. “About half a mile from the yard there was a road block. Zayn got out and Richard got to him first…”

Harry pressed a kiss into Louis’ now-damp hair.

“I’m so sorry…”

Louis smirked. “The guy must have had it bad for you,” he countered, lifting Harry’s guilt.

Harry blinked; let a smile curve the tips of his mouth.

“Who doesn’t?”

“Nobody I know,” Louis shrugged in agreement.

Harry sat up a little; coaxing Louis into straddling him. Louis gladly complied, kissing him for long moments in the morning sun.

“What do I bring into your life, Louis Tomlinson?” Harry pulled back, tucking back Louis’ fringe with gentle fingers.

Louis ran his hands down Harry’s chest; onto his stomach. He felt the muscles tighten there but could see Harry was fighting his desire to keep his silent promise for them to relax right now, no pressure to do more.

“You _are_ life, Harry,” Louis commented with shyness that Harry found beguiling. “I _feel_ something with you…life means something with you.”

Harry blinked, lifting one hand from Louis’ hip where he had cupped them, up toward his mouth. He traced over his lips with a tender fingertip and then bravely pushed his digit inside where Louis quickly sucked at him.

He groaned, feeling his body react, not wanting this morning to be about that. He’d wanted it to be calm and sweet and tender and everything the day before hadn’t been.

He brought his hand away and tucked both of them under his butt cheeks, unable to do much about his erection that had forged between him and Louis and now made a bid for freedom from the water.

Louis flicked him a look.

 _Shall I?_ He seemed to ask.

Harry wanted to say yes more than anything but he shook his head with a grumbling little whine and folded Louis into his body instead; their legs tangling. He was sure Louis wasn’t all that comfortable because neither was he but he wasn’t made of stone and he really didn’t want to take this anywhere right now.

Louis began kissing at his neck; sweet little kisses that weakened his resolve and made him mewl like a kitten. He should be embarrassed of the sound, but he really wasn’t. He couldn’t give much of a fig to care.

“Harry,” Louis murmured, calling him. He knew he had to answer. He tried to keep his eyes shut and ignore the demand but it was impossible.

His hands drifted back to Louis’ hips and he turned, taking Louis with him to spoon him; letting his hands stoke down his torso slowly; as if playing an instrument; finding the right chords and deftly working them to create the best sounds. And the best sounds came from Louis’ mouth, they really did. All desperate and panted, high and needy. Harry could record his sounds and listen to them forever.

Forever. They’d agreed on that last night and Harry wanted to make it official in some way, to get Louis jewelry or something to brand him; because he wasn’t sure he liked the idea of other guys seeing his little Lou looking sexy about town and not knowing he belonged to him. He wanted everyone to know it. He lay back; letting Louis return to his original position, back against his front as they lay front upwards where the sun warmed their skin through the shallow water.

He took his time, leisurely enjoying Louis’ body, pinching his nipples, grasping his strong erection, palming his thighs. Louis was pushing back on him in a way that would lend him to believe he wanted more. He slipped one hand between their bodies, searching out his hole. He found it with an inquisitive fingertip, feeling how Louis was still relaxed from last night, ready to be fucked out again.

The thought had him thrusting upwards; his dick rubbing between Louis’ thighs where they lay in a tangled mess.

“Behind you,” Louis panted and Harry frowned, seeing a bucket filled with ice, orange juice nestled in it.

“You got us OJ?” Harry mused.

Louis groaned and writhed as Harry deliberately dug his finger a little deeper. The lubrication of the water wasn’t enough, though.

“Lube!” Louis all but gasped.

Harry frowned and felt around in the bucket, finding the small bottle. Waterproof. How ingenious. He slicked his fingers with it and quickly sank them back into Louis’ this time crooking them a little to make him wail. Wail he did, loud and carnal. Harry almost felt bad for bringing him so much pleasure. Almost.

“I promised,” Harry husked; slowing his fingers, about to bring Louis down to a nice buzzy warmth where he could fist him off and stay in this languid bubble a little longer.

Louis had other ideas and pushed back; to keep Harry’s digits inside him.

“Break your promise,” he begged.

Harry knew he wasn’t going to be able to last what with the way Louis just went so wanton under his touch like this. It had been the same from the start and he doubted it would ever change- he knew he was the same in Louis’ capable hands, but this…this moment meant so much.

Maybe because they’d almost-died yesterday, maybe because it had forced them to admit they wanted forever, maybe because they said I Love You, because they still could and maybe because the threat of another guy consolidated how much they only wanted each other…

The details didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered. Nothing mattered more to Harry than Louis when he eased into him; his position underneath him making their fit tight and a little bit awkward. Louis sucked in air; tucking his feet either side of Harry’s shins, reaching back to cup Harry’s neck and arching his body beautifully for Harry’s hands. It also pushed his backside into Harry’s hips and Harry groaned as he sank deeper within the tightness of Louis’ ass.

The water made it nearly impossible to grip, to find steady ground to grasp onto so Harry could only curl his gentle fingers around Louis’ hips and pulse his hips to rock into him; the water lapping at the edges of the little pool with his movement.

Louis was immobile save for pumping his hips backwards, meeting Harry’s gentle and nearly non existent thrusts, but holy fuck it was intense this way, so, so deep and so, so intense. He wondered how this kept happening, this mindless foray into desire, and their passion all-consuming.

“Oh, fuck, Lou!” Harry gasped out, feeling his high hurtling toward an end already. It was too soon, but fuck if Louis wasn’t so, so tight this way. And begging for it.

He was muttering Harry’s name and panting at him to _fuck him_ , and Harry didn’t even mind his crude words because they loved each other so it didn’t matter, it really didn’t matter, all he knew was that hearing Louis _demand_ him that way had him coming undone way sooner than he’d have liked.

Louis fitted upon him, his erection untouched as he came; completely wide open in Harry’s arms and Harry followed thereafter, short spurts sinking into Louis’ body.

Harry quickly stroked his orgasm out of his fading arousal; leaving Louis a sated wreck in his arms.

“Only you, Lou,” he growled in his ear. “Only you do this to me…”

He eased gently from Louis’ already worn body; wrapping his arms around him. Louis groaned and curled up, letting Harry’s hands soothe him; smooth him out until he was a boneless, an exhausted splay of limbs.

“I like this hot tub,” Louis decided when he could catch his breath.

His comment made Harry chuckle.

“I have to agree with you,” he smirked.

Louis eased into a sitting position, resting his chin on his shoulder as he looked over at Harry.

“I don’t want to lay in this water anymore,” he said.

Harry nodded and they wrapped themselves in the towels; making a slow walk back to the house, fingers twined and grasping needy together

Louis made a point of being the one to spoon when they got back into bed. As much as Harry enjoyed holding his little Lou and owning his ass the way he had last night and this morning, he also found it incredible to be held by him, too. They took it in turns, really, one needing the other more, one wanting to be held or to be the holder and it sort of worked out nicely.

Louis however, didn’t have Harry’s long limbs to boast of and so his hugs were always smaller, tighter and dare Harry say it-cuter. Even when Louis held him fiercely, protectively, he still struggled to get his arms right around him. But Harry loved that he still tried. That he still crushed Harry into his limited arm-space even though it wasn’t that comfortable for either of them. Harry wouldn’t have it any other way.

Louis was already back asleep as Harry lay awake a while. He heard singing and recognized Kit’s voice. When he heard the front door go an hour later, he knew Zayn had come by. He didn’t want to move from Louis’ arms and he knew he didn’t have to-Zayn had probably come to take Kit on a date, not to see him.

He settled back into the bed.

He wanted to make a plan, to book a nice place for him and Louis to eat and then to present Louis with something that consolidated their promise to each other. Of course, he hadn’t worked for too long and his meager earnings were hardly enough to do anything lavish but Louis had told him he preferred the park to anything expensive and so he decided to show Louis a little bit of himself, instead.

“Are you awake?” Louis husked, sensing wriggling from Harry’s body in his arms.

“Sorry,” Harry apologized automatically.

Louis smiled, nuzzling his neck.

“Don’t be. I want to be awake with you, is all.” Louis stated.

Harry smiled too even if Louis wouldn’t see it.

“Creep,” he accused in that way he used to, when they first met.

“Always,” Louis took the title proudly.

“I was thinking we could go to my mom’s,” Harry said then, air trapping in his lungs.

Louis stilled behind him then Harry felt his lips press into his neck.

“Really?” He asked, sounding all hopeful. Harry had no idea why and he might even be setting Louis up for a grave disappointment.

“I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” he sighed.

“I don’t care about that,” Louis assured, stroking Harry’s hair back. It was a soothing gesture, comforting and gentle.

“Well, I’ll know for sure, won’t I?” he mused of his parents somewhat indifference toward him.

“ _We’ll_ know,” Louis corrected.

Everything they did now, they did together. Enjoyed the highs, shared the lows. Harry felt stronger in the knowledge.

“Maybe if I tell them about my music they’ll be proud of me,” Harry commented.

“Don’t tell them,” Louis cast. “They should be proud without that.”

“Proud of their prostitute son who takes off his clothes and snorts cocaine?” Harry led.

Louis cuddled him.

“That’s not _you_ , Harry. It’s what you _did_. You don’t do that anymore…”

“No,” Harry whispered, remembering his shot at a real life now.

“I’m so proud of you, okay?” Louis hummed, squeezing him.

“Thank you,” Harry smiled weakly; folding his hands over Louis’ arms to acknowledge his hug.

“We should get up then I guess?” He ventured.

Harry turned in the bed, in Louis’ arms and kissed him for a moment, tenderly, softly, like butterfly’s wings.

“Okay, I’m ready,” Harry announced.

Louis smirked and rolled out of bed, tugging Harry playfully with him.

///

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, hope you enjoy the last chapter! I am not sure what I am posting next yet, I have a couple of one shots I will put up and then I will pick another long story so any preferences from my list let me know :)
> 
> I love you all
> 
> Ang
> 
> p.s song by Ringo Powers

** CHAPTER 18 **

 

Louis was in one of his trendy suits- all thin lapels, tight trousers and collarless shirt. He’d even done his hair to look smart, presentable. He hadn’t quite managed to shave but still, he’d tried. Harry had knocked the razor out of his hand and told him not to be anybody else, to just be himself.

Louis had argued that he could shave to meet his boyfriend’s parents and still been himself but Harry had rubbed his cheek into that long beard and left a very obvious red patch on his face to show that Louis owned him and well, who was Louis to argue with that really?

So he grasped Harry’s fingers nervously, a vice like grip on them as he crushed them all together in his fist and Harry couldn’t help casting a fond look down on his boyfriend beside him as they stood outside his parents’ house.

Louis was petrified. He at least owed it to him to try and ease his fear. He leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

“Lou, they’re not axe murderers,” he assured softly.

Louis gulped and nodded, shooting him a tight, if fake, smile.

Harry cast a look down his own outfit. Ripped, tight jeans that glimpsed at his knee and thigh, his favourite brown suede boots, his navy blue t-shirt and his hair was long and natural; soft and clean. He looked less than his twenty years like this, Louis said.

Harry had argued that meant Louis was a pedophile but that ended up with Louis spanking his backside a whole three times before Harry crowded against the sink to cease his attack. They had giggled and kissed for long moments after that.

Getting here had been a small miracle considering their morning.

Harry led the way up the path, knocking on the door. It opened almost right away and Harry wondered if his parents hadn’t heard them in the drive before they knocked.

“Mom,” Harry greeted the older lady behind the door.

Her eyes watered as she pulled the door open and took a tentative step out.

“Harold, is it really you?” Daphne Styles whispered.

Harry blushed at her using his given name.

‘Harold?’ Louis mouthed as Harry darted him a look.

“Yeah, it’s me, mom,” he sighed.

Daphne’s tears ran over her eyes and he quickly gave her a one-armed hug as she clutched at him.

“We thought we’d lost you…” she admitted quietly. “We made a terrible mistake in sending you away…”

Louis lifted a brow at Harry as if to say ‘see?’

“Mom, this is my boyfriend, Louis,” he introduced then, wanting his mother to know the whole truth.

If she was going to be homophobic it may as well be before they got inside the house.

Daphne turned to the smaller man; noting his years on her son, noting his kind-looking face and even kinder eyes. She didn’t miss the way he clutched at her son’s hand or the way Harry was leaning toward him, as if this Louis was his rock. She couldn’t help but cup his face, overwhelmed.

“You brought him?” She guessed.

Louis opened his mouth, shocked at her intuition. He could only nod, with a heavy swallow.

“Thank you,” she whispered, hugging him, too.

Harry found it all kinds of odd that his mom suddenly liked hugging people. Especially gay ones.

“You’re so handsome,” Daphne said then with a smile.

Louis cleared his throat with a shy ‘thank you’ and let her sandwich one of his hands between hers.

“You best come inside,” she invited.

Harry paused and Louis, who had been about to step inside, waited patiently.

“What about dad?” Harry asked honestly. He could have guessed his mom would be more accepting of his return. He still wasn’t sure his dad had gotten over the shame of having a gay son.

“He’ll want to meet Louis,” she said only, leading Louis into the house by their joined hands and Louis darted a look back at Harry in a ‘help!’ gesture that Harry chuckled at.

“I told you, they won’t kill you,” he murmured as he followed them inside.

 

//

 

“Christopher!” Daphne called, shrill and hopeful. “Christopher, Harold’s here!”

Harry rolled his eyes at the use of his full name again.

“It’s Harry now, mom,” he offered softly.

Daphne brought Louis into the living room where Christopher flipped down his paper to asses him coolly. He had the same intense green eyes as Harry but none of his warmth.

“That’s not Harold,” Christopher stated.

Harry shuffled in behind them all.

“Oh,” Christopher said then, standing. “Good to see you, son,” he managed gruffly.

Harry shrugged awkwardly.

“Guessed I should let you know I’m still alive,” he remarked.

Christopher nodded, regret flickering across his face.

“I’m glad you came,” he said, then looked to Louis again. “Who’s this then?”

“My boyfriend,” Harry said again, firm and proud.

Christopher looked him over, head to toe. His gaze narrowed but his eyes showed something other than the disdain Louis had expected. He looked…proud.

“You came to meet us,” he said more than asked.

Louis nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Must be serious, then,” Harry’s dad commented.

Louis blinked, meeting his gaze.

“Yes, it is,” he stated.

Harry flicked Louis a look, one corner of his mouth upturning to reveal a dimple there.

“Louis saved me, dad,” Harry said then, softly.

The words were unspoken but they all knew what that meant, could see the health in Harry’s skin, the clearness of his eyes. The way his body was languid with ease; how his dimples popped up every two seconds in Louis’ company.

“Seems we owe you a debt of gratitude,” Christopher mumbled.

Louis shrugged shyly.

“Really, no need,” he assured.

“Will you stay for tea?” Daphne asked and Harry all-out grinned at Louis.

“Tea?” Louis repeated, his British accent coming through. “An American who drinks tea, I think we could get along,” Louis teased now the awkward moments were out of the way.

Harry’s mother simply melted at Louis’ attention and she led him through to the kitchen to help at his insistence.

Harry was left with his father, hands in jeans pockets as he bit his lip nervously.

“Smart young man, that boy of yours,” Christopher commented as he idly picked up his paper but not actually reading it.

“Yeah, I did well, I know,” Harry tried to pip him to the post on that front.

Christopher brought his gaze back up.

“We’ve missed you,” he expressed then, sadly. “I’ve regretted it every day since you left and I’ve thought of nothing else.”

Harry swallowed, hard. It helped hearing it but it didn’t change the past.

“You made me feel unwelcome here,” Harry accused softly, not wanting to get into a fight. “I had to make my own life.”

“I know,” his dad nodded. “But I should have been there to tell you that Louis is the lucky one,” Christopher whispered. “Whoever gets you is the lucky one, not the other way around…”

Harry nodded once, surprised at his dad’s words. Really, he’d never felt special in this household, always being told not to sing, not to dance. Still, if they couldn’t be on loving terms, at least they could be civil.

“Louis and I are in it for the long haul,” Harry offered gently.

Christopher nodded.

“Best give him my permission, then,” he mused and Harry frowned.

Permission?

Permission to what? His eyes widened as he realized his dad meant permission to get married.

He blurted out some amused air.

“Christ, dad, we’ve only known each other a few months,” he teased.

Christopher managed a smile.

“I’m pleased with your choice,” he said instead.

Harry nodded. He was, too.

Louis came back into the room brandishing a tray. He served Daphne’s first, then Christopher’s.

Harry took the last two cups and they all sat in the living room.

“Was just telling Harry that I give you my permission,” Christopher said into the quiet room and Harry blushed and made a face at his dad.

“Shh,” he hissed, shooting his mom a pleading look.

Louis looked blankly from Christopher to Harry.

“Oh?” He asked, genuinely intrigued. “Permission to what?”

“To marry me,” Harry supplied through gritted teeth.

Louis stopped stirring his tea. He swallowed and rested the spoon at the side of his cup. He sat back in the sofa beside Harry where Daphne had orchestrated they sit and he curled his hand gently around Harry’s knee, a loving gesture, nothing too shocking for a religious family.

“I’m completely honoured,” Louis managed breathily.

Harry snapped his gaze across to Louis, poking him in the ribs.

“Don’t listen to him; he’s trying to be funny.”

Harry thought he saw disappointment flick across Louis’ face. He felt like a shit for causing it.

“Oh,” Louis forced a smile, lowering his gaze to his lap where his lashes hit his cheeks in that way that Harry knew meant he felt vulnerable. “Well, anyway, maybe one day in the future,” he ventured softly.

Harry couldn’t stop staring at Louis, he really couldn’t. Fuck. This was all kinds of surprising. That he had thought about it, had imagined it even. Not that Harry wasn’t the marrying kind, but really, he didn’t expect Louis to see him as such. And it was hitting him really hard how much Louis wanted to marry him. It was maybe hitting him really hard how much he wanted it, too.

Jesus. Ten minutes in his parents’ house and he was the marrying kind.

Harry needed to assure Louis somehow, subtly since he didn’t want to be cupping him though his trousers in a blatant kind of way or straddling him on the sofa right in front of his parents because he kind of felt like doing both of those things, really.

He let his hand trickle down Louis’ arm, the soft, sensitive underside which made Louis lift his hand from where it cupped Harry’s knee. He curled his fingers into Louis’ and lifted his hand up, kissing the back of Louis’ sweetly. His eyes kept a steady gaze with Louis’ confused ones and Harry could tell he felt uncomfortable with the PDA. He stiffened slightly at it, blinked shy lashes down again.

“One day I’ll make him proud enough to want to,” Harry told his parents, his gaze staying on Louis.

“You already do,” Louis whispered, clearing his throat to turn his attention back to Daphne. “You make excellent tea, by the way,” he said then, to steer clear of the subject of marriage.

Harry smirked, just a little naughty, boyish smile as he looked at his dad.

“So how are things with you?” Harry asked, settling into the sofa with a firm grip on Louis’ hand as his parents recounted their lives to date.

//

Louis was blindfolded.

He didn’t entirely dislike the feeling but it wasn’t as though he and Harry had ventured into some kinky stuff in their sex life or anything. No, Harry was leading him toward a ‘secret location’.

Of course, Louis expected it to be somewhere in town since the ride they’d taken with Jake had been less than twenty minutes and the noises around them suggested it was populated.

Still, his impish smile didn’t need to be contained as he put out his hands in front of him and Harry guided him carefully though the streets.

“Really, I don’t get it,” Louis teased. “Why can’t I know the route?”

“You just can’t,” Harry sighed. “It’s all part of the build up…”

Louis shrugged. He was in his more comfortable black jeans, vans and a t-shirt tonight. Harry had specifically told him ‘no suit’, and he loved how soft he could be with Harry.

Harry paused; he and Louis stumbled a little from being stopped.

“Whoa,” Harry gently steadied him, hands at his waist. They crept lower; bunching at his hips with his t-shirt under those fingers. Harry crowded behind him, his breath against his cheek.

“So, we made it,” Harry murmured and Louis wasn’t sure if he meant the venue or their relationship.

Louis leaned back into him.

“Can I look now?” He asked expectantly.

He felt Harry swallow, surprised at his nerves. His blindfold was unknotted- it was actually Harry’s green scarf and he didn’t bother to tie it back into his curls as Louis blinked, his eyes getting used to the dark night and neon lights. He hung the scarf around his neck instead.

They were in front of a very unique-looking restaurant, all wood and oak and…hang on…it was called ‘The Old Crown’ and Louis recognized it as an English-style pub.

He turned to Harry, mouth open. “What…?” He sucked in air, stunned at how he’d found this place, and how special it was finding something from Louis’ home. He may not have lived there for fifteen years but still, it meant an awful lot.

“I’ll bring Kit another time,” he promised quickly, sensing Louis was about to suggest it.

Louis smiled wryly. “Got me,” he nodded.

Harry crossed his legs, twisting a little girlishly.

Louis darted him a look.

“Harry, you didn’t need to do this,” he denied softly, awed at his effort.

Harry took his hand and led him forward...

“All for a stunning gentleman,” he offered in his best British accent.

Louis cast out a bemused breath of air. “Can’t say the English ever thought so…”

“Idiots,” Harry shrugged, pushing through the door to order them each a beer.

The food was traditional, authentic and Louis took a great amount of time deciding, finally choosing fish and chips to mark the occasion. Harry ordered steak and kidney pie and promised to share.

“This is beyond,” Louis shook his head, gazing at Harry across their small table.

“I wanted to do something. I’m not good with words, I always end up copying what you say but this seemed like a good thing,” he expressed.

“Your songs are enough words for me,” Louis assured.

Their meals were delivered just as Harry glanced at him, all bright eyed and young-looking.

“About that,” Harry broached.

“Your singing?” Louis checked and Harry nodded, popping a chip into his mouth.

“I have a song I’m going to perform after we eat,” he shared.

Louis lifted his brows.

“How’s the demo going?” He asked as a by-question.

“My demo got picked up by this little independent company. They’re British but they came here to help struggling artists such as myself and I figured I owed the British a little loyalty,” Harry twinkled.

Louis tilted his head. “Do I know them?”

“No,” Harry mused. “But they can’t wait to meet you…”

“And this song is for them?” Louis checked of this news.

Harry downturned his lips.

“No, this song is for you.” He assured.

Louis felt like climbing across the table- food or no food- and kissing the life out of his boyfriend.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard tonight,” Louis muttered under his breath; taking another mouthful of his battered fish.

He shared a forkful with Harry, who then swapped a mouthful of his pie in return.

He could barely finish his meal; his belly was so tight with anticipation. Every song that Harry had sung had meant so much to him and he had seen how draining Harry found it to sing them which meant they also meant an awful lot to him, too. The fact Harry was singing a song to him, _just_ for him was all kinds of amazing.

Louis still wondered what he had done to deserve all this but he sat back with a quietly proud smile as Harry picked up his guitar and sat on the tiny ‘stage’ that was really just a corner stepped up an inch or so. Still, Harry didn’t need a microphone and Louis watched him work his nimble fingers over the chords.

_Didn't know I could fall down like this Didn't know I could let this leave my lips_

_Didn't know I would find something so strong If you leave me Can't move on_

_Now these feelings getting stronger our conversations are getting longer and I gotta know I gotta know_

_Do you feel it? Tell me you feel it, feel it too 'Cause my heart burns and burns and burns When I look at you_

_Baby, tell me have you felt this alive in years? If you want to we can go for a ride just come here_

_If you want to just stay up inside enough in love that's fine by me_

_Now these feelings are getting stronger and you're hanging here much longer and I gotta know Boy, I gotta know_

_Do you feel it? Tell me you feel it, feel it too 'Cause my heart burns and burns and burns when I look at you_

_Tell me you love me Tell me what I'm supposed to do 'Cause my heart burns and burns and burns when I look at you_

_I don't care what you've done baby, I don't want just another one All I want All I need is your love_

_Allright_

_I don't care what you've done baby, I don't want just another one All I want All I need is your love_

_Just tell me, tell me, tell me you feel it Tell me you feel it, feel it too 'Cause my heart burns and burns and burns When I look at you_

_Tell me you love me Tell me what I'm supposed to do 'cause my heart burns and burns and burns when I look at you._

_Do you feel it? Tell me you feel it, feel it too 'Cause my heart burns and burns and burns When I look at you._

 

Harry peered at Louis as he finished singing, laying the guitar down gently and walking into Louis’ open arms. It didn’t take a minute before Louis was kissing him, not caring if the whole pub were watching them make out.

“Thank you,” Louis expressed as he pulled away, cupping Harry’s jaw, brushing his thumb against his cheek.

“I have something,” Harry said on a thick voice, his throat clogging with emotion.

Louis’ face softened, he looked overwhelmed.

“There’s more?”

Harry nodded and fished into his jeans pocket, pulling out a small box.

The room hushed and Harry looked about them embarrassedly. He hadn’t exactly planned on this being witnessed.

“I’m not proposing or anything,” he said, more to inform their audience than Louis, but still…he would propose to Louis one day just maybe not today, not with _this_ ring, at least.

Louis licked his lips and hid a smirk.

“It’s okay,” he assured kindly, sucking in a nervous breath anyway.

Harry split the box open to reveal a simple grey silver band. It wasn’t expensive, or flashy or impressive in the terms Harry guessed Louis was used to. But he’d busked for six days straight to get this and taken his top off for a few of those sessions to earn more tips. It had worked of course, but he didn’t plan on selling his body again, he only did it that once for Louis.

Louis was speechless. Truly. He could only swallow and try not to cry. It was maybe only the second time he’d let Harry see his tears, the first being when Harry was in hospital. He didn’t care much for hiding them right now, either. He dashed them away with the backs of his hands.

“Fuck!” he gasped, trying to save himself. “You bastard,” he accused fondly, softly.

Harry grinned and gathered him up in his strong arms; laying kisses into his hair.

“I love you, Lou, okay?” he promised breathily.

Louis took the ring out of its cushion and studied it, slipping it onto his engagement finger despite Harry’s claim not to be asking for his hand in marriage.

“Don’t want anyone getting confused,” Louis said as Harry gazed at him, touched.

Harry kissed him again, calmingly. “They won’t. You’re mine, now.”

Louis blinked, leaning into him where Harry cupped his lower back.

“This is amazing, truly,” Louis murmured. “But I kind of want to leave now…”

Harry arched a brow. “Oh?” he teased with a knowing little smirk. “And why might that be?”

Louis flattened his palms on Harry’s chest, tipping onto his toes to reach his ear.

“Need to be inside you,” he murmured and Harry bit back a moan; circling his hips into Louis’.

“Fuck, yeah,” Harry agreed, grabbing his hand and tugging him out of the pub.

 

//

Louis pressed Harry up against the front door as soon as they managed to get it shut. He grabbed his hands and pushed them flat against the solid wood; claiming him as he devoured his mouth; trying to express in any which way just how he felt about Harry’s gift tonight.

Louis didn’t quite feel that he’d ever be able to express how Harry made him feel; especially when he had a good idea just how much effort Harry had taken to afford the ring he now wore. And Louis could buy him the most expensive ring and it would never mean as much because it wasn’t the price tag that meant anything. It was that Harry wanted him to wear his ring, be his and show the world that fact.

Louis’ kiss hardened but even when Louis was kissing him hard, it was with love in those urgent lips. Harry gave himself into it with a needy groan; writhing under his ownership but softening to his authority with the knowledge Louis would never hurt him.

Harry remembered at the start when he had doubted that Louis could be as gentle as he appeared but he had proved him wrong on that, still did, since Harry was happily conceding his power to Louis in this moment.

It was all kinds of sexy knowing that Louis found his ring-giving a turn on; enjoyed the whole evening he had planned in fact. It could have lasted longer if not for this- their passion, their need for each other.

Harry arched as the letter-box dug into his lower back and Louis lifted him away from the door to spin them; staggering toward a wall where Harry’s back hit with the cushion of Louis’ hands; his breath puffed out of his lungs with the impact.

Louis took that chance to beak their kiss, labouring his lips down Harry’s neck, onto his collar-bones where he scraped his teeth and Harry pushed at Louis to try and undress him but Louis was too busy looking for the hem of Harry’s t-shirt; pushing his hands under it in lieu of taking it off since his hands were shaking so badly he wasn’t even sure he could manage that feat.

His thumbs brushed upwards, towards Harry’s belly and Harry couldn’t help folding his arms around Louis’ shoulders with a smirk; holding him close as he stilled.

Louis’ thumbs had just come into contact with his new piercing- a bar through his belly button.

“Oh fuck, Harry, fuck!” Louis thrust into him and again with each swear word.

Louis practically growled and found the semblance to rip Harry’s t-shirt from his body, not stopping before he quickly undid his belt and pushed down his jeans, wanting to see him, all of him, naked and pierced.

Louis stepped back; one hand to Harry’s chest to keep him pressed to the wall as Louis gazed at his belly. Harry was hard; his body mirrored Louis’ in that respect and his dick pointed right at his new body art.

Harry blinked slowly, licking his kiss- swollen lips. “You like it?” he husked.

Louis flicked him a look and then dropped to his knees; cupping the back of Harry’s thighs before swallowing him down, needing to show him exactly how much he liked everything about Harry. From the tips of his curly hair to the toes of his big feet; he loved everything probably a little too much he conceded.

Harry arched his hips forward and cried out; splaying his hands against the wall to anchor him, settling his feet apart to try and stay upright, far too turned on to really manage that objective but still, he had to try. For Louis’ sake, he had to try.

Louis sucked him, licked his tongue around and took him deep into his mouth; dragging Harry’s hand away from the wall to press to his cheek so Harry could feel himself inside his mouth, big and gagging him. Louis dribbled at the size of him, at trying to take him and Harry uttered low, sexy words to encourage him, to make this moment last. If it could last forever, he might just be able to cope with that.

As it was, he felt his peak nearing far too soon and ran his fingers into Louis hair, trying to ease him off, trying to prolong his release but Louis on a mission, tight and steady with his mouth, his rhythym; knew exactly how to bring Harry to his high.

Of course, Louis was going to fuck him and he wouldn’t want Harry to wait for this pleasure, he’d want Harry to be ruined first, relaxed and soft with his orgasm and Harry wondered what Louis planned to do with him but he knew their sex would be loving no matter what. They’d just made a promise to each other and he wanted Louis to own him to consummate that promise.

“Ah! Ah-” Harry thrust into Louis mouth as Louis flicked his tongue across the head of his dick, apparently inviting his hips to buck from doing such a thing because Harry couldn’t have stopped himself if he tried. He grasped at Louis’ too-long hair, finding wisps to curl his fingers through, to try and hold on with; his fingers curling onto Louis’ neck as he pushed himself deep into his throat, hearing Louis choking on his size as he tried to keep up.

Harry might even feel bad for forcing himself down Louis’ throat that way; for being a douche but Louis was squeezing his buttocks and eating him down in a way that Harry couldn’t mistake as invitation to be deep-throated. He came undone when Louis trailed delicate fingers all the way down his spine, over his ass-crack and cupped his balls to finish. Harry had never fucked anyone’s mouth and had them do that before. It was juxtaposed tenderness and it felt oddly erotic in the blatantly hot moment.

He panted hard as his lungs tried to recall how to work; Louis lapping at him to taste his come.

Harry looked down, and found Louis biting into his lower lip as he looked up under thick lashes, eyes darkly intense.

Oh fuck.

Harry swallowed, leading Louis through to the kitchen, gently undressing him and hitching up onto the counter as Louis disappeared to find lube. In seconds he was back; pushing Harry’s knees up and tipping him back; his hand braced on the worktop behind Harry acting as a stop; his arm a resting place for Harry’s back. Harry tipped his knees out; hands going to Louis’ now-naked shoulders; running down his lovely chest; toward his happy-trail.

His eyes dipped lower to where Louis was hard and straining and Harry could tell by the slight part of his lips and the short sharp breaths out of them that he was struggling to keep his control. He was so hard his veins looked angry with need. His body was beautifully taut and Harry loved the sight of him, all untidy and messed by his hands.

He cupped Louis’ face, making sure their eyes met as Louis broached his rim with two bold fingers.

“Too much?” Louis husked as Harry gasped in surprise, tightening around his touch.

Harry shook his head, swallowing, easing back a little to take more. Louis obliged him, dipping in deep; scissoring his fingers to ease his muscles, his touch a little rough, evidencing his need.

“Lou, take me,” Harry said, seeing the grim line on Louis’ mouth, the way his body quivered with his urge to release.

Louis flicked up his dark grey eyes in silent question.

“I’m good,” Harry promised.

Louis frowned, pushing his fingers deeper deliberately, feeling Harry’s objection deep inside. It was too soon, his arousal would surely be too much.

Harry pulled Louis closer with his feet on his back; linking his ankles once Louis was close enough and Louis could barely move his hand out of him for being so tight together. Louis looked into his eyes, bucked his hips in experimentation, lodging his fingers deep inside Harry with a thrust.

“Fuck!” Harry whined, arching to take more of him and Louis repeated the action with his hips, burying his fingers into Harry as if to make his point.

The way his fingers were deep and tight inside him as Harry’s body struggled to take their stretching width only made Louis’ need ever more sharp and urgent.

“Lou,” Harry begged and if Louis doubted his readiness, he didn’t vocalize his doubts as he inched his hand from Harry’s body; lubing himself up and tucking his body close, just his tip broaching Harry’s rim as he met his gaze.

 

Harry’s eyes sparkled like the night mixed with emeralds, like fairies and imps dancing among the trees and Louis lost himself there in that magical feeling; taking a moment to own Harry’s kiss-swollen lips.

 

As their eyes met and locked again as they pulled away, Harry felt breathless at the intensity of it; at the way they synced so perfectly, both picturing what was about to come behind lust-darkened eyes.

 

“Gonna make you mine now,” Louis husked and his need was too great to exercise control as his hips flicked to embed him deep inside the tightness his fingers had broached just moments before.

 

He felt Harry tighten around him, thought maybe he had pushed it too far this time, had hurt him, but then Harry’s body began to ease and he thumbed his nipples and kissed his neck, waiting for him to fully relax before he bucked his hips again.

 

Harry’s muscles constricted around him again on his second stroke and he eased his shocked body once more with soothing touches from his hands; down his back, over his hips, thumbing his belly as if he could feel himself inside.

 

Harry took him as he pushed up into him again; hard and fast and deep.

 

He closed his eyes and let his lips part in shocked wonder, trying to fill his lungs with oxygen to power his body, another thrust filling Harry to the hilt with his length.

 

"Umph," Harry choked, ruined by him, taken to another place every time they joined this way.

 

Louis banded his arms around Harry body as if that would protect him from his fierce strikes but the truth was Harry didn't want protection, he wanted this ruin as much as Louis wanted to deal it and he didn't mind one bit that it was Louis who owning him. He never had.

 

Harry would get to own him back every day for the rest of their lives. 

 

"Last- man- to- fuck- you," Louis chanted with his thrusts as Harry’s muscles eased, spreading his hand against Harry’s belly to cage his piercing. "Fuck this is sexy," he muttered, running his hand onto Harry’s thigh, rounding that flesh.

 

He fucked up into him, his face tight and his touch claiming. He ran his hand up to where Harry’s butt met the worktop and he pulled at his ass cheek: spreading the flesh further apart so he could watch his body disappear into Harry’s.

 

"Love you, Lou," Harry husked, words soft in the hard moment. "Now fuck me," he added, giving permission for Louis to let go.

 

Louis didn't think he could go any harder, get any deeper but Harry’s call for him to try brought him fast to his edge where he fucked into him; biting into his shoulder to curb his cries which still spilled out of his lips as his mouth slackened in ecstasy and he pressed into Harry’s neck with those parted lips; as if asking Harry to protect him in that moment as he came undone.

 

His release was hard but not fast. He felt his body spasm for long moments; easing into Harry’s body as his seed pumped out and Harry took him- every inch, every thrust as he wrapped him close in his strong arms.

 

“Jesus, Lou,” Harry panted, head pressed hard to Louis’ where their hair mixed and their bodies were still connected intimately as Louis caught his breath.

 

Louis shifted, just slightly and Harry winced, leaning back a little as Louis eased from him. He blinked as Louis looked up at him and then helped him down from the counter where Harry gave him a bemused smile, his thighs wet with come.

 

Louis brought him into a protected hug, kissing his enlarged red lips.

 

“I was right, it was too soon,” Louis husked worriedly.

 

Harry shook his head. “No, I needed you in me, okay?”

 

Louis sucked his lower lip, tightened his arms as he looked up at his boyfriend.

 

“I needed you, too,” Louis admitted softly.

 

Harry led them through to the living room, his body languid and relaxed as Louis watched his muscled back. The way his longs legs strode, even lazily, toward his destination. He pulled the throw across the sofa cushions and eased down, Louis kneeling slightly to the side to eventually lay on top of Harry’s soft, pale and naked body.

 

Louis felt Harry’s arms fold around his neck and he arranged his own, one to cup Harry’s shoulder and one rested on his pec. He brushed his cheek against Harry’s collarbone where he turned to kiss his lips briefly before settling again.

 

“Your maids might find us,” Harry mused, comfortably parting his thighs so that Louis’ were either side of his as he draped across his front.

 

Louis smirked.

 

“Might make their day,” he teased.

 

Harry let out an amused breath. He lifted his head.

 

“Not into threesomes are you?” He checked.

 

“Nope,” Louis assured, and then brushed his stubble into Harry’s skin. “You were though.”

 

Harry smiled faintly at his past.

 

“Can’t say I’m all that proud…”

 

“I remember you teasing me about orgies,” Louis mused.

 

Harry swallowed; picking up Louis’ hand from his chest; thumbing the ring on his finger.

 

“You think it means anything compared to this?” Harry asked.

 

Louis felt his chest fill with something warm and achingly sweet. He shifted a little, looked into Harry’s earnest face. His hair was curled tighter from being wet with sweat; his eyes were soft and content. His handsome features were relaxed with happiness, not just with sated satisfaction from their sex, he had contentment about him that Louis would never have imagined possible when they first met.

 

“I hope not,” Louis admitted, dropping a meaningful kiss to Harry’s mouth.

 

“I want forever, Louis,” Harry promised again.

 

Louis smiled, slow and crinkled, the best kind of smile in Harry’s opinion.

 

“I want to talk about getting married, but I know it’s too soon,” he swallowed vulnerably.

 

Harry knew the ordeal with Richard had excelled their need to be together, to be committed and to express their love. But he had another reason to delay Louis’ proposal.

 

“ _I’m_ asking,” Harry said quickly, his voice shaky.

 

Louis blinked, his smile deepening.

 

“Oh?” he arched a brow, amused.

 

Harry nodded. “S’true. You have to let me.”

 

“How long will it take?” Louis wondered lightly. “I might get tired waiting…”

 

Harry wriggled a little on the sofa with Louis in his arms as they leisurely stroked fingertips across each other’s skin to express their words.

 

Harry sucked a breath in, insanely nervous at the idea of asking Louis to marry him. Not because of getting married, although he’d never considered himself the marrying kind before Louis, but because he wanted Louis to say yes. Because he wanted it to be the perfect setting, the perfect moment, maybe when they were on holiday on a beach somewhere enjoying a sunset.

 

Somewhere he could get down on one knee and do it properly. He could picture his perfect proposal in his head.

 

“Louis Tomlinson, will you marry me?” Harry murmured, still in his little dream world where he hadn’t realized he’d spoken aloud.

 

He frowned, flicking confused green eyes to blue grey ones. Had he just-? He hadn’t had he? _Oh sweet Jesus, please say he hadn’t…_

 

Louis was blinking, a stunned look on his face and Harry realized he was blinking back tears. His awe must stem from the fact he’d just vocalized his worry that Harry would never ask.

 

“Fuck,” Harry hissed, getting antsy. “I was saving it for a sunset! For a beach!” he added angrily, pulling himself up into a sitting position and knocking Louis from his body to the side a little.

 

Louis dragged himself into a curl; swallowing nervously.

 

“Didn’t you mean it then?” He whispered; biting his lip.

 

Harry darted his wide green eyes to him.

 

“Of course I meant it, but not here,” Harry denied. “When we’re on holiday and I can get on one knee and make it perfect…the whole night has to be perfect…”

 

Louis cupped his cheek, brought his face around towards his own.

 

“Tonight is pretty perfect,” Louis offered, his tongue venturing out to lick his suddenly very dry lips, not sure if Harry was proposing to him or not.

 

Harry scowled, hopping off the couch to pace up and down, completely naked and agitated, an attractive mix, Louis considered.

 

Finally he turned and knelt down by the sofa, where Louis had turned to sit with his legs over the front.

 

Harry huffed once or twice, running his hand through his long curls. Eventually he took Louis’ hand and peeked up at him with unsure eyes.

 

“Well, this isn’t how I pictured it,” he muttered drily to himself.

 

“I don’t want sunsets and beaches,” Louis husked back, biting his lip as Harry shot him a glare.

 

 _Okay, he was getting there_. Louis waited.

 

Harry swallowed.

 

“Will you spend the rest of your life with me?” Harry posed, changing his question since he’d fucked it up the first time.

 

Louis grinned, big and happy.

 

“Yes,” he answered easily, biting his lip to contain his pleasure.

 

Harry rolled his eyes. “You could make me sweat a little since I fucked it all up…”

 

Louis smirked, standing up, pulling Harry to his feet. He pressed his palms to Harry’s clean white chest.

 

“Sorry Harry, I’m really not sure I can spend forever with you,” Louis teased huskily, kissing him on the mouth.

 

“After all, you’re useless at proposing,” he added amusedly, kissing down his chest to his belly.

 

Harry sucked in a breath, tightening his muscles, tensing his body.

 

Louis sank to his knees, his lips working lower to Harry’s hip, heading toward his happy trail.

 

“I just don’t know if I can make love to one man for the rest of my life,” Louis’ voice was soft and quiet and so, so sexy. Harry closed his eyes and groaned.

 

“Can you?” Louis asked, looking up under thick lashes.

 

Harry looked down, cupping Louis’ face in his gentle hands.

 

“Yes,” he answered, not playing along with Louis; game or even pretending to.

 

“But all those orgies,” Louis twinkled, his eyes crinkling as he looked up, lowering his lips to press them into Harry’s half-hard dick.

 

“Fuck them,” Harry breathed; leaning over to pull Louis up from his knees. He’d just blown him, he wasn’t about to let him do it again.

 

“I expect you did,” Louis arched a teasing brow.

 

“Don’t fuck them then,” Harry countered his voice husky and low as he pulled Louis into his arms. “Just marry me and forget about orgies,” he begged.

 

Louis blinked, still surprised to hear Harry say the words.

 

“You’re sure I’m enough?” Louis whispered and Harry knew he wasn’t joking anymore. And if their relationship hadn’t proved to Louis that he needed nothing more than him, then his kiss did.

 

“Marry me, Louis,” Harry husked into his ear, cupping his bottom as he leaned into him.

 

Louis cradled his heavy body; wrapping his arms about Harry’s thick shoulders, his lips next to his ear where his hair lay long and spiraling cutely.

 

“Only if you marry me,” he whispered back; closing his eyes to stop the tears of happiness escaping his eyes once more.

 

Harry grinned into his neck and squeezed him close.

 

“Fuck, I’m really shit at this,” he lamented.

 

Louis pulled away, showed Harry the glistening in his eyes which Harry regarded with a fond thumb against his cheek, brushing there gently.

 

“You’re the only person who’s happy at getting me for life,” Harry joked.

 

Louis reached up to kiss him.

 

“Take me to bed and make this official,” Louis challenged softly.

 

Harry’s smile was slow and filthy.

 

//

 


End file.
